


the greatest pretenders

by snowyseas



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, NaruSaku - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV Uzumaki Naruto, Post-Chapter 700 (Naruto), Romance, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha, no infidelity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2020-08-23 15:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 91,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20244979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowyseas/pseuds/snowyseas
Summary: Fifteen years is a long time to not talk to someone you consider your best friend, and is made even more difficult when they (and you) are married. The things Sakura should have confronted Naruto about never came to fruition, but as an old saying goes, "the truth will always be revealed". [Also posted on FFnet]





	1. Repress

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Revelation of All Things](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8127176) by [EllenEmbee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllenEmbee/pseuds/EllenEmbee). 
  * Inspired by [The Girl from Whirlpool](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/576895) by SilverShine. 

> Hello everyone (or whoever happens to be reading this fic on here)! I have decided to add "the greatest pretenders" to my list of works on AO3 as I felt that this is a more conducive environment for writers to keep being creative without getting SO much hate! No worries though, if you're part of the crowd that reads on FFnet, the story will keep updating there as well as here. That way, people who are more comfortable on a different website than FFnet can read here instead, if they so wish. Though not a lot of people on here read my works, I still want to thank everyone who has been a fan of my work for years -- despite the fact that sometimes it takes me forever to update. 
> 
> I thank all of you, because without you, I wouldn't be growing as a writer. Thank you for supporting me, and I hope that you continue to do so -- not just with this work, but with other future ones too (should you happen to be in that same fandom). 
> 
> Enjoy this infidelity-free, action-packed, angst-packed, and drama-filled Post-700 Naruto fanfic!

If there was one thing that she was grateful for, it was the sweet, life-inducing relief when a promise was unbroken.

Everyday since Sakura became a mother, she tried to follow a tight routine: she would go to work at the hospital, come home around 3:30PM, take a quick shower, catch up on house chores that she hadn't been able to get done, and begin to prepare dinner for her and her daughter. Just as she would be setting the plates onto the table, Sarada would burst through the door, sighing after another long day of training. There was hardly a day where the Second Tsunade would slack off from the duties she was responsible for, and she didn't really _have_ an excuse to slack off, no matter how one tried to look at it. If she wasn't at the hospital filing paperwork and treating her patients in the west wing, she was at home, trying to make a tolerable home for her family to live in. Craning her neck every now and then, Sakura glanced at the clock on the wall before her. 2:45PM.

She drew in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, before forcefully letting it out of her mouth.

"Is everything alright, Mrs. Uchiha?" her new male assistant spoke, his eyebrows twisted in that way that people did whenever they were expressing concern, but didn't want to pry too much.

"Yes," she replied, smiling, "just tired, is all."

Reaching for her purse under her desk, she paused and bit her lip. "What was your name again?" she asked, her smile awkward.

"Yuzuru, ma'am."

"Right," Sakura nodded, "you're new right?"

"Yes."

She stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder, stacking her paperwork in a neat pile in the corner of her desk, then placing a glass paperweight on top of it. Her heels clacked against the linoleum as she crossed the room to where the now frightened assistant sat, his eyes wide with the prospect that he did something wrong. Sakura leaned slightly over his desk, her smile as sweet as ever.

"Please help me to work hard," she said simply before walking towards the door. She could feel the young man's eyes on her, and she _could_ have been nicer to him on his first day, but with each passing day — despite her best efforts — she was becoming more and more like her loud, sake-drinking, ruthless master.

"H-have a great evening, Mrs. Uchiha," Yuzuru stuttered, abruptly standing from his seat.

Sakura smiled again, turning to look at him just in time to see his entire face lose color.

"You too, Yuzuru," she enunciated, "and it's _Ms. Haruno_."

Ever since the Fourth Shinobi War ended, all the people she knew from when she was a child were revered as heroes. For Ino, she was offered jobs throughout different countries as a top interrogator, and they certainly paid well, but she wanted to stay in Konoha with her family. Shikamaru was to be the head of a division for a task force involved in investigations, but he declined, deeming the job too troublesome. As for the rest of her classmates, they were each praised for their unique set of skills, especially if they possessed a bloodline limit that could prove useful in future political situations, like the Hyuugas and their respective counterparts, the Uchihas. Sakura smiled at the nurses that passed her by, wishing her a lovely evening and that they would see her tomorrow, and she knew that despite how kind she tried to appear to people, they would always see her as someone to be feared. It wasn't without reason, but still. If there was nothing for her to be proud of, she could certainly say that she made a name for herself.

Pulling out her cell phone, she sent a quick message to her husband, like she always did. This was a part of her routine that she didn't really divulge to anyone, even her own daughter. She cleared her throat as she walked towards the main part of Konoha, her sights set on Ichiraku Ramen, one of the first places she had bonded with her teammates at. She allowed a half smile to form on her face before she allowed the smell of chashuu ramen to fill her nostrils, feeling like she was remembering things she didn't want to. As she approached the street behind the Hokage's office, she felt a vibration in her bag and hastily pulled it out, her heart thumping in her chest.

_Not tonight._

That was all it read.

Admittedly, every time Sakura sent these messages to him, he almost always replied with the same answer. It was difficult to expect anything from someone who was never around, but a part of her still hoped and prayed anyway, because she knew that when it came down to it, _she_ made the decision to marry him. On some days, it left a bitter taste in her mouth, even as she was at work and doing what she loved, or even when she spent late Friday nights by the TV with their daughter, laughing at old sitcoms and making their own inside jokes. Even though Sarada never complained, Sakura knew she missed her father. HIs absence was felt even more prominently on the quieter nights when both of them were too tired or too stressed to speak with each other. Not that Sasuke would've made a difference, but at least he would have _been_ there.

Looking towards the pale sky, Sakura made a mental note to unpack all autumn clothes from the boxes she kept in their closets, and to start changing the air conditioners in their house to heater mode. Summer was coming to an obvious end and the townspeople were starting to wear light jackets and their boots. The trees were beginning to shed their red and brown leaves, and and warmer drinks were served at restaurants instead of cool ones. When she reached the junction that led to downtown Konoha, Sakura felt some kind of weight placed on her shoulders.

"Dangos! Fifty ryo for three sticks!"

"Stop by our izakaya for a thirty percent discount!"

"It's Ladies' Night at our karaoke bar, come sing your heart out!"

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Sakura looked straight ahead of her, ignoring the flyers being pushed in her face and the questions that were thrown at her. The _downside_ of living in a place that was modernised was that it was a struggle just to get home. She smiled politely as she passed by florists and mini-markets, bowing her head slightly and bidding them hello. It wasn't until a good fifteen minutes later that she finally opened the gate that led to the steps of the home that she had originally built with Sasuke. Staring at the wooden door, Sakura cleared her throat as she felt an unsettling sense of hollowness invading her thoughts. Taking one stair at a time, she pushed the door open and turned on the lights, taking in the sights of her empty home before her. She stretched her arms upwards, hearing her back pop in places that suddenly made her feel like she could breathe again. Making her way upstairs, she felt a vibration in her purse once again, which made her raise an eyebrow. Settling down onto her bed, her adept fingers quickly checked her messages and she could feel her stress taking form in the shape of potential wrinkles on her forehead.

_Having dinner with Chouchou at Ichiraku. Be back in two hours._

Sighing, Sakura flopped onto the bed and threw a pillow over her face, then proceeded to scream into it. Sure, she was a strict parent who hardly ever allowed last-minute plans to be executed, but she didn't exactly _have_ a reason to say no to Sarada. It wasn't like there was going to be some big surprise waiting for her daughter when she came through the door, which would have made both of them incredibly happy. Part of the reason that she loved routine was to that she didn't have to think about the missing gaps in her life that made her question her own decisions.

Rolling over, Sakura eyed the photo frames that she kept on the dresser, hesitating to really look at photos of her own face on it. Every time she tried to look at them, she felt like she was looking at someone else and the notion of such disassociation was one that she would prefer to deal with quietly. She exhaled through her nose and focused on Sasuke's emotionless face instead, and felt even worse at the prospect that she was probably raising a broken family all on her own.

Letting her eyes flutter closed, she couldn't help but wonder how much of an idiot she had been.

It goes without saying that despite the evident choices she made, she understood that she couldn't afford to be an irresponsible person. Just because Sasuke was never home, and just because she _hardly_ talked to any of the people she used to laugh with over a bottle of sake several times a month, it didn't mean she could neglect her responsibilities. That fact was made even more prominent _because_ Sasuke wasn't around. There were factors, and people, that made her life feel a little more worthwhile, even though the entire reason she begged the Fifth Hokage to take her under her tutelage was so that she could become a better ninja. In retrospect, being one of the top medical ninjas at Konoha's hospital was probably what kept her from going off the deep end.

Pushing herself off the bed, she sauntered over to her bathroom and washed her face of her makeup instead of taking a shower. Her toothbrush, she realized, was beginning to become frayed from excessive brushing. She touched her fingers to her cheeks and yawned, walking out of her bathroom and turning out the lights as she went along. Sakura may have disliked loud places, but at least it never made her feel alone. Her fingers reached for the stack of bills that she left on the coffee table in the living room, and she made her way to the dining table where there was a box of tissues sitting right next to her favorite seat, the one that was closest to the view of the streets at night.

With a red pen, she marked the bills that she had already paid while she was at work with a check mark, and made small notations at the top right corners of the ones she had yet to pay via her credit card. She _would_ complain more, and rant about the unfairness of having to pay bills by herself, but every now and then, she received more than enough money to cover the house's expenses for a few months from Sasuke. There was never a letter, never even a note that he bothered to send her to thank her or to assure her that he was safe, but as long as she periodically received his wordless support, she felt it unfair for her to shoot her mouth off. After all, _he_ was the one who told her he wanted to repent for his sins, even though the very definition of such an action meant facing the ones he had hurt.

Her hand moved to where her heart still lay beating and she remembered the pure devastation of _knowing_ he had truly wanted to kill her. Simply because he was so lost in his own thirst for strength.

Simply uttering the words 'I'm sorry' was a farce and it was doing the bare minimum in the process of wanting to change your bad habits into good ones. Sakura knew this, and she knew this fact very well. During the war, she had seen countless people who confessed their final regrets before she realised that she couldn't save them, and the remorse she heard in their voices was enough to tell her that they really meant it. With Sasuke, it had always merely felt like a formality. He never _actually_ meant it, except maybe when it came to certain people. The guy apologised to Kakashi for walking out on the village before he apologised to her for breaking her heart.

She leaned against the back of her chair and sighed, setting the pen down beside the envelopes before her.

Every now and then, Sakura remembered that all the animosity she felt for the crimes he committed simply wafted away as soon as he poked her forehead, telling her that he was sorry. All he had to do was touch her in all the places where it hurt, where she craved to be loved, and maybe the tragedy of that fact was that she didn't know any better. She was a smart, capable woman that knew right from wrong, but when it came to matters of her heart, she was a goner.

Truthfully, she had no idea what it was that she needed in order to make her happy.

"I'm home," Sakura heard her daughter call out from the entrance, and immediately perked up.

"That wasn't two hours."

"We decided to just stop by the convenience store and get some potato chips."

She moved to rest her cheek against her knuckle and waited for Sarada to come through the door. The dark-haired teenager offered her a tiny smile and set her things near the TV, plopping down onto the sofa.

"Long day?" Sakura joked.

"It always is."

"We have some leftovers from last night, if you want any."

"You didn't cook dinner for yourself?"

Sakura laughed, trying her best to convince her daughter that she was fine, and that nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I actually had some food right before I left the office, but I'll eat with you."

Sarada paused as she moved forward on her seat, her brow furrowed.

"Why do we have so many leftovers, anyway?"

"You know me," Sakura said casually, "I tend to overcook."

"You're lying."

Looking at her daughter, Sakura felt the smile fall from her face. Leave it to the child of an Uchiha prodigy and one of the best medical ninjas in Konoha to figure out things she didn't necessarily want to know. She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"I know it's been hard —"

"You know that he's not coming back."

"Sarada, that's not fair."

"I'm just saying," the teenager shrugged, "after the first few hundred times of you trying to get him to come home for a simple dinner with his family, you'd think he'd take the hint, Mom."

"Don't be rude," Sakura warned, "your father is constantly on the move, and he always ends up in different places each day."

"Do you _really_ believe that?"

Standing up from her seat, Sakura rubbed the back of her neck and exhaled through her nose. Glancing at her daughter, she felt like she was being interrogated for a crime that she was wrongfully accused of. Although, Sarada most probably had _merit_ for talking to her this way. She just didn't like the fact that it was her teenage daughter, and not her actual husband, that she was having this conversation with, even though she owed it to the young woman to be honest.

"It doesn't _matter_ what I believe, Sarada."

"I mean," she said, "you're his wife. It kinda does."

"Well, if that's the case," Sakura replied as she walked towards the living room, "then yes. I believe him."

"Why do you put up with it?"

In the last decade or so, there was only _one_ person who had asked her this question: her own mother.

"Don't you miss him?" Sakura retorted quietly, evading the question entirely.

"He's my dad," Sarada answered honestly, looking away from her mother, "but he's never around."

At the prospect of having an absent father, Sakura felt like she was failing her only daughter, especially because she didn't know how to be there for someone that she was supposed to be raising into a fully functioning adult. A creeping sense of guilt washed over her. She had been alone when she gave birth to Sarada, because Sasuke was away on his journey of self-discovery. Her mother and Ino had been there, helping her breathe through the pain, and she remembered crying the first time Sarada opened her eyes to look at her. Sakura held her child in her arms and had promised herself that no matter what, she would do everything she could to give her a life that would help her grow into an independent, smart, young woman. It became difficult when Sarada looked this way though, when she spoke of her father with obvious restraint, like she was in fear that she was going to say something that would reveal her true feelings.

"If you're keeping things from me," Sakura whispered, "you need to know that I'd rather you tell me than you bottling it up."

"You go through a lot, already."

"It's not your job to worry about me yet."

"He's my dad, but he's also your husband."

"Sarada," Sakura breathed, "I will always give you what you need, so don't think that you have to hide anything from me."

The teenager didn't say another word but instead rested her head against her mother's shoulder. Neither of them said anything as they became lost in their own thoughts, but there was a kind of comfort that permeated the air around them. While she was growing up, Sakura was constantly criticised by her mother for not being womanly enough, or being too focused on her studies, and as she stroked Sarada's hair, she couldn't help but wonder if in some twisted way, her unhappiness in her life right now was because of who she was previously. Oftentimes when she felt this way, she knew she wasn't looking at her situation from every possible angle.

Sarada wasn't exactly _planned_, but Sakura wouldn't have had it any other way. Even if Sasuke found it difficult to come home to see them, she had decided long ago that _she_ would be the parent that would always be there for their daughter. When things became this difficult, Sakura tried to remind her that she had a father, but that he was just busy. The reality of their situation was that she knew they only had each other, at least for now. She wrapped her arm around Sarada's shoulders and kissed her hair.

"How's training been?" Sakura asked abruptly, sitting up straighter.

"Still can't trigger it," Sarada humphed, her voice exhausted.

"It takes time," the green-eyed woman reassured her, her expression emotionless.

"That's what everyone keeps saying," she replied, "but it's been a while."

Sakura thought for a moment, her lips pursed in that way they did whenever she was pensive.

"Patience is a virtue," she said finally, earning an eye roll from Sarada, "which means you just have to keep trying."

"Dad got his when he was doing the Chuunin exams."

"That's because…" Sakura started, "…he had lost a lot of people important to him prior to those exams."

Sarada hummed and stood up, grabbing her bag and bidding her mother goodnight before walking out the door and up the stairs, her feet padding against the wooden floors. Sakura sighed when she heard her bedroom door close and she rested her neck against the headrest, thinking that her daughter was even more like her husband than she realized. Standing up, she walked over to the console table where baby photos of Sarada sat, along with a photo of her and Ino and in the very back, the very first photo of Team Seven. Her fingers grazed the corners of the silver frame and she smiled when she pulled it up to take a closer look.

Her smile had been wide and fresh; innocent, even. Sasuke, on her right side, was scowling and on his head was Kakashi-sensei's hand forcing him to look _at_ the camera. Sakura chuckled when her eyes moved to her left side, to the orange-jumpsuit-wearing ninja, who _also_ wore a scowl that was directed at Sasuke. He had always been loud and boisterous, whose fighting spirit didn't match _anyone_ Sakura had ever known. Their enemies were always taken aback by the way he fought until he won, until he could fight no more, and at the memory of the war, Sakura set down the frame and walked over the window.

Green eyes settled on the lit up streets below their house, watching as the people walked by and politely nodded at each other. Crossing her arms, she moved her gaze to the tower that stood in the middle of the village, the one that she always used to run into to see Tsunade for training and for urgent meetings. Even years later, she could still see herself making her way through the building, walking in the halls with photos of their previous leaders. For every S-rank missioned that she was assigned, the first place she would visit was her master's office.

There was a light that was on, on the top floor of the building, where Sakura knew very well that the Hokage would be sometimes, late into the night. They'd be working, or in meetings, or just filing some paperwork for some missions that they were to assign the following morning. She frowned slightly at the image of a blond, short-haired man, who _still_ dressed in orange, bent over his desk signing papers and not watching the clock. The man had never been a hard worker, but ever since he was dubbed the _ultimate_ hero of the Fourth Shinobi War, he could do nothing else except live up to that title, and become a person that apparently _suited_ the title of Hokage.

Disheartened, Sakura turned away from the window and walked towards the light switch of the dining room, flipping it off. She didn't turn around as she headed for the stairs, and up to her bedroom. All she could see, even as she climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her head, was the ghost of a smile that she hadn't seen in ten years. She remembered the sound of his laugh, and hearing it so clearly in her ears made her want to punch a wall. _She_ chose this life, _she_ was the one who didn't confront him about the truth of what he felt for her. Without either of them saying a word to each other after the war, he ended up marrying the woman that was known as the "Princess". As far as Sakura knew, he didn't love her, but she still showed up to the wedding with a smile on her face and words of congratulations uttered by her tongue and lips.

Even when he was given the chance he had been waiting for, he still chose someone else.

* * *

The next morning, Sakura quickly prepared breakfast for herself and Sarada, though a slice of buttered toast in her mouth as she ran out the door wasn't exactly _breakfast_. She had left her teenage daughter at the dining table as she traversed to work with her breakfast in her mouth, her phone in one hand, and her purse in the other. Sakura had always been a very organised person, but she had her moments in which she wanted to do everything at once. If any of her coworkers pointed out her impulsive nature, she would smile and say that she felt more productive when she was doing five things at once. In the end, everyone knew that the quality of her work was exceptional, even if she scrambled to get it done.

It was about an hour before everyone had to clock in, but Sakura actually liked getting to work early so that she could get a head-start on her work. It was a habit that she carried with her from her pre-teen years until now, and her hard work was always rewarded, whether it was with a few shots of sake with her coworkers or the smiles of her patients when she finally told them that they were healthy enough to go home. Perusing through the halls, Sakura gave a warm smile to each person that passed her by until she reached the elevator that would take her to the eighth floor of the hospital, where Yuzuru was already waiting for her with a stack of documents in his arms. His expression was nervous and the closer Sakura came to him, the more she felt like she could see his fear of messing up on the job.

"What're those?" Sakura asked as she set her purse on the desk, placing a hand on her hip when she turned to face him.

"Lord Hokage's advisor — Shikamaru, was it? — came to drop off some files," Yuzuru replied, clearly struggling to keep the folders from spilling important documents, "and there were a few nurses who dropped off what looked like patient files."

"Patient files?"

"They said they're for the newly admitted patients in the east wing," he blinked and said sheepishly, "and that you asked for them."

"Wha…?" Sakura began, furrowing her brow, "but Yuzuru, I don't _go_ to the east wing. That's Lady Tsunade's job, since she's the head of the hospital. Why would the nurses say I asked for the files?"

The two stared at each other with an expression that was just as baffled as the other's. Sakura held out her hand and Yuzuru scrambled to give her the correct file, which she sifted through briefly before she sighed and set it on the corner of her desk. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and furrowed her brow.

"I mean," she began, "it's not _really_ a big deal, but it was obviously some kind of mix up."

"Oh…"

"That's not your fault, though," she smiled at the assistant who was clearly shitting himself, "but those nurses should have known better."

"Then," Yuzuru squeaked, "should I go and give these files to Lady Tsunade and send her your regards?"

"No," Sakura huffed, "I'm her student. How would it look if i sent my assistant in my stead to see my _master_? I'll go."

The air of the room was awkwardly silent as Yuzuru shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his gaze refusing to meet Sakura's. She cleared her throat and moved to her seat, but Yuzuru's called out her name sheepishly.

"Would you like me to," he stammered, "get you a cup of coffee?"

"Yuzuru," Sakura said softly, "why are you so scared?"

"Scared? What? I —"

"You really look like you're going to piss yourself any second now."

The young man, whose light brown eyes _still_ refused to look at her, cleared his throat. His hands straightened out his already prim and proper clothes and took three deep breaths before taking a step towards her and bowing his head. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"You've been my hero," he enunciated, "ever since you became Lady Tsunade's apprentice. Your role in the Fourth Shinobi War, as well as your role today in this hospital has awed me."

The woman who was commonly known for her brute strength and tenacious nature glanced around the room as though there was an audience watching. She had _no_ idea how to react.

"When I got the call to say I got this job," Yuzuru continued, "I was _floored_. To be your assistant meant that I got to work closely with you, and I never thought that would happen. So, thank you."

"What? What for?"

"For giving me this opportunity," he lifted his head and smiled, one that was so bright it made Sakura's heart soften, "and I promise from now on, I will do my best!"

She couldn't help but smile back at him, thinking that his words were clearly from the heart. It had been a while since anyone was honest with her, and the way Yuzuru's baby face seemed to become brighter after his words left his mouth was certainly inspiring. Sakura leaned back against her chair and glanced at the file before her again. Her previous assistants had been afraid of her, of course, but she had grown tired of the smiles they kept restrained whenever they were around her. It was a good thing that they usually ended up resigning due to personal reasons or because their families were moving away, because it meant she didn't have to prolong their dreaded fear of her.

It hadn't even been her idea to hire Yuzuru in the first place; she was perfectly fine with doing all her work on her own, but the insistence of Tsunade, she simply couldn't say no.

"Thank you," Sakura whispered, "that really means a lot to me."

Wordlessly, Yuzuru left the room and Sakura chuckled at his purity and the idea that he loved his job because he was working for someone he admired. Truthfully, she could relate to the high of it all: to work with or for someone that the entire shinobi world dubbed as _fearsome_ was a feat that wouldn't really match the thrill of working for someone merely because you wanted a job. It especially made more sense if there was an apprenticeship involved. That meant that you were establishing a teacher-student relationship, which, Sakura had to admit, she didn't hate.

"I didn't know how you wanted your coffee," Yuzuru said as he walked back into the room, "but I made it sweet because the nurses said you like sweet snacks."

"Good call," Sakura laughed.

"Is there anything else you need?"

"Actually," she replied, leaning forward on her desk, her expression pensive, "I have a question."

"Yes, of course!"

"Are you looking to be my disciple?"

The dark-haired man stood before her, his expression shy and his hands fumbling. He reverted back to his shy nature and darted his eyes around the room as though he could find the answer to her question written on the walls.

"How did you know?"

Sakura laughed. "I did the same thing with Lady Tsunade."

Yuzuru shifted his weight between his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. "If it's not too much trouble —"

"So you were looking for an apprenticeship."

"I had heard that Lady Tsunade was hard on you when you asked her to train _you_," he said apprehensively, "so I didn't want to cross any lines or anything."

Sakura hummed. "When I went to her and asked her to train me, Konoha was in a state of emergency. Lord Third had just been killed during the Chuunin exams…"

"By his own student."

"Right," Sakura nodded, "and there were no suitable candidates that resided in Konoha at the time. So the Seventh and one of his patrons went to look for Lady Tsunade, instead."

"Weren't you and the Seventh friends, Ms. Haruno?"

Surprised at his question, Sakura could feel the smile fall from her face. If Yuzuru noticed, her certainly didn't let on that he did. Using her hand as a cushion, she rested her chin in it and watched her assistant, trying to think of a suitable answer to give him. There were a myriad of reasons that she and Naruto stopped being friends, but none of them were reasonable enough. Their relationship had always been one to survive adversity, but there came a day when she knew he didn't see her the same way he used to, and the same held true for her. Things had changed, and not in the way that she would have thought.

"Yes," she finally said, "we were."

"Do you still talk?"

"He's the Hokage, Yuzuru," Sakura replied, "he has a lot on his plate. I doubt having a drink with an old friend is at the top of his priority list."

Her words were biting, but out of all the events that transpired in her past, Naruto was a touchy subject. She constantly saw his face on television and on billboards throughout the entire village, and because they were a modernised society that would expel the threat of war, he _seemed_ to be more relaxed. Yuzuru had shrunk back and nodded at her comment, but quickly smiled and said he would get back to work. It really wasn't his fault, because he had no way of knowing that her relationship with the Seventh Hokage was one that was sensitive. She sighed and sifted through the other files on her desk, absentmindedly reading through reports when she noticed a summons from none other than Tsunade herself.

"Hey, Yuzuru," Sakura said.

"Yeah?"

"Did any of Lady Tsunade's staff contact you before I came into the office today?"

"No, why?"

"It's nothing."

Pulling documents from her drawers as well as the ones Yuzuru gave her just five minutes ago, Sakura quickly stuffed them into an empty folder and stood up. She bade Yuzuru a 'see you soon' and walked out the door, her white lab coat swishing from side to side. The elevator was, thankfully, mostly empty at this time of day, but the people using it smiled at her out of courtesy and thanked her for her service in the war. Sakura smiled and bowed her head, but had always felt that it was a little weird that even over a decade later, people still thanked her. She frowned.

Perhaps, to her dismay, she was beginning to undermine her own actions.

When she reached the tenth floor, she took long strides and reached the door of her master's office, panting. For someone who worked at a hospital and promoted health, she sure was unfit. Sakura knocked on the door three times and waited for Shizune to open the door, a smile on her face.

"Sakura!" the older woman exclaimed, pulling her into a lung-crushing hug.

"It's been a while," Sakura managed to utter, "you've been traveling a lot lately!"

Finally, Shizune let go and held her at arms length, looking her up and down. "Well, I _am_ still a medical ninja. Thousands of people need my help."

"We're never not needed," a voice behind a desk came, whirling around to look at the two women. "Sakura, you came."

"Sorry I'm late," she began, "I only just saw the summons after Yuzuru handed me these bunch of files —"

"The ones for the patients in the east wing?"

Sakura blinked.

"Yes, exactly that. How did you —"

"I gave the order to give them to you."

"But why? With all due respect —"

"You were next in line."

"Is that why you sent me a summons?" Sakura replied, holding up the piece of paper that Tsunade had signed. "You could've just asked Yuzuru to pass on a message instead of hiding it in another file."

"She wanted it to be a surprise," Shizune replied, rolling her eyes.

"Wanted _what_ to be a surprise?"

Tsunade stood from her desk and made her way across in the room in just a few short steps, towering over Sakura. The woman was wearing heels, but it never got any less scary whenever she was facing anyone. There was a _reason_ she was, and still is, a feared Sannin. Sometimes, Sakura forgot that fact, which wasn't entirely fair, but the current era was a lot safer than it was back then. Still, Tsunade's golden eyes stared down at Sakura with anticipation.

"I want to retire."

The statement was a joke, at best, and an impulsive act, at most. Sakura raised her eyebrows and waited for her to say more, but the woman was standing her ground and waited for her student to say _something_. The green-eyed woman glanced to her senior, who also stared at her with some kind of expectance. Opening her mouth then closing it again, Sakura wasn't entirely sure what the purpose of this summons was, so she couldn't help but ask.

"What does that have to do with giving me patient files from… _oh_."

Tsunade slapped her on the back, laughing and making Sakura cough.

"That's right. I knew you'd figure it out."

"But Shizune has seniority!"

"There is no person who is more fitting than you, Sakura," the black-haired woman replied, her smile bright.

Being moved by the notion was a gross understatement on Sakura's part, but she was still certain that she was dreaming, even as Tsunade held out a necklace that had some kind of key on its chain. Without a word, she clasped it onto Sakura's neck and let it hang, admiring it against Sakura's shirt. She smiled and placed a hand on the other's shoulder, her eyes determined.

"I know you can do this," Tsunade beamed, "you were _trained_ for this."

"It's a huge responsibility," Sakura replied hesitantly, "and who's to say I'm ready for something like this?"

"We didn't choose you on a whim," Tsunade said casually as she turned around and walked back towards her desk, "we actually ran it by the Seventh."

Sakura's eyebrows shot up at the statement, an involuntary action that earned an eyebrow raise from Tsunade herself. She cleared her throat and stood up straighter, smoothing her clothes even though there were no wrinkles. _I feel like Yuzuru_, she thought to herself sheepishly. Forcing herself to calm down and to look at her master directly in the eye, she made sure her voice did not crack.

"What do you mean you ran it by him?"

"Well," Tsunade started, "as you know, all official positions in the village have to be approved by him."

"Right."

"So, when we were recommending names for him to look at to help us decide," Tsunade said as she poured herself a shot of sake from her secret stash in her desk, "he didn't really give it much thought before he said to pass the baton to you."

"Did he say why?"

"Not really," Shizune chimed in, "he just said that the obvious choice was you."

Sakura nodded and moved her gaze to the tiled floor beneath her, not knowing what to say. She wondered if she should say thank you, if she should decline it and say she didn't really want the job, or if she should pretend to be ecstatic. None of those options, she realized, sounded anything like her. She could feel the other two's eyes on her and she had to admit that she hated situations where she was put on the spot. That statement was even more true when it involved anything that praised her work ethic. She sighed.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" she said sarcastically.

"Nope," Tsunade smiled, "and you also have to tell me about your husband."

"There's nothing to tell," Sakura replied frantically, waving her hand.

"Ah," her master nodded, "so he still hasn't come home for a simple dinner with his wife and daughter."

Sakura didn't utter a word as her senior and her master continued to offer their words of support, should she ever need a helping hand in raising her child or with anything money-related. She bowed and said her thanks, giving each of them a big, monster hug before they reminded her to stop by more often to say hello, especially since she was now the head of anything medicine-related in Konoha. Walking out of the room almost felt like a fresh breath of air, but Sakura understood that her responsibilities have now become heavier, and that she would have to alter her daily routine just a bit. She huffed and walked slowly towards the elevator, giving herself time to think.

In her coat pocket, she felt her phone vibrate and begrudgingly, as she got into the elevator, she pulled it out and was surprised to see that it was from Ino. She blinked twice before she actually read it, wondering what prompted her old friend to want to have drinks.

_Just wanted to catch up with everyone!_

Sakura bit her lip. She knew that if she declined, like she _had_ been for the last couple of years, Ino would flat out ask her what was wrong, which would make the nature of the night out to turn into a therapy session for her. _Obviously_, that was something Sakura had absolutely no intention of doing. Affirming that she would show up at their favorite _yakiniku_ place, she took a deep breath as she passed through the hallways back to her office, suddenly aware of the fact that she _owned_ all this now. In a way. Not entirely, of course.

"Ms. Haruno!" Yuzuru exclaimed when she came through the door frame, "You were gone a while. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, don't worry," she replied as she sat down at her desk, "Lady Tsunade simply promoted me, that's all."

"That's fantastic news!"

"Thank you for your kindness," Sakura chuckled, "but I'm not entirely confident in the choice she made."

"You'll do great," the young man beamed, "there's a reason she chose you, after all."

_Technically, Naruto chose me_, she thought bitterly.

"Do you want to come with me to celebrate?"

"I would love to, if it's not too much trouble."

"It'll just be me and a bunch of the girls," Sakura said, "but we all haven't gotten together in a while, so I'm sure they'll be okay with having a new friend."

"I'd be honored, Ms. Haruno!"

At his enthusiasm, Sakura couldn't help but feel her spirits lifted as she sifted through more piles of work. They were going to weigh more now, and the choices she made were going to have more of an effect than she was used to. Even though there were a number of people that believed in her, as far as she was concerned, that number was _small_. She would wake up earlier than she usually did now, and she would make breakfast much quicker now and leave it in the fridge for Sarada to take when she woke up. Things would be harder, more tiring, but at the very least, she would be making more money so that maybe, she didn't have to rely on Sasuke anymore.

The thought made her tired.

* * *

With Yuzuru sitting at his desk and doing his own work, Sakura found it surprisingly easy to go through the following week's documents and deciding which issues took priority, despite the fact that she had been entirely too nervous to take on the job in the first place. The Chuunin exams had already passed and she made notations in her calendar to help the ones who had sustained minor to mild injuries. There was not a single name of a child that had suffered a major injury, much to Sakura's ultimate relief. There were quite a few names on the list, which, to her recollection, was very realistic. Now that she was in charge, she had the power to hire new staff as well as a new administration that would help her make the hustle and bustle of the hospital even more efficient. She was good at that: coming up with new ways to make her life, as well as others' lives, a lot easier.

Of course, that fact had its flaws and limitations. Sakura cleared her throat and checked the time.

6:53PM.

"We should leave in seven minutes," Sakura said to the young man absentmindedly, who was about to make a phone call on her behalf.

"Sure," he replied, "but do we have to be there at a certain time?"

"They said 7:30PM. I should've pushed for later, but that's okay."

Yuzuru's voice was enthusiastic as he made his phone calls, bright and bubbly, and Sakura couldn't help but think that the role of her assistant suited him _very_ well. That meant everyone she knew would love him, which would be a plus for both of them. He would have more friends to hang out with, and she could actually forge a strong bond with the guy instead of worry about him being too afraid of her. She watched him as he wrote down notes on a sticky note and stuck them to the whiteboard beside his desk, his expression anxious.

"Everything okay?" she teased.

"Huh?" he blinked, "Yeah, just trying not to mess up your schedule."

"You're still in your first week. You'll learn."

He scoffed playfully and mostly ignored her for the next few minutes before he clapped his hands to signal that he was done for the day. Sakura nodded and slung her purse over her shoulder and stacked her papers like she always did at the end of the day. They walked towards the exit and punched their work cards out, the sound of the small machine giving Sakura a sense of relief and satisfaction that she didn't quite understand. Yuzuru walked beside her in silence, checking his watch every now and then, but never uttering a word.

"Do you have to be somewhere the night your boss asked you to come out with her the first time?" she joked.

"What?" Yuzuru said, his tone surprised, "No! But I think I have to make a quick run to the drug store."

"Do you want me to wait for you?"

"No," he smiled, waving his hands, "I'll meet you there!"

Without so much as another word, Yuzuru ran off — surprisingly quickly, too — in the direction of the drug store that was in the opposite direction of the bar. Sakura shook her head, sighed, and continued walking towards the Hokage tower. She stuffed her hands in her pockets as she looked at the building before her, remembering when she would run through the building with Naruto, dragging him by the ear to receive orders from Tsunade. She smiled softly at the memory and couldn't help but think about how _crazy_ it was that the person sitting at the Hokage's desk was no longer Tsunade, or Kakashi-sensei, but it was her very own teammate.

The one whose dream she had so badly wanted to protect.

Sakura knew that the both of them had committed countless mistakes that destroyed any chances of them being close again. She had braved through his wedding with a big smile, just as he did hers, and she pretended that she didn't know he was so unconditionally, so irrevocably in love with her for so many years. The reason for that was mainly because right after the war, he started spending a lot of time with Hinata. She was also not an idiot, and could read between the lines well enough to know if someone didn't really want her around. If she thought about it from all angles, _she_ also didn't really make the effort to tell him about her feelings, either.

At the end of the day, both she and Naruto lost.

In regards to being honest with each other, anyway.

The blue banner with the white kanji of Ichiraku came into her view. Lit from the inside with lanterns, the stall was filled with quite a few customers, despite being such a small stall. As she came closer to it, she could hear loud laughter and smiled, happy to know that there were so many people who could safely have fun. Her eyes moved to the banner above the stall and she remembered when it wasn't very well-known, when it was dingy and made deliveries to people that were too lazy or too busy to leave their homes. Through it all, she could see Naruto's warm, smiling face, and she felt a knick in her heart at the image, like she saw something she wasn't supposed to see.

Shaking her head of her reverie, she kept walking, when amongst the dark blue and silver scheme of Ichiraku, she saw a flash of orange move about and duck out of the stall. It moved for only a few seconds, but then it stopped right before her, unmoving. Her feet were glued to the ground and she could see that _his_ were, too.

It was silent for a good five minutes before she cleared her throat, making an attempt to tell him that she needed to get going, without actually saying a word. Thickheaded as he always was, he wasn't budging and kept standing before her, perhaps too afraid to let anything leave his mouth in the form of words. Slowly, Sakura averted her eyes upwards to look at his face, his tired, worn out face, and felt a pang of guilt when he half-smiled at her. It wasn't genuine, like it used to be. The bags around his eyes were deep, proof that he hadn't gotten much sleep in a _very_ long time, and the blue that used to be as deep as the seas were now dull. He opened his mouth.

"Yo," Naruto spoke, his tone apologetic, "it's been a while."

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	2. Lapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caught up in guilt and conflicting feelings, Sakura has a chance meeting with a teammate she hasn’t seen in a decade. As she meets her old friends and introduces her assistant to them, her best friend questions her on her choices. Everything seems to be okay, and she should be celebrating her promotion, but there are dark clouds gathering on the horizon…

Nostalgia, she was always told, was a filthy liar, that loved to convince its victims that their lives were better the way they used to be. As Sakura grew into a woman she never thought she'd be, she held onto this principle as though it was the only thing she knew, like it was the only thing that would save her from making stupid mistakes that would cost her her life. At times, it worked, like when she was forced to face a missing nin whom she had known when she was a genin, or when she could, without hesitation, evaluate a situation in which she could reap the most benefits. She was constantly praised for her level of intellect, for her tenacity when working to make modern medicine the best version that it could be. As everyone knew, she was the kind of person who calculated the outcome of her decisions without the illusion of nostalgia breathing down her neck.

She had been wrong about Sasuke, who left her for twelves years — and counting — in order to redeem himself and repent for his sins. The lonely nights she spent in their bedroom, looking out at the dark sky, reminded her that even _she_ was human enough to make mistakes. At times, her misfortunes came in the form of misfiled reports at the hospital, or in the form of words that left her mouth and came out as harsh or insensitive. Whenever her eyes moved over to the photo frames throughout the house, she knew that this was one of the few times that nostalgia successfully lied to her face about, promising her happiness when she secretly _knew_ that it was all a mirage.

Truthfully, she thought that life would be kinder to her from that point on.

Yet, nostalgia, along with coincidence, had manifested itself into the blond that stood before her, his dull, tired, blue eyes staring at her as though he was looking at something that had fooled _him_, too.

"Yo," Naruto breathed, "it's been a while."

Sakura blinked once, then twice, then allowed a half-assed smile to spread across her lips.

"Yeah," she chuckled nervously, "I think it's been more than a decade."

"Fifteen years."

"Oh."

"How are you?"

"Good, good! Just on the way to meet the girls," she responded, her eyes darting to what looked like Yuzuru, making a face behind Naruto as his jaw seemed to drop.

"Heard you got a promotion."

At the word, Sakura's mind snapped back to earlier that day when she had faced her master and her senior, whose expressions were filled with an exuberance that she was certain seemed misplaced. Maybe it was the fact that it was _her_, which showed that she had worked impossibly hard to get to where she currently was in her life. Still, knowing that _he_ hadn't questioned placing her in a prestigious career position — and even going so far as to insinuate that she was the only perfect person for the job — made it somewhat surreal. Especially because Naruto was acting like he heard the news through word of mouth, and not like he greased the wheels a little bit.

"Yeah," she answered, "but, I'm going to get wrinkles from all this worrying."

"Why?"

"I don't know if I'm up for it."

"Why wouldn't you be?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"I guess," Sakura retorted, "it's because I'm so used to having Lady Tsunade in charge, that I feel like, maybe this isn't my job, because it's _hers_."

As though wracked with some kind of understanding, the corners of Naruto's lips drooped into a small frown. _Typical_, Sakura thought to herself, thinking that it was _just_ like him, to have to have her spell something out for him. Of course, he was no idiot, and he knew how to read people's feelings, but at times, she always felt like he expected too much of her. It had always been that way, and if she was being completely honest, the only reason that she was able to come so far was because her master was by her side, and he was, too — being her own personal cheerleader.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit, y'know," Naruto chuckled, "and I think you have to stop being so hard on yourself."

"If I'm not, who will be?"

"No one _has_ to be, Sakura-cha—"

With an abrupt halt, Naruto's sentence cut off and he was left to stare at her as though she had _done_ something to him. Sakura blinked several times, unsure of what to say, of what to _do_, at the fact that he had almost naturally called her by his nickname for her. He was the _only_ one who ever called her that, and they both knew it. After all, it had been more than decade since he last addressed her. Clearing his throat, he averted his eyes to his shoes and stuffed his hands in his pockets, a universal sign that he suddenly felt awkward.

"I heard," Sakura piped up, attempting to change the subject, "that you actually had a part in deciding who would be the new medical expert in Konoha."

He chuckled, the sound ringing in her ears and reminding her of the time she and Sasuke fed him their lunches (courtesy of Kakashi) while he was tied to a wooden log out of punishment. She could feel her inner self smile.

"It seemed like the obvious choice."

"Who, me?"

"There were a few other people that Granny told me to check out."

"And why not them?"

"I feel safer knowing that you'll be the one people see when they're hurt."

Crossing her arms, Sakura bit her lip, not knowing what to do with the gratitude that was infecting her heart. "Is it because you know me the best, out of all those people?"

"No," he replied easily, "but even if that was the reason, either way, I wanted you to have the job. You deserve it."

Nodding, Sakura cleared her throat and felt anxious at the sudden prospect that she didn't know _where_ to look. Was she supposed to look at his face, and risk him seeing right through her, or look at her feet so that it would be even more glaringly obvious that she was hiding _something_ from him? Was she supposed to put on that fake smile that Sai called her out on, all those years ago during the war, and attempt to mask whatever the hell it was that was supposed to stay hidden?

Unfortunately, she had grown to be such a great liar, that Naruto, who hated liars, didn't even flinch.

"I should get going," Sakura said finally, "I have to meet up with the girls and I'm going to be late."

"Yeah, of course!" he smiled, not as bright and blinding as it used to be, "Tell everyone I said hi!"

"Of course."

"Oh," Naruto said, his eyebrows raised, "we should go get a few drinks sometime soon. Catch up, y'know?"

"Sure," she let out a tiny smile, "why don't you give me a call when you're off duty?"

The blond grinned, the corners of his lips lifted like the way they used to whenever she rolled her eyes at his lunacy. With a wave and a short 'see you soon', he left her to stand in front of Ichiraku Ramen, trying to piece together the influx of information that she was forced to process. For starters, why was he _alone_? Secondly, despite the fact that they hadn't really been in contact for over a decade, she truly felt as though they were picking up right where they left off. She huffed and blinked, then forced herself to give Yuzuru a smile as he jogged towards her, his expression in awe.

"Was that the Lord Seventh?"

"Yes."

"What did you talk about?"

"Oh," Sakura laughed, "nothing, really. Just doing a five-minute catch up."

"You had a five-minute catch up with the Seventh?"

"Stop calling him that."

"That's who he is, though."

"He also has a name."

"Okay," Yuzuru sighed, "but he is _the_ Seventh Hokage."

"Your point is…?"

"Don't you ever feel in awe whenever you're around him?"

Moving her hand to rub the back of her neck, Sakura shrugged as she began to walk towards the direction of the bar, Yuzuru following closely behind her. He shot his mouth off about how incredibly heroic Naruto had been during the Fourth Shinobi War, delivering blows to Madara and Kaguya, setting an entirely new standard for shinobis to live up to. She listened intently as he rambled on in admiration, noting that Yuzuru's voice seemed to be higher when he talked about her old best friend. Her smile softened.

The question of whether or not she was in awe of him was obvious: of _course_ she was in awe. Naruto had started out as a shunned child who attended the Academy, and was the only other person (apart from Sasuke) that had no parents. Sakura remembered how at the time, that seemed like a reason to be mean to him, but the more she _talked_ to Naruto, the more she realised that he was more determined than anyone else she knew, to be the best, to be _Hokage_. Needless to say, from the moment that Team Seven fought Zabuza and Haku, to the moment they successfully eliminated Kaguya, she always _believed_ in him and his abilities.

Of _course_ she was in awe of Uzumaki Naruto.

"You said you hadn't talked to him in over a decade," Yuzuru commented absentmindedly.

"That's right."

"It seems like you were talking to him naturally."

"What do you mean?"

"Like," he hummed and his expression turned pensive, "kind of like you two just continued the friendship from where you left off."

Without responding to the assumption, Sakura continued to walk towards the bar, its sign glowing neon in the night, reading Senya. She listened to Yuzuru talk about how excited he was to meet everyone, and that he felt like the very experience of having _seen_ the Seventh was an experience not many got to feel. Smiling, Sakura reassured him that every single person of the Konoha Twelve was _normal_. Despite her words, Yuzuru's eyes continued to light up as Sakura's hand reached for the sliding door and pulled it open to reveal a table full of her oldest friends, cheering that she finally made it.

"Sakura!" Tenten waved, "You actually came!"

"Ino wouldn't let me _not_ go," Sakura chuckled as she ducked her head inside the bar, "so I had no choice."

"Like you'd pass up a free drink," Ino responded, rolling her eyes.

"I think you're mistaking her and you," Temari chimed in, her tone facetious, "since I don't think I've ever seen Sakura go nuts like _you_ have."

"_Hey_," Ino warned, "I can handle my liquor just fine."

Glancing beside her, Sakura felt the back of her throat scoff in amusement when she saw that Yuzuru's eyes were widened at the sight of the women before him. Because she was technically _part_ of this group, she didn't feel the same astonishment that the rest of the shinobi world seemed to feel whenever they came across any veteran of the Fourth Shinobi War. Trying to see herself from Yuzuru's perspective, it was conceivable that she, along with her friends, were intimidating, at the very least.

"Who's this?" Ino asked, her tone bright.

"Oh," Sakura breathed, "this is my new assistant, Yuzuru. I invited him out tonight."

She watched as Yuzuru bowed in that way that was becoming all too familiar to her, even after just a few days of knowing him, and she felt a sense of belonging that she hadn't felt in the years that she tried to hide herself away from the people she loved most. Her friends fawned over him like he was a puppy and they pat him on the back as they invited him to sit beside them. With a shy smile on his face, he sat between Ino and Temari and almost seemed to fit in with them seamlessly.

Clearing her throat, Sakura moved to the other side of Ino when out of the corner of her eye, she saw one more person walking towards the table. Her eyes moved to look and at the sight of the Hyuuga heir, her heart sank. Regardless, she forced the corners of her mouth to lift into the widest smile, to which the woman bowed her head in that meek manner she always did.

"Hinata!" Sakura chimed, "It's been so long!"

The wide, lavender eyes that gazed upon her were soft as they had always been, and they squinted when she smiled and breathed words in her quiet voice. The green-eyed woman tilted her head and rested her chin in her palm when she sat down, right across from the woman whose husband was the Seventh Hokage. They had never been close, but on the day of his wedding, she had plastered on that fake smile that a certain ANBU member knew very well, and congratulated them on their new life together, wishing them eternal happiness.

Except, she had felt the bitterness poisoning her throat as the words left her lips.

"How is everything?" Hinata asked as she took a sip of her beer, her face already flushed.

"Things are alright," she replied casually, "Sarada has been training by herself a lot lately."

"It must be difficult without Sasuke at home."

"I manage."

"Naruto hasn't been spending a lot of time at home, either," Hinata lamented, moving her eyes to the food before her, "and I even asked him if he could come back earlier at times, but…"

"That's what happens when you marry important people," Temari commented, "but you know that he will always come home."

The corners of Hinata's lips twitched, almost looking like a frown. "I guess that's true."

"Did you ask him to come back early tonight?" Ino asked.

"Of course, I left the house tonight," Hinata responded sheepishly, "so it doesn't make sense to make him come home." Her eyes glanced at Sakura quickly before her hands reached for the plate of gyoza. "I don't want to burden him."

A prickling sense of uneasiness filled Sakura's throat at Hinata's words, remembering that not even half an hour ago, she had _seen_ the Seventh Hokage at his favorite ramen stall, and he even managed to _talk_ with her for a few minutes. Picking up her pint of beer, she hastily chugged half of it down her throat and made a face at the bitterness on her tongue, like it was forcing her to replay their encounter in her head. A wave of relief washed over her when Hinata finally seemed to notice that Yuzuru was present, and she proceeded to get to know him, laughing politely at his jokes. Quietly, Sakura cleared her throat.

"So," she began, "I'm taking Yuzuru under my wing."

The young man grinned and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, as though Sakura's words were something that suddenly made him feel shy. Ino was particularly impressed, while Temari downed another pint of beer and nodded approvingly, her brow furrowed in that way that made Sakura _wonder_ if she was being facetious. While the rest of the women asked him questions, Sakura discreetly ordered another beer and felt an unsettling sense of guilt settle into the pits of her stomach.

Still, changing the subject wasn't going to erase the fact that she had just seen the man that Hinata was talking about so sadly. She cleared her throat quietly and picked up an edamame, chewing tentatively before she realised Hinata asked her a question.

"Does Sarada ever open up to you?"

"What?" Sakura blinked. "I mean, she's a teenager, and we've all had our fair share of rebellion."

The entire table laughed as though she had told a horrendously inappropriate joke, but Hinata merely lifted the corners of her mouth into a tiny smile — one that was possibly (most likely) fake. Evidently, as the chatter went on amongst the others, Sakura couldn't help but think that she never _truly_ felt close to the Hyuuga heiress. Of course, that meant that she actually had to have an incessant persistence until the woman opened up to her, but truthfully, ever since the war ended, she didn't feel the _need_ to make so much effort, especially because if Hinata really wanted to be friends with her, she would have said something herself.

No matter how she tried to pin the blame on someone else, Sakura couldn't shake the fact that _she_ was the coward.

"Ms. Haruno is very hardworking," Sakura heard Yuzuru say with admiration, "and when I was younger, I aspired to be as kind as she was."

"Ms. Haruno?" Ino chimed, shooting a glance at the pink-haired woman, "You _do_ know—"

"_Ino_," Tenten responded, an edge in her voice.

"…Oh," Yuzuru mumbled, "I didn't know that… it was a mistake, I'm—"

"I _asked_ him to call me that."

"You spend your whole life," Ino scoffed, "loving someone and waiting for him to come home to you, and you're so ungrateful of the fact that he made you his _wife_, that you still tell people to call you by your maiden name?"

"Hey—" Temari scolded.

"_Ms. Haruno_ clearly isn't the person I thought she'd be."

"What's your deal?" Sakura scoffed, "Me asking _my_ assistant and _my_ apprentice to call me by a certain name has nothing to do with you."

The blue-eyed woman blinked, then set down her pint. "I'm just disappointed in you, Sakura."

"For wh—"

"That was uncalled for, Mrs. Yamanaka," Yuzuru said, his voice low, almost like a growl.

While the rest of the bar bustled with the sounds of glasses clinking and of people's laughter as they became intoxicated, the excitement that Sakura had thought she would feel once she saw her friends again dissipated completely into the air above her, burning and fizzling as it hit the light above their heads. She fingered the rim of her pint and bit her lip as Tenten laughed nervously, making a clear attempt to diffuse the tension.

Sakura _loved_ Ino, she really did. When things became too difficult for her, back before she had even married Sasuke, she was one of the first people that she'd run to. The grew up experiencing a rivalry that blossomed beautifully into a friendship where they lifted each other up, but nonexistent differences became apparent after the Uchiha came back to Konoha. The medical ninja cleared her throat and began to stand.

"You're leaving?" Hinata asked, her papery voice small as it always was.

"I have to get home," she responded coldly, "I'm worried about Sarada."

"I can walk you home?" Yuzuru offered, placing a hand on his knee.

"No," Sakura smiled brightly, "you stay here and enjoy a few more drinks."

"But—"

"That's an order from your master," Sakura joked, earning a nervous laugh from the guy, and a sympathetic look from both Tenten and Temari.

None of the people sitting at the table said another word as Sakura grabbed her coat and slipped into it, a migraine already making its way into the back of her head. Slipping her feet into her shoes, she waved a final goodbye as she stepped out of Senya, heading towards the suburban area, which was surprisingly filled with more people meandering the streets. She pulled her phone out of her bag and saw that there were two missed calls from her daughter, who was probably at home, hungry and alone.

Guilt was an emotion that she constantly experienced throughout the last decade, so much that she remembered the taste of it in the bottom of her stomach, or on the tip of her tongue. Even more unfortunately, it was not limited to her daughter, but it also extended to the friends she once held so dear.

* * *

Sarada had been fast asleep when Sakura came through the front door, her favorite book in hand with her tired body sprawled across the couch.

The TV had been left on that was now playing the late-night news, but the pink-haired woman knew that her teenage daughter had probably been watching one of her old favorite cartoons right before she began to snooze. Because of who her parents were, Sarada was always seen as the person who _couldn't_ screw up, because of the genes she was blessed with. That level of scrutiny placed a high level of pressure on her thin shoulders, which Sakura could relate to very well. It _was_ her daughter, after all.

After draping a blanket over her, Sakura tenaciously prepared for her business trip to Suna, looking through notes of the mission she was assigned, yawning every three paragraphs or so. It wasn't like Naruto to write these long reports filled with information, but they were older now. They were all doing jobs that they weren't doing before and becoming different people than they thought they would be.

Sakura heard Sarada sigh in her sleep, rolling over to bury her face under the blanket.

Blinking, the pink-haired woman pulled out her computer, pressing the start-up button and glancing at the curtains she still hadn't drawn. Her short nails tapped against the mousepad and she cleared her throat when her desktop finally loaded. She swiftly opened the letter icon, loading ten new messages from a few of her subordinates, one of them being from Yuzuru, about the meeting that they were scheduled to have with the Fifth Kazekage the next day.

"Why is he sending emails now?" Sakura mumbled to herself, "He should still be out."

Glancing at the clock, she knew it was still too early for anyone without a family to be home, so that probably meant that all her friends had left Senya and had gone home to their respective families. As though taunting her, her brain kept nagging her about seeing Hinata earlier. The woman looked _tired_ and even wore the same expression of uncertainty that she wore, no matter how expertly she thought she was hiding it. Sakura sighed and leaned back against her chair, letting her neck to roll back so she could look up at the ceiling that she _still_ hadn't managed to completely clean when she had free time.

_It's not easy to live in a home where you're doing everything yourself_.

She knew this fact to be true.

She knew that it was a feat that wasn't easy to overcome.

Being a mother — and being a wife — without the support of a husband being at home, was one of the most difficult tasks that women were branded with, as soon as they got married. While it was tradition for men to provide for the family, it was also their obligation to make sure that their wives didn't carry the burden of raising a family by themselves. Sakura was not an idiot, and she liked to believe that Hinata wasn't, either.

The only thing that seemed to _really_ bother her was that Naruto's absence from home didn't seem to be like his character, at all. Having a Kage position meant that you were consistently busy, but Sakura knew better than anyone that sometimes, when people didn't like dealing with their home lives, they would provide themselves with an 'escape' in the form of their never-ending piles of paperwork. She was guilty of this, and it wasn't entirely ludicrous to think that Naruto was, too.

The rest of the night dwindled into an atmosphere that felt like loneliness, and Sakura could swear that as her eyes fluttered shut, she could hear the soft sighs of the winds rustling through the trees. Like a lullaby, it lulled her to sleep at the dining table, her phone in hand.

Sarada was already out of the house when Sakura woke up just a few hours later, but there was a cup of green tea set before her that was still hot. Yawning and rubbing her eyes, Sakura checked the time and let a heavy sigh leave her, feeling as though she didn't have enough room to breathe. Her phone, which was charging at the wall near the TV, began to buzz with texts from Yuzuru. The pink-haired woman scratched her head as she groggily made her way to the device, scrunching her brow in disdain.

_I hope you're awake_, her assistant and apprentice wrote, _we don't want to make the Fifth Kazekage waiting!_

Shaking her head, Sakura typed out a quick reply and made her way to the bathroom, making a mental note to do some spring cleaning once she wasn't so goddamn busy. She was used to meeting up with the different Kage from all across different countries, and with new developing areas becoming more stable economically and politically, she was beginning to have more of an important role than she realised she had.

It used to be that _Tsunade_ was the one who would go away on trips several times a month, receiving a summons _at least_ every other week or so. Sometimes she sent Shizune in her stead, and other times, it was Sakura. If she was being completely honest, it wasn't the meetings that made her feel inadequate, because it was apparent that she knew what she was doing. What made her anxious was that _she_ was in charge now, and she truly felt that everyone knowing her name was bad enough. To have her name be renowned _and_ to take Tsunade's place made her chest feel heavy.

Even as she brushed her teeth, even as she descended the stairs and drank the tea her daughter made for her, and even as she locked the front door on her way out to the office, she couldn't help but think, yet again, that she was incapable of being as legendary as her master. Sakura had grown up swallowing her feelings, and it was ironic that the one time she was technically _allowed_ to express herself, she felt the need to put up walls even more than she did before.

As she walked into the hospital, her phone buzzed again.

_Safe travels! _it read_, Haven't seen you in a while. Need to catch up._

She smiled and stuffed her phone back in her coat, knowing the last time she saw the Fifth Kazekage was at her wedding. He had, of course, been a charming party guest, and had attracted the attention of quite a few of the young women who resided in Konoha. Gaara was as much her friend as he was Naruto's, and in more ways than one, she was glad that at least one thing in her life stayed the same and gave her a sense of familiarity that she knew wouldn't just dissipate as she got older.

"Oh," Yuzuru uttered, startled when Sakura walked into the office, "you're here."

"You told me to hurry."

"Not that you should _hurry_…"

"Well," Sakura replied as she set her purse on her table, placing a hand on her hip as she raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm here now. You ready to head out?"

The journey, thanks to newer methods of transportation, only took about half a day as opposed to the three it _used_ to take.

From inside their trailer, Sakura noticed that Yuzuru's eyes kept glancing at her, as though he was biting his tongue and forcing it not to say what was on his mind. An exasperated sigh left her lips and she tilted her head as she stared at him, silently asking him what was wrong.

"About last night—"

"What about it?"

"You kind of… left in a hurry."

"Yes… and?"

Yuzuru shifted his wet from one butt cheek to the other, then crossed and uncrossed his legs, his eyes always looking at the floor. He cleared his throat, the sound nervous.

"Mrs. Yamanaka didn't—"

"I appreciate you looking out for me," Sakura interrupted, "but Ino and I have always had that kind of relationship."

"What," he replied, "her giving you backhanded insults about your life?"

"That's not—"

"Call it what you want, Ms. Haruno," the young man sighed, "but I didn't think she had a right to say any of that, and as you noticed, the rest agreed with me."

The pink-haired woman didn't utter a word as her apprentice flipped through pages of the file he was holding, his neck craned so that she couldn't meet his eyes. She leaned her head against the back of her seat and moved her gaze to outside her window, her eyes soothed by all the green around them. Taking a deep breath, she turned to look back at Yuzuru, who still hadn't looked up from the file he was holding.

"Ino taught me to be boisterous."

He looked up, but his mouth didn't move. Sakura allowed a sad smile to spread across her lips.

"I always used to be really insecure about the size of my forehead," she continued, touching the Yin seal there, "and she was the first person who taught me that insecurities can be used as your strength."

"Then," Yuzuru whispered, "doesn't it hurt when she talks to you like that?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you—"

"You wouldn't understand," Sakura shook her head, her expression complacent, "it's just become one of those things about us. There's no question to it, really."

"Don't you want to solve it?"

She looked out the window again. "There are a lot of things I want to solve, Yuzuru," she uttered, "but it can't all be done at once."

It was silent for the rest of the ride and neither person bothered to diffuse the tension in the air that could have been cut with a knife. On some level, Sakura knew that he was right about Ino, but at the same time, he didn't know any of the things that any of the Konoha Twelve had to deal with to get to the point they were all at in their current lives. Ino had been one of the first to console Sakura when Sasuke left Konoha, but it was very possible she was getting sick of it. Even _Sakura_ was getting sick of it, of her situation, and the fact that she knew she wouldn't do anything about it.

It was close to teatime when they finally arrived in the Land of Wind, and Gaara was patiently waiting for them in his office with a smile on his face.

"You made it," he said, his eyes kinder than the last time Sakura saw him, "do you two want a drink or food?"

"Don't go through any trouble!" Sakura exclaimed, "We can always eat later!"

"What kind of Kage would I be if I didn't offer my guests some good hospitality?"

Sakura chuckled politely, suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she was sitting across from the Fifth Kazekage. She _definitely_ felt like Yuzuru, who was, to no one's surprise, fidgeting with the fabric of his shirt. He might as well have been sweating through his armpits, and the thought of that made Sakura want to laugh out loud. Gaara quietly motioned for Baki, his council, to sit down, then he cleared his throat and furrowed his brow.

"You know why you're here, don't you, Sakura?"

"Yes. I read the case file."

"We didn't want to burden you," Gaara sighed, "but considering that this involves experimentation with the Hashirama Cell—"

"I know," Sakura nodded, "there's no one else more well-acquainted with the phenomenon than Konoha."

"So far, there's only been two cases in Suna," the redhead hummed as he pulled out a different file from his desk, "but there are rumours about other cases in the Land of Water, and the Land of Earth."

"Regarding the Hashirama Cell?"

"That," he replied, "and Jinchuurikis."

Sakura blinked once, then twice, and she could feel her mouth refuse to form words that could begin to _question_ what the hell he meant by Jinchuurikis. She cleared her throat and furrowed her brow, and all the while Gaara was watching her, his own expression pensive and wary. Finally, the person who spoke up was Yuzuru.

"The era of Jinchuurikis died out as the Fourth Shinobi War ended," he mumbled, "so why is it an issue again, in _this_ era?"

"That's the thing," Gaara remarked, "as soon as the notion that Jinchuurikis were no longer _needed_, it seemed that there are some rogues out there who want to relive that era."

"What's the purpose?" Sakura asked.

"Anarchy?" the Kage shrugged, then sighed, "I don't know, but whoever it is that is _doing_ these experiments, they clearly have a taste for chaos that I thought dissipated with our teachers' generation."

"Who are the two cases?"

Gaara's eyes moved to her face and they were suddenly filled with a weight that Sakura could feel being placed onto her shoulders. He pressed his lips to his knuckles and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Even before he opened his mouth, she already knew that he was going to say that the victims were _children_, who were barely older than Sarada, or Inojin, or Chouchou. She leaned back into her seat, her heart feeling even more heavy with the knowledge that some psycho out there was conducting experiments on kids who barely lived yet.

"How are they holding up?" Yuzuru breathed.

"Hard to say," Baki finally spoke, "both those kids have been in a coma since it was reported."

"How long has it been?"

"Over two weeks."

"_What?!_" Sakura exclaimed incredulously, "If they're subdued for that long, then that means—"

"Their vitals are still functioning for the timebeing," Baki nodded, "but it's raising questions among the medics, since their bodies don't seem to be rejecting the Cell, either."

The pink-haired woman pinched the bridge of her nose and furrowed her brow, a wild sense of frustration filling every limb and every crevice of her body, not knowing where to _start_ to untangle the web of complications. Not only were rogue ninjas becoming more daring and attempting to tip the balance of political peace, but they were experimenting their theories and agendas on innocent children. She felt her blood boil for just a few seconds before she took a deep, calming breath, through her nose, and exhaled through her mouth. Sakura opened her eyes to find that the three men were staring at her, their expressions wary.

"What kind of tests is the medic team doing? Are these kids in the Academy?"

"They are," Gaara affirmed, "and so far, the only thing being monitored is their chakra reserve, to make sure that their bodies aren't taking damage that they can't handle."

"So far," Sakura hummed, "was there ever talk of any danger of these kids not being able to handle it?"

"Thankfully, no," Baki responded, "but we can't expect that to be a safe zone for too long."

"Especially since it was such a disaster last time…" Yuzuru mumbled.

"It'd be dangerous to wait for results from these cases alone," Gaara pointed out, "so it's better to start investigating these rumours that we've been hearing, and hopefully we can track down whoever is trying to create Hell."

As Baki and Yuzuru spoke in hushed whispers and sifted through some files, Sakura stood up and followed Gaara to the bookcase in the corner of his office. Quietly, his fingers grazed the hardcovers of several books on the shelf before his eyes lit up at a title that he had been looking for. Pulling it off the shelf, he blew on the cover and a small amount of dust flew into the air, tickling Sakura's nose.

"You should take this," he said, handing her the hardbound book, "I think it's a good idea to be overly informed."

"What's this?"

"A book about Jinchuurikis," Gaara responded, "the science behind it, the history behind it, and a bunch of other things that you'd definitely want to know if you're working this case in the dark."

"So it's S-ranked."

"Of course. So the people don't get worried."

"Right."

"Obviously," Gaara uttered, "these kids… they can't be called Jinchuurikis, because of what the technical term _defines_ as being a Jinchuuriki."

"But that doesn't mean they aren't in danger of being put through something just as burdening."

Sakura sighed, the weight on her shoulders making her lungs feel uneasy. While there were going to be other people working on the case in secret — like she was —she couldn't help but feel that if things didn't go well, it could potentially be very dangerous for every subsequent Village. She glanced at Yuzuru, whose expression was baffled and wary, a spitting image of what _she_ was like when she followed Lady Tsunade during medical missions.

"Other than these investigations," Gaara spoke, "how have you been?"

"Mostly good," Sakura smiled, "things have been… hectic."

"You've always been busy," he chuckled, "and you always worked hard. I remember Naruto telling me that."

"He told you that?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

Sakura sighed.

"Ever since we both got married," she began, "we kind of… grew apart."

The Kazekage nodded and pursed his lips, his expression sympathetic. He didn't say another word, even as Yuzuru and Baki continued to sift through different files for more information. His silence made Sakura feel as though she was sitting on the edge of her seat, because she _knew_ that he was a generally well-read person. It was possible that he could see right through her bullshit.

"Do you still talk to him?" he asked suddenly, his eyes glued to the view outside his window.

"The last time I spoke to him," she replied, "was when Lady Tsunade gave me this promotion."

"Of course."

"What about you?" she asked, "He kind of _was_ your first friend, no?"

"It's hard to talk sometimes," Gaara admitted, "but that's because we're both so busy with our own work. I still try to write him when I can, though, and I always get an answer eventually."

"Eventually?"

He chuckled. "Being the renowned Uzumaki Naruto doesn't exactly give him time to attend to _everyone_ he knows."

At his words, Sakura slowly nodded, wondering if her and Naruto drifting apart was actually a valid claim. She had known him for a long time, and knew that if he cared, he would _make_ time, and ever since he started his own family, his priorities had changed. Of course, that was only to be expected, as even Sakura's priorities became different than what they used to be all those years ago. Yuzuru's gaze moved to her face when Gaara began to move back to his seat, and his expression held a wariness that pulled the pink-haired woman back to Earth, reminding her that she was promoted by Lady Tsunade and the Seventh Hokage for a _reason_:

She was the _best_ at working until her fingers bled, to make sure that everyone was safe.

The trips from Suna back to Konoha were always long, but they rarely _felt_ so long that it consisted of Sakura chewing on her bottom lip out of anxiety over work that demanded minimal error, although that was somewhat of a specialty for her. While she was always a diligent and responsible worker, that description of character was going to change, what with her taking Lady Tsunade's place. With a compulsiveness that felt eerily similar to obsession, she flipped through the book Gaara gave her.

Across from her, a sleeping Yuzuru leaned his head against the back of his seat, his features soft and seemingly innocent. It was evident that the kid was loyal and would be willing to throw himself into a bone pit for his master, which wasn't entirely unfamiliar to the Uchiha matriarch. She remembered idolising Lady Tsunade, too. She remembered her bones and limbs hurting _because_ of that admiration, too. Sakura smirked and averted her eyes back to the book she had opened, reading up on the phenomena of the Jinchuuriki, and how the manifestation of such shinobis became an incredibly delicate political matter as the world she grew up in developed.

_Gaara was a Jinchuuriki_, she thought to herself, _and his life was in as much danger as Naruto's was._

The book she yielded was research heavy and seemingly historically charged, but that knowledge was based on the idea that such horrifying events had _transpired_ and had numerous outcomes that affected the everyday lives of everyone else. Her eyes fell upon the tale of Otsutsuki Hagoromo, Uzumaki Mito, and the other names of those that she had heard about from her teachers, from the civilians she had spoken with as she passed through towns while on S-class missions. At the thought that such a powerful being was what she and her teammates fought more than a decade ago, she felt the lingerings of war take their toll on her limbs, making her remember how hopeless everything had seemed.

Treating Jinchuurikis' health was no small feat, and this was a fact that she remembered well.

Naruto's heart had stopped beating.

She had felt her own heart begin to fall out of her chest back then, but like Naruto, she refused to give up and pumped his heart until he gasped for air.

Of course, the powers of a Jinchuuriki was no longer a well-kept secret amongst the different Villages. If anything, _anyone_ had access to knowing the actual power of a shinobi whose soul was combined with a Tailed Beast. There was no doubt that whoever was conducting human experimentation with the Hashirama Cell would have known a very important fact:

A Jinchuuriki was an _incredibly_ formidable weapon.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	3. Fragments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the shocking revelation that someone is trying to create Jinchuriki again, Sakura is wracked with worry and sleepless nights. Sarada disobeying Sakura does not help matters, and surprisingly her old teammate can relate. A startling connection emerges between the victims of the mysterious deaths, one that hits too close to home.

It had been too many years since she sparred with anyone, and even longer since she had moved her fists and her feet in twists and turns in a kind of dance. She never believed it before, but she was always told that the body remembers, even when you don't. In every part of her body, she felt her chakra flow reach the tips of her fingers, the palms of her hands, and the fists she made as she looked before her at the two people whose knitted brows were furrowed in concentration. With just a surge through her body, she _remembered_. Just like the days she was training with Tsunade, she felt an air of determination. Only this time, _she_ was the teacher.

Sakura sucked in a breath and released it through her nose.

Speed was of the essence for a shinobi. The quicker you were, the more formidable you were, as was the philosophy that was made legendary by The Yellow Flash. Sakura threw herself forward, gathering chakra in her fists as she first aimed at Yuzuru. Neither person saw her, neither person _felt_ her, until her knuckles knocked him in the stomach, sending him flying backwards towards a tree bark. Her head snapped towards her daughter, whose eyes were wide and fearful as she picked up a kunai.

_It's not like she didn't know I fight hard_, Sakura bemused.

Reflexes as quick as lightning, she dodged Sarada's weapon with ease. Her eyes focused on the sharp point and at the right opportunity, she twisted her daughter's wrist and turned the odds in her favor. Suddenly, _she_ was in control. Her hard-hitting punches made her well-deserving of the title "Second Tsunade". The earth-shattering punches that she threw at Yuzuru were different than the ones she threw at Sarada, and not just because she was her daughter, but because there was no _real_ urgency in teaching her. There was no war, there were no political conflicts, and if there were, then she'd be teaching her from A to Z.

Yuzuru, who collided into the tree barks far too many times for him to count, now stood with quivering legs. His knuckles had bleeding scrapes and he wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist, eyes lit with resolution. Snapping his hands into the first seal, he moved his fingers in a blur before closing his eyes and taking in a sharp breath. He sprinted towards Sakura with a furrowed brow and Sakura could see the chakra flow to his fist. _Good_, she thought to herself, _he's learning quickly_.

Turning her shoulder, she dodged the forward strike that sent him flying forward. The sheer crash of his body hitting the earth was like a shuddering earthquake. The birds sitting in the trees flew off, the branches beneath them quivering with their departure. Off to a corner, the young Uchiha stood, bewildered. With widened eyes, Sarada observed the scene before her, as Yuzuru wheezed and dusted the dirt off his shirt. Her dark eyes followed the ridged edges of the cracked earth, all leading back to her mother who stood with a devilish grin painted across her lips.

"Quitting?" the pink-haired woman hollered.

Suddenly, Sarada was just as determined as Yuzuru was to give her all.

Taking a few steps forward, Yuzuru glimpsed at the girl beside him, more than just a little impressed at her ability to hold her own against her mother. His eyes moved from her face to the figure that stood at a distance, and he felt the ideas in his head percolate.

"Sarada," he said, his voice low, "listen carefully. We're gonna go in opposite directions, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because we're going to catch Ms. Haruno by surprise."

The girl blinked and beamed.

"You're gonna go from behind," he said, all the while keeping his eyes on his _shishou_, "and I'll attack from the front. I'll go ahead first, so that her focus is shifted to me."

Sarada nodded and straightened her back, ready to move at his signal. Sakura, who had been watching them the entire time, lifted her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. Pushing one foot into the ground to for momentum, Yuzuru charged at the woman before them, whose eyes were less amused, and more calculating. She watched his feet move as though she had memorized his movements, her expression unbothered. Just as he was about to come into contact with her, he spotted Sarada right behind her, twisting her fingers, signaling a fire jutsu.

"Wait, Sarada-chan-!" Yuzuru exclaimed as he shoved Sakura out of the way.

"Wha-" his _shishou_ responded as her body hit the floor, her head hitting the base of the tree next to her. Sakura moved a hand to rub at the bulge she could now feel, then turned to look at the horrific sight before her.

Before her eyes, Sarada had already began to suck in a breath to blow fire out of her mouth. Yuzuru, who was about to be caught in the fire, was half a second too late in forming his seals, and just as he gathered his chakra to counter the attack, Sakura pushed herself off the ground and threw her body at her daughter. The two hit the ground with a loud thud, and the green-eyed woman writhed beside a wide-eyed Sarada, her hand accidentally seared with a second-degree burn. The girl froze as she watched her mother beside her, sweat gathering at her forehead in pain. Yuzuru shouted as he ran over.

"Ms. Haruno!" he cried out. "Show me your hand!"

"No," she huffed, "this isn't that bad."

"You got _burnt_!"

"I can heal this, it's no big-"

"Don't you dare tell me-"

"_Yuzuru_," Sakura roared, her eyes filled with an anger as hot as an Uchiha fire, "_I'm fine!_"

Staggered, he took a step back and rested his hands at his sides. Both of the trainees stayed dead silent as Sakura sat up and winced. Gathering chakra, she brought her left hand over her right and expended her iryō ninjutsu, the burn marks slowly being remedied. A grimace was still plastered on her face, touching the eyebags that had been accumulating for weeks, folding itself into her corners of her mouth, where fake smiles had been etched her entire life. She felt her energy being drained with each burn that went away, and in the end, she let out a sigh, clicking her tongue when she found her right hand was still partially burnt.

"Mom, I didn't… I wasn't meaning to-"

"Sarada."

Sakura was facing away from her daughter, who still sat on the forest floor, petrified.

"What did I tell you about using that jutsu?"

A long silence followed her question and the woman felt her jaw clench. Growing irritated, she whirled around to get a good look at her daughter, whose eyes had filled with tears.

"_Sarada_," she shouted, "_what did I_-"

"You said not to use it," the dark-haired girl answered, her voice small, "because I wasn't ready to."

Seeing Sarada hang her head low didn't make her so much angry as it made her feel hurt. As she was raising her daughter, she had told her time and time again that while the Uchihas had been proud of their ability to manipulate their fire jutsus, it was incredibly difficult to control it. She remembered a time when she had seen Sasuke practicing with his older brother Itachi, continuously burning his arms by accident. Even then, he would come back the next day to train harder, bandages on his arms as he continued to make seals with his hands and blow fire from his mouth. Still, she frowned, because it wasn't just the fact that the Uchihas had an immense desire to be good at what they did, but it was the fact that their lack of control could hurt the people they loved.

She had a permanent scar here and there to prove it.

"Then why?" she asked quietly, feeling a little more calm.

"It was my fault," Yuzuru spoke, his own voice quiet, "we were trying to come up with a plan to attack you."

"That's well and fine," Sakura sighed, "but you don't have to take the blame, Yuzuru. It's clear to me that my daughter has been practising this technique in secret."

At her words, Sarada turned her head, further avoiding her mother's gaze. Surely, she was ashamed of herself and was even mortified that her mother had been able to tell that she was training and refining that technique in secret. Of course, what ninja as talented as her mother wouldn't be able to figure it out? Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose and took in a sharp breath, her brow furrowed. She was struggling to find a word that matched the emotion she was feeling as she tried to think of something to say. Betrayed was too strong, but hurt was too weak. Perhaps something in the middle was the most accurate thing to what she felt.

"I wanted to be good," Sarada breathed, "because you said Dad was good."

In all honesty, she wasn't surprised, but it didn't mean that the knick in her heart she felt a moment ago wasn't real. Crouching to sit across her, Sakura moved to push back a lock of hair behind her daughter's ear. Offering a smile, she reassured Sarada that it was okay to open up.

"He was," Sakura affirmed, "and you will be too, one day. But not right now."

"Why not?"

"You have all the time in the world to be a good shinobi," she said, "but I want you to be safe."

"I can't be better if I'm safe," she uttered, "and if I'm safe, then I can't be good enough."

Sakura blinked, confused. Yuzuru stood behind her, his own twisted expression of confusion written on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Wouldn't he want to come home if he knows his daughter is more like him?" Sarada said, her voice exhausted.

"Do you mean… that you want to be more like him?"

The teenager didn't utter a word but with the slightest movement of her head, she nodded. _That_ put things into perspective for Sakura and an abundance of things that she could say were at the tip of her tongue. She turned around to glance at Yuzuru, as though asking him what he thought, but the man stood there, just as perplexed as she was. She sighed, but she was sure that no matter how many times she did, it never felt like she had enough room in her lungs.

"Sarada," she started, "he didn't leave because of you, and that was never why he left."

"Then why did he leave?"

"He had his own things to deal with," she said honestly, "and some of those things required him to leave."

"Did you try stopping him?"

"I did."

"Then why didn't he listen?"

"It's not that-"

Abruptly, Sakura stopped talking and listened in the air for the caw of a hawk that was soaring towards them. All three of them looked up and the pink-haired woman slowly lifted herself off the ground with Yuzuru holding her arm as she stood. Holding out her left arm - the one that didn't have the burn wound - the bird perched itself. Excitedly, Sarada stood up, her eyes bright. Her father's signature messenger hawk was one of the few things that gave her genuine content, but it was quickly wiped from her face when Sakura shook her head no, and she moved to untie the paper attached to its leg before sending it off again.

"It's not from Dad?"

"No," she shook her head, "I want you to go home."

"What? Why?"

"We'll talk later. I have some things to attend to."

"More important than family matters?"

Sakura shot her a look. "Sarada, that's not fair."

"What you're doing is unfair-"

"Go. Home. _Now_."

They glared at each other for a few seconds before Sarada scoffed and shook her head. Glancing at Yuzuru, she nodded at him and turned the other way, leaping into the trees and jumping from branch to branch, finding the quickest route home. Watching her, Sakura felt uneasiness brew over her and the dread that she felt in the air certainly wasn't just her own emotions. She couldn't help but think about what to say and had already started to come up with a few ways to start her lecture until she heard Yuzuru clear his throat.

"That was… uh…" he said, clearly feeling more than a little bit awkward.

"I'm sorry," Sakura said wearily, "she gets like that whenever her dad is brought up."

"What teenager whose dad isn't around wouldn't?"

He gave her a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. Although she appreciated it, that sense of dread did not disappear. Unravelling the rolled up paper in her hand, she felt an incredible sense of anxiety wash over her that it must have been showing on her face. Yuzuru took one step forward, his expression concerned.

"Is everything okay?"

Her eyes read the paper before her about three times, recognizing the handwriting and the way it wrote her name. Inhaling through her nose and closing her eyes, she nodded. Suddenly, in her head, she was thinking of all the disconnected and scattered information that she had been gathering for the past two weeks, wondering if any of them would be sufficient to present to the Lord Seventh as evidence, even if it were minimal.

"Yes," she breathed, folding the paper and putting it in her pocket, "but I have to go." Her feet began walking east, where Konoha was located beyond the forests.

"Go where?"

"The Hokage's office."

Yuzuru blinked and she knew that that in itself was a question. Sakura laughed, although there wasn't much humor in it.

"He summoned me."

* * *

The path that led to the Hokage's office hadn't changed by much in the last decade, except that the photo frames of the Hokages had been replaced. The wood looked newer, cleaner, and Sakura smiled as her eyes fell upon Tsunade's, Kakashi's, and Naruto's faces. She had always been in awe of these three people that were in her life, always wishing that she had been more like them. As she passed by their photos and approached the door she used to walk into so often, she tightened the bandage around her right hand. She stared at the wood and took three deep breaths before raising her hand to knock. A few were shuffles were heard before the door was opened, revealing Shikamaru who gave her an awkward smile.

"Lord Seventh is expecting you," he said, ushering her inside the office.

Once she stepped inside, she saw Naruto at the windows behind his desk, looking over the village below. His hitai-ate was slung over his chair and his hands were behind his back. Sakura eyed his bandaged right hand, suddenly remembering how terrified she had been that day when she thought she lost two of the most important people in her life. She took a few steps closer, placing herself at a distance that was halfway between his desk and the door. Nervous, she glued her arms to her side and cleared her throat.

"I received your summons, Lord Seventh," she said diplomatically.

The man before her, whose orange color clothing scheme had always secretly made her wish she had taken him shopping at least once, didn't even flinch. She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt and thought that maybe he was deep in thought. When Sakura turned her head to look for Shikamaru, she saw that he was nowhere to be seen and had actually missed that as soon as she entered the doorway, he left it, leaving the two old friends alone. She sighed.

"Lord Seventh?"

Still, no answer. Her temper was being tested.

"_Naruto_!" she shouted, irked.

The Hokage chuckled before turning around, an amused expression on his face. "I haven't heard you call me like that in so long."

She felt a jolt in her veins, as though trying to wake her from a reverie. Naturally, she had accidentally blurted out his name the way she used to - a habit that she had long tried to forget. Even as he turned around to give her a smile, she stood her ground and kept her arms by her side. Truth be told, she hated the way she tensed up whenever she heard his name or had to face him this way. Still, being a shinobi, and being a medical ninja that was taking Tsunade's place, was her job.

Reeling herself back in, she straightened her back. "I assume you wanted an update."

"Sure," he nodded, sitting back in his chair, "what do you got?"

"I haven't been able to go out and investigate myself yet," she started, "but from what I've gathered so far, it seems that it's not just children who are being targeted."

"Who else?"

"While most of the victims are children, there's a small percentage who are full-grown adults."

Naruto let out a heavy breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Anything they have in common?"

"So far, nothing," she answered honestly, "but the interesting kicker is that the older ones aren't civilians."

"They're shinobi?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't call me that," the Seventh Hokage muttered, his voice low. To Sakura, he even seemed a little bit annoyed.

"Do you have any more orders?" she asked, pretending as though she hadn't heard him.

"It's not really an order," he replied, watching her face carefully, "but I want you to let me know if you need any extra help. Do you have enough?"

"I have Katsuyu."

At the nostalgic name of her summoning animal, Naruto chuckled and nodded. Taking the action as her signal to leave, Sakura turned her heel and began heading for the door when he called her name, the same way that he used to call her. _Jerk_, she thought to herself, but a small part of her knew that she was just a big as jerk as she was making him out to be. Hesitantly, she turned around to face him, her posture way too good for someone that was chatting with an old friend.

"I saw Sarada-chan training the other day."

"You did?" Sakura's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Was she uh…?"

"Good?" he laughed. "Of course - look who her parents are."

She offered a soft smile, not really feeling the pull at the edge of her lips, after having experienced her daughter's upsetting secret that she was perfecting a technique she was told not to. "What was she doing?"

"Practising the Fire Ball jutsu - the one Sasuke used to use all the time."

At his confirmation, she felt her shoulders slump. Even _Naruto_ knew that her daughter had been practising. To be fair, he had no idea that Sakura had forbade it in her home, telling her that she wasn't ready for a jutsu of that magnitude. Subconsciously, she moved her bandaged hand behind her back in an attempt to keep it hidden, though she knew he had already seen it. He was, after all, a shinobi, like she was. There was no point in hiding something that was so blatantly obvious.

"Is that why your hand is bandaged?" he asked after a minute of silence.

"It was an accident."

"That's not what I asked."

Truth be told, one of the things that she secretly both hated and loved about him was his persistence to know everything about the people he held dear. They no longer spent time together, but from the moment she walked into his office, she knew that it was akin to her walking back into his life. She averted her eyes to the side and let that be her answer, and when she heard him sigh, she turned back to look at him, putting her bandaged hand by her side. His blue eyes followed the small action and allowed his lips to give the slightest frown.

"Kids will be kids," she said, feigning humor. Naruto chuckled posthumously. "How's Boruto?"

"Everyone,' he surmised, "says that he reminds them of me."

"I guess it goes without saying," the pinkhead snickered, "like father like son, huh?"

The Hokage smiled then sighed. His laughter lines had sunk into his face, making him seem as though he was tired of even laughing. He had always dreamed of being Hokage and was well-deserving of the title for all the hard work that he had put in to ensure he achieved his dream. Nonetheless, if he was completely and utterly content with his life, the atmosphere in his office would not have turned cold and melancholy when he looked at her. Just as Sakura was about to open her mouth, Naruto chuckled.

"Was I like that when I was his age?" he asked, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Though he tried to laugh and smile, she could see the weariness in his eyes at the mention of his son. Sakura wasn't sure what to make of his emotion that was slapped across his face, but it was certainly one that came from some kind of strained relationship. She could relate.

"At first, yeah," she declared.

"Wh-"

"But then," she continued, "after a while, every time I looked at you, I wanted to believe in you."

Was this dangerous territory? Maybe.

Did Sakura care? No, because she wasn't even aware that the eyes of the man she knew had been in love with her widened by a fraction, as though she had given him the sweetest drink of water after having been in the desert for a month. What she had uttered was the truth, and she knew for a fact that acknowledgement was an incredibly important thing to him. It was the reason that they became friends, and it was the reason that she felt she had a responsibility to protect his dream until the very end. She offered a smile.

"Don't worry about him so much," she reassured, "he'll grow up to be just fine."

"I hope you're right."

"Look who his dad is," she replied, using the same line he had used on her. "Anyway, I think I'm gonna head out. I will report to you directly when I find new information."

Before he could say another word, Sakura bowed and headed for the door, not bothering to wait for him to scold her for treating him as anything other than a friend. The halls that led to the public area seemed much wider now, and she felt as though something was shifting. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but the only thing she knew for certain was a fact that she stubbornly would not admit out loud. As she exited the building and began heading back to her office to grab her things, her thoughts kept going to the Seventh Hokage, whose genuine, bright smile had stayed with her after all these years.

As she looked up at the sunset of another autumn day, she suddenly remembered that some things didn't change.

* * *

Ever since she was given this assignment, she wasn't getting enough sleep. There were nights where she knocked back about four cups of coffee before her hands started trembling from too much caffeine, and she would have no choice but to rest. One of the things Sakura hated the most was being limited. She had always been the type of person to give it her all, even if it compromised her health a little bit. After the war, Ino had always lectured her that she needed to be kinder to herself, especially since there was no war to work hard for anymore. Of course, Sakura had brushed her off and continued working as hard as she always had, helping Tsunade and pulling all-nighters. Now that she had taken over, her old habits were far from disappearing.

It was only about 11:00PM, but she was already brewing coffee and waiting for her teenage daughter who hadn't returned home, even though she had asked her to go home earlier after their training.

She clicked her tongue.

Reaching across the dining table, she reached for her cell phone and called Sarada for the third time in the last thirty minutes, unsurprised that once again, it went straight to voicemail. She let out a sharp breath and shook her head, refocusing her attention to the documents that lay before her regarding proposals regarding the hospital and the Ministry of Health of Konoha. Tsunade had had a very difficult job, and Sakura would be damned if she couldn't do just as well as her shishou. It seemed that every time she managed to get through several mountains of documents, there would be a couple new ones on her desk that Yuzuru had set there. She couldn't help but wonder when it was appropriate to change offices.

In the back of her mind, she pondered her mother's ability to not worry about her when she was out past a certain time. She glanced at the clock on the wall before her and sighed.

Without a doubt, she was an incredibly restless woman.

With patience that was wafer thin, she stood up and bit at the skin of her thumb, drawing blood. She performed the hand seals and pressed her palm to the the floor, watching as her chakra formed a ring that eventually summoned a smaller version of the usually ginormous blue and white slug. Katsuyu gasped, clearly more than a little surprised.

"Sakura-sama!" she exclaimed. "It's so rare of you to summon me at this hour."

"I wanted to know if you had more information on the investigation," the pinkhead replied, allowing the slug to climb up her arm. She walked back to the dining table and sat down, setting Katsuyu on the table while absentmindedly reminding herself to clean the table later.

"I'm still looking," the creature replied, "but there is one thing I think you need to know, Sakura-sama."

"What is it?"

"These shinobi…" Katsuyu said, a tone of caution in her voice, "...they're not just normal shinobi."

"What are they, then?"

"They all possess strong chakra."

"Even the children?"

"Especially the children."

Sakura hesitated, an uneasy stomach piling in the pit of her stomach. "That means they can't control their own chakra."

"Yes," Katsuyu affirmed, "it's very much like children who were Jinchuuriki."

An image of Naruto's face flashed across her mind. She sighed. "Their chakra reserves can't be the only thing that categorizes them as a target."

"It's not," the slug confirmed, "but I am unsure if you are ready to hear the rest."

Sakura blinked. "Please, Katsuyu. I have to know."

The animal hesitated, twisting her antennas side by side before she seemed to come to a decision. "Sakura-sama, all of the people that have been captured so far…"

"Yes?"

"They all have a _kekkei gengkai_."

At that moment, Sakura could have sworn that her veins turned to ice. Katsuyu didn't utter a word as she processed the newfound information, causing her to stand up and pace back and forth in the space between the dining room and the kitchen - which admittedly, wasn't that much. Of _course_ it made sense for the criminal to use people who had large chakra reserves, and particularly children or generally younger targets who had less control over their techniques. It was rare in the modern world for children with a _kekkei gengkai_ to know exactly what they were doing, as that always required precise chakra use and execution. Sakura took a deep breath and looked over at Katsuyu, who still had not said a word.

"Thank you, Katsuyu," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-sama."

"It's not your fault," she shook her head and lifted her hands to release the jutsu, "I'll summon you again soon."

"Take care," the slug replied, her voice heavy with remorse.

As Sakura sat down again, knowing that she was going to have a headache the rest of the night, she heard the jingle of keys at the front door that was a telltale sign that her daughter was now home, and was very deliberately not answering her calls. She stood up again and walked towards the living room, facing the door that Sarada had no choice but to go through if she wanted to make it upstairs. The dark-haired teen came through the doorway quietly without noticing her mother standing behind her as she closed the door, livid as ever.

"Where have _you_ been?" Sakura growled, her patience the visual of a Pocky stick breaking in half.

"_Mom_," Sarada answered as she turned around, clearly startled and was quickly becoming terrified, "I was, uh. I was… out. All day."

"Where?"

"Just. Out."

"Uchiha Sarada," Sakura spat, "you _better_ have not been practising that technique after what happened today."

"I w-wasn't!" she stammered.

"Can you imagine," the pinkhead shouted, "that the _Hokage_ knew what the hell you were doing, but I didn't?"

"What…?"

"Don't think that just because you have Uchiha blood running through your veins," Sakura warned, "that you can do whatever you want. _Especially_ practising dangerous jutsus behind my back. I did _not_ raise you to be entitled."

"I wasn't _being_ entitled-"

"You may not see it that way, but when have you ever listened to me when it comes to things like this?"

"I just want to be a better ninja - what's _wrong_ with that?" Sarada argued.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a better ninja," the pinkhead reassured, "but there _is_ something wrong with trying to teach yourself a jutsu without having someone to guide you."

"Who's gonna guide me? My _father_?" the teenager spat back, her words making Sakura taste venom in her own throat.

The bite of their voices had left an echoing tension that rendered Sakura speechless. Her daughter stood before her, who resembled both Sasuke and herself so much, that she felt a sense of loss that she was unable to explain. One half of her daughter was missing, and _had_ been missing, for fourteen years now. Her words had been direct, had cut through Sakura so easily, that she clenched her jaw in an attempt to keep it together.

"You know what," she enunciated, "you are _so_. _Unfair_."

"_Me_? What about you, Mom? Yelling at me like it's all my fault!"

"I never _said_ it was your fault," Sakura argued, "all I asked was for you to not practice that technique, because you are simply not ready for a jutsu of that magnitude!"

"How do you know that?" Sarada whispered, her tone exhausted.

"Because the only reason your father perfected it at such a young age was because _he had no choice_." The teenager stared at her mother, her dark eyes that had been filled with anger, now filled with shock. "You have no control, Sarada. You don't have a proper teacher to teach you all that, and I can only do so much."

"So, have someone teach me! I can learn with Kakashi-sensei!"

"That's not the point, Sarada."

"So what _is_ the point, Mom?"

There was an obvious, blatant reason that Sakura was not giving her teenage daughter a reason as to why it was important to her that she not practice that technique. It was considered a simple one amongst the other more difficult ones that Sasuke had mastered, but it was still an advanced move for a shinobi her age. It required a lot of discipline, a lot of chakra control, and a good teacher. Of course, having Kakashi guide Sarada - even for just the beginning - was no problem. The _real_ problem laid in the fact that she was an Uchiha through and through, and with the investigation that she was conducting, Sakura couldn't risk her daughter being in danger. She was already a target, even without activating her Sharingan. Sakura sighed.

"Someday," she whispered, "you'll understand."

"You never tell me anything," Sarada replied, feigning a smile as tears filled her eyes, "you're always keeping secrets from me, acting like you're protecting me."

"Sarada-"

"Leave me alone," the teenager breathed as she turned towards the stairs, the sound of her feet thumping against the wooden floors. She was careful not to slam her door, but Sakura could hear the click of her pushing the lock in its place, and just as suddenly as the fight had started, the room suddenly became still. The pinkhead groaned and rubbed her temples.

Perhaps, when she was a lot older, she would be able to understand Sarada more. She was always told that teenagers were incredibly difficult to raise, mostly because they were beginning to discover things about themselves that helped to shape who they were to become as adults. On one hand, she understood her daughter's frustration, but on the other hand, her mind was racing and her heart was pounding at the prospect that she _still_ did not have enough information. Heading back to the dining table, she reached for her cell phone and quickly scrolled through her contacts - past Hinata's name, past Ino's name - all the way down to the bottom of her contact list. She waited, listening to the dial tone and took a deep breath when a deep voice answered.

"_You're calling late. I was about to sleep._"

"I need a huge favor."

"_Something you have to run by the Lord Seventh?_"

"No," Sakura admitted, "but I can't wait for his approval. This is urgent."

"_What do you need?_"

"Information," she breathed, "and I need as much as you can give me, as quickly as you can. Is that okay?"

"_Yes. Anything for an old friend._"

"Okay," Sakura exhaled, eyeing the clock, whose ticking seemed louder than usual, "I'm counting on you, Sai."

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	4. Dissemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Content warning**: This chapter contains description of an autopsy, in which a victim’s internal organs are discussed. There is nothing too graphic, but if this kind of stuff makes you squeamish, please be careful.
> 
> Along with the information Sakura requested, Sai has bad news: their mysterious enemy has killed another person, and dropped them near Konoha’s border. An autopsy reveals information, and a valuable detail- a detail that sets off an intimate moment between Sakura and her ex-teammate.

The following morning had been quiet, almost peaceful. Even as Sakura used her scalpel to carefully cut through skin and conduct her second autopsy of the day, she could not feel more energized. She was absolutely in her element, just like Tsunade and Shizune had been. She had always looked on and helped at crucial moments, and vaguely thought about people not-so-secretly calling her the Second Tsunade. Of course, other factors came into play: Sakura was living as an adult in a world without war being waged on them. For the most part, the autopsies she conducted were more research-based, as opposed to law-based, like the ones that her _shishou_ and _senpai_ often did. Swiping at the sweat on her brow, Sakura blinked, her vision becoming blurry.

"Ms. Haruno, perhaps you should take a break." Yuzuru uttered, his tone concerned. "You didn't take a break between these two autopsies."

"We need to find _something_ to fill the research files."

"But pushing yourself when you're tired won't do you any good."

"Okay," Sakura sighed behind her surgical mask, "I _promise_ I'll take a break after we're done with this one. Okay?"

Yuzuru made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like vague agreement, but he didn't say another word. They had been working on the few bodies that were recovered for the mission, looking for causes of death and finding different ones each time. Two or three bodies had been declared as death by long-lasting poison, while only one was death by an explosive jutsu - both of which were incredibly graphic and violent ways to die, but on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of how long it took. It seemed to Sakura that whoever was conducting these experiments had an undecided pattern, and was extremely temperamental. Whoever was on the receiving end of their tantrums were either _very_ lucky, or _un_lucky as hell.

Sakura did not share the same phobia of blood that her _shishou_ had, but she _did_ get faint if she was exposed to the smell for too long. With a gloved hand, she pointed at the internal organ that she had worked to expose, signaling Yuzuru to take a look. His brown eyes widened in shock, though being in this line of work was going to desensitize him eventually. At least, Sakura hoped so.

"See that? The lining on the stomach there?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"That means our victim was poisoned."

Yuzuru's wide eyes welled with an emotion similar to regret. "Do we know what poison it is?"

"Thankfully, yes," Sakura breathed, "but… the problem is curing these people with antidotes before it's too late."

A low, hesitant rumble resounded in the back of his throat. "How do we know the antidotes work, then?"

"The composition is something I've seen before," she answered as she started cleaning up, handing her tools for him to wash and zipping up the body bag for it to be put away, "with just a few tweaks. It wasn't too hard."

"Has it _ever_ been hard for you?" he rolled his eyes. Even with his surgical mask on, Sakura could imagine the way his mouth twisted whenever he was teasing. She chuckled.

"At some point in my life," she joked, "but it seems so far away now."

They carefully placed the body back in its place before cleaning up everything else and removed their gloves. Yuzuru was silent as he washed his hands beside her, a knit in his brow that meant he was deep in thought. Sakura cleared her throat as she wiped her hands on a paper towel next to the sink. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"If the smell of blood is too much-"

"I'm your apprentice, aren't I?" he said with his teeth gritted. "What good would I be if I couldn't handle it?"

"Lady Tsunade couldn't handle it," Sakura mused, "so don't worry about it."

There were a few heartbeats of silence before Yuzuru opened his mouth, his voice barely audible. "No. That's not it."

"Then what is it?" she questioned as she led him to the room situated outside that overlooked the surgery room. "I understand this upsets you-"

"_No!_" he exclaimed, "You _don't_."

A piercing silence settled between the two, Sakura's eyes wide with surprise; Yuzuru's with a great sadness. He cleared his throat, seeming to correct himself.

"I'm just… angry."

"Clearly." Sakura sat in a chair and gestured for him to sit across her, but he bit his lip, guilt written all over his face.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know," Sakura reassured, "just have a seat. It's been an eventful morning."

"All we did were autopsies."

"They can get pretty tiring."

After about a minute of contemplation, Yuzuru finally sat down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, cupping his head in his hands. Sakura hadn't forgotten how shaken she was the first time she was assigned an S-ranked mission, but just the sight of her student caused her throat to close up, as though she was sixteen again, traveling for her first S-ranked mission without her _shishou_ to save the Fifth Kazekage. She had been a _ch__ū__nin_ at that point in her life, but she was still getting used to how physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding S-ranked missions were. For what it was worth, she knew exactly how Yuzuru felt.

"All those innocent people," he breathed, "and with _kekkei gengkai_? It's so…"

"Cruel?" Sakura offered.

"Yes," he uttered in reply, a sigh at the end, "they don't deserve this."

"That's why we're doing research," the pink-haired woman surmised, "so that we can understand this situation better and report it to the Seventh. That's why we were given this mission."

Her disciple quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't call him the Seventh."

She gave him a sad smile. "I often forget that he's just… Naruto. My teammate. It's sometimes unbelievable that he's sitting up in the Hokage Tower, living out his dream."

"Are you living out yours?"

Raising her eyebrows in surprise that he would think to ask her that, she looked at him as though he had made her have an epiphany. "I've achieved my long-time dream of protecting people. Of course I am."

"But is that the only thing you ever dreamed of?"

Taking in a deep breath, she regarded him with caution. Not that she _needed_ to exorcise that action since he was her disciple, but Sakura had always been the type of person who attempted to mask her feelings, and was sometimes very bad at it. It was pretty obvious to her that he would learn to read her emotions quicker than she had anticipated. "How old are you again?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Nineteen."

Her expression turned into a distortion of incredulousness. "_What_? You're nineteen and you didn't decline drinking with me at Senya the other night?!"

Chuckling, Yuzuru waved his hand at her, as though telling her not to worry about it. "I turn twenty in a few weeks."

"Still," she said hesitantly, "it's not your birthday yet."

A silence ensued between them as Yuzuru leaned back against his seat and closed his eyes. His eye bags were growing deeper with each week, but Sakura had made sure that their training was not so intensive that he was _this_ exhausted. Her own training with Tsunade hadn't been so physically demanding that she was losing sleep. In fact, she had _finally_ been getting more of it. "Are you training by yourself in secret?"

He opened one eye to look at her. "What? No."

"Are you getting enough sleep, then?"

"Not lately."

"Why not?"

"I'm studying."

Sakura blinked. "You're not supposed to push yourself so much."

"How will I get better if I don't?"

His answer surprised her, though it probably shouldn't have. Maybe it was the fact that she was also stubborn when she was training under her _shishou_, or maybe it was because Sarada had said the same thing to her last night. Whatever the reason, it was certainly no coincidence that she was starting to see herself in him. Her face softened but she smiled, making her best attempt at being encouraging.

"Getting better doesn't mean doing things that could put your health at risk," she said softly, "otherwise, you'll get hurt."

At her words, Yuzuru's mouth curved into a slight frown, his brow furrowed. Surely, it was almost naïve of Sakura to think that he wouldn't be able to notice when she was feigning contentedness. She was one of the most formidable kunoichi in the era after the Fourth Shinobi War, sure, which meant that she was an expert at hiding her true emotions and true motives, but there were lapses in time where she couldn't help but let a little sadness leak out. It was only natural. As she stood up to walk towards the water cooler, Yuzuru cleared his throat.

"How's Sarada-chan doing?" he inquired softly.

"As good as you can expect," she replied as she grabbed another paper cup for him, "which is barely."

"She's not talking to you?"

"No. I'd be angry, but I know why she's acting out."

"I don't have much experience in this," he mused, "but I have a younger sister, and when she lashes out, I just give her space."

His words didn't have time to sink in, as the door that led into the hospital hall opened, revealing Sai's masked face that he wore around her only as a formality. Sakura stood up and took slow steps towards him, the atmosphere in the room growing tense. As she approached him, he removed his mask and pushed it to the top of his head, revealing a forlorn expression that would never have existed when she first met him more than a decade ago. "Report," she said curtly, still unused to being in a position of authority.

"I know you wanted me to gather information first," Sai said cautiously, "but I had to tell Lord Seventh first, before I came here."

A dreaded feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She gulped. "What happened?"

Sai winced, then gestured for her to follow him outside. In the hallway stood two of his ANBU agents, whose masks had stayed intact. Between them was what appeared to be some kind of tarp that wrapped something small, compared to the two adults that stood on opposite sides of it. Sakura felt her fingers start to tremble as she looked at Sai, waiting for some kind of explanation, and when it didn't come, she parted her lips to let out a derisive chuckle. "You're kidding, right?"

"We were doing our daily patrol."

"And then what happened?" she replied, crouching down closer, hand close to the tarp. "Did you find any information?"

"Yes," Sai affirmed, "I brought this here for a reason."

"And what reason is that?"

"Lord Seventh's orders."

Sakura clenched her jaw. "Which were?"

"For your investigative purposes."

"Sai," Sakura said cautiously, "what's going on?"

The pale man did not utter a word and watched Sakura reach to open the tarp. She felt her heart thumping as she unwrapped it, revealing a sight that still shocked her, no matter how many times she saw it.

"We found her near the border," Sai said solemnly, "but it was too late."

Before Sakura's eyes laid a girl who was barely a few years younger than Sarada, who had died with her eyes open in horror and desperation. At the back of her throat, she felt an intense lump build up as she reached forward and gently closed the little girl's lids, and made note of the fact that her skin was translucent enough that she could see her veins. _She must have died a slow death_, Sakura thought to herself, feeling the tears brim her eyes before she sniffled and blinked them away. Standing up, she looked towards Yuzuru, whose horrified expression wasn't making the situation any better.

"Take her to the autopsy room," Sakura whispered, "I'll meet you there in a minute."

Her words gave Sai a cue to dismiss his agents, who left after bowing and heading out, silence filling the halls except for the sound of their sandals walking away. Sakura placed her hands in the pockets of her lab coat, running her mostly healed hand through her hair. She bit her lip as Sai approached her. It had been a while since they faced each other like this, but she was reminded of how intense his job was, and how sometimes, it brought more bad news than good. She cleared her throat.

"Are you mad?" he asked.

"No," she shrugged, "the first person you answer to, in any case, is Naruto."

"I just had to do my job."

"I know," she sighed, "but right now, what I'm worried about is what the _hell_ I just saw."

"We were shocked too," Sai replied, a lack of emotion in his voice but written perfectly in his dark eyes, "even though ANBU trains my agents to show no emotion, I couldn't help but notice it as they were wrapping up the body."

"She looked so young."

"She was."

"Why was her body found so close to the border, anyway?"

"The most obvious answer would be-"

"-to get Konoha's attention." Sakura let out a sharp sigh, her emotions in disarray. "I guess now, I do _my_ job."

The two adults stared at each other, very clearly anxious with the prospect that someone was working extra hard to cause tension and chaos. With each passing day, and with each time that she felt she didn't have enough information to find the person who was committing such heinous acts, Sakura was growing weary. Although the war had ended so many years ago, she felt as though she was on the brink of a new one. Unless it was stopped right at the source, she would continue conducting autopsies, trying to understand something that would end up being further and further away from her grasp.

"Don't stress yourself so much," Sai said in that familiar soft tone, "you know that this was out of your control."

"I know," she agreed, "but it's still _murder_, Sai. No matter how hard we close our eyes." After a short pause, she looked at him, spearmint eyes filled with fervor. "I'll do whatever it takes, I swear. These people won't have died for nothing."

"I believe you."

Sakura didn't say another word to Sai as she walked back into the surgical room, pulling latex gloves onto her hands and placing her mask over her nose and mouth, automatically back in her element. Her hand reached for the girl's hair and stroked it, silently promising herself that she would try her absolute best at completing this mission. Her brow furrowed as she started by lightly touching the protruding veins all over the girl's body.

Sai, who stood outside the window, watched as his old teammate - the girl who taught him about real and fake smiles - worked tirelessly and passionately, determination and perseverance at her side. He smiled to himself and left her to her work, thinking vaguely that the Seventh Hokage must have felt so proud of the woman he loved.

* * *

The internal examination took longer than either Sakura or Yuzuru anticipated. While the external examination merely took a few minutes, it was the girl's internal organs that were so puzzling that even Sakura was having a difficult time trying to conclude what the cause of death was. There was only one thing that Sakura was absolutely certain of: the girl's veins had been corrupted in some way.

"What're we gonna do?" Yuzuru asked worriedly.

"Her other organs are infected, too."

"But it's not poison."

"No."

"Then… what?"

Sakura thought for a moment, her eyes not moving away from the girl's protruding veins in her arms and across her neck. "I think… the source may be coming from her veins."

Yuzuru whipped his head to stare at her in disbelief. "Are you _crazy_-"

"Listen," she explained, "sometimes, this happens. Sometimes, we can't know things for sure, but we can make deductions based on the information that we have been given."

"Isn't that just jumping to conclusions?"

"Sometimes," Sakura replied as she took a deep breath, "but our jobs as _shinobi_, and as _medical shinobi_, is to try and piece the information together, so long as we have something - _anything_ \- to go off of."

"So what are you saying?"

"The person who killed her…" Sakura whispered, "...they _want_ us to be unsure."

"Why?"

"So they can buy some time."

An unsettling sense of horror filled the room and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Yuzuru walk over to the sink, resting his hands there, trying to calm himself down. Being a medical ninja carried all the honor that it deserved, but no one could ever possibly warn you how difficult, how emotionally taxing, and how heartbreaking it could be at times. Trying hard to understand something was one deal, but coupled with not being able to find an immediate solution made _shinobi_ like Sakura feel, at times, absolutely powerless.

"Yuzuru," she said finally, "for now, all we can do is take some of her skin as a sample so we can look at this specific case closely. Maybe we can figure out the cause of death after running some tests."

Without hesitation, the brown-haired man did as he was told, expertly removing a piece of skin from the body and storing it in a cylinder for them to look at. "What should I do with this?"

"We look at it now," she explained, "because there is no way I'm leaving here tonight without having _some_ kind of answer."

Motivated by his _shishou_'s determination, Yuzuru quickly began running tests on the sample without waiting for Sakura to give the okay. After the war, the medical facilities had improved tremendously, which had helped Tsunade to create a medical department that was more well-rounded and had significantly more resources than it previously. In the first few days that he started working for her, Sakura showed him the ropes just as Tsunade had taught her. Of course, their resources almost always paid off.

"You get anything yet?" Sakura asked as she threw away her bloodied pair of gloves and fished for a new pair.

"Calibrating."

The next ten minutes were excruciating for the both of them. They paced around the room and listened to the technology for any changes, but they were so slight that no real conclusions could be made yet. Sakura tapped her fingers against the table and Yuzuru hummed a song that, after a few times, his _shishou_ could memorize it, and started humming along with him, too. They were beyond tense, anxious to see what secrets they could manage to find out, when they both heard the mechanics finally come to a halt. They stayed in their spots in disbelief, worried that if either of them moved too soon, that they would wake up and realize it was all a dream.

"Should we…?" Yuzuru barely whispered.

"Yes."

Slowly, Sakura moved to look at the screen that displayed a bunch of numbers that surely would have been jargon to anyone else, and out of fear that she was _still_ dreaming, she blinked once, then twice, and then her face distorted into an expression filled with confusion. She sucked in a breath and held it for ten second before letting it out harshly in frustration.

"What's wrong?"

"It's… poison."

Yuzuru blinked from behind her, moving to look at the screen himself. "What? How's that possible?"

"I don't… but it's not liquid."

"More like acid?"

"Kind of?" she replied, growing more confused with each minute that passed by. "But, I think I figured out why her organs didn't show as much damage."

"I don't get it."

"Yuzuru," she said carefully, "whatever this poison is, it's the kind that _only_ attacks the veins. It corrupts the victim."

"How do you know that?"

Sakura bit her lip. "Call it a hunch."

"But _shishou_-"

"Just trust me for now." Sakura quipped, her words cutting. "Okay?"

The young man did not say another word, but nodded instead, his expression filled with worry and with things that he wanted to say, but simply couldn't. Sakura listened as he put away other equipment and felt a little guilty that she couldn't share what she felt was a working theory. It might have been far-fetched, which was why she needed to present to Naruto whatever she found, even if it was only grabbing at scraps. While she trusted Yuzuru, her inner _shinobi_ was telling her that this time around, her job and duty came first.

"This means we're getting progress… right?" Yuzuru asked uncertainly. Sakura couldn't help but think that he needed to believe in himself more.

"Yes," she answered, "even if it's one small step, we're getting there."

After having locked away the evidence they had, they left the surgical room and turned off all the lights and locked the doors. The hallways were eerily quiet except for the sound of them walking on the linoleum floor, and as they reached the hospital exit, Yuzuru turned to look at her. He cleared his throat.

"Are you going to tell Lord Seventh yet?"

"Technically," she said, "I kind of have to. I don't think this is a situation where I should keep it from him first."

"I agree."

Wordlessly, the teacher and student parted ways, Yuzuru walking into town; Sakura walking towards the Hokage Tower. She looked up and saw that his office's lights were still on, which wasn't really an indicator of whether or not he was there. What she had found was unnerving, and what she knew was going to make it hard for her to sleep was the fact that whatever theory she was starting to form in her head might actually be the truth about this girl's death. Begrudgingly, she admitted that there were times that she feared her own knowledge, which she was taught to always trust.

It was still early in the evening, but autumn was gradually turning into winter, making the skies dark more often than they were bright. The Hokage Tower was still bustling with _jōnin_ who were talking amongst themselves and looking at the mission board for jobs they wanted to take, giving Sakura polite bows as she passed by them, whispers of 'she's a hero' trailing behind her. She acknowledged them politely by slightly nodding her head at them, quickly making her way to the Hokage's office. She _needed_ to tell Naruto about the development of information, even if it wasn't confirmed yet. As she approached the door, she took a deep breath and knocked.

"Enter." Naruto's raspy voice answered.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Sakura asked as she closed the door behind her, referring to Shikamaru hovering over Naruto as he signed mountains of papers.

"Nope."

"He's just a little late on his paperwork," Shikamaru replied tacitly. "If you'd finished earlier, you could be at _Ichiraku_ right now."

The blond made a noise in the back of his throat. "Jerk."

Sakura walked forward, unsure of how to begin. It was only when Naruto looked up at her with a curious expression that she felt the best way to tell him was to be honest - something she hadn't been with him in a very long time. "Sai came to me today," she whispered.

At her words, even Shikamaru looked up, his expression just as tense as the Hokage that was beside him. Naruto, upon seeing Sakura's furrowed brow, leaned back in his chair and set down his pen. He sighed, evidently preparing himself for what he was about to hear. "Did you find anything?"

"Actually," she replied, "I did."

"What was it?"

"The thing is, it's still a working theory."

"Tell me," Naruto quipped, "even if it's just bits and pieces. We have to keep moving."

The pink-haired woman hesitated, looking at him, then at his advisor, and back to him. She bit her lip. "Naruto… I've studied something like this, and… it's not as simple as we thought it was."

"Then explain it to me."

"I don't have enough-"

"Make it simple for me to understand, Sakura-chan."

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking straight at his face, telling herself that this was part of the job description, no matter how difficult it was. "It's a type of _fūinjutsu_."

* * *

The harbor was always peacefully quiet in the evenings. It was a setting that allowed for contemplation, for reflection on things that were too big to think about in normal circumstances. She often found him here, back when there were rumors that Sasuke had inevitably started the Fourth Shinobi War. He soaked his feet in the water as he sat on the wooden ledge, an action that was known amongst his teammates that he wanted to be left alone.

Except that tonight, she didn't _want_ him to be alone.

"Are you sure?" he said quietly. "Maybe you're making a mistake."

"I know it's hard to take in," Sakura said softly, facing his back as he stared out onto the water, "but I'm still getting information. For now, _this_ is what we have to assume."

Naruto stayed silent as the sound of the water filled both their ears. Not daring to sit next to him, Sakura stayed a good five meters away from him, looking out at the water that way. Not being able to imagine the way he felt, she could do nothing more than just stand behind him, supporting him wholeheartedly, but silently. It had always been this way: she had never been able to do a thing for him. She frowned.

"It's gotta be a joke, y'know," Naruto hollered at no one in particular, "it just… it can't be true."

Sakura's lips felt heavy, unable to form any words to offer comfort or solace.

"All that murdering, all that slaughtering," he trembled from rage, "and now the working theory is that they're using _fūinjutsu_? What a fucking _joke_."

"I'm sorry," Sakura said quietly, "I didn't want to believe it, either. _Fūinjutsu_ was one of the most powerful techniques out there, and yet…" she trailed off, not knowing how, or even wanting to, finish her sentence.

It was silent for the next couple of minutes before Naruto turned around, his blue eyes filled with remorse as he looked at her. Something in her stirred and reacted to his expression, a reminder of how absolutely painful it was, and still is, painful to see him so upset. She looked away, reminding herself not to get caught up in it. "Sakura-chan," he said softly, "why are you over there? Come sit here."

"Oh, I don't-"

"Wanna know why this pisses me off?" He took a quick pause, but wasn't really waiting for an answer. "My mom's clan specialized in _fūinjutsu_." Sakura blinked, surprised, and subconsciously moved closer. "She lost her family because of it."

As they were growing up, Sakura had always seen him as someone that was as bright as the sun. Whenever he was upset, she wanted to kick herself for not being able to provide him with comfort. It seemed to her that in situations like those, just her being beside him was enough. He would express his disdain, or anger, or hopelessness, or great sadness that rendered him feeling useless, but her words of encouragement had always lifted his spirits and kept him going.

This time, she was at a loss for what to say.

"Remember when you came here to clear your thoughts before the war?" she asked softly. "You wouldn't come back, even when Kakashi-sensei came to console you."

"I like it here," he answered simply, "it gives me clarity."

"It does that for me, too."

"You came here when I wasn't here?"

"Only a few times," she admitted, the day of his wedding looming in the back of her memory, "but each time you came here, I always wished I could do something."

"You've done everything you could for me."

"No," she shook her head, "that's not true. I wanted to do so much more."

"What more could you have done?" he chuckled softly. "You protected me as much as you could, which is something I've always appreciated."

"I know."

"Then why?"

In the distance, she heard the honks of the ships that were returning to the harbor. "Maybe it's just a bad habit I have. Thinking that I haven't done anything for you."

She turned to look at him, thinking that his eyes were still looking far out at the water, but their eyes met and locked for a few moments that were too long to be called "moments". The lump that she had been holding back all day rose in her throat again and her eyes brimmed with tears that she tried to blink away with all her might. Instead, what ensued was her best friend reaching forward to wipe at her wet cheek, letting his thumb linger on her cheekbone. The intensity of the mission she had been given, the information that she had found out so far, and the sadness that she felt when she opened that tarp that Sai had brought her all seemed to come forth now, making her tremble.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as Naruto moved closer, "I wanted you to have everything."

"No," he uttered, his lips barely a whisper upon hers, "I wanted _you_ to have everything."

The sound of the water around them could not drown out the sound of their thumping hearts.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	5. Family, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swirling emotions left by their encounter, Naruto and Sakura both try to convince each other (and themselves) that they made the right decisions. Sakura’s heavy workload takes a toll on her health, and her condition brings visitors, new insights and truths Sakura doesn’t want to face just yet. All the while, a presence lurks outside her home..

Neither of them moved a muscle and the only thing keeping them apart were their breaths.

Guilt crept up in the back of Sakura's throat like a repressed cough, but it was Naruto who pulled away first, his regretful expression mirroring hers. Their heads shyly turned to look out at the harbor, hoping that the moon reflected in the water would somehow fill the silence that had grown so unbearable that they were clearing their throats every few seconds. Neither of them spoke, and suddenly, just as difficult as it had been fifteen years ago to be normal around him, Sakura felt that familiar dread creeping up on her again.

"I'm sorry," Naruto uttered, "I think I just got caught up in the moment."

She turned to look at him, confused. "What?"

"You know," he explained, "just… really caught up."

"Right."

"I didn't mean it," he sighed, then ran his hand through his hair in shame.

Sakura winced at his nonchalance. "I know."

Bringing her knees to her chest, she watched the lights on the boats go on before they left the harbor, bidding Konoha farewell before it returned the next time. The voices of the men on board resounded in her ears as captains commanded their crew, and as friends shared bottles of rum and laughter while they set sail. A dull ache spread through her chest, even as she tried hard to focus on what was in front of her eyes as opposed to what was right next to her. She took in a deep breath through her nose and expelled it slowly in an attempt to think clearly.

"How's Hinata?" she asked quietly.

There was a pause that lasted too long before Naruto sighed. "Sometimes, I think I took her life away from her."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like," he surmised, "every time she looks at me, I feel like I didn't give her enough."

Sakura smiled sadly. "You gave her a home and a family. A _beautiful_ family. What're you not giving her?"

"Enough nights at home, probably."

Naruto's words were so calmly executed that she frowned. They were too calculated, a sign that it was a subject that Naruto thought a lot about. "I'm sure she understands."

"She does," he nodded, "but it's still not fair of me to make her basically raise our kids alone."

"That's not what you're doing."

"You should hear the things Boruto says to me."

Letting out a chuckle, Sakura looked at him. "You should hear what _Sarada_ says to me about her dad. It's awful being a single mom."

"You don't regret it, though." He mused, looking out at the water. "You're happy with the choice you made."

"Aren't you?"

"Of course," he smiled, although it looked a little like he was wincing, "I made the right choice."

They sat in silence once more. It was difficult to convince herself that she had done _everything_ right to end up with the life she now lived, but to see the Seventh Hokage stare out unto the water wasn't at all humbling or comforting. Perhaps, she was too afraid to say she was unhappy with the life she was dealt, save for Sarada. She cleared her throat, thinking that maybe he felt as though his lifelong dream wasn't what he had hoped it would be.

"If you weren't Hokage, I don't think you would've been satisfied with your life."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah," she replied, "striving to be Hokage was your _thing_. It's the life you wanted. You wanted so much to be… admired. Respected. _Loved_."

A small smile cracked at the corners of his lips. "I guess you're right."

"I'm always right," she joked, nudging him in his side. He turned to look at her and gave her a more genuine smile, the one that she had missed so much. Her heart lurched at how stupid she used to be. She sighed.

"Do you miss him?" Naruto asked suddenly.

Her head turned back to the water, as though the answers were written there. "He's my husband. The father of my daughter."

"Is that a yes?"

She bit her lip. "Yes," she lied, "of course I do."

"You should take him here next time he comes back," Naruto said, his voice low, "it's a nice spot."

Nodding, she blinked away the tears that pricked her eyes. "You should bring Hinata here, too. I'm sure she would love it."

"She would."

As quickly as his lips had almost touched hers, they were laughing and reminiscing about their days as _genin_, as though they were oblivious to the underlying emotions that they locked away in the hopes that they wouldn't sprout. _Maybe it was in my head_, Sakura convinced herself. The day she had come to realize that she loved Naruto was when he almost lost control of the Nine Tails inside him for the first time, because she felt an immense pain at the sight of Naruto bleeding before her. He had promised to bring Sasuke back to Konoha, but at the time, that promise almost came at a price. The day that she fell _in_ love with him, though, was much later into the future. She didn't know at what exact moment it was, but it was as though she blinked and suddenly, Hinata had risked her life to save Naruto from Pein.

A deep sadness had seeped into her as she realized that selfishness was one of her finer qualities.

"He'll come home, y'know," Naruto uttered, "it's not like he's gone forever."

"I know."

"Sarada-chan knows you're trying your best."

"I doubt it."

"She does," he reiterated, "otherwise you wouldn't be having such a hard time with her."

"So because she's suffering," she said sarcastically, "I'm doing my best?"

"No. It's because you're doing your best that her suffering isn't worse than this," Naruto said slowly, "and that she's still able to love her mother."

Hugging her knees, Sakura didn't say another word as Naruto talked happily about his wife and children, telling her and confiding in her that he wanted to be there for them more often particularly because he grew up with no family. She listened and nodded and felt understanding dawn down on her. Everyone she had known before she got married now led different lives, save for the actual person she married. Just like Naruto had a responsibility to both the village and his family, Sakura had a responsibility to Sarada to be her mother. Despite the fact, relief was not the emotion that Sakura felt when they hadn't kissed.

Love was sometimes not so easily defined, and if not kept locked properly, it had the force to destroy a perfectly preserved happiness. For a long time, she had convinced herself that to want something was selfish, especially if it put others' happiness on the line. For what it was worth, she knew she didn't have the strength to tear apart a family, much less two. If multiple universes existed like she had been taught by Kakashi, then in at least one of them, she would have been brave.

There was no use in fantasizing about what could have been.

* * *

The last time that she took leave from work had been such a long time ago, that she couldn't remember clearly if she had ever done so. Having gotten used to always being busy, she now found it hard to stay still in one spot. There was a reason why, when Sarada wasn't home, she would put on season after season of sitcoms and let it play in the background as she roamed the house, cleaning here and there, or in this case, as she tried to figure out what to _do_ with herself.

The only thing in her life - in her house, rather - that didn't cause such a headache at that moment was her fresh, hot cup of peppermint tea. Naturally, she had left the TV on in the living room and was not sitting in the room next to it, at the dining table, idly watching the screen, not really following what was happening. She hated being sick. Even more so, she hated getting sick from the amount of stress she put herself under. Tsunade had always warned her, as did Kakashi, that working until she fell over was never the answer to her problems. Of course, she was a Haruno. She almost never listened.

Her eyes moved to the photo frames of her family on the mantel next to the TV. Sasuke had never smiled - even in these family photos that she so proudly displayed. She sighed.

Every time she let her guard down, she thought back to the night before. She knew she wasn't some dumb kid who thought that wishing for something hard enough got you what you wanted. Truthfully, she had long passed that stage of her life, and she had learned that sometimes, the gods didn't give you what you wanted because it wasn't what you needed. Yet, after years of becoming better and stronger, the moment that Sasuke proposed to her, she almost felt as though she owed it to her younger self to see the marriage through.

The thing that she learned in more recent years was that naïvety could ruin lives. She would have been so angry at herself, but Naruto was right.

This was her choice.

"..._I don't need you! I'll be fine on my own_!" Sakura frowned as her focus shifted to the voices she hard on TV.

"Jeez," she mumbled to herself, moving to where she left the remote on the coffee table, "I thought this was a sitcom." As she flipped through the channels to look for something more bearable to keep on in the background, the familiar ding of her doorbell resounded throughout the house. The slippers on her feet clapped on the wooden floors with each step she took and she straightened her bathrobe and ruffled her fingers through her hair before finally opening the door to Yuzuru, who was worrying his bottom lip from biting it, while carrying a box that she only assumed had a bunch of books and files in it. A soft 'oh' was all Sakura could manage to make come out of her mouth.

"Don't _oh_ me! How many times have I told you that you were going to get sick if you didn't slow down?"

"Minor oversight," Sakura replied coolly, leaving the door open as a silent invitation to let him in. "I wasn't expecting it."

"You're not invincible, you know."

"I'm well aware."

Yuzuru settled the box on the floor before him and closed the door. He found himself face-to-face with his shishou, who was clearly too tired to argue that she had every reason to work as hard as she did, which was a clear indicator that this was not a subject that she wanted to discuss. He sighed and rubbed his temples before he took off his shoes and left them at the genkan, making himself at home and walking towards the dining room, with box in hand, where Sakura's peppermint tea was still sitting.

"You take any medicine today?" he shouted from the dining room as Sakura slowly followed him.

"I'm an _iryō_ nin. I don't need medicine."

"That's presumptuous."

"I'm just feeling a little under the weather," she said with frustration tingeing her voice, "I'm not dying."

The face that Yuzuru attempted to discreetly pull instantly made Sakura seared her with guilt. As though ignoring it, she reached over him and grabbed her half full mug of tea and walked into the kitchen behind her, heading straight for the sink. As her fingers scrubbed the rim quickly and she rinsed the cup, she clicked her tongue. There had been more than few times when she and Shizune had worried over Tsunade, going so far as to check up on her whenever she was sick. That was one of the areas in which she was disappointed she wasn't more like her shishou. The woman had been pretty great at asking for help from people she trusted, but Sakura? She always felt as though she was a burden on people who wanted to look after her. She sighed and moved to the sliding door of the kitchen, seeing her disciple bring out some files from the box he brought over.

"You want some tea?" she asked. "We have green tea, peppermint, camomile-"

"Green tea is fine," he said nonchalantly, "don't wanna put you through much trouble."

"It's just tea, Yuzuru."

The young man didn't answer as she put the kettle on the stove and made her way back to the dining room, quickly wiping the table with a damp cloth. Her eyes briefly scanned the files that had been laid out on the table, looking for something familiar, but they all seemed to be case files on past crimes that had used some kind of forbidden jutsu to execute agendas. Sakura hummed, supposing that that was most often the reason that people started wars: forbidden techniques that held great power. Yuzuru cleared his throat. "I managed to get my hand on a few, but this isn't all."

"You didn't bring the rest?"

"I put them in your bottom drawer for when you come back to work."

"Is that really okay?" Sakura worried. "What if someone finds out?"

He smiled kindly. "We just made the move into your new office."

"What?" she blinked. "On a day I'm not in?"

"Don't worry," he waved his hand as he pulled out a few books which she could only assume were from the library, "I organized your desk so that it wasn't messy, but when you come back, you get to decorate everything how you want."

"How's it look?"

"Let's just say it's fitting of a disciple of one of the legendary Sannin."

"That…" Sakura chuckled, "...doesn't tell me much, but alright.

Explaining the point of each file to Sakura was not a difficult task. She wasn't known as one of the smartest and strongest kunoichi for nothing, and the pink-haired woman was lucky that all the information that laid out before her led _somewhere_. The only problem was that there were a bit of holes in the research and it started to seem to Sakura that she might have to convince Naruto that she needed to go on a mission, after all. Her eyes stayed glued to a page regarding _fūinjutsu_ that Yuzuru had clearly thought nothing of, and she fingered the page as Yuzuru poured her yet another cup of tea.

"Yuzuru?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean to put this in here?" she gestured towards what she was reading. "It's a little different from the other things you gave me."

"No," he shook his head, "I meant to put that there." She gave him a questioning look, gesturing with her hand that told him to continue. "Well, when you said it was a type of poison, I thought it was weird that it did something to her veins, like you said. So, I did some digging."

"What did you find?" Sakura tensed.

"Apparently," he explained as he pulled out another file form the box, "the actual poison isn't a liquid form. It's crystal."

"_Crystal_? That's insane," Sakura exasperated, then coughed for unexpectedly expending energy, "that means that whoever killed our victim yesterday _fed_ her a liquid form-"

Sakura stopped short as she tried to put the pieces together in her head. She was smart, and incredibly so, but there was something about this investigation and mission that made it hard for her to wrap her head around. Perhaps it was conflict of interest, but she wasn't a _jinchuuriki_ and neither was anyone in her family. She was merely married to a man who happened to have a _kekkei gengkai_. She sighed and rubbed her temples. "This is giving me a headache."

"Maybe you should rest," Yuzuru suggested softly, "you'll feel better later."

"No, I want to at least figure one thing out. It may seem like we have a lot of time, but that could change tomorrow."

"Why?"

"That's how S-ranked missions work, Yuzuru."

No words were exchanged between them after that. They diligently looked through file after file, trying to find some kind of connection, but there was a burning question in Sakura's head: _how_ did this poison get made? Before the war had ended, it was much easier to get a supply of illegal substances and turn them into deadly medicine and such, but since laws had changed to stop putting civilians and other shinobi at risk, it shouldn't have been so strange that someone found a way around the system. Being a shinobi was defined as finding loopholes in conduct sometimes, after all. She huffed.

"I think someone needs another cup of tea." Yuzuru teased.

"I think _sake_ is more accurate."

"Tsunade the Second, indeed," he chuckled, "but that's no surprise."

She rolled her eyes playfully, then smiled as she sifted through more papers. The title of a particular document caught her eye, making her skim through it before deciding to read the entire thing. Her eyes moved rapidly as her thoughts percolated, sensing that even though she hadn't found a smoking gun, she definitely found _something_.

"What is it?" Yuzuru asked, noting her expression.

"The poison was originally crystal form?" she double-checked. "And not liquid, right?"

"Right."

She cleared her throat and began to read. "'The substance _utsushō_ has been known to be converted to liquid form and is lethal in this manner. However, there have been previous cases where victims have been force fed the substance _utsushō_ in its original crystal form, causing hallucinations while it spreads throughout the body, corrupting the victim's body from the inside out.'"

The dining room was quiet as Yuzuru stared at his shishou incredulously, as though hoping that everything she had just read was utter dog shit. She sighed and held the document before her still, as though she herself was still trying to come terms with what was being said. "Is that… all of it?" Yuzuru asked quietly.

"No," she shook her head, "there's more."

"What does it say?"

Spearmint eyes turned to look at the young man standing before her, who wore an expression that had now turned into a kind of fear that looked as though it would haunt his sleep for a while yet. She huffed. "'_Utsushō_ has been used as a means of suppressing chakra that had turned out to be effective in the past. Victims who are civilians, or those who have smaller chakra reserves, are those who suffer the most, as their lives have always certainly ended not long after ingesting the substance. This substance has been used in interrogation methods as a means of suppressing power from criminals in order to force them to give up information to their captors.'"

"So, it's also like a truth serum."

"Maybe not a serum," she shook her head, "but just… something poisonous." Her eyes ran over the rest of the document, recognizing the kanji for the word '_fūinjutsu_', but opting not to say anything to her disciple who was now pacing around the dining room. She would have to remind him in the future to read things through before handing something over to her, but that was a lesson for a later date.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Sakura asked softly. "It means that we have a place to start."

"Ms. Haruno, we don't have _any_ of the information we need to-"

"Like I said," she answered patiently, "it's a start."

"Which means?"

"Which means… more digging. One way or another."

Yuzuru groaned. "How are you so _calm_?"

"You have to find ways to reign it in, Yuzuru. You are a _shinobi_, which means you _have_ to project the capacity for being patient, even when it's hard."

He began pacing around the room again, clicking his tongue and furrowing his brow. Sakura didn't attempt to soothe him because everyone was different. While she needed reassurance from Tsunade whenever these types of missions became too overwhelming, he was the type that needed to collect his thoughts before he could function properly and form coherent responses, as well as appropriate ones. Sakura flipped through other documents from that particular file, recognizing the lexicon that was used in each separate report regarding the substance. She bit the inside of her cheek in contemplation.

"So, what now?" Yuzuru interrupted. "Do we go to Lord Seventh?"

"Well, _I_ go to him first."

Her disciple narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why?"

"I was the one assigned to this formally," she explained, "and unless I'm allowed to form a team, it should come from me."

"Can I at least be there?"

"Will you behave?"

"Will _you_?" he teased, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Last time I saw you around him, you completely froze-"

"It'll be different this time," she reassured.

"Really?" Yuzuru snorted. "Did something happen?"

Sakura could not thank the gods enough for not having to answer his question when they both heard a rather loud knock at the front door. Gesturing for him to answer the door, Sakura quickly and neatly organized the documents back into their respective files and threw them into the box that he had brought over. Pushing the box to the corner of the dining room, she popped the lid on and decided to pass it off as medical research as opposed to mission files, if anyone asked, though she doubted they would. She sat back down in her seat and sipped her cup of tea as Yuzuru walked back into the dining room with a long-haired blonde woman behind him. He gave her a look and Sakura could not believe her eyes as the woman's face was revealed and she gave a soft smile before bidding her hello. Sakura set her cup before her and was fairly certain that it felt as though her jaw had dropped, but she gulped and smiled back, moving to stand up.

"Good to know you're not always blurting out things on your _shishou_'s behalf," she teased before patting him on the shoulder, "otherwise I'd be worried for Dekorin."

"I've learned my lesson, Mrs. Yamanaka," Yuzuru smiled, "Ms. Haruno has taught me well. Believe me."

Ino laughed and seemed much kinder than she had been since the last time they saw each other. Yuzuru nodded and bowed to excuse himself before going into the kitchen where Sakura heard the kettle on the stove again. She could've laughed at how easily Yuzuru made himself feel at home, but it was only natural. The young man would be over at her house a lot, it seemed, just as she had spent much of her time around Tsunade. She gestured for Ino to sit and without a doubt, it had definitely felt like old times.

"You weren't at your office today," she started, "so I thought I'd drop by."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she waved her hand, "don't worry about it. I just wanted to see you."

"Because…?"

Ino took a deep breath and her expression deepened. "To apologize."

Sakura blinked. "_You_? _Apologizing_?" she asked incredulously. "Are you day-drinking again, Ino-buta?"

"That was _one_ time!"

The pink-haired woman laughed and felt as though her headache had alleviated a little. "What's up? Seriously."

"I really did want to apologize."

"About?"

"How I snapped at you for not wanting to be called Mrs. Uchiha."

"Oh." Sakura deadpanned. "Right."

"Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who keep their maiden names, so it's not like I'm really traditional or anything…"

"What is this about, Ino?" Sakura asked seriously, sensing something deeper than her girl friend was letting on.

"I got upset for no reason," Ino started, "or rather, I just felt like… _you_ got too upset whenever people didn't call you Haruno."

Sakura didn't answer. Mostly because there was some truth to what Ino was saying, but she wasn't going to interrupt someone as they were apologizing. Most of all Ino.

"I just… I thought this was what you wanted."

Sakura cocked an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"You spent so much of your time loving someone who wasn't there, and frankly, it got so hard to watch."

Sakura blinked, not quite understanding. "You were… upset because you didn't _like_ Sasuke?"

"I mean," Ino explained, "at first, it was just jealousy. I was a petty kid. But as I got older, I just felt like… you deserved better. Someone who felt lucky to know you. For a while, I thought maybe you and the Seventh had that kinda thing going."

"What made you think that?"

"You should've seen the way he looked at you," Ino rolled her eyes, "for someone who's considered a really good liar, he _sucked_ at hiding his feelings for you. Even _Sai_ could read him."

Sakura chuckled as she remembered the pale man's emotionless demeanor. "Sai's come a long way. I'm proud."

"Me too," Ino laughed, "but that's not what we're talking about here. I'm sorry that I crossed a line. I just wanted you to be happy that you made this choice."

Nervously, Sakura forced a laugh and sat up straighter in her seat. "Of course I'm happy."

Ino didn't respond at first. She let out a breath and twiddled her thumbs before setting her hands flat on the table, then looked straight at Sakura, her usually piercing blue eyes now soft. "It's not easy to have a husband who hasn't come home in thirteen years. I mean, Sarada-chan doesn't even know who her father is. Just from photos."

"He had to figure things out," Sakura whispered, "it's not like he wanted to leave."

"You can keep telling yourself that," Ino said, "but you _know_ that for any Uchiha, the most important thing is family. Sending money in his absence is nothing compared to actually being here."

"It's better than nothing."

"Sakura…"

"Look, Ino," she snapped, "I know that you're looking out for me, but _I_ made this choice."

"I know."

"_I_ chose to marry him."

"I know."

"Then _why_," Sakura practically shouted, "does it _bother_ you so much?"

A sharp silence followed her burning question. Ino closed her eyes and sighed, clearly in contemplation. Yuzuru, who was standing in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen holding a tray with tea on it, was frozen. The scratchy throat that Sakura had been trying to remedy now felt worse than before, but she gulped and forced herself to bear with it. Her hands, which laid in her lap, were in fists as she tried to contain her anger. At the pit of her stomach, she knew why she was so upset at Ino's words, but was certain she didn't yet have enough courage to face it.

"Because I _hate_ watching you pretend you're fine. It's as simple as that."

"You know that's how I am."

"No," Ino shook her head, "something is different this time, and I feel like a shitty friend for not knowing why."

Sakura scoffed. "So this whole apology was because you felt _bad_ about yourself?"

"No," Ino answered quickly, "this apology is about how much of an _ass_ I've been. And I'm trying to tell you how worried I am-"

"Noted," Sakura said plainly, "and I accept your apology, but please just let me go at my own pace."

Ino took in a breath and pursed her lips. "Can I know why?"

"People need different things, Ino-"

"No. I mean. Can I know why you didn't reach out to anyone for fifteen years?"

"About what?"

The blonde frowned. "Anything, really. You only talked to any of us when it was really necessary, which kinda made it seem like you were hiding something."

"I wasn't."

"Okay," Ino sighed, "fine. I believe you. I'll give you your space, but just know that we all want what's best for you."

"Who's we?"

"All your old friends." Ino replied quietly as she started to stand up. "It's just a thought, okay? I didn't mean anything by it."

The two women didn't exchange any more words as Sakura walked her to the door, giving her a short hug in thanks for visiting her. She could almost feel Yuzuru burning and buzzing with curiosity, but her headache that she had been trying to get rid of all day had returned, making her feel a little short of breath. Hanging onto the sides of the walls, she guided herself to the TV room where she had only just realized that she left the device on, and she grunted as she fell onto the cushions. Her eyelids fluttered as she watched the screen and just a few seconds later, Yuzuru came into the room and set a cup of tea on the coffee table before her. She chuckled.

"Is that your remedy for everything?"

"Not really," he answered honestly, "I was just always raised to feel better with hot tea."

"Thank god you're my disciple," Sakura surmised, "because I have _so_ much to teach you about how the human body works."

Yuzuru's laugh rumbled through him, deeper than Sakura had ever realized. She smirked and pushed her face into one of the pillows she was laying into, focusing her attention back to the TV. Propping himself on the floor, Yuzuru leaned his head against the arm rest near her feet, joining his shishou in witnessing one of the most classic sitcoms of her time. Neither of them laughed, nor did they make a noise, even as punchline after punchline was being delivered with the intention of making the audience laugh. Sakura's face stayed in the expression it was before: indifferent.

"Ms. Haruno, I don't mean any disrespect-"

"Then don't say anything."

"But, I think Mrs. Yamanaka is right, in a way."

Sakura humphed.

"I understand that you keep things from me because you haven't known me for years," he said slowly, "but… you've known everyone else for years. They must miss you dearly."

"Is that so," Sakura replied absentmindedly.

"You don't see it now, but you'll regret it if you don't at least consider what she said."

"What makes you so sure?"

He sighed before getting to his feet, straightening out the creases in his pants. "My dad left my mom when my sister was only two years old. I grew up without a father, and my mom didn't like asking for help. Said something about not wanting to be a burden, but even up to this day, she is the loneliest person I know."

Sakura sat up and held a cushion in her lap, making sure not to look him in the eye. "What happened to your mom after that?"

"She's trying to put the pieces back together, still," he said, "so it's never too late to forgive yourself for needing someone."

Glancing up at him, Sakura could see that he was determined to make her feel better about her encounter with Ino. She smiled at him reassuringly, that she would consider what Ino had said, and would genuinely think about being better. At the very least, Sakura knew that she owed herself, and the people that loved her, that much. Her disciple smiled at her softly and bowed to her before he started to tidy up the dining table, which earned a laugh from Sakura on the sofa.

Yuzuru blinked in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"You can just leave that there," she chuckled, "I'll get Sarada to do it."

"No, it's okay," he smiled, "I'm used to doing this for my mom."

"Are you saying I'm like your mom?"

He tilted his head. "Well, you _are_ my _shishou_."

"That doesn't mean I'm like your mother."

"Okay, okay," Yuzuru surrendered, "how about a much, much older sister?"

"You didn't have to add the word 'much' twice, but fine." Sakura rolled her eyes, evidently making her headache a little worse. "I'm okay with being like your older sister."

The dark-haired man gave her a bright smile and headed for the kitchen, and Sakura could hear the clanging of the dishes and she shook her head, worried that he was clumsier than he appeared. She leaned the side of her head against her knuckle and idly watched TV, running through Ino's words in her head. Not only did she have to worry about maintaining friendships with people who genuinely cared about her, but she also had to start thinking about the mission that she was assigned by both Gaara and Naruto, as rare and odd as the situation may be. There was a lot to be done, and even though it had been a long time since she last went on a mission, she already had a few strategies in mind.

As Yuzuru came out of the kitchen, they both heard the front door being unlocked. Sakura turned her head just in time to make eye contact with Sarada, whose face had gone from indifferent to extremely worried. Kicking off her sandals, she ran to her mother - who was protesting about keeping her shoes organized by the _genkan_ \- and hugged her tightly, asking what was wrong.

"Did something happen? Why didn't you tell me?" Sarada exclaimed, looking at her mother with wide eyes.

"Nothing's wrong, Sarada-chan," the pink-haired reassured as she stroked her daughter's hair, "just feeling a little under the weather today."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"And what? You'd take a day off school?" Sakura joked. "It's not that big a deal, I promise."

"What's _he_ doing here?" the young Uchiha gestured to Yuzuru as though he wasn't standing there. He made a face.

"Nice to see you too, Sarada-chan," he said sarcastically, "but I was just doing work with your mom earlier."

It was _her_ turn to make a face. "Mom, you were working when you just said that you weren't feeling well?"

"It's only some reading," Sakura responded. She felt as though she was being interrogated by her mother when she was still a teenager. Irony was an interesting thing, after all.

"Is that true, Yuzuru-niichan?"

"Yes," he replied earnestly, "and we even took a short break when Mrs. Yamanaka came to check up on your mom."

Sarada blinked. "Inojin's mom was here?"

"Just for a bit."

"Did something happen?"

"No," Sakura shook her head, "she just heard that I wasn't feeling well, sos he came to see me."

"Ms. Haruno," Yuzuru said suddenly, "I think I am going to take off for today, now that Sarada-chan is here. I even left the dirty dishes for her."

"_Hey_!" Sarada exclaimed as Sakura laughed.

The pink-haired woman watched as her daughter attempted to punch her disciple in a play fight, and she couldn't help but feel as though in that moment, she _definitely_ didn't regret her life as it was. In the long run, it was the little things that made her look at her life with more clarity and more gratitude. She watched Sarada walk Yuzuru to the door and he gave her a big hug before ruffling her hair, causing a grunt to come from the young Uchiha, before he walked out the door, bidding them farewell. Taking a deep breath, Sarada pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and walked towards her mother, plopping herself down next to her.

"Don't you have dishes to do?" Sakura joked.

"I'll do them later," she replied, "since I wanna make sure you actually go to sleep soon."

"I will."

"No," Sarada sighed, "you always say you will, and then you stay up until like, three in the morning."

"How do _you_ know I stay up that late?"

"I may have accidentally woken up a few times to pee, and I see you still working sometimes."

"Is this the truth," Sakura said sternly, "or are you afraid I'm going to scold you for sleeping as late as me?"

"It's the truth!"

Sakura cocked an eyebrow but Sarada did not budge. The girl was good, Sakura had to admit. She sighed and brought her daughter closer to her, tickling her in her sides, making her laugh and shout at her mother to stop. They both giggled and Sarada reached in the drawer before them for a blanket to wrap over both of them, surely keeping them warm. Sakura didn't utter a word as she watched her daughter flip through the channels before finally deciding to watch a movie that she deemed worthy enough. She took a deep breath and leaned back against the head of the sofa, already feeling tired. It was only about five minutes into the movie when Sarada spoke up to a half asleep Sakura.

"Mom?"

"Mm?" she mumbled.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry… for the other day."

_That_ definitely woke Sakura up. "What?"

"Training the other day. I'm sorry."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my daughter Sarada?"

The young teenager smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Her hand immediately went up to push a lock of hair behind her ear again, and Sakura got the sense that she wasn't saying something because she was scared. She cleared her throat, attempting to get her attention. When dark eyes turned to her, Sakura cocked an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure, sweetie. What's up?"

Sarada bit her lip and twiddled her thumbs with her brow knitted into an expression that told Sakura that she was conflicted with herself, wondering if maybe, it was wrong of her to voice her opinions. Giving her daughter a smile, the pink-haired woman encouraged her to keep going. There was hardly anything that made Sarada so nervous, and this was one of the rare times that Sakura got to see her daughter this way, though she didn't show it, of course. There was something familiar about the way that she hesitated that reminded her of herself and her relationship with her own mother. She had been everything her mom didn't want her to be, and because of that, she had an ego that made her hesitate to ask for help. This trait, of course, passed onto Sarada.

"On our last mission," she began, "Boruto got really hurt. And… we managed to bandage him up and everything, but…" The pause she took lasted a few heartbeats, almost as though she was trying to keep it together. Sakura could swear she heard her daughter's voice crack, but said nothing. "...I felt so _useless_."

"You're not useless, Sarada."

"I couldn't make his wounds hurt any less, Mom. I couldn't do _anything_!"

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, but," the teenager exasperated, throwing her hands in the air in frustration, "it can't keep going like this! What if he, or someone else, gets _really_ hurt?"

"Sarada," Sakura said, "what are you trying to ask me? What's the favor?"

"Mom," she sighed, "believe me when I say this, please. Because I don't know what else to do." When Sakura didn't answer and instead waited for the words that would leave Sarada's mouth, she took one more deep breath and looked her mother in the eye, the dark color suddenly very bright with determination. "Mom, please teach me _iryōninjutsu_."

For a second, Sakura stared at her, almost certain that she had heard wrong. When Sarada didn't reiterate her words, but instead merely stared at her mother, it was only then that it dawned on Sakura what she was _really_ asking. She let out a huff of breath and regarded her daughter with disbelief. "You wanna… learn it?"

"Yeah."

"Sarada…"

"Mom, I know what you're gonna say."

"No, you don't," she sighed, "you have no idea how emotionally and physically demanding _iryōninjutsu_ is. It takes so much out of you, and it's really intense chakra control-"

"Mom, I come from a family with a _kekkei gengkai_!" Sarada exclaimed. "I would have the best of both you and my dad!"

"I don't know, Sarada," Sakura said pensively, her tone that of a mother who was concerned, "it's. You know. A lot of training. It's not really important for you to learn it right now."

"When is it ever a bad time to learn something? Didn't you always tell me that?"

"Well, yes-"

"Then why won't you teach me?"

"It takes a lot of discipline, Sarada," Sakura said honestly, her hands moving to stroke her daughter's hair, "and frankly, you are smart and very talented. But this is _iryōninjutsu_. It's a totally different caliber."

"I can handle it."

"How do you know that?"

"Mom, please." The young Uchiha pleaded with her mother. The look in her eyes was one that was filled with determination - a glint that Sakura recognized as being something _she_ had flashed at Tsunade when she begged her to be her _shishou_. "I just wanna be useful."

At the fervor in her words, Sakura felt as though she was looking into a mirror of her past self. Evidently, that made total sense. It was true that even though they were no longer living in a time of war, knowing certain techniques was useful in order to aide _genin_ teammates, especially a technique and knowledge that could heal wounds. Her mind reminisced the times that she was thrown against trees by Tsunade, all the times she went home sore, and woke up even more sore. At the end of the day, no matter how many times she was knocked down, she stood back up. Now, at thirty three, she was known as Tsunade's successor, which meant that she was seen as the strongest _kunoichi_ of the current era. She drew in a breath and exhaled slowly, knowing that if she refused her daughter, their relationship might become more strained. Sakura smiled.

"Okay. I'll teach you."

"Mom, ple- wait. What?"

"I said," she reiterated, "I'll teach you."

The scream that came from Sarada honestly convinced Sakura that when she was older, she would be deaf in one ear. She was attacked by her daughter with a bear hug that felt endless. Laughing, she stroked Sarada's hair and hugged her just as tightly, a moment of rejoice that truly made her heart warm. _Finally_, she thought to herself, _she trusts me enough to ask me for help._

The intensity of the training that Sarada would be put through was at the back of her mind for the time-being, and that would be saved for when the sun would rise at dawn. Excited, Sarada ran into the kitchen to grab the both of them some celebratory dessert, the clinking of the utensils in the drawer indicating her rummaging hands. Sakura shook her head in amusement.

Unbeknownst to her, the sheer curtains in the living room had not been completely shut, and in the small slit that allowed a view from the outside in, a man with black hair that had grown too long for his taste stood watching. He was alone, holding a sack that carried the few things that he needed for his journey for repentance of his sins. Reaching into it, he pulled out a photo of a pink-haired woman holding a black-haired baby, whose smiling face reminded him that he now had a family.

Sasuke sighed, and after a few moments' hesitation with shame heavy on his shoulders, he walked to the front door.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	6. Family, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is back in Konoha- and not everyone is necessarily as happy with his return as expected. Sakura is angry, frustrated and bitter- and perhaps with good reason. While she does her best to do the right thing, and figure out what that means- Konoha agents are busy gathering information on the mysterious drug and its origins.

The knock on their front door was too quiet for Sarada to hear from the kitchen. Looking at her phone screen, Sakura quirked an eyebrow at who would be coming to visit them at this time of night. Slowly willing herself to stand up, she walked over to the door and looked through the eye hole and found herself completely frozen. Her eyes stayed glued to the figure that she was seeing, wearing a dark cloak and whose black hair hadn't actually grown that much since she last saw him. _Haircuts_? she asked herself. Drawing back, she felt her jaw tense as she turned to look behind her, where a second door to the kitchen was.

There was no crime in leaving Sasuke at their front door, right? As long as Sarada was asleep before he could come inside…

"Sakura." His voice was low, and had aged along with him, but he still sounded the way she remembered him: cold, but perhaps with a false reassurance that he wasn't. Not towards _her_, anyway. "Can you open the door?"

"What're you doing here?" she whispered, knowing he could hear her. "Is this a joke?"

"What? No, I came back."

"For what?"

He sighed from the other side of the door. Although he sounded tired, there was no way he was more tired than her. "To see my family."

"That's bullshit."

"Sakura-"

"Just. Come back later." She could hear the footsteps in the kitchen walking back to the dining room. "I'll talk to you then."

"No. I came back to-"

"Just _do_ it, Sasuke." Touching the door with the tip of her fingers, she could feel her heart sink as the words left her lips. "You owe me at least that."

Sasuke did not say another word, but instead, turned his heel and walked away. Though she heard his sandals fading, she knew that he would stay close. Listening, watching - waiting for her to open the door to let him back into her life. It wasn't that he had no reason to think that she wouldn't; she was his wife. The problem, of course, was with the fact that Sarada was dealing with questions about the very father who abandoned her for the duration of her entire life so far.

He sure played the abandoner part _extremely_ well.

Sakura spent the next two hours watching the screen with her daughter, laughing at the jokes they knew by heart after so many rewatches of Sarada's favorite movie. Her eyes darted every now and then to the drawn back curtains, worried that Sarada would be able to see her father, perhaps hiding in the bushes. She bit her lip in an attempt to not laugh at the humor behind the situation, should it happen.

"Hey, Mom?" Sarada quietly asked as she snuggled closer. "I want you to know that I really admire you."

The rose-haired woman smiled into her daughter's hair. "I know you do."

"Jee," the young Uchiha rolled her eyes, "you're so humble."

Sakura laughed, and for the next hour, it was silent except for the sound of the television and Sarada's yawns. Tempted to prompt the young teenager to go to sleep, Sakura knew that trying to coerce her would only make her stay up later than she led on, which meant that there was a real chance that Sarada would see Sasuke. There were so many things that could go wrong if that were the case, and as Sakura looked towards the drawn back curtains for the hundredth time, Sarada finally stood up and stretched.

"Okay," she yawned, "I can't keep my eyes open."

"Goodnight, sweetie."

"Night, Mom." She pushed her feet into her home slippers and she began shuffling towards the stairs. "Don't sleep too late."

"I won't," Sakura replied, smiling, "make sure you brush your teeth."

"'Kay."

Sarada slid her feet across the wooden floors for a few minutes as she went upstairs before Sakura finally heard her door shut gently. She sunk back into the sofa and sighed heavily, her migraine coming back. Her fingers rubbed her temple and she counted the seconds before she was certain that Sarada had finally fallen asleep. What ensued next was not Sakura rushing to go outside and speak with Sasuke, but rather, pacing around the dining room and kitchen trying to prepare herself for what he had to say.

She opened and closed the fridge door a few times, taking a different snack every single time. No matter how much she chewed on whatever she was eating, it did little to calm the nerves that were building up inside of her. Now she worried she was going to hit him as soon as she faced him, or worse, that she was going to find any kind of reason to _still_ love him. Sakura had convinced other people that she still loved him deeply, and maybe she did, but so many years of being apart tended to change things, no matter what people said.

It didn't help that along with her crumbling wedding vows, an old friendship was being rekindled and kept her warm.

After finishing off what had been left of the dirty dishes, Sakura drew in a breath and expelled it harshly before turning towards the second door of the kitchen. Swiftly grabbing a jacket, she carefully opened the front door and slipped through, making sure it didn't make noise as she closed it. She turned around and closed her eyes, leaning her head softly against the door. Surely enough, when her eyes opened, Sasuke stood in front of her, the curve of his mouth twitching into an awkward smile.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Sakura was pretty convinced that some part of her was dreaming, but when he took a step closer, she immediately straightened her back. "Don't come closer," she said.

"I thought you agreed to talk."

"I did, but," she whispered, "not here."

Sasuke bit his lip and looked to the side at the path that led up to their home. Wordlessly, he began to walk down it, silently signaling for her to follow him. She watched his back - broad-shouldered and strong - and took slow steps towards him, trailing behind him. Their shoes clacked against the cement as he led them to a park, much like the one where Sakura had professed her love for him before he left Konoha. She thought of that night as he finally sat down on a bench, watching her carefully before gesturing for her to sit beside him.

There was no way _in hell_ that the gods were not testing her.

She ignored the empty spot next to him, but her eyes moved to the space above his head. In the distance stood the Hokage Tower, the one light she knew so well still on. She could still see the blond-haired idiot crouching over the mountains of paperwork, stretching his back and standing up to get to his stash of ramen to keep him working throughout the night. Her jaw tightened when she saw - for the first time in a very long time - that the light he always kept on, finally went out.

"You better have a good reason for showing up without notice," she said, her voice hard.

"I came back for you-"

"I know that that's not true," she breathed, "because if it were, you would've been home _years_ ago, and I wouldn't have had to raise a daughter alone."

A tense silence permeated the air when Sakura finally turned to look at him and found that he had not changed in the slightest. He still wore that complacent expression, even when he was being berated. Sasuke made no move to defend himself, nor did he say anything to calm her nerves. Since they got married, whenever he became aware that he had hurt her feelings, he would stay silent until she said something. It wasn't constructive, it wasn't even _healthy_, but for him, that was the make up of a marriage. Sakura let out a sharp breath.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I know I was wrong."

"Then _say_ that," she spat, "don't wait around for me to give you an opportunity to talk. _You_ wanted to talk. _You_ wanted a chance to explain to me why the hell you decided to show up - in the middle of the night, no less - so, just _talk_."

It was Sakura's turn to silently stare at him, each passing second feeling so incredibly slow that she vaguely wondered if she should start saying something, after all. Just as her lips parted, Sasuke drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaning the back of his head against the bench he sat on. His eyebrows were knitted together, a sign that he was struggling considerably with his words. That, of course, was no surprise to Sakura. She crossed her arms, waiting, when he lifted his head and opened his eyes to look at her, a new glint in his eyes that she did not recognize as being authentically _his_.

"I want to fix what I did."

"You're gonna have to be more specific," she scoffed, "there were a lot of things you broke."

"Sakura," he uttered, "I want to be there for Sarada. For you."

"It took you fourteen years to realize that?"

"I did a lot of traveling-"

"Clearly."

"-and I understand now that my family is here. _You_ are here."

In most cases, the way he chose his words would have made her swoon, had he been the kind of person to keep his promises. There was a reason that he never made them, but there was a seeping anger that was bubbling in her blood. It was always _her_ that reached out to him, trying to get him to come back home. There was currently no war going on, and she certainly was no military wife. His eyes did not move from her face as he waited for her response, and she had to admit that that perseverance and tenacity was too much for her to simply ignore.

"Fine."

"Fine?" he asked, his tone mildly confused.

"Fine," she continued, "but you can't just walk into that house like you weren't gone for the last decade."

"It's our house." He said complacently, as though his statement were a matter of fact. Unfortunately, Sakura did not necessarily see it the way he did. She tightened her jaw and ignored his words, acting as though he hadn't even spoken.

"We have to figure out how to tell Sarada," she sighed, "because believe me, it's not going to be easy."

"Why can't I just talk to her?"

Sakura blinked, then cackled incredulously. "You've _got_ to be kidding."

"She's my daughter, too."

Sakura scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. What an _idiot_.

"Stay away from _my_ daughter," Sakura hissed, "at least until she's ready. Until I am."

Not giving him an opportunity to say another word, Sakura turned her heel and began walking back towards the house. He was right, of course, that it was technically _their_ house, but she wasn't going to let him have it. She had every right to be angry, to be cold towards him, and it was obvious to Sakura that he knew it, too. He did not chase after her as she made her way to the pathway that led up to the house, not that she was expecting him to.

Closing the door softly behind her, Sakura looked at the space before her that led up the stairs, then the hallway that led to Sarada's room, and was suddenly hit with the notion that the conversation she had just had was in fact, a real one, and not one borne of _genjutsu_. She held her head in her hands and rubbed her temples, trying to will the migraine to go away. This was supposed to be her day to rest, but she knew that it would be at least a little while before she got an ounce of rest. She sighed deeply.

As she dragged her feet up the stairs, she ran through Sasuke's words in her head. A heavy weight fell upon her chest and stayed there, even when she closed her bedroom door and sauntered to her bathroom. It was only when she looked at herself in the mirror that she realized she had been holding back tears. They welled up in her eyes and she felt a thickness in her throat that threatened to betray her in the form of a sob. Sakura took a deep, shaky breath, and forced herself to look in the mirror, trying to swallow back the tears that hadn't come out in _years_.

How was she going to face Sarada? She had spent the entirety of her daughter's life asking her to not hate her own father, and yet, the anger that had spent so much time in her blood now melted into her bones. Perhaps _hate_ wasn't the right word in her case, but of all times for her so-called husband to show his face, he apparently felt like he was doing the absolute right thing for his family by showing up now. Truthfully, Sakura wanted to laugh, as did most people who were too miserable to cry, because she had never met a person more selfish than Uchiha Sasuke.

Teaching her own daughter to not hate the father that abandoned her was one thing, but teaching _herself_ to keep loving someone who left her to raise a child alone was an entirely different battle. She was a grown woman who knew right from wrong, and even though that was a fact, there was plenty of room for doubt of the things that had once been crucial lessons as she grew older. Softly threading her fingers through her hair and pushing a lock behind her ear, Sakura drudged to the bed that, for the first time in over ten years, had felt colder than usual. The image of her husband danced behind her eyelids before she finally drifted off, dreaming of the night that he left Konoha. Her tears had stained her cheeks and for years, her heart had tried to heal.

Sacrifice was a ghost that still haunted Sakura, promising that it was always out of love.

* * *

"There's been rumors that there are some outposts that have been filled with suspicious activities. Our intel shows that it could be directly related to the production of _utsushō_, but we can't exactly… _confirm_ it yet."

Naruto huffed. "What does that mean, Shikamaru?"

"It means that while this is just speculation," the man who always looked half asleep said flatly, "there is a chance that this is what we're looking for."

"Why is there uncertainty?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow. "I mean, if there's intel suggesting that-"

"Because there's _another_ rumor that says they're fronting as traveling merchants."

"You're kidding," Naruto sighed, "_seriously_? Traveling merchants?"

"I know what you're thinking," Shikamaru answered, "which is why some of Sai's best agents are out there checking it out. We should be receiving a report in the next few days."

"I mean," Sakura sighed in exhaustion, "if you think about it, it kinda _does_ make sense that they would be fronting as traveling merchants."

"So they'd be selling _utsushō_ to their clients without being questioned?" Naruto asked.

"Exactly, but that doesn't mean a few won't get caught."

The Hokage leaned forward in his seat and gently pressed the heels of his palms to his closed eyes. Sakura had been pacing around his office for the last twenty minutes, and before that, she had been standing up for about an hour. This had to be one of the longest meetings that she's had with him so far, and the information she was being given did little to calm her nerves. She pushed back a lock of hair and tucked it behind her ear. When Shikamaru glanced at her, she bit her lip in frustration. If her teeth had sunk any more into her bottom lip, she'd be bleeding.

"How many people are out on the field right now?" Sakura asked.

"A small number." Shikamaru answered casually.

"How many?"

Naruto looked up from his hands and regarded her with curiosity. "Why are you asking?"

"If there's too little people," she said, "it would take too much time to do some recon. Shouldn't there be more people?"

"Sakura-" Shikamaru started, his tone warning.

"It's okay," Naruto waved him off, "she has a point."

"We can't draw too much attention."

"When did you get so stiff?" Naruto joked, but his advisor merely rolled his eyes. "I know you're concerned, Sakura, but we're just gathering information. You don't have to offer yourself up."

"How did you know-"

"It's you," he chuckled, "so you'd do anything to get things moving."

The silence that ensued was only awkward for Shikamaru. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as his eyes darted between the Hokage and the village's head medical ninja. It wasn't that Sakura hadn't noticed - because of course she had - but she felt as though she had a million things to say to Naruto that were stuck in her throat, that his advisor merely repeatedly glancing at her was not enough to make her prickle with nervous sweat. Having him there didn't make her nervous, but it certainly made the atmosphere a little weird. As though on cue, Shikamaru cleared his throat and straightened his posture, looking over at the Hokage with an unreadable expression.

"I have to check on a few things." he said swiftly, shooting another glance at Sakura. "I will be back later."

The door closed behind Sakura and thoughts crept into her head that he _really_ couldn't have run out of the Hokage's office fast enough. She drew in a deep breath and gave Naruto a smile before taking a few steps closer, an intense, unnamed emotion, pooling at the pit of her stomach. Perhaps it was guilt, or perhaps it was something akin to it, especially because now that she looked at _his_ smiling face, she remembered the night by the harbor. Her lips tingled although he had not touched them, and before she could say a word, he cleared his throat.

"So," he started, "Sasuke's back."

Her eyes widened by a fraction. "You knew."

"I'm the Hokage. I _have_ to know."

She let out a soft grunt and cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah. He's back."

"You must be happy."

When he said the words, the usual light in his eyes had dimmed. There was a flicker of something that looked similar to sadness, but the smile he wore did not betray him. Before she could answer his statement, he stood from his seat and leaned against the corner of his desk, much closer to her than if he had been sitting down. She felt her breath catch in her throat, but she forced herself to keep a neutral expression. Naruto was certainly _watching_ her, looking for any sign of… happiness? Relief? She wasn't sure, but whatever he was looking for, he didn't seem to find it.

"I'm surprised," she breathed finally, "to say the least. It's been fourteen years. For him to just show up…"

"But isn't that a good thing?"

She scoffed. "_Is_ it? I never told you this, but I was really mad about the way he left. He didn't even want to take me with him."

"Knowing him, he had his reasons."

"Then he shouldn't have asked me to marry him."

There was a sharpness in her words that made Naruto's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Of course, not having talked to the guy in fifteen years had made it so that there were bound to be things that he didn't know. The embarrassment she felt from her small outburst showed on her cheeks, and she opened her mouth to begin apologizing for being so forthright, but he waved his hand in an attempt to reassure her that it was okay.

"I'm just… frustrated." Sakura said finally, sighing.

"He left for a long time. I would be surprised if you weren't."

"Some things have changed about him," she said, "but I can't put my finger on it. Obviously, him being back may be good for Sarada, but…" she trailed off.

"But what?"

"I don't know if she's ready."

"She's been waiting her whole life to meet him."

"That means that during her whole life, she was constantly experiencing an internal struggle and had questions that she knew I couldn't answer. I don't know." She paused and drew in a deep breath. "I don't know what a _good_ mother would do."

Naruto didn't say a word but he pursed his lips and furrowed his brow, clearly deep in thought. Sakura glanced at his face and noted the worry lines that were starting to form on his forehead. Being Hokage was no easy feat, for sure. She averted her eyes to her crossed arms and searched her head for a way to diminish this _tension_ she felt emanating from him.

"I think," Naruto finally said, "she'd be really happy. Maybe a little angry. But for the most part, happy."

When he looked at her, Sakura remembered that all those years ago, he had been training to master the Nine Tails so that it didn't consume him. He had spoken of his encounter with his father, who turned out to be the Lord Fourth. Back when they still told each other everything, he had smiled when he spoke of Namikaze Minato, a man he was proud to call his father. His mother, who he described as a beautiful red-headed woman, had been completely different than what he expected. Still, he spoke of her with high regard, and had wished that she had had time to raise him. Sakura remembered tears welling in her eyes the day he told her, empathizing with him. Naturally, he would see any child as missing their parents as someone he could relate to, even if that connection was different than his circumstances. Sakura nodded slowly, considering his words carefully.

"Maybe in the next few days, then."

"Did he bring back a lot with him?"

"No," she shook her head, "just some sack. Can't imagine there was a lot in there."

Naruto frowned. "I have to tell you something."

"About what?"

"Sasuke."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "Okay? You hiding something?"

"Well," he chuckled, "not really hiding, because it was classified at the time… but now that you're working on this mission, I should tell you that I was having Sasuke do some personal recon for me."

"But he's been gone fourteen years."

"I only contacted him a few months ago."

Sakura blinked in disbelief. "You mean, Sasuke responded to _you_ and not to _me_? What the f-"

"He's also part of this mission." Naruto panicked, immediately standing up and holding his hands up as if in surrender. "I just needed him to check some things out-"

"When were you gonna tell me that you were in contact with the man who left his village - who left _me_ \- yet another time to repent for his sins?!" she shouted at him, her hot anger growing bigger with each second. "Naruto, I _swear_ to God-"

"I swear, Sakura-chan- he only answered a few days ago."

"You reached out to him months ago and he _only_ responded a few days ago?"

"Yeah," he responded sheepishly, still clearly afraid of her, "I thought it was weird but… that's what happened."

Letting out a sharp breath, Sakura had a hunch that Sasuke had wanted to make it appear as though he was redeeming himself, but he clearly had some other priorities that he intended to take care of first. God forbid, his family was merely a convenient stop along the way. It wasn't very much like him to say that he wanted to fix things, and yet, she still believed that a part of him was in fact, looking for atonement. She rubbed her temples.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Aw, don't say that!"

"I just- I can't get over that."

"You know that he doesn't do things half-assedly," Naruto reminded her, "so if he came to see you, it was because he _wanted_ to."

"I guess."

"Besides," Naruto said slowly, "I thought this would make you happy."

"I am!"

"Then why are you angry?"

"I'm just... " she thought for a moment, wondering when exactly talking with Naruto had started to feel normal again. "...in shock. I think I just have to…"

"Calm down?" Naruto offered, smirking.

She laughed good-humoredly. "Yeah. You're right."

"I always am!" he teased, copying her earlier statement.

"You could never be right like me," Sakura laughed, "because you have to have _five times_ the awareness that you do if you wanna be right all the time."

"That's funny, because you can be pretty dumb with figuring some things out."

"Me? Dumb? Who're you confusing me with?"

They both erupted into laughter and truthfully, Sakura had realized in that moment that she had been worried about their friendship over nothing. She had avoided him for fifteen years because she was ashamed of herself, but seeing the man that Naruto had turned out to be had made whatever pain she felt in the past disappear. Even with the family issues she had to deal with looming in the back of her head, reconnecting with Naruto in this manner had done wonders to the stress levels that she had been experiencing before.

"Hey," Naruto said, "we all need to go out for dinner."

"_That's_ what you're thinking about?"

"Sasuke's back, and you know. I think it'd be fun if you and Hinata spent some time together."

Sakura blinked. "Oh, so by 'we', you mean…"

"Yeah, the four of us."

The rose-haired woman could have sworn she felt her eye twitch. "Sounds _great_." She gritted the words through her teeth, and it was truly an amazing thing that Naruto didn't seem to take notice. He gave her a small smile, but there was something that seemed almost wrong with it. Of course, if she ever asked about it, she might open a can of worms that both she and he would rather stay shut. She cleared her throat.

"I think I should go."

"Oh, uh."

"Something wrong?"

In all the time that she had known Naruto, Sakura was aware of the fact that he was excellent at finding words to describe how he felt. It was one of the many things that she admired about him, especially because she found it difficult to voice her own feelings.

"About the other night…"

Sakura felt her heart drop to her stomach. "Yeah?" she squeaked.

"I'm sorry," he said solemnly, "I'm sure that me playing pranks as an adult isn't… endearing anymore."

"That was a prank." She said it more as a surprised statement than a question, but Naruto nodded cautiously.

"I, uh. I don't know…"

"It's okay to not know," Sakura whispered softly.

Naruto stammered. "I couldn't… I mean. It was late, we were tired… I'm really sorry."

"It's okay."

"I never want you to think that you're just… I want you to stay-" before he could finish his sentence, he stopped himself abruptly, as though he had revealed too much information.

Sakura cocked her head. "What are you...?"

Naruto's eyes widened in panic, but Sakura's expression was as confused as ever. As though suddenly aware that Shikamaru had left the room, Naruto moved behind his desk and sat back in his seat, sifting through documents and mumbling about Shikamaru was taking too long of a break. His hand moved in a flurry as he signed documents - the fastest she'd ever seen them move when it didn't involve _ninjutsu_ \- and taking that as her cue, Sakura began moving towards the door. Just as her fingers touched the doorknob, he uttered her name.

"Sakura-chan, everything's gonna be fine, y'know."

She blinked, still a little blindsided. "I know. Thanks."

Pulling the door behind her until she heard a click, Sakura stared at the wall before her and furrowed her brow. Surely, that was one of the _weirder_ encounters that she'd had with him in the entire time she knew him. Making her way down to the ground floor, she walked slowly back to her new office, which was much more spacious than she'd anticipated. There was room for a mini tea station, which Yuzuru had beamed about. As soon as she entered her office, Yuzuru was already waiting for her on the leather sofa that would have been used for official business.

He spoke of updated reports about patients in the east wing, of documents that she needed to look over and sign before deadlines, and even of meetings that were coming up for her in the next few weeks for medical ninjas from other countries. Nodding as though she heard him, Sakura moved to sit in her chair and leaned her back against it, resting her arms on either side of the chair. Yuzuru had begun walking towards her, placing a few folders onto her desk but his words were garbled in her ears. She looked up at him, but her disciple offered no indication that he was going to repeat anything he was going to say. Instead, he smiled, bowed, and left the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Sakura rubbed circles in her temples and closed her eyes, trying to convince herself that what she had just heard was a figment of her imagination. There was no way that Naruto had been insinuating anything - and yet, she repeated the phrase in her head, trying to understand what the hell it meant. She had never been one to read into things, and so, after taking a few deep breaths and slapping her own face to draw focus to her work, she filed away his words in the dark pits of her mind, telling herself they would never see the light of day because they didn't _mean_ anything.

Of course, Naruto had had a point when he revealed that she was absolutely oblivious to a choice of things.

* * *

The Second Tsunade had been hunched over her desk, signing documents and looking through files, for such a long time, that she hardly noticed when Yuzuru stepped into her office to turn on the light and brought her some food from the vending machine. It was only when he called her name for the fourth time that she finally looked up, her eyes slightly hazy from having been reading for so long. He offered her an encouraging smile and set down the pastry in front of her, next to her cup of peppermint tea.

"How long have I been working?" she said warily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"A few hours."

"Nonstop?

"Nonstop."

Sakura groaned and leaned back in her chair, sensing that some sort of vacation was needed in the near future. She looked at Yuzuru through half-lidded eyes and gave him a small smile. The young man didn't respond by saying anything, but instead, sat in the chair across from her desk and rested his arms on the arm rests. The lines in his face seemed deeper, even though he was only nineteen. When Sakura wasn't doing extra research, he was doing it for her. Surely enough, the guilt had hit her hard, just as many things were, lately.

"Are you alright?" Yuzuru asked softly. "You've been in kind of a funk since this morning."

"This morning?" Sakura repeated, confused.

"You came into the office looking like you had a hangover, or something."

"Oh."

"So," he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, "_are_ you alright?"

"It's just been… really stressful."

"All the research?"

Sakura smiled curtly. "Among other things."

"What did Lord Seventh say?"

"Apparently," Sakura sighed, "there are already some ANBU agents that are looking into some rumors that we got. I can't do much right now, except keep doing more research so that we can know things for sure."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"How is it good? We have to wait until we're _allowed_ to be dispatched."

"Maybe it's to protect you."

"He knows what I'm capable of," she said, her voice hard, "there's no _need_ to protect me."

The young man huffed but didn't say anything more. He looked at the piles of documents on her desk and his brow furrowed, clearly concerned. Working in close quarters with his _shishou_ ensured that he recognized when her behavior was different, but it worked the other way, too. Sakura could tell he wanted to say something, but forcing it out of him was not going to get them anywhere. She waited, watching the word bubbling at the tip of his tongue before he finally opened his mouth.

"Did something happen after I left yesterday?"

"No," Sakura lied, "why do you ask?"

"Um. Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He looked at her directly now, something more than just concern reflected in his eyes. "It's just… after I left, I saw something."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What did you see?"

"Well," he uttered, "you know that park that leads up to your house? I saw… someone sitting there. And, he had black hair and was wearing a cloak-"

"Carrying some kind of sack?"

"Yeah! Who was that?"

Sakura smiled, although a tinge of sadness touched it, and she leaned forward and rested her chin in her palms. Curiosity had spread through to Yuzuru's face, and that hint of concern had gone away at his _shishou_ essentially confirming that the person he saw was no danger to her. Not physically, anyway. She drew in a breath through her nose and her smile fell from her face. "That was my husband."

Just as suddenly as the curiosity lit his face, it left and was replaced with an emotion that Sakura had never seen him wear. She nodded, wordlessly agreeing with whatever it was that he was feeling. It couldn't have been hard to figure out, considering that Yuzuru had just the slightest idea of how she felt about her own marriage and being addressed by her maiden name. The room was silent, and her disciple would not take his eyes off her for a few minutes until she sighed in exasperation.

"He's back?" he finally choked out.

"It seems so."

"Does Sarada-chan…?"

"No," she shook her head, "not yet. I don't know how to tell her."

Yuzuru nodded, showcasing his understanding at her desire to protect her daughter. "I can only imagine."

"Can I ask you something?" When Yuzuru nodded, Sakura sat up straighter in her seat. "If your dad came home the way my husband did… would you have wanted to know immediately?"

"Yes."

Sakura blinked in surprise. "Really?"

"He may have abandoned me, but he's still my dad," he said solemnly, "and… even now, a part of me wonders what kind of man he is."

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, because even now, I wish he could see what I've become. When it comes to that, I really wish he could be proud of me. Believe me, it _matters_."

Taking a deep breath, Sakura swiveled her chair to face the window behind her, absorbing both the words of her old friend as well as her disciple. Deep down, she knew they were right; if she didn't play her cards carefully, Sarada would end up not being able to forgive her. She was always saying how she wanted the best for her daughter, how she wanted her to grow into the best version of herself despite raising her alone. Often, she felt incompetent at the task, but not telling her daughter that her estranged father was now back in town… well. That would certainly complicate her family life even more.

"You know," she started, still staring out the window at the town below, "the night he left Konoha, I begged him to stay."

"Really?"

"Mhhm, but obviously, he left, anyway."

She couldn't hear an answer coming from him, but she heard him shuffle in his seat. If he was going to understand her better, he had to know this.

"He's always leaving," she continued, "and maybe, it was understandable at a certain time. But we're older now, we have a daughter now…"

In the hallways, they heard the voices of the nurses bidding farewell to each other as they finished their shifts. They laughed as they left the building, leaving a haunting silence outside her office door. Sakura turned back around to face her disciple, whose eyes were alive with a fervor that almost looked like anger. She exhaled softly and offered a smile, trying to diffuse the tension. Yuzuru didn't let up though, and he tightened his jaw as he processed her words. When he didn't say anything, she continued.

"For him to show up like that was a surprise, yes. I don't really know how to feel about it… but he's back now, so that counts for something… right?"

"Maybe."

"Why maybe?"

"Unless he's back to actually fix things," Yuzuru said slowly, "then I think you have every right to be as upset as you are."

"So I've heard."

"You don't have to forgive him," he reminded her, "but you do have to give him a chance to know Sarada-chan."

"I do think the most important thing is my daughter," Sakura agreed with him, "and if he's going to screw that up…"

"What if he doesn't?"

"What if he _does_?" she countered a little too defensively. "He messed up once, and it _broke_ her-" she took a breath to calm herself down, remembering having to answer questions to a five-year-old about a father who had left her behind. She sniffled, but no more words would come out.

"Maybe he wants to do better," Yuzuru softly uttered, "maybe he really has realized what he's done wrong."

"I hope you're right," his shishou replied dismissively, no longer wanting to indulge in the drama that she tried hard not to think about, "because I thought maybe I was an idiot for still wanting to believe in him."

"You still love him, right?"

Sakura didn't answer, but the hesitance was enough for a look of sympathy to wash over Yuzuru's face. She didn't _not_ love him, but time and time again, she had to ask herself if she loved him, or if she loved the idea of being with someone who, once he loved someone, loved them so deeply that it destroyed him from the inside out. Growing up as a girl in Fire Country, it was often the custom in young girls to have crushes on boys who paid no attention to them. At some point, both parties would grow out of it, and more often than not, it was hard to tell whether she, or Sasuke, had done so.

"If you could choose a different life, would you?" Yuzuru asked instead, his expression showing that he was trying to tread carefully.

"I don't like that question," Sakura replied flatly, "because even if I would, I can't change my present. _This_ is my life now, so please," she huffed, "don't ever ask me that again."

Her disciple nodded sympathetically and rose from his seat to excuse himself. He bowed his head and bade her goodnight, but before his hand touched the door, the buzz of the intercom on her desk resounded in her office, making them both turn to look. Yuzuru's eyes darted from the telephone to her face, raising his eyebrows as if questioning whether or not she was going to answer. Sakura sighed and her hand reached forward to put the phone on speaker.

"Yes?"

"_Ms. Haruno, there's someone… here to see you_."

Spearmint eyes gave a side glance to the clock on the desk, reading 9PM.

"All shifts have ended for the day," Sakura replied diplomatically, "would you please ask them what this is in regards to? If it can wait until tomorrow morning, please tell them so."

"_Um, that's the thing. They stopped by Mr. Kirishima's desk but he wasn't there… is he in your office?_"

At the mention of his surname, Yuzuru raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm here," he called from the other side of the room. "Who is it?"

"_Ah, he says his name is Uchiha Sasuke._"

Yuzuru scoffed near the door and folded his arms before him, giving Sakura a knowing look. His shishou let out a sharp breath, almost as if to say 'of course he would show up here'. Her hands motioned for her disciple to sit down on the sofa. Obviously, she was trying to avoid proper alone time with her so-called husband, so that she would no longer be confused about whether or not she loved him. Another reason for her caution may or may not have had to do with Yuzuru's words about a father abandoning his child. She cleared her throat.

"Send him up."

With a soft click on the other end, it was only Sakura and Yuzuru in the room again and he looked at her curiously. "Wouldn't everyone know who Uchiha Sasuke? How does she not know?"

"Because not everyone studied as hard as you did in school," Sakura chuckled, "but it's fine. Honest mistake."

The dark-haired man shrugged as though it didn't bother him, but because he was a person who genuinely cared about history, Sakura could imagine that it more than irritated him that someone didn't know who Sasuke was, especially if they didn't know that he was her husband. She drummed her fingers against her cheekbones and waited for the _ding!_ of the elevator before finally, Sasuke appeared at the door, giving a light knock.

"Come in." Sakura called out.

When he opened the door, his gaze first fell to Yuzuru, whose usual pleasant demeanor had changed to something somewhat a little more hostile. He tightened his jaw as Sasuke approached him, looking him up and down. _Some things never change_, Sakura thought vaguely to herself, and found herself surprised when the Uchiha extended his hand to her disciple, looking for an introduction. He gave a small smile - the kind that was only used to be polite - and introduced himself.

"Sasuke. Who are you?"

"Kirishima Yuzuru," her disciple answered coolly, "I'm Ms. Haruno's disciple."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in question. "Ms. Haruno?"

Yuzuru shot a glance at her, though she wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean. Standing up from her desk, she cleared her throat to get Sasuke's attention, whose expression was still suspicious as to why people didn't seem to address her with his surname. He removed his gloved hand from Yuzuru's and took a few steps forward, looking around at the pristine walls that revealed art, some scrolls, and her certificate as a medical ninja.

"Nice office," he said plainly, "is it new?"

Sakura's voice had come out smaller than expected. "Yes."

No more words left his lips as he came closer now, the same nonchalant expression plastered on his face. Behind him, Sakura could see Yuzuru's own face twist with in disdain. Perhaps telling him her version of the story hadn't helped in trying to alleviate the tension she felt, because now every time she would look at Yuzuru, she would know that he didn't quite like him. Pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Sakura forced herself to look down at her desk as she felt Sasuke finally be close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

"What're you doing here?" she practically hissed. "I told you to make yourself practically invisible, and then you show up at my office."

"Your employees don't seem to know who I am."

"There's no need for them to know who you are."

"Sakura," Sasuke sighed, "I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"Which is?"

"Walk you home."

Wide, spearmint eyes looked up then, an incredulity painted on them. "Are you _crazy_? If Sarada sees-"

"She won't."

"How the hell do _you_ know?"

"I'll only walk you back up until the park," he said calmly, "I swear. I just wanted to see my wife."

When they had first gotten married, hearing Sasuke refer to her as his 'wife' had been a dream come true, but now that she was older and had a better sense of what was healthy and what wasn't, it felt overused. He never spoke her name with reverence the way she once spoke his, and she always used to tell herself that he loved her, even if he didn't show it as much as she would have liked him to. Her involuntary reaction had her scowling at her words, but Sasuke was quick to remedy it with such simple words.

"Give me a chance."

At his words, Sakura glanced one more time at Yuzuru, whose eyes were glued to the floor. _Of course he's not going to get involved_, she told herself._ I'm a grown woman. It's my choice_. She took a deep breath.

"Okay," she uttered, "but just this once. You promised you'd stay away from her."

Sasuke merely nodded and turned heel to walk out of her office, presumably waiting for her by the elevator. When the door closed behind him, Yuzuru let out a puff of air that sounded like a scoff, his face contorted into one of disbelief. "Are you _serious_?" he asked incredulously. "_He's_ your husband? Ms. Haruno-"

"I don't wanna hear it," she said softly as she packed her things, "because he's still my husband. So please, forgive me."

Yuzuru's jaw had practically fallen to the floor as she swooped out of her office, her bag in hand. Quickly making her way to the elevator and hitting the button, she stood in silence with Sasuke, which had always made her feel somewhat awkward, though she never said it out loud before. She often kept her laughs to a minimum around him, mainly because he didn't understand her sense of humor. Whenever she used to find something funny, she would chuckle to herself and always wished for someone that she could share her laughter with. She let out a sigh and was absolutely taken back when she felt Sasuke lace his own fingers with hers.

"What are you doing?" she asked coldly as the elevator doors opened.

Sasuke's expression was mildly surprised. "Holding your hand?"

"Well, don't."

They were both silent for the next ten minutes, even as they began walking towards the park that was closest to the house. Sakura had made sure to always stay at least half a step ahead of him. He said he wanted to walk her home, but never said anything about holding her hand or acting lovey-dovey in public. She had been young once, and she had craved for that affection so much, that because he never gave it, she stopped expecting it. In a way, he had made her harder than stone.

"I'm sorry," he uttered as they approached the pathway that led up to the house, "I just wanted this time to be different."

"What do you mean 'this time'?"

"I've always been kind of cold to you-"

"Kind of?" Sakura scoffed. "Try 'really'."

"Yeah, well," he breathed, "I want to give that to you now."

"You've been married to me for fourteen years and _now_ you want to hold hands?"

Sasuke was never good with words. Instead of answering her question, he held out his hand as an invitation to her, even though he promised that he only would walk her up to this point in the journey back home. Spearmint eyes pierced through him, as though trying to read what was really on his mind, but his gaze did not waver, nor did his hand. If this was some sort of trap, Sakura felt herself starting to fall in. Her fingers itched for his touch, and before she knew it, she had not grabbed his hand, but had thrown herself into his arms and hugged him around the waist.

It was familiar, it was something she remembered well - but there was something missing, even when Sasuke moved his hands to stroke her hair. Tears began to prickle her eyes and she sniffled, causing Sasuke to make an attempt at reassuring her that he was home now, that he was going to stay beside her. Perhaps it was because his homecoming had been so abrupt that it gave her no time to really react, or perhaps it was because there was a part of her that was screaming at her that she was lying to herself, but she let him hold her.

Uttering half-whispered promises against her hair, she could feel him hold her tighter, but her eyes that were full of tears were not buried in his shoulder, but rather looking past them. They followed a trail of trees that eventually led up to a high peak in the short distance, otherwise known as the view of the Hokage Tower from where they stood. She watched the light that always stayed on, praying that it wouldn't go out again, and when it did, she felt her heart sink with the darkness.

"I promise to try," Sasuke whispered, "I swear."

_If he's going to try_, she thought to herself, eyes still glued to the Hokage Tower, _then I have to, too._

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	7. Tribute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plagued by worry and sleepless nights yet again, Sakura does her best to focus on training her apprentice, when she runs into Naruto- completely on accident. Spending the day with him really shouldn't feel so _natural_.

If she were to ask everyone she knew about her sleeping habits, they would generally agree that she was terrible at what most people around here were pretty good at. Most nights, it was beyond impossible for her to fall asleep even when her head hit her pillows, which resulted in her lying awake for hours on end before her body finally gave in. Prior to her husband showing up quite literally at her front door, she only had to worry about her work at the hospital as well as missions that she had been assigned. The last few nights that she spent at home instead of her office had bore to fruition an irrational fear that Sasuke was going to ignore her demands to stay away from Sarada. She never heard the knock on the front door and she never felt his chakra in her presence in the middle of the night, but somehow, she knew he was there. Perhaps, under the guise of protecting her daughter, she was simply waiting for him to betray her. _Again_.

If she loved him as much as she tried to convince other people she did, knowing he came back for her would have given her comfort. It was in moments like these that she wished to be able to live in ignorant bliss. At least that way, she wouldn't have to worry about whether or not she was happy. She sighed as her ears vaguely picked up on a beeping noise, but her feet stayed where they were. Spearmint eyes regarded the vending machine before her with great consideration, wondering if it made a difference that _this_ was the only choice in her life that she felt she could make without hurting anyone else.

"Ms. Haruno," Yuzuru called out softly, "your hot water is done."

Sakura blinked slowly, turning her head towards her disciple who was sitting at one of the tables in the kitchenette. "What?"

"That beeping… it means it's done."

Without a word, Sakura took three steps towards the kettle - the damn thing that _beeped_ when it was done boiling water - and reached for the cabinet above her and pulled out a mug. Her eyes moved beside the kettle and saw that there was already a _matcha_ packet laid out for her. Nimble fingers reached for the corners and quickly tore it open, dipping the tea bag into the mug and tying the thread around the handle to secure it. The pink-haired woman only lifted her head slightly to now focus on lifting the kettle to pour the boiling water and watched her cup slowly turn a deep green-brown, but what was _bothering_ her was that Yuzuru was not saying anything in this unbearable silence. She cleared her throat in an attempt to get him to say something, but no words came from his lips.

"Everything okay?" Sakura asked quietly as she set down the kettle, pressing her palms to the counter, listening to him shuffle his feet uncomfortably.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he replied, a tinge of awkwardness in his voice. "You've barely said anything these last few days."

Finally, she turned around to look at him, but she had no real desire to answer his question. Instead, she bit her lip and furrowed her brow, her eyes lighting up with the realization that she wanted a little bit of brown sugar in her tea. She cleared her throat and with one hand, opened the drawer directly behind her and pulled out the sugar packs as well as a spoon. Without uttering a single word, she turned back around to face her steaming cup of tea and poured in the sugar, stirring with the spoon in earnest. She had never been good at the patience game, but the fact that Yuzuru had still not said anything was almost commendable. Hesitating, she drew in a deep breath and spoke. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Not sleeping?"

"No."

"What about your… uh-"

"My husband?" Sakura finished the thought for him, turning around to finally look him in the eye and see that he was genuinely and absolutely worried about her. "He seems to be doing fine."

Yuzuru blinked. "Seems? Is he not staying with you?"

"We're working it out," the _shishou_ waved her hand dismissively, "but it's fine. Everything is fine."

The biggest suffering that Sakura had to endure was loving Uchiha Sasuke. Even when he had tried to kill her on multiple, separate accounts, she had chosen to keep loving the parts of him that she convinced herself were there, shrouded in a darkness he needed help to get out of. They had exchanged their vows and she had accepted that she had a duty as a wife, just as he did as a husband. There was something nagging at her that she had hoped would go away in the fourteen years that he had been gone, but it came back just as suddenly as he did. To her, and to everyone else with common sense, something was missing.

It had been about a minute before Sakura realized that she had merely been staring at Yuzuru, who was now _very_ visibly uncomfortable. She offered him an encouraging smile. "Are you ready to start training?"

"Are you sure you want to do this today?" he sputtered. "You don't really seem like yourself."

"It's just the basics, Yuzuru," Sakura replied, "since this requires a chakra control that's different than _taijutsu_. It's better to get a head start."

"But-"

"There's no but. We're starting _today_."

Yuzuru winced at the hard way she enunciated her words, but he nodded, nonetheless. Quickly shuffling his way over to the water dispenser, he poured himself a cup of water and downed it like he was downing a shot. Curiously, Sakura raised her eyebrow but didn't say a word as she watched him nervously try to calm down. When he accidentally made eye contact with her, she offered a smile, as genuinely as she could. When his shoulders visibly relaxed before her eyes, it dawned on her that he wasn't nervous about training, but that he was genuinely worried about her demeanor that was so different than it usually was.

"You know," she started slowly, "I'm not pressuring you."

"Oh," he breathed, "I… I see."

"I don't want you to think that I'm being forceful or anything. I just really believe that you're ready to start learning."

"_Shishou_," Yuzuru whispered, "I've been wanting to be like you for _years_. I'm so grateful you want to teach me."

"Great! Then-"

"But I have to wonder if you really are okay. You're not just a _shishou_ to me, you're someone that I care about, too." Brown eyes filled with fervor pierced through Sakura as he showcased his resolve. The pink-haired woman gulped, thinking that there was something incredibly familiar about the way he looked at her, but Yuzuru did not tear his eyes away. "You're trying to distract yourself, so I'm worried that you're not teaching me to the best of your ability."

At his proposition that she might be unable to impart her wisdom effectively to him on this particular day, Sakura cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. She wasn't _angry_, to say the least, but she _was_ a little annoyed that he would insinuate something that was so unlike her in the first place. A deep breath was drawn through her lips and she settled her gaze on him steadily. "Whatever may be happening in my personal life, I take learning _very_ seriously. When you asked me to train you, I had every intention of carrying it out. You don't have to worry, but don't you dare tell me that I am in no condition to teach you right now." The words had practically left her in a growl, but she clenched her teeth in order to keep that ferocious expression on her face. Yuzuru softened and his shoulders slumped just the slightest bit.

The young man raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose - surely a habit he picked up from her - and took a deep breath. "You're right," he uttered sheepishly, "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

If Sakura had been in his place while she was training under Tsunade - which had happened _many_ times before - she would have been reprimanded heavily. Though she loved her own _shishou_, she recognized that their methods were different. There were some things that she borrowed from The Slug Princess, but her explosive anger was not going to be one of them. At least, not _all_ the time. Sakura let out a harsh exhale and regarded her disciple with consideration. Finally, she set down her mug in the sink behind her and straightened her back.

"I'm heading to Tenten's shop," she said, her tone a tinge diplomatic, "I want you to join me there when you're ready." A beat after she started to walk away from him, she turned around again. "Don't take too long. We don't have all day."

Sakura had left him slack-jawed, and so clearly confused. Her heels clacked against the linoleum while she made her way through the hospital towards the exit. The nurses that she passed on her way out had bowed to her and bade her good morning, and she answered in earnest with curt nods and polite smiles. With her autumn jacket still on from when she came into the hospital earlier that morning, she pulled it tighter around her as the automatic doors at the exit opened and a gust of cold air bit her cheeks.

She couldn't _stand_ the cold.

Stuffing her hands into her pocket, she made the somewhat long journey towards Tenten's weaponry and smiled at the bright-eyed, brown-haired woman who spotted her almost as soon as she came into view. Approaching closer, Sakura noted that Tenten had disappeared into her shop before coming out again with a cup of something that was hot. She would've laughed if it wasn't so damn cold, but she opted for focusing on the steaming cup of tea that she knew her old classmate had prepared for her. When she finally set foot on the premises, Tenten ushered her inside the shop which had, much to Sakura's surprise, had installed a new automatic door with a touchpad on it.

"That's sssavvy," she shivered, "i-is it n-new?"

"Why don't you ask questions once you've had a sip?"

Tenten pressed her fingers to the touchpad and the door opened to reveal her now upgraded shop with some extra scrolls and a few extraordinary kunais and knives that were now for sale. Sakura eyed the shelving of her shop and had to admit that she was incredibly impressed with how well business was going. Tenten had cleared her throat and when Sakura turned her head to look at her, she saw the hot cup of tea in her classmate's hands instead. She smiled sheepishly. "S-sorry," she said, "d-didn't want t-to be a b-bother. P-plus, I've… al-already-"

"You're shivering. Don't be ridiculous."

The freshly boiled tea burned the tip of her tongue, but Sakura merely winced as she slowly sipped her way through to the end of the cup. Tenten was standing at one of her display counters and was examining some kind of metal, barely saying a word, which if Sakura remembered correctly, wasn't exactly like the old Tenten at all. Still holding her cup, she quickly shimmied out of her jacket and left it on her seat as she stood up and walked over to a particular set of scrolls in the back.

The space that was shown to the public was a somewhat small one, but Sakura knew that Tenten had a back room where she did all her repairs for her customers and all her records were back there. She hummed as she moved throughout the shop, admiring the work that her classmate had put into fixing things up and running one of the best weaponries throughout Konoha, and even throughout the Land of Fire. Her wide eyes had focused on a set of peculiar looking kunais that had writing carved into them, set in an open box that was _seemingly_ on display, but they appeared to be waiting for someone to pick them up. Sakura furrowed her brow, trying to read the inscriptions when Tenten spoke up, interrupting her thoughts.

"Those belonged to the Fourth."

"What?" Sakura asked in surprise. "These? They're so unique."

"That's because they are." The brown-haired woman replied, finally looking up. "Apparently, those kunais are how he became known as The Yellow Flash."

Spearmint eyes widened. "Really? How?"

"The inscriptions on those kunai were _fūinjutsu_."

"Oh?"

"I know," Tenten laughed, "it's pretty intense. You should ask The Seventh about it."

"Naruto?" Sakura said incredulously. "He's the one that told you this?"

"Sent them here to be polished," she shrugged, "said he had a few others that belonged to him but wanted to get these ones done first."

"The Fourth, huh." Sakura whispered to herself, her eyes running over the unique curve of the blades and the inscriptions engraved into them. It was inconceivable to think that Tenten _didn't_ know that the Fourth Hokage was Naruto's father, but Sakura wasn't about to blabber it out loud just in case she really didn't know. She remembered the easy smile that Namikaze Minato had worn during the war when he laid eyes upon his son, but she also remembered the off-handed girlfriend comment that he made _right in front of her_. Her cheeks tinged pink at the memory, wondering if that's what it really looked like.

The gleam of the metal made her fingers itch to touch them, merely because she wanted to know if they _felt_ the same as regular kunais, but as soon as she raised her hand, she heard the automatic door slide open. Moving her head to see who it was, she felt her heart thump when a mess of blond hair was in her line of vision, whose dark jacket seemed to be way too thin for him.

"Lord Seventh," Tenten admonished, "it's getting colder outside. You gotta stop wearing that one, Hinata asked me to warn you since you _obviously_ don't listen to her."

"She worries too much," Naruto said casually, "and you don't have to call me that."

"Don't get smart."

The atmosphere in the front part of the weaponry had grown tense when blue eyes settled on Sakura, who swore that her legs were suddenly threatening to give out beneath her. His lips spread into a small smile as he took a few steps towards her and the pink-haired woman was suddenly aware of the fact that she was _still_ standing in front of the box that displayed the Fourth Hokage's unique kunais. Although she hadn't said a word, she offered him a smile before his eyes moved to the box on the counter and his blue eyes dulled a little. "Oh." He obviously meant for more to come out, but his lips just weren't working.

_Dear god._

Sakura closed her eyes and willed whatever she was just thinking about his lips to go away, and opened her eyes again to find that Naruto had picked up one of the kunais and was turning it around in his hands. He glanced at her and gave another smile. "What're you doing here?"

"Waiting for Yuzuru."

"You're waiting for him at a weaponry?"

She laughed nervously. "It's for, uh. Some training."

"Oh, right," Naruto said, coming to a realization, "this place was that market that Granny used to own, right?"

"She didn't own it," she corrected him, "but she knew the people that gave her access to the basement."

Naruto snorted. "Access to the basement, huh?"

"Shut up," Sakura laughed, "I was actually trained here. I just thought I'd use the same space for Yuzuru. Hope that's okay, Tenten." The pink-haired woman called out to her classmate, who merely waved her hand in agreement as she continued examining the metal she had been looking at. "Clearly, I'm very welcome here," she joked.

"Training, huh?" Naruto inquired. "Medical?"

"Of course. Can't train him in Lady Tsunade's freakish chakra-filled punches in a basement, after all."

"That's right," the blond laughed, "you'd need a whole damn forest."

They both chuckled at the memory of Sakura's body being flailed about in the early stages of her training. Naruto hadn't been there at the time, of course, but whenever they met up and she still had bruises on her skin, she had no choice but to tell him about her intense training regimens. In the time of their youth, Naruto surprisingly had a strong belief in ointments and balms that he only obtained once she started training, which was ironic because he never seemed to use them himself. It was almost as if he only got them in case _she_ got hurt, but that was a thought she didn't touch on in fear that he would be able to read it on her face. She cleared her throat and looked pointedly at the blade in his large hands. "Those kunai are unique."

Naruto glanced behind him only to find that Tenten was already on the phone and was speaking with what sounded like a customer that didn't reside in Konoha. He smirked as he turned back around to her, his eyes soft. "They were my dad's."

"So I've been told."

"Tenten knows he's my dad?"

"No, no," Sakura shook her head, "just that they belonged to The Yellow Flash, but I didn't know you were using his technique."

"I got my mom's last name," he uttered, "so it only seemed fair that I got his secret technique, right?"

His fingers brushed the hilt and without thinking, Sakura held out her hands and looked up at him, eyes filled with the kind of curiosity that always showed itself when she was just learning to become an _iryō_ ninja. Wordlessly, blue eyes looked up at her and regarded her with a softness before Naruto gently placed the dagger in her hands.

"Feels light," Sakura noted surprisingly, "but I guess that makes sense if he used it for _Hiraishin_."

"Ero-sennin told me that he developed it on his own," he chuckled, "so he really was kinda like a prodigy."

Lithe fingers skimmed the inscriptions that indicated a seal that, as though just by touching it, Sakura would understand the craft more. Before she could open her mouth to ask him, Naruto's index finger pointed to an engraving at the bottom end of the hilt and spoke in hushed tones. "My mom taught him this." His foot took one step closer to her and Sakura quietly breathed in the peppermint scent that came off him, vaguely wondering if it came from his old hobby of gardening. Her breath hitched in her throat when she looked up at him and she found that he wasn't looking at the kunai, but rather, directly _at_ her.

"She… she did?" she croaked. "That's… she must have…. Loved him a lot."

"She did," he breathed, "but he also wanted to learn it."

"Why's that?"

"He told me," the blond whispered, his eyes studying her face, "that he wanted to protect her, since she was…"

"A Jinchuuriki," Sakura finished, "right."

In the past, she had always worried about his well-being, and was always able to instantly tell when something was wrong: if he was too quiet, too rigid, too harsh - she would know that something was bothering him. During a time that she was still allowed to, she comforted him and he had opened up to her, and soon enough, even before he was able to react to something that upset him, Sakura would already be there, waiting for him to confide in her. Now, as she looked into his eyes, there was a softness she had not seen in years, one that she recognized as having been only for _her_, or at least, she _wished_ it had been. As she opened her mouth to say something, she saw his eyes dart to her lips before he licked his own.

Her skin pricked with goosebumps at the gesture, and she let out a soft exhale in order to collect herself. She cleared her throat and looked back down at the kunai, breaking the reverie that they both were just in. "It's…. It's beautiful." When her eyes fell upon the hilt, a small gust of disappointment hit her when she saw that Naruto drew his hand away.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "I-I'm glad you think so, too."

She knew she shouldn't. In fact, every single thought that entered her head was warning her that they were _both_ married, and a love that she had buried fifteen years ago was _not_ going to resurface just because he was looking at her… the way he did. As though reading her mind, Naruto gave her a sympathetic smile and took a step back, gently taking the kunai from her hands and placing it back inside the box on the counter. They chuckled awkwardly as they looked at each other, wondering what was appropriate enough to say out loud, but thankfully, it was short lived when they heard Tenten call out Sakura's name.

"Someone's here for you," she said, her expression neutral, "I think it's your student."

"Oh," she breathed, "right." She waved a hand, signaling him to come inside. He put up his hood from his coat and his teeth appeared to be chattering, but as soon as he entered the door, his features visibly softened as the warmth of the shop washed over his skin.

Upon seeing Tenten at the counter, he bowed politely and rubbed his hands together before blowing on them in an attempt to warm them up. He sighed as he took off his coat and laid it on the seat next to his _shishou_'s, but when he looked at her - and saw that she was standing _dangerously_ close to the Seventh Hokage - his brown eyes widened by a fraction. Not enough for someone who didn't know him to notice, but Sakura _definitely_ noticed. He looked as though he was a stray dog who had been caught rummaging through the trash bins for food. Naruto, ever the man who never knew the meaning of embarrassment, now stood before her with slightly reddened cheeks as he took a few more steps backwards, covering his blush with his signature wide smile.

"Yuzuru!" He exclaimed. "Sakura-chan's been waiting for you."

"Right," the younger man said slowly, "um. In the weaponry? Is there something here?"

"Yes," Sakura chimed in, "this is Tenten's weaponry, but it used to be a market with a basement."

"A basement?" Yuzuru queried. "For what, exactly?"

"Lady Tsunade used to train me here," the pink-haired woman replied as she took a step towards her disciple, "and I thought that maybe you starting to learn _here_ would be good for you. It has everything we need."

"A… weaponry."

Spearmint eyes rolled. "Yes. A weaponry. You'd think that you'd be weirded out knowing that it used to be a _market_."

"Well, no, because markets had herbs that would be used for this."

Both blue and spearmint eyes stared at him, then glanced at each other, realizing that he was right. What Tsunade had thought was a _good_ front for hiding her private chambers was actually a terrible disguise for those that knew what they were looking for. No one probably thought to advise her because she was a formidable kunoichi and therefore knew what she was doing, or because she was terrifying and no one had been brave enough to tell her to discard the idea. Naruto's laughter burst out of him, which caught Tenten's attention before she started smirking to herself, too.

"I… Okay, you're right," Sakura admitted, "but now it's not obvious, right?"

"No… I guess not."

The pink-haired woman clapped her hands together as though finally satisfied. From the corner of her eye, she saw Tenten signal her to access the secret basement that was once Tsunade's private chambers. Beginning to walk towards the back room where she knew there was a seal that her _shishou_ still had intact, she was abruptly stopped by a hand that tugged at her wrist. When she turned to face the man she once thought of as her best friend, she raised her eyebrows at him in curiosity.

"Something you need?" She asked casually, as though she hadn't just been vaguely thinking about his lips.

"You mind if I sit in on his training?"

The woman blinked. "You wanna watch? Why?"

Wide, broad shoulders shrugged. "I've always wondered what _iryōninjutsu_ training looked like." He only paused for a beat before he gave her a hesitant smile and his hand rubbed the back of his neck. "You always made it look easy, but I know it wasn't…. So I want to see."

Yuzuru cleared his throat but when Sakura glanced at him, he merely stood in his spot with his feet glued to the floor, and his eyes were looking at anywhere _but_ them. Her disciple's demeanor towards the Seventh was a completely different one when compared to Sasuke, though it seemed that the reason was obvious, in that Naruto was the Hokage, and Sasuke was - well, merely her husband. She could have snorted at the thought, but Naruto's eyes were now set on her, a hopefulness touching the vibrant blue. A small smile spread across her lips.

"Looks like you have an audience, Yuzuru."

* * *

There was a reason that _iryōninjutsu_ was not for everyone to learn.

In the world as they knew it, there were many different forms and arts for shinobi to learn and master, and each one came with a different set of tactics and techniques that eventually helped a person to become stronger. Within each category, there were techniques that were forbidden and deemed illegal in certain lands, while there were others that were safer to practice. For _iryōninjutsu_, it required the user to be almost expert in controlling his or her chakra. Most shinobi learned as they grew older, forming different hand seals and channeling different chakra reserves through their bodies when they fought against rival shinobi.

Of course, this was not always the case for _iryōninjutsu_. Sakura remembered a time that she thought her chakra control was adequate for a young girl of thirteen, but after the countless hours where beads of sweat gathered at her forehead as she worked hard to perfect techniques that were considered the simplest, she had realized she was wrong. Watching her own disciple now as he faced the big sealing scroll before him, with the now injured fish on it, she had to smile. Before her eyes was the spitting image of her when she had been training under Tsunade, though with a few details changed. Stepping forward, she encouraged Yuzuru to watch as she hovered her hands over the creature and expended chakra that came out green instead of blue. The young man's eyes stayed wide and focused, though she could tell he was more than a little confused.

"Do you understand why this is the first step?" She asked.

"To see what the problem is?" He replied earnestly.

"Right," she nodded, "but the reason that we have to see what the problem is, is because normal chakra reserves come out blue. When you use regular chakra on another person, it could be harmful to them, which is why you have to take your regular chakra reserves," she demonstrated as her hands hovered closer to the fish, "and control it in a different way. When you do this, you're able to look at who, or in this case, what exactly you're healing."

"So this first step is basically assessing the situation?"

"Yes, and no." The glowing green from her hands dulled as she directed her focus to answer her disciple's question. "Assessing the situation in a normal context would be looking around to see if there are any external dangers to both you and the patient." Slowly, Sakura moved her hands closer again, the familiar green glow lighting up, and Yuzuru's eyes watched as the fish's tail twitched. "But in this case, you are also checking the condition of the patient, and you can only do so by controlling your chakra like _this_," she said pointedly, "before you start to use this very same chakra to begin healing them."

"So…" Yuzuru mulled, "that means when you're checking the condition, you're doing it to see what the best course of action is?"

"Yes."

"To see what level of healing is best?"

"Yes."

"That's…."

"Easy?" Sakura laughed. "In theory, sure. But like I told you, chakra control isn't easy. Especially when you're using it in this context."

The young man drew in a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes, mentally and physically preparing himself for the exertion that was required of an _iryōnin_. When his brown eyes shot open again, Sakura recognized the determination and fear that pooled in them, a sensation that she understood extremely well. He took steps closer to the animal that laid on the table on an opened scroll and tentatively hovered his shaking hands over it, inhaling a sharp breath. The pink-haired woman, who had taken a step back to give him space, watched cautiously as his trembling hands produced the familiar green glow and finally stabilizing as his jaw tightened and he focused better.

Of course, it wasn't _that_ easy.

Yuzuru's hands quickly slipped into blue chakra before they fizzed out and he would grunt in frustration before trying yet again, the steady green glow flickering. In an attempt to let him find his way, Sakura had moved to one of the many shelves that had countless scrolls on medicine and poison antidotes. Each time she heard her disciple vent out his frustration and anger, she hardened her resolve to make him as great as Tsunade had made her. As she watched his determination take form, her eyes continued to read through her _shishou_'s scrolls when out of the corner of her eye, she caught Naruto take a few steps closer to the action before him. She whipped her head around and had failed to notice that Yuzuru was heaving and had rested his hands on the table in attempt to steady himself.

"Yuzuru!" She exclaimed, her feet immediately moving towards him as he stumbled, but Naruto was the person who caught him first.

"Take it slow," Naruto uttered to him, "don't push yourself."

Sakura watched as Naruto wrapped his arm around Yuzuru's waist and dragged him to the one sofa that she remembered as being the place she had passed out in while she was training. Hastily, she grabbed a cloth from one of the shelves without scrolls and soaked it in the pond before the training table and squeezed it before making her way to her disciple whose sweat was gathering at his forehead. Naruto's large hand pushed back his hair and Sakura's nimble fingers neatly placed the wet cloth over the exposed skin. Yuzuru sighed and his eyes fluttered shut, but there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

"Why are you smiling?" Sakura asked, her voice strained. "Now isn't the time to be smiling."

"I'm happy," he answered in earnest, "because I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere."

Naruto used a hand to cover his own smile.

"Yuzuru," Sakura sighed, her tone scolding, "that's not how this works. You have to be _careful_. I literally _just_ told you that twenty minutes ago."

"Does he need to stop for today?" Naruto asked curiously. "He only just started."

"No," she shook her head, "he just needs a couple minutes. Chakra control is no joke, after all."

The two of them didn't say a word as Yuzur's eyes fluttered shut in exhaustion. Gently, Naruto lifted his head and carefully placed him on the sofa before standing up and stretching. As though something on one of the shelves caught his interest, he began to quietly drudge over and pulled a book and skimmed the title before his eyebrows were raised in curiosity. Sakura watched, waiting for some kind of reaction from him, when her eyes fell upon the title that read 'Tome of _Fūinjutsu_: Volume I'. Involuntarily, the corners of her lips curved into a small frown.

"I didn't know this was here," he whispered in her direction, "I actually thought it was kind of a lost art."

"Not really." Sakura shrugged. "Lady Tsunade kept a lot of records since her grandmother was an Uzumaki."

Blue eyes moved to study her face carefully. "Right," he nodded, "I forgot you knew that."

Slowly lifting herself off the sofa, Sakura made her way to where he stood and eyed another book that she knew Tsunade had taken a great interest in when she was younger. She read the title a few times and stole a glance at Naruto, whose brow was furrowed as he read through the book he held. The corners of Sakura's lips lifted in a smirk at the familiarity of the simple action and cleared her throat quietly. She took a deep breath, but did not meet his eyes as she spoke. "Do you know anything about Uzushiogakure?"

"Nah," he replied without a beat, "just that my mom's from there."

"Did you ever want to see it someday?"

Naruto paused before he slowly closed the tome and put it back on its shelf. She could _feel_ his blue eyes on her, but still she held her ground and did not turn to look at him. He sighed. "Are you trying to go there - or what's left of it - so you can do more research?"

She winced even though it was only fifty-percent true. "No, I just wanted to understand you better."

"What?" He chuckled. "You've understood me for such a long time. Why does this matter?"

Perhaps she lost her nerve in trying to fool him, or perhaps the small increment of time in which she didn't answer his question was a factor in him realizing that he understood _her_ just as well as she understood him. "Sakura-chan, no."

"I can't do _anything_ from here-"

"It's _destroyed_. There's nothing there!"

"Except a port town that houses a bunch of criminals from before the war!"

"That's all the more reason for you _not_ to go!"

"Oh, come _on_, Naruto," she hissed, "it'll help us in the long run."

"I'm not givin' the okay on this." He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and huffed. "Not _now_, anyway. There's too much we don't know yet. Just because you found a connection with _fūinjutsu_ doesn't mean that that's where our target is."

"You know better than to say that."

"I do, but I'm not sendin' you there when I don't _know_ anything."

She let out a harsh breath. "What happened to you? You used to jump headfirst into everything."

"I have more to lose now."

As soon as the words left his lips, he turned to look at her as though they were by accident. The vibrant blue of his eyes that she had come to fall in love with shone with a kind of regret, a kind of remorse that reached far beneath the surfaces of what she could reach. She scoffed, her heart feeling the cutting slice of his words. Tightening her jaw as she turned to face him head on, she felt as though she was looking at a man that had, in some ways, not changed at all. "You _always_ had something to lose," she uttered, "but that never stopped you from taking risks."

"Things are just different now."

"Like what?"

"Like," he exasperated, "I can't go _with_ you, so if something happens to you, that's on me!"

"As Hokage," she started, "you very well know the risks that pose your shinobi-"

"I'm not talking about as Hokage."

Sakura blinked as she processed his words. "What? What're you-"

The sound of Yuzuru coming to on the sofa interrupted the question that was now burning at the tip of her tongue. In a haste, Sakura made her way to where he was beginning to sit up and he pinched the bridge of his nose. The cloth that she had placed on his forehead was now _stuck_ there, and Naruto couldn't help letting out a laugh at the sight. Sakura, who hadn't heard him laugh like that in years, let out a small chuckle and peeled it off his forehead and slapped him on his shoulder, making him jump. "What just happened?" Yuzuru said with wide eyes.

"You were pushing yourself too much." Naruto replied. "So you passed out."

"You're _kidding_," Yuzuru said, looking to his _shishou_ for confirmation.

"Unfortunately, he's right."

"Well, _that's_ embarrassing."

"Don't worry about it," the blond waved his hand, "you're doing great."

"_Well_," Sakura vaguely protested in a high-pitched voice, "he's not entirely right, but you are trying your best."

"And I passed out for it." Yuzuru deadpanned.

"No one gets it right on the first try," she reassured him, "_believe_ me."

"I'm uh. Feeling a little overwhelmed."

Yuzuru placed his hands on his legs and stood up, pacing around the space around the sofa, looking at anywhere except at Sakura. She could see the quickly growing panic in his eyes and the way his mouth was set in a frown. Throwing a quick glance at Naruto and seeing him nod as he took a step back, she took a deep breath and stood up to face her disciple.

"You know," she said slowly, "it's normal to get carried away."

"I can't get carried away when I'm trying to heal someone else - or even myself." Yuzuru sputtered. "What if someone _really_ needs me and I pass out - or worse - because I got carried away?"

"That won't happen."

"How can you be so sure?" He said, his voice tinged with a venom she's never heard before. "You _never_ had to endure this."

"_Yuzuru_." She practically gritted his name through her teeth to get his attention, and when it worked, she tightened her jaw. "You are freaking out, and that's fine. This is a _big_ step that you're taking today, and it's okay to feel a little vulnerable."

"But-"

"Let me finish." Sakura tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms, trying to project the energy that Tsunade had always shown to her: strong, confident, _formidable_. "It won't always feel like this. You'll learn the more you keep at it."

"I don't know if I can keep... doing this. Today."

"You can," she reassured him, "because the first step is always scary. But once you get _past_ that fear and focus on what you're capable of right now," she took his hand and led him to the table where she had trained all those years ago, "then you'll know that speed is not what's important here."

"It's… not?" Yuzuru asked slowly.

"Whatever gave you the impression that it _is_, is obviously wrong." Sakura gently placed his hands so they hovered over the fish on the opened scroll. "Take three deep breaths and just focus on what's before you."

Yuzuru straightened his back and did as she said before the familiar green glow came from his hands, fluctuating, but not as much as it did before. She looked to his expression, which had gone from panicked to a slow determination, indicating that he had found his bearings. His slender fingers twitched as he worked to stay focused on the task at hand, and treating that as her cue, Sakura took a step back and watched expectantly as Yuzuru continued to keep trying, just as he did before.

Glancing towards the back of the room, she noticed the tall, broad-shouldered figure of the Seventh Hokage watching _her_, his cerulean eyes lit with admiration. She let her eyes stay glued to his face before they ran down to the shape of his mouth that was now curved into a smirk. Dragging back her eyes up to his, she felt her cheeks redden and in an attempt to will away the rush of the unnamed emotion that made her heart thump, she crossed her arms and looked away.

Still, not every part of her body listened to her. Least of all the sweet, small smile that pulled at her lips that the Seventh Hokage _definitely_ saw.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Sakura asked, a worried expression on her face. "You pushed yourself a lot today, and you're tired, so I think-"

"Nah," Yuzuru grinned, his spirits much higher than they were before, "what kind of student would I be if I made my _shishou_ send me home? I can still walk."

"Well, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn't look after my students?"

"Seriously, Ms. Haruno, it's fine. My place isn't far from here anyway."

"But are you _sure_?"

A warm laugh came from the young man, who then looked at her in amusement. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's getting late, anyway. I'm sure Sarada-chan is waiting for you."

Before she could say another word, Yuzuru raised his hand to wave her goodbye with a huge smile on his face. Sakura watched as he walked away, seemingly quicker than his usual pace. He hadn't achieved that much in the hours that he spent crouched over the table, and when he had looked as though his energy was depleted, Sakura was quick to make sure he wasn't going to pass out again. Still, she was impressed at how quickly he learned to take her advice to take the training slowly. She sighed, turning to the man that stood behind her.

"He can be so stubborn," she admonished, "I don't even know what to do with him sometimes."

"Sounds familiar," Naruto chuckled, "but I'm sure he just doesn't wanna burden you."

"That's not possible. He's kind of my responsibility during the day."

"He'll be fine," the blond reassured, "he's probably just excited that he's finally getting stronger."

Sakura snorted. "Speaking of which, I've been wondering why you didn't leave to go back to the office. You know Shikamaru's gonna kill you tomorrow."

"I had a clone watch over things. It's hard staying up there all the time, even when I do love my job."

"And the Hokage's advisor is okay with this?"

"He's the one who suggested it."

They began walking in silence back towards the center of Konoha, where they knew all the shops were still open and bustling with customers. Occasionally, he would make sure his gait was slow enough as he strode beside her, their arms brushing every now and again, making her wonder how on _earth_ they were standing so close. Any time her thoughts began to turn slightly inappropriate, she thanked the gods that everyone knew they were teammates in a different time, and would never think to question how comfortable they were around each other. Of course, not many knew of the fifteen-year hiatus that she had taken from him, but they didn't _need_ to know that.

"Can I ask you something?" Naruto said, his voice low. "Is everything okay with Sasuke?"

The knick she felt in her heart was more than enough to have reality come crashing down on her. "What do you mean?"

"Has Sarada-chan met him yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want her to freak out," Sakura sighed as the bright lights marking the end of autumn came into their view, "and I just want to prepare her first."

"There's no way to prepare someone for that kind of thing."

"I just… need time."

Naruto shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other as he came to a halt, making Sakura turn to look at him in concern. He cleared his throat. "She spent pretty much her whole life wanting to meet him. Why are you putting it off?"

"Do you really think she's ready for the emotional intensity of meeting the man who abandoned her?" Sakura said softly, her voice quivering. Whether it was due to the cold, or due to the fact that she was trying to keep it together, she had no idea. "He just comes back like it's nothing, spewing crap about wanting to be a family, that he came back for me or… whatever." Naruto's eyes had widened by a fraction at the obvious detail that she hadn't yet disclosed to him. She huffed, readying herself to justify herself further, but Naruto gave her a sympathetic smile.

"He's still her dad," he whispered, "and even if you think she's not ready, that's not really up to you. It's between her and him."

"But-"

"Sakura-chan," he reassured, "you did your job as her mom. You have nothing to worry about."

Her eyes studied his face for any sign of him lying, but nothing betrayed him. She looked down at their feet for a few moments, collecting her paranoid thoughts, and finally, looked up at him with resolve. When she nodded and wordlessly agreed with him, he placed both his hands on her shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. Sakura cocked her head to the side and looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed that all the times she had tried hiding how she felt from everyone else was undone in a few mere moments by the man she had once called her best friend.

"You're right," she said finally, "I'll think about it."

When Naruto gave her another smile, she thought back to the moment in Tsunade's private chambers. Her head mulled over their conversation a few times as they continued walking into town until they were in plain sight of the civilians who waved at them and bowed in respect. She nodded at them politely and Naruto waved back jovially. She knitted her brow and worked up the courage to listen to an answer that hadn't even left his lips yet.

"Hey," she said, and he looked at her curiously, "back in Lady Tsunade's chambers… about…. You know, taking risks?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you mean when you said it would be your fault if something happened to me…?"

At her words, Naruto turned to look at her, an unreadable emotion in his eyes. He clenched his jaw and Sakura could see that there was a process of thoughts that was going through his head, perhaps the very same one that had gone through hers before she even asked the question. As though it was a nervous tick, he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, and she was _convinced_ that she was hallucinating when she saw a sadness light his eyes. "You mean if I let you go to Uzushiogakure?"

"Well, yeah."

"Listen," he said, "I know you're capable of a lot of things. I believe in you, but it used to just be you and me as part of Team Seven and sending you off alone just doesn't sit right."

"Why not?"

"Well, for the reasons I said."

"You said you wouldn't be taking responsibility as Hokage."

As they passed a few stalls that called for their attention, he didn't answer at first. His eyes kept darting to the foods that were on sale, and suddenly, Sakura saw that he was hesitating in answering her. Patiently, she walked with him through town and watched the way his face seemed to twitch and soften as he mulled over his answer. Naruto had never been one to doubt her, but for the first time since she knew him, she felt as though he was about to break that streak. As she opened her mouth to tell him to forget it, Naruto sighed and looked at her, then gestured to a nearby bench for them to sit down. The wood felt cold underneath her, but she stifled her shivers as she looked at him, preparing herself for the worst.

"Okay," he started, "you're right. You would be completely fine if I let you go." His cerulean eyes pierced through her with something close to ferocity, but he didn't waver. "But I don't wanna let you go alone."

"Right, because of the risks that you apparently don't want to divulge to me properly."

"No," he shook his head, "that's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"What if something happened to you?"

"So you're worried I can't protect myself."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"You're sure finding a lot of words to say 'I don't believe in you, Sakura-chan'." She hissed. "You might as well just say the _actual_ words."

"Sarada already has a dad who left her," he countered, "what if she lost her mom who I _swore_ I would protect?"

"No one _told_ you to protect me!" She exclaimed, exasperated. "You're just looking for an excuse to not let me go."

"I don't want you to go because I can't stand the thought of you _going_ and getting hurt."

Sakura knitted her brow in confusion. "What're you trying to say?"

A harsh breath came from him. "You're important to me, even though you iced me out for fifteen years, acting like you didn't even know me. But that's _okay_, because I trusted your judgment. But this is you going to a place I can't get to quickly enough for you, and you would potentially be getting hurt." He huffed. "I just want you to be safe."

Spearmint eyes widened.

"...Because I'm your friend, and it's fine for me to worry. Right?"

The word sliced through her heart as though he had used an actual kunai, and she felt her expression fall. Of _course_ he was going to say friend. She hadn't known what she had been expecting him to say, even though a part of her knew exactly what she wanted him to say. She tightened her jaw and nodded somberly, worried that if she said a word, it would come out shaky and quivering. Her eyes averted to her hands neatly folded in her lap, and as though she was drowning, she felt the weight of the guilt that washed over her. She cleared her throat.

"You knew I was avoiding you?"

"You're not that hard to read."

"Liar," she attempted to joke, "I'm not an open book."

"I know you well enough to know when you try to convince yourself you're fine."

There was a lingering question in the air. She knew it, and _he_ knew it, too, which was obvious by the way he kept nervously shifting in his seat. Sakura looked to him, and the look on his face mirrored the one on hers. _Friend_, she thought to herself, repeating the word in her head until it started to taste like dust. She let out a breath. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I shouldn't have done that."

"Why did you?"

She bit the inside of her cheek as she felt her face turn red and her heart began to thump in her chest. "I was just trying to deal with Sasuke being gone," she lied, "and I didn't wanna burden you because you were also starting your own life."

"I would've been there for you."

She shook her head. "I would've been interfering in your life, and if I did that, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."

"Sakura-chan." He said pointedly, her name slipping so easily off his tongue. "You could never be a burden to me."

A breathy laugh left her lips, the regret seeping deeper into her bones even as he smiled at her. She was sure that one day, his lips would be the death of her - and as the thought crossed her mind, the blush returned to her face at how unintentionally and utterly inappropriate that thought was. Still, her eyes flitted to his lips for a mere half second and she cleared her throat. She watched as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and rubbed them together, trying to stay warm. She forced herself to smile.

"Thanks," she uttered, "I really appreciate it."

He turned to look at her, and before he could voice whatever he was about to say, the store clerk from one of the nearby shops came up to them, holding two cups of _sake_, a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Lord Seventh! And Lady Sakura, as well!" He exclaimed, the cold clearly not getting to him as he stood in a cotton uniform. "We noticed you two sitting out here, so I brought you two some _sake_. Might warm you two up."

"Oh!" Naruto enthused. "We really appreciate it! Thanks, old man!" His hands reached for the cups and he handed one to her before he saluted to the old man, who then bowed and retreated back into his shop.

"What was that?" Sakura laughed as she brought the cup closer to her mouth.

"I don't know," he chuckled, "waving always feels weird and just nodding feels too much like Kakashi-sensei."

Her laughter had increased twofold. "Do you remember how he tried to act all cool and collected, but really he was reading porn, like _all_ the time?"

Naruto's booming laughter filled the air as he reminisced with her, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "He always acted like the books were the best thing he'd ever read, but they were _awful_."

Sakura cocked her head. "You read them?"

"Ero-sennin took _serious_ pride in his works."

She scoffed. "I remember Lady Tsunade always used to scold him for his research."

"Those trips were always the best."

Gasping due to her disbelief, Sakura playfully hit him in the shoulder and he laughed.

"Well," she said finally, "I guess this is a toast."

"To what?"

"To our teachers," she smiled, "because without them, we'd be _unbearable_."

"The unbearable duo?" He asked. "We've always been that. People just got used to us."

They clinked their cups and poured the liquor down their throats. Sakura savored the sweetness of the _sake_ and vaguely began to understand why her _shishou_ had loved the thing so much. Gently, she placed her cup at the bottom of the bench, but was surprised when a waiter from the restaurant came outside and took their cups from them. She nodded and smiled as he shuffled back to the shop, the door shutting gently behind him. Naruto cleared his throat, and when she looked at him, his head was leaning against the back of the bench, his eyes watching the sky. She felt her face soften.

"You know," he said quietly, "Ero-sennin was in love with Granny."

Pink eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I remember he told me he always regretted not telling her sooner that he really loved her."

"Why didn't he?"

Naruto was silent for a moment, his eyes still looking up. He took a deep breath then turned to her, the blue in his eyes suddenly dull. "She met Dan."

The atmosphere in the air had changed, and as though struck with the intensity of her emotions, she couldn't look at him. She fidgeted with the hem of her jacket and when the silence started to form visions of a different life borne out of ache, she forced herself to remember that they were both _married_. It was a record; she already had to remind herself of this fact _twice_ today. She looked up at him to find that he hadn't looked away from her the entire time.

"I think," she began, "a part of her loved him, too."

"Ya think?"

"Believe me," she sighed, "I think she regretted not saying anything, too."

"For all the things he said about Dan, I think he was actually happy that she was happy."

"Of course," Sakura smiled, "he was a good man. Jiraiya wouldn't have wanted anything less for her."

In the background, they could hear the laughter of the customers who stood in front of stalls as they waited for their food. The air around them kept changing, going from easy to difficult, from tense to easygoing, and then doubling back again to tense. There was a time that just being around Naruto was easy, and he had put her at ease whenever she was restless, but this was not one of those times. She knew that there were things she was withholding from him, and for good reason. Some things were better left in the past, never to be dredged up again, especially if it could bring a lot of pain for both parties. Sakura let out a breath and willed away the sense of dread that was threatening to consume her, but before she could say anything more, Naruto abruptly stood up.

"It's getting late," he said, "we should head back."

"Right," she replied, a tinge of regret in her voice, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow for mission updates?"

"Oh," Naruto blinked, "I was going to walk you home."

"Oh! You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to. I _want_ to."

The Seventh Hokage was never one to listen to anyone when he wanted to help them, and so Sakura didn't protest when she stood from her spot and they began walking in the direction of her home. She knew better than to wave off his acts of kindness, but she still couldn't find a single thing to say to him, even as they began to walk further and further away from the hustle and bustle of people in the center of Konoha's town. There were a million things running through her mind, but most of all, how he had known that she had been avoiding him for the last fifteen years. She frowned at the thought that he lived with the knowledge and never said a word, and never held it against her. She hadn't lied about not wanting to be a burden, either, but it still _felt_ like a lie because she knew the other half of that 'truth' that she was keeping concealed.

"I'll think about sending you to Uzushiogakure," Naruto said softly, "but promise me you won't just take off."

"I won't just take off."

Naruto scrunched his brow at her response, and Sakura could see that a fleeting thought entered his mind before he shook his head, willing it away. "I'll talk with Shikamaru about some camp establishments."

"I can be part of those talks, too."

He shook his head again in protest. "We have to focus on the outposts for now. We're just getting some last-minute information, then I promise you'll be the one we send."

She couldn't think of what to say except a small 'thank you', to which Naruto smiled and nodded. They walked side by side in silence and had reached the park where she and Sasuke had spoken the night he showed up. Her green eyes flitted to the bench there, then they slowly made their way to the Hokage Tower that stood in the distance. Suddenly, the pathway that she took everyday back home seemed foreign, despite the fact that she had a daughter who was most certainly waiting for her inside the house that they could now see coming into view.

As she began making her way up the steps to the front door, she felt Naruto tug at her wrist. Slowly, she turned to look at him, a concerned expression on her face. The feel of his fingers wrapped around her wrist had threatened to send shivers down her spine, but she forced herself stay steady, even as she looked at the electric blue of his eyes. Every time she saw a sliver of sadness that touched him, she felt her own heart ache, especially when he tried to brush it off, like he was trying to right now. He smiled encouragingly.

"Thanks for today," he said softly.

Spearmint eyes blinked. "What for?"

"Letting me watch Yuzuru train."

Sakura let out a soft chuckle. "That's not thanks to me. You were the one who wanted to stay."

"Still," he laughed, "I appreciate it." He paused and cleared his throat, studying her face closely. She could see that a thought crossed his mind, his eyes lighting up, but it went away as quickly as it came. He hesitated now, but still, he smiled at her. "Goodnight, Sakura-chan."

"Goodnight, Lord Seven-" She abruptly stopped when he gave her a disapproving look despite the fact that he knew she was joking, and she laughed, then corrected herself. "Goodnight, Naruto."

The blond saluted her and they both chuckled. Pressing her thumb onto the handle, Sakura gently pushed the door open and looked to him one more time, giving him a smile before she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Her hands stayed pressed against the wood and she took a deep breath, the warmth of her home seeping over her even through her jacket. She shimmied out of the garment and hung it up on the nearby coat rack, and looked through the eye hole on the door to see Naruto walking away, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

Sakura closed her eyes and took three deep breath in an attempt to recenter herself to the reality that she was back home now, and that he saw her as a _friend_. A person that he would confide in, a person he would respect, and as she walked through the threshold of her home and through the door that led to the living room, she reminded herself that she was no longer the person he had once been in love with. While she figured that there was no way he harbored feelings for her, she neatly packed away the ones she had for him and prayed that one day, it would stop aching.

Perhaps, at some point, she would have to finally be honest with herself.

As she began making her way to the dining room, she heard the sound of one of the chairs creaking softly against the wooden floors. Panic crept up her spine and reached her neck, raising goosebumps in her now exposed skin. Carefully, she took slow steps towards the area that was now covered by the closed _shōji_ door. Her hands curled into fists and she focused her chakra there, gritting her teeth as she prepared herself to strike at the first chance she got. Slowly, her fingers slid the door open easily, just enough for her to see the person that was sitting in one of the dining chairs. She felt her brow scrunch up in confusion as she looked at him through the small slit, but she found that his eyes were closed, as though in contemplation. She stood up straighter and stood before the door, sliding it open even further.

Finally, he opened his eyes, his cool expression intact.

"Sasuke," she said, her voice strained, "what the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	8. Apprehension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discussion with Sasuke brings up all the anger and bitterness Sakura has done her best to forget. Meanwhile, there are increasingly worrisome reports about the _utsushō_ situation, and it's becoming more and more apparent that Sakura will have to go investigate in person.

The air inside the dining room was cold with an intensity that crawled down Sakura's spine as she glared at the black-haired man who sat in front of her, his expression complacent. The chakra in her fists had now dissipated, but her hands stayed bunched up as though she might need to focus her energy into the very same hands that she'd once used to cup his face as she kissed him on their wedding day. She remembered now, and along with the bitter memory came a rage that was as old and tired as she felt.

"I asked you what the hell you're doing here," she gritted through her teeth, "in _my_ home that I _demanded_ you stay away from."

Dark eyes merely stared back at her, its deepness once one of the very things that made her fall in love with him. Her stomach churned as she waited for him to answer, but in the end, he merely let out a small exhale and closed his eyes, furrowing his brow. Sakura took a step forward, and at the sound of her slipper moving forward, he cracked his eyes open, his expression unchanging. He glanced to Sakura's hands, which were now beginning to glow with the faintest blue light, and his eyes moved back across her face, studying her like she was some kind of experiment.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said plainly, every part of his body still relaxed, still unmoving from his spot.

"You barged into my home."

"For good reason."

"_What_ good reason? I clearly told you-"

"You're going to wake up Sarada."

At his own statement, Sasuke finally stood up and walked over to her. Sakura stared up at him as he towered over her, remembering how much taller than her he actually turned out to be. Her eyes widened as her fury was beginning to reach new heights, a boiling fire that was about to spill over. She wanted to scream at him, to punch him so hard that he hit the wall. Yet, as his eyes watched her, her throat closed up with the intensity of both rage and sadness. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and muttered to him to step away from her. When she heard his feet shuffle backwards, she opened her eyes again, much calmer than before.

"_Tell_ me you didn't meet her."

Sasuke raised a brow. "Of course I didn't."

"How did you get in?"

"Quietly."

"Sasuke." Sakura scolded softly, rolling her eyes, her rage dissipating through her head like smoke.

"Window."

"What window?"

"The kitchen window. I coaxed it open."

From where she stood, she could see the window right in front of the sink. It was properly shut now, but in the back of her mind, she was disgruntled and figured that she had to change the lock… somehow. She let out a harsh exhale and crossed her arms, moving her eyes to the ground so she wouldn't have to look at him. It would confuse her. It would upset her, too.

"Why are you here?" She asked softly, her tone calmer now.

Dark eyes pierced into hers as he drew closer, but she felt herself taking a step backwards. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. He studied her face before finally looking away, instead averting his eyes to the kitchen. Pursing his lips, he clicked his tongue and his brow furrowed. He spoke, his tone low enough that Sakura quickly understood that someone just might be listening.

"There's been a weird chakra around here," he mumbled, "but it's only when you're not home."

"How do you know that?" She asked in the same hushed tones. "You've been watching the house?"

He turned back to her, mildly surprised. "Of course."

Sakura shook her head and closed her eyes. Taking in a sharp breath, she opened her eyes again, this time her expression more concerned. She _would_ get angry at him, but starting a fight in this situation would do no good. Clearing her throat, she looked at his face. "What did you find?"

"Nothing yet."

"What weird chakra are you talking about, then?"

Sasuke thought for a moment, but kept his eyes on her face. "It's chakra that's out of control."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't feel stable." He walked into the kitchen and grabbed an empty glass before turning on the tap and filling it with water. Sakura could hear him gulping the water as he downed it in a matter of seconds, and then watched him furrow his brow at the window before him. "All I know right now is that something is out there."

"Then I'll take some measures," Sakura chimed in quietly, "so you don't have to worry about it."

Finally, Sasuke turned to look at her with an expression of mild disbelief, but he didn't say a word. He rested his palms against the sink and tilted his head downwards, as though looking at the sink. At first, Sakura watched his back - just as she had always done when they were growing up - but when she felt her fingers twitch in a desire to touch him, she looked away and stepped back into the dining room, pulling out a chair for her to sit in. She rested her head in her nimble hands and sighed.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing, and maybe you think you're redeeming yourself," she uttered quietly, knowing he heard her well, "and I appreciate it. But I told you to stay away."

The only indication that he moved was the slight creak of his chair as he sat back down in it. Sakura lifted her head from her hands in time to see him sit across from her. He was emotionless, even as he regarded her face looking for some semblance of hesitation. His lips turned downwards in a frown when he didn't find it.

"I'm sorry, you know." He leaned forward in his seat slightly, resting his elbows on the table. "I shouldn't have left."

"You leaving to do your repenting or… favors for the Hokage is fine." She said honestly, feeling the long-buried pain in her heart resurface. "But not _once_ in fourteen years did you come back. I raised a daughter alone, and you think sending money is enough?"

"It was to help."

"We're not divorced," she answered, her voice quivering, "which means you were supposed to be here. Raising her _with_ me." She paused, her lips parted open as she looked up at him. The weight of her feelings landed on her shoulders and a soft chuckle came through her lips in irony. "I'm so sick of being upset about the same thing."

"We have to get through it. It's been fourteen years since I last saw you."

"Whose fucking _fault_ is that?" She spat, her anger boiling over in spearmint eyes.

Sasuke didn't flinch. He still watched her face and seemed to be waiting for something - _any_thing - but when it didn't come, he leaned back in his seat. Tapping his fingers on the dining table slightly, he let out a soft sigh and furrowed his brow before he stood up and hovered over Sakura, placing a large hand on her shoulder. A gesture that had once sent goosebumps up her neck now made the weight of the things he'd done settle heavily on her conscience. She scoffed and shrugged him off.

"I want you to get out." She said plainly.

He blinked. "What?"

"Get. _Out_."

"Sakura-"

She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I'm not _ready_, okay? Stop trying to force me to just _accept_ you with open arms." Tears brimmed her eyes and threatened to fall down her cheeks. "_You_ left _me_. Remember?"

Sasuke took a step back as she stood from her seat and the two stared at each other for a few seconds before he nodded slowly. He began shuffling his feet towards the kitchen with the intent of going out the second door, but Sakura tugged at his wrist. When he turned to look at her, her expression had softened.

"Give me time." She whispered. "I'm not asking you to leave forever."

He nodded once and gently released his wrist from her hand. As he walked away, Sakura heard his footsteps becoming fainter and fainter, until finally, she heard the front door close gently with a click. She let out a breath of relief, though the heaviness in her chest hadn't completely gone away. Walking into the kitchen, she glanced at the window in front of the sink in earnest. She made a mental note to purchase a new window lock and key and very vaguely thought that _fūinjutsu_ would be a useful alternative. Shaking her head, she reached above her for one of the overhead cabinets and pulled out a cup.

A few more steps to the fridge, she pulled open the door a little too roughly and hastily stopped it from banging into the wall next to it. Her hand reached for an unopened bottle of _sake_ and she gently closed the door with her shoulder. She set both the bottle and cup on the dining table and looked at the two items as though she was trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea to drink - even though she already pulled out what she needed to. Fingers ran through her hair and tucked a lock behind her ear and she bit her lip in hesitation.

Her thoughts flitted to Sasuke's face, then the events of Yuzuru's training, and finally, to the way Naruto had looked at her as she held his father's kunai. As soon as she remembered the _fūinjutsu_ inscription on the hilt, she felt the anxiety of not knowing enough about the S-ranked mission that was assigned to her crash down on her. If it was her _shishou_, she would have known exactly what to do, and yet, Sakura stood in her dining room alone, completely paralyzed at the thought that she was now to take Tsunade's place. Her quivering fingers popped the cap off the bottle and she poured the liquor into her cup in earnest.

The alcohol was sweet as it ran down her throat, but she still felt her nose scrunch up at the slight tang of the liquor. She clenched her jaw to keep from yawning from the fatigue of the day, and poured herself another shot. Spearmint eyes didn't move from the spot that Sasuke sat at, and she didn't even understand how suddenly, that seat by itself was now daunting. For every thought that entered her mind about Sasuke, or Naruto, or the mission she'd been assigned, she took another shot. Her vision became hazy, and ironically, she felt thirstier than she was before.

She remembered washing the cup that she had been using, and she remembered putting away the _sake_ into the fridge. All her actions were mechanic; robotic, especially so when her fingers were able to turn off all the lights without her even thinking about it. Her feet dragged her upstairs all the way to her bedroom, and as though it was for good measure, she looked out her window that overlooked the town and let out a sharp exhale. If Sasuke was right, that meant that someone could be watching from the shadows, just like he had been.

Slowly, she turned around and walked to the other end of the hall, where Sarada slept.

The door hardly creaked open, and peeking her head in, Sakura smiled at the sight of her daughter sleeping soundly. She had always been a heavy sleeper, and hardly anything woke her up lest she was shaken awake. Lithe steps took Sakura towards Sarada's bed and she gently sat at the side of the bed, her eyes softly watching the young Uchiha sleep. Carefully, she lifted her hand to stroke her dark hair, and tucked a small lock behind her ear before leaving her hand to linger and to stroke the soft strands one more time.

Sarada stirred, much to Sakura's surprise. She quickly removed her hand and began to stand up, but just as she turned away, her daughter's voice resounded in her ear.

"Mom?" She said sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Late," Sakura tried her best not to slur, "I was just checking on you."

"Did you just get home?" Sarada yawned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"A while ago, but I was downstairs doing some work."

At her mother's words, Sarada opened one eye and watched Sakura suspiciously. She was silent and shifted slightly, her expression skeptical, though she didn't say anything. No part of the pink-haired woman betrayed her. Still, Sakura knew the look in her daughter's eye - the one she had opened - very well. She _was_ her father's daughter, after all.

"Did you drink?" Sarada asked quietly, a little more awake now.

A breathy laugh left Sakura's lips. "A little. Was just in the mood."

Dark eyes watched Sakura before Sarada finally reached next to her to turn on her bedside lamp. She leaned back against her bedframe and sighed, her eyes studying her mother as though she were looking for something to bring up. Sakura propped herself at the foot of the bed, and the irony of her own daughter looking her up and down the way a mother might do to her own daughter would have made her laugh, if she didn't feel like she was somehow… being a terrible mother. She looked at the floor.

"Did something happen?" Sarada finally asked, her tone soft. "You don't usually drink while you work."

"No, nothing happened." Sakura lied. "It's just a lot of work, lately. It's been hard to keep up."

"Why?"

"Wracking my brain for solutions," she smiled sheepishly, "that's all. Nothing for you to worry about."

Sarada looked to the side, her expression worried.

Allowing silence to fill the room, Sakura patiently waited for Sarada to finally look at her and say something, silently praying to whatever gods could hear her so that for once in her life, she could be there for _someone_. Her hand reached forward and brushed through dark hair, and when wide, dark eyes turned towards her, Sakura did her best to give her most encouraging smile without uttering a word. There didn't _need_ to be words - just faith that everything truly was okay.

It wasn't, but she didn't want to add more weight to the shoulders that to her, seemed so small.

At the brightness she saw on her mother's face, Sarada visibly relaxed and offered a small smile of her own. They stayed that way for a few minutes, and although she tried her best to push away thoughts that nagged her for keeping more secrets from her daughter, Sakura savored the need for reassurance that radiated from Sarada. It was subtle and it was fleeting, but the pink-haired woman recognized insecurity in those eyes.

"Everything okay?" She asked softly.

"You don't… get anxious." Sarada sat up straighter and hugged her knees to her chest, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Is this really hard to crack or something?"

Spearmint eyes blinked. If she was tipsy before, she was _definitely_ completely sober now. "Why do you ask?"

"Mom," Sarada sighed, "you always take things in stride. People look up to you for that."

"I have a feeling this _isn't_ a compliment." Sakura joked. Sarada playfully rolled her eyes.

"All I'm saying is," Sarada said quietly, "I believe in you. You'll solve this, whatever it is."

A lump rose in Sakura's throat as flashes of the young girl who wasn't that much younger than Sarada popped into her mind, each memory more vivid as they came one after another. She remembered the protruding veins, the eyes that stayed open, the pale skin - the fact that somehow, some way, the horror of such a brutal death had stemmed from _fūinjutsu_. Moreover, the persons who wanted to watch the world burn as it had before, wanted to use _shinobi_ with _kekkei gengkai_ for their games. Sakura gritted her teeth reflexively.

"Mom?" Sarada blinked. "Did you hear me?"

Tilting her head towards her daughter's concerned gaze, she smiled again and nodded. "I did, I was just caught up in my thoughts."

"You underestimate yourself," the teenager scoffed, "you always tackle the problem head-on."

A sad smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Is that so?"

"I don't know anyone as fierce as you," Sarada laughed, "and you're _really_ fierce, Mom."

Sakura knew that Sarada was right - to an extent. When it came to her work and improving her skills as a medical ninja, she approached the task with a ferocious tenacity that was only matched to Lady Tsunade and her _senpai_, Shizune. She worked tirelessly and always gave her best effort - which was part of the reason she hired Yuzuru in the first place: she just simply couldn't do everything herself. Still, problems in the hospital were much easier to deal with than problems in her personal life, excluding her daughter, of course. She remembered the autopsy again, as well as the conversation that she had with the Seventh about a potential mission that was away from home. Spearmint eyes softened as she regarded her daughter with great consideration.

"You know," she started, "I have to wonder how you got so wise."

"Maybe it's a gift." Sarada shrugged as she lowered herself under the covers. "Probably got it from you."

Sakura remembered what kind of teenager she had been towards her own mother. She was often scolded for not being more "ladylike", for not doing as much housework as she was expected to, for putting her education above all else. It was only on the day of her wedding that her mother finally stopped nagging her with shoving expectations down her throat. Even now, well into her thirties, there were unresolved feelings she had towards her mother who always made her feel like she wasn't good enough, and maybe the gods were finally repaying her for making her suffer so much. Having Sarada for a daughter was a god-damn _blessing_, and all the animosity she had felt her entire life towards her mother had wafted into the air and was replaced by the immense and unconditional love she had for Sarada.

As the young Uchiha settled comfortably into her bed, Sakura reached over to turn out the bedside lamp. Sarada was already facing the opposite direction, and Sakura began making her way towards the bedroom door. She was already on the other side, her hand was already on the knob, about to pull the door shut, when Sarada abruptly turned over to look at her, her expression unreadable.

"I love you, Mom." She uttered.

Taken by surprise, Sakura blinked and smiled, then whispered "I love you too" before pulling the door shut until she heard a faint click. She leaned against the wooden door and drew a deep breath and expelled it slowly through her nose. Anxiety seeped through her mind as she made her way back to her bedroom and prepared herself to sleep. Just by hearing the encouragement from Sarada, suddenly Sakura felt as though she really could do anything. She turned to the window that overlooked Konoha and pulled open the sliding door, stepping out onto the balcony.

Konoha was a village that _never_ slept.

If she was completely honest, she hadn't always loved the bright lights that filled the town even late into the night. At first, they were a nuisance, and had made it hard for her to sleep, but as she got older and her insomnia grew more consistent, they served as a comfort. It didn't make the insomnia go away, but she felt something settle into her heart knowing that like her, there were plenty of people who were unable to sleep. Spearmint eyes flitted to the Hokage Tower, which of course, was still very much lit. She leaned her weight on the railing and laced her fingers together and sighed.

Whatever it was that Sasuke had seen hovering around the house, she knew she needed to leave on that mission so she could find more answers. There was no guarantee that the two things were even related, but she knew better than to ignore potential dangers. She stayed that way for at least an hour, pondering all the things that she was wary of and anxious about, thinking that part of her wasn't cut out for the responsibilities she'd been given. Most of the time, she feared that every single person around her would find out that she was a fraud - that she really wasn't as good as they thought her to be. Still, Sarada's words came to mind, and Sakura shook her head in an attempt to chase out the bad thoughts.

If there was at least one person who was going to believe in her, it was going to be her daughter. For that reason alone, there was no way Sakura _wasn't_ going to give it her best.

* * *

Other than Naruto, there was no person who had more piercing eyes than Ino. _That_ was a fact that Sakura was absolutely certain of as she watched the woman stare at her, a hesitance in her eyes. They sat across from each other, each with their own steaming cup of coffee. All around them, other customers were beginning to walk into the shop they sat in, and the whirring of the coffee machine filled the air, accompanied by the rustling of newspapers and light laughter. Sakura frowned.

"I have to go," she whispered, wrapping her hands around her hot coffee, "but I feel awful about leaving her alone."

Ino sighed. "You wouldn't be. I just don't understand why you're asking _me_ to check up on her…" A perfectly manicured hand reached for her cup and she took a sip before speaking again. "I mean, she'd be staying with Chouji, and I'm telling you that you can trust him."

The pink-haired woman huffed and leaned back in her seat, resigned. "It's not really about me trusting him, because of course I do."

"Then what is it?"

"You're her godmother." Sakura said plainly. "If anything happened to me, you're the one I'm entrusting her to."

"Sakura," Ino started, her expression becoming soft, "nothing is going to happen. She's stayed at Chouji's plenty of times, and even more so when you had other missions. Right now," she reached for her cup to take a sip, "you're just anxious. But everything will be okay."

"Ino, just tell me you'll check up on her."

A silence hung in the air but before Sakura could say anything, Ino let out a breath and hummed. "Okay. I'll do as you ask."

"I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," the medical ninja said, her tone hushed, "but doing what I do… I have to prepare for a day I hope may never come."

"I remember." Ino nodded. "I guess we just wanted to forget that that was a possibility."

"Of course. Who wants to _constantly_ think about being unable to watch their kids grow up?"

Another silence settled between them as their eyes met, and what was meant to serve as a comfort ended up making Sakura even more uneasy. Not that long ago, she would have beamed at the thought of an S-ranked mission that ensured she had to travel, that practically guaranteed time away from home. The only difference now was that she had a daughter, and a life, that she could lose within the blink of an eye. She let out an exhale and tried her best to smile, because one way or another, Ino was right. Obviously, that wasn't exactly something she would say out loud. Immediately noticing the change in the atmosphere, Ino leaned her head to one side, her expression curious.

"What?" Sakura asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Something seems different." Blonde eyebrows furrowed. "I noticed it the second you came in, but I can't… did something happen?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know…" Ino pursed her lips. "Besides your anxiety about this whole thing, anything happen last night?"

Sakura almost choked on her coffee. Trying her best not to cough, she continued gulping down her drink. _Shit_, she thought to herself, _I can't lie to this woman!_ After slowly setting down her cup, she leaned back in her seat and regarded the blonde in front of her with as neutral an expression as she could manage. Shaking her head and jutting out her bottom lip, she hoped that Ino would buy it-

-Which, of course, she didn't.

"You forget I've known you my whole life," Ino chuckled, "so I can tell when you're trying not to cough."

Sakura scowled.

"Tell me."

Almost instinctively, Sakura side-eyed the people that walked past them, and although they were in a public place in a relatively safe era, she knew better than to completely trust her surroundings. Ino must have quickly realized this fact, as her smirk quickly fell from her face and was replaced with an understanding that this had nothing to do with juicy gossip, nor was it a story that was to be held in public. No one could ever be sure who was listening, after all.

"Well," Ino said finally, feigning enthusiasm, "whenever you're ready, you can tell me."

A small smile spread across Sakura's lips, and she mouthed 'thank you' to one of the friends she wished she hadn't left for fifteen years.

As they stepped outside the cafe, the increasingly biting autumn wind whipped at Sakura's cheeks, and so she shuddered and pulled her muffler over her nose and cheeks. She bade a quick farewell to Ino and stuffed her hands in her pockets, eternally grateful that the hospital was just right next to the cafe. Another shudder rolled off her back as she entered the building and the central heating warmed her body through her coat.

The journey to her office felt relatively short, compared to how long it usually took, and without fail, she saw Yuzuru sitting on one of the sofas in her office, idly looking through his phone. His eyes lifted only when he noticed his _shishou_ approach the glass door, and he sprang to his feet to open it for her before she could wave her hand to let him know it was unnecessary. He gave her a polite smile and gently closed the door behind her and stood there, _way_ too polite for Sakura's taste.

A pink eyebrow was raised. "Everything okay?"

"Yes," he replied, "just waiting for you, Ms. Haruno."

Spearmint eyes blinked. "Right. Uh, there's some things that I have to tell you."

Her coat slipped off her shoulders and she placed her muffler on her desk, suddenly aware of how messy it actually was. She smiled, gesturing to her disciple to sit on one of the sofas. His large brown eyes watched her cautiously, but he did as was asked of him, and set his hands in his lap, clearly feeling unsettled. Truthfully, Sakura understood, and especially so because he had passed out from exerting himself too much from their last training session. She made her way to the two-seater next to him and crossed her legs. He cleared his throat.

"Is this about my training the other day?" He asked, his voice quivering. "I learned my lesson. I know not to push-"

"This isn't about the other day," she reassured him, "but it's actually about… the mission that I was given."

Brown eyes widened slightly. "Shouldn't we discuss this somewhere more private?"

"If we hide," Sakura whispered with a smile on her face, "there's no telling who could be making note of the things we do to try and be discreet."

Yuzuru raised his eyebrows in curiosity before he finally smiled, too. "Hide in plain sight."

Sakura winked. "Exactly."

"So, what did you want to tell me? Do we know more?"

"Actually," the medical ninja started, "I know more than I let on since we did the autopsies."

"What do you mean?"

"The reason that her veins were like that," she uttered in a low voice, "was because of poison, yes- but not just any poison."

"What kind?"

Sakura pursed her lips, hesitating. She cleared her throat. "It's a poison that comes from a substance called _utsushō_."

Brown eyes stared at her with confusion, then they shifted from confusion to absolute, utter horror. Sakura looked at him pointedly, reminding him that they were in an office with glass walls and a glass door, and even though he reigned it in, she could still see the fear in his eyes. It was raw, unadulterated, and she felt the same terror that he did. The only difference was that _she_ had to be the adult, and so _she_ had to inspire confidence.

"You mean… _that_…?"

"Yes."

"But how?"

Sakura let out a strained breath. "We don't know that much yet… but I only knew because of Lady Tsunade's records."

"Wouldn't she have _more_ on that kind of thing?"

She winced. "When she first found out about the substance, there really wasn't… any information on it."

"Then we have to go!"

"I am."

Yuzuru tilted his head, looking at her in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

"There's an outpost-"

"_No_."

"Let me finish." Sakura leaned back in her seat and uncrossed her legs, suspecting that he would react in this way. He looked up to her, after all. "I haven't been given any orders _yet_, but I know that I _will_ be going."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"It's not safe."

"You going _yourself_ isn't safe!" He hissed, his tone alarmed. "You need to have someone to have your back!"

"I'm sure the Seventh will provide me with someone who can carry their weight."

Yuzuru squinted. "Are you saying I can't?"

She tilted her head and looked at him sadly. "It's too dangerous, kid."

"How am I supposed to learn if you don't trust me?"

"I do trust you."

"Doesn't sound like it." He sighed and stood from his seat, pacing back and forth around the sofas, huffing every now and then, as though he couldn't figure out what to say. His eyes glanced at her every now and then, and every time she looked, Sakura felt guiltier. "You have to let me go."

"You only _just_ started training."

"I just started training to be an _iryōnin_, _not_ a regular ninja. I can pull my own damn weight."

A frustrated huff left her lips. "You know that's not why I'm not taking you."

"Why you _won't_ take me."

"I appreciate that you're looking out for me," she enunciated, "but I need you here. In Konoha."

With furrowed brows and a harsh breath, Yuzuru leaned his head against the back of the sofa, clearly at a loss for what to do. Every inch of him wanted to be there for her, and learn more from her, but she was right - just as she usually was. Sakura crossed her arms and a thousand thoughts ran through her mind about the predicament she was to face. When her disciple finally looked at her, his eyes had become calmer, and she could see the Yuzuru that was more like her. She huffed.

"We need more information," she stated, "and while I'm out there looking for it, I need you here to look at what we already have and try to make more sense of it."

"You're leaving me in charge?"

"No," she shook her head, "but I've asked Shizune to help you. You need someone with experience watching over you."

"Why not the Fifth?"

A sarcastic scoff passed through her lips. "I don't think you're ready to deal with her temper. Most people aren't."

Chocolate brown eyes rolled. "If you're gonna punish me and leave me here-"

"Not punishing you."

"-then at least let Lady Tsunade look over me." The look in his eyes was hard as he glared at her with determination. "Please. I want to be better."

Sakura made a sound in the back of her throat and sighed, running her fingers through her hair before finally settling her eyes on her disciple's hopeful face. She pinched the bridge of her nose and clicked her tongue in resignation. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed his shoulders relax and he let out a breath of triumph. "It won't be easy," she warned, "and you're gonna wanna quit _many_ times."

"Then I'll just have to keep working harder."

She gave him a small smile. "Exactly." Uncrossing her legs, she stood up and walked towards the door before looking at him one final time. "I'm counting on you, okay?"

Her feet were already outside the frame and the door was closing behind her before he could respond, but judging from the way the passing employees were looking into her office, she _knew_ that he was celebrating getting through to her stubbornness. Whether that was by dancing, intensely throwing his hands in the air, or playing air guitar - she didn't know, but a small part of her shared the triumph he felt. Surely enough, he was growing into a fine, determined young man.

Still, the cynical part of Sakura knew that he still had a lot to learn.

* * *

An unnerving silence filled the Hokage's office as Naruto skimmed through a report that had been sent from Sai, who was still in the field, monitoring the outpost in Kirigakure. Every time he reached the end of the document, his eyes would move up once more, and he would read the entire thing again, almost as though he was in disbelief. He clicked his tongue every now and then, and his gaze would shift from the document to Shikamaru, who patiently waited for the Hokage to say something. Shifting in his seat every now and then, it was apparent to Sakura that he was getting incredibly frustrated. Finally, he looked up from the paper he held and eyed her, his expression hesitant.

"Sakura-chan," he sighed, "it looks like you were right."

She blinked. "What?"

"I think you _do_ have to go on this mission…" he scowled, "...as much as I hate to admit it."

Her heart thumped. "I have to go?"

"According to Sai," Shikamaru explained, "the situation has shifted from being a 'monitoring' situation to an 'investigating' situation." He hesitated, his shoulders falling slightly as he looked at her. "It means that we have to start taking action."

"Which means sending me." She said flatly.

"If you want," Naruto chimed in, "we can assign someone to go with you."

"So I can babysit someone?"

Shikamaru scoffed. "So you'll have backup."

The two men stared at her, waiting for an answer, but truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure that she _needed_ another person. She was a _jōnin_, and she had been on plenty of difficult missions before. However, as much as she hated to admit it, this time around, the situation was much closer to her heart than previous times. She swallowed a lump in her throat and took a deep breath, and couldn't help but notice the way Naruto's face had winced in worry.

"Okay," she resolved, "do I get to choose?"

"Well-"

As Naruto began opening his mouth, they heard a soft knock on the door. Whirling her head around to look at the closed door, a sinking feeling in Sakura's stomach settled as her instinct told her that someone she didn't want to see was behind that door. Her heart began thumping in anticipation, and when Shikamaru called for the person to enter, she felt her anxiety simmer into a low fire. Her eyes caught sight of black hair that was now trimmed, and that permanent scowl that she wondered _how the hell_ she fell in love with appeared, before she looked at Sasuke's entire face and felt her heart drop.

As Sasuke closed the door behind him, Sakura turned to look at Naruto, her expression incredulous, when she realized that he wore the exact same expression as she did. Scoffing softly, she folded her arms and leaned her weight on one leg as Sasuke took his place next to her.

"Lord Seventh," he addressed Naruto coolly, "you summoned me?"

"Ah, yeah."

"What's this in _regards_ to?" Sakura asked, her voice so hard that she might as well have been grinding her jaw.

"I needed Sasuke to go on a mission for me."

"Don't tell me it's this one."

"No-"

"You're going on a mission?" Sasuke asked casually, turning his head towards his wife. Spearmint eyes glanced at him from the side, but Sakura said nothing. Instead, she focused her attention back to the blond man who stood before them, whose own eyes had suddenly become dull. She cleared her throat.

"I believe that whatever mission you've chosen for Sasuke to go on is a perfect fit for him."

Shikamaru, who certainly did not ask to be a part of this seemingly awkward situation, shifted his weight uncomfortably before he pulled a document off Naruto's desk and cleared his throat. As though he was being nudged, Naruto looked from his advisor to Sasuke, then finally, setting his eyes on Sakura. He drew in a deep breath.

"Sasuke," he said, his voice low, "you're gonna go to Suna to find some people that we haven't been able to locate in the last few months. They're important for this mission."

"So it's a bounty hunt."

"Not exactly, but I just need you to find them, rescue them if need be, and report back to me."

Sasuke hummed - a sound that Sakura _swears_ she never heard in her life - and turned towards her. His dark eyes moved up and down as he watched her, and she could do nothing but ignore him. After all, punching her husband into a wall wasn't exactly a good way to tell the world that she was having marital problems. She sighed and opened her mouth, but was quickly interrupted by the man who stood next to her.

"Maybe I should go with Sakura."

Her eyes widened then in anger, but looking at Naruto, there was a darkness that seemed to descend onto his face that didn't disappear even as he gave Sasuke his best, most convincing smile. Standing up, he dragged his feet and looked out the window behind his desk and stood with his arms at his side. He wasn't wearing his Hokage cloak that made him incredibly authoritative, but he exuded an energy that showed he was not one to be reckoned with. Sakura cleared her throat.

"I don't think," she started, "that that's exactly-"

"Sasuke." Naruto said, his voice low. "I need you in Suna. I get why you'd wanna go with her…"

The pink-haired woman might have been imagining it, but she heard the Seventh Hokage's voice tinge with a strange emotion.

"...but she has her duties, and you have yours."

Growing up, the two men had always been at odds with each other, thinking of one another as a rival. Sakura was a grown-ass woman, but upon remembering what their relationship _used_ to be, she felt herself tense up at how powerless she truly felt when it came to them. The Uchiha was never one to compromise, and it almost always ended in a brawl with Naruto, or at least a heated disagreement, which was why it took her by absolute surprise when Sasuke nodded his understanding and stood tall, waiting for further instruction.

"Alright. What are my orders there, once I've reported the whereabouts of these people?"

"You stay there for a few days," Naruto said diplomatically, turning around to look at him, "and keep an eye on the northern part of Suna. Gaara already knows you're going to be there, and he's arranged for a team of his best ninjas to assist you, should you need it."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "ANBU?"

The blond nodded. "They know the terrain. They'll be an asset to you."

The Uchiha nodded and bowed slightly before ducking out and heading out the door, letting it click shut behind him. Shikamaru, who had been watching the entire thing, cleared his throat and mumbled that he had to take a smoke break, and practically _sprinted_ out the door. With just her and Naruto in the room, Sakura stared at him with unadulterated confusion. "What was _that_?" She asked, her voice quiet.

He blinked. "What was what?"

"You looked so _pissed_ when he said he wanted to come with me."

Broad shoulders fell slightly. "I thought you wanted to do this yourself."

"No, of course I do!"

"Was I not supposed to defend that?"

Sakura sighed and lifted her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I just thought you'd let me tell him that myself."

When she looked at him, she saw that the lines in his face deepened, and that he was frowning. Surely, she wasn't actually angry with him for saying anything, but a teeny, tiny part of her questioned the tension that was evident between her two teammates. It was so incredibly intense that even Shikamaru had to leave the room. Naruto, who had been staring at her the entire time, finally cleared his throat and looked at his desk.

"You're, uh. You're right." His fingers fidgeted with the corner of a document on his desk. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm not… _mad_," she said softly, "I just think _you_ didn't have to be." She took a few steps forward until she was close enough to smell his cologne. "Like you said, I'll be fine."

He finally looked up at her and gave her a soft smile, his eyes lingering on hers before he took two steps back and cleared his throat.

"Still, Sakura-chan," he sighed, "I think you should take someone with you."

"Question is: who?"

"See," the Hokage smirked, "I think since I can't go with you, and Sasuke isn't going with you-" he winced at their teammate's name, "-then I think a very special _sensei_ should go with you."

She chuckled. "Seriously?"

"He expressed interest in going."

"He's an ex-Hokage."

Naruto snickered and shrugged. "You could just say it's a diplomatic mission. He's now an ambassador."

Rolling her eyes at him, she had to admit that he did have a point. No one would question an ex-Hokage being in Kirigakure on a diplomatic mission, especially since age-old rivalries had now dissolved and had been replaced with alliances. Sakura nodded, already planning in her head what routes they were going to take to get to Kirigakure, where they would camp while on the way there, and their course of action once they actually _got_ there. Turning towards the door, she felt the hairs on her neck stand on end when Naruto called her name, his tone softer than usual. When she looked at him, she felt her heart thump at the worried expression on her face.

"Sakura-chan," he whispered, "just…"

"I know," she nodded, "I'll be careful. I promise."

With one final nod, Sakura left Naruto's office just in time to see Shikamaru make his way back down the hallway from his smoke break. She smiled as they passed each other, thinking vaguely that he had nothing to feel awkward about - because they were _friends_. It was silly, and it would have been funny if she was actually convinced that she genuinely saw Naruto as a friend. She shook the thoughts of Naruto that were more than a little friendly from her mind, and reigned it in to focus on her mission with Kakashi ahead. Still, even as she made her way to the elevator, she couldn't shake the worried and anxious expression that Naruto always wore when he told her to be careful. Of course, he cared about all those who set out on missions on his behalf, but when it came to her, he would - without fail - always exorcise extra care.

The elevator doors closed and spearmint eyes watched as the number on the screen changed until finally, she was on the ground floor.

As the doors pulled open, Sakura almost stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that Sasuke was waiting for her.

In plain sight.

Where people could see him.

She let out a harsh breath and began making her way towards him, wanting to get his issues out of the way so she could just _leave_.

"You were waiting for me?" She said casually as she approached him. "Something you need?"

"No," he replied, "just wanted to wish you good luck on your mission."

"Oh."

"I'll see you when we both get home."

A pink eyebrow raised in question. "You're coming home?"

He looked at her seriously then, his dark eyes piercing through her like they had so many times before. As suddenly as she was angry at him, she felt the walls she carefully constructed start to tremble. She _hated_ that he could look at her a certain way, and she would feel her resolve weaken. Forcing herself to look at her feet, she willed the love that was now filled with cobwebs to go away, lest she start reminding herself of all the horrible things he did to her.

"I'll come home as long as you'll let me."

Sakura knew it would be a mistake to look up at him. Something in her conscience was telling her that it was a bad idea, but still, when he didn't move his feet at his clearly departing words, her chin raised in curiosity to look at him, and suddenly, she _knew_ she should have listened to her conscience.

His dark eyes burned into hers, like he was pouring his soul into her, and reaching forward with his hand, he tapped the yin seal in the middle of her forehead and gave her a soft smile. Though he couldn't see it, and though she couldn't feel the tears, she knew they were forming.

"I promise." He whispered to her finally, turning around to walk out of the Hokage Tower without looking back at her.

Sakura watched his back, just as she had always done, and wondered when she would stop loving the shell of a person who could not promise to love her. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, momentarily turning back towards the elevator, wondering if it was wise to love two people, and not know what the right thing to do was. No one was stopping her from taking the elevator all the way up to Naruto's office, to where he sat in his chair for most of his days, and crash their lips together in desperation. At the thought, Sakura bit her lip and worried it, telling herself she was an awful person for feeling regret at having lost more than just a part of herself. It _was_ her choice, after all.

In the end, she walked right out, and headed straight home.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	9. Clandestine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time to leave for the mission! Kakashi's face makes an appearance, Sakura is finally doing something more than research, and she feels more awake and lighter. It's almost like the old days of team 7. _Almost_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It was pointed out to me in a review on FFnet that Kakashi no longer has his Sharingan eye in canon LMAO and that I lowkey fucked up, which I obviously forgot because I am a goldfish. Never mind, though! I hope you guys don't mind that I am going to carry on as though his original eye wasn't replaced by Naruto, and that he still has the Sharingan, just for the purposes of plot! Enjoy reading xx

The skies were still dark when Sakura reached Konoha's gates.

She propped herself on the bench that was closest to them, remembering the night she had begged Sasuke to take her with him on his journey. She had told him she loved him, and it seemed like one of those memories she wished she could laugh at, but instead, her chest felt hollow at the image of Sasuke's indifferent expression before he uttered to her, 'You're annoying', and subsequently knocked her out. Of course, she woke up only a little while later, on the very bench she sat on, confused and heartbroken. She shook her head, willing the memories to go away, at least for a little while longer.

Looking at her surroundings, her mind began to fill with anxiety at the prospect of going on her first S-ranked mission in over a decade. Although it was a simpler mission than she knew she was making it up to be, it was only the first step to understanding _utsushō_. Even if she didn't find a treasure trove of information, she knew there was something wrong in Kirigakure, especially with official reports from Sai that there were outposts established there.

If outposts existed, that meant that _something_ was being produced, and if _utsushō_ was a catalyst like she was suspecting, that meant that the operation was much more underground than it seemed. That made it so blatantly dangerous that it caused goosebumps to run up the _kunoichi_'s spine.

Still, Sakura knew she didn't know enough. Not yet, anyway.

Sandals slapping against the stone floors were heard at a close distance until her eyes caught sight of a tall frame wearing a familiar white cloak that draped his body. As he came closer, Sakura noted the dark circles under his eyes and couldn't stop herself from frowning. He ran a hand through his blond hair and sat beside her, letting out a deep breath.

"Yo," he said quietly, "are you excited?"

"More nervous," Sakura answered honestly, noting how close his leg was to hers, "but that's normal, right?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"What it is you're looking for, I guess." Naruto shrugged, then sniffled. "Are you nervous about that?"

The _kunoichi_ hesitated and shifted in her seat, but when she felt the Hokage turn to look at her, she cleared her throat in earnest. "What I already know is bad enough, but I don't even have the full picture yet."

"When you do," Naruto encouraged her, "I have no doubt that you'll know exactly what to do."

"Could you not put so much faith in me?"

"Why not?"

"It's… it's too much."

Neither of them said a word, nor would they look at each other. Sakura wasn't technically lying when she said that it was too much, but God knows why. There had been a time that she was perceived as one of the greatest kunoichi after Lady Tsunade, but even titles and reputations such as those eventually die. She was an inheritor, sure, but so were a lot of the others. The pressure that she underwent while training under Lady Tsunade was nothing to the pressure she was putting on herself now, but she had to admit that it was a little hard to see through the fog.

"Why are you doubting yourself?" Naruto asked finally, his voice low.

"I've failed before."

"And you picked yourself up and kept going."

"That was when I had nothing to lose." She pushed a lock of pink hair behind her ear. "Now, it's different, because not only do I have something to lose, but there's also the possibility that I could let people down."

"What people?"

She bit her lip. "The families of the victims. My own daughter. Kakashi-sensei. You."

The blond snorted. "None of those people would be disappointed if you didn't do things perfectly. You're doing _something_ about it, and that counts for a lot, y'know."

"And what about you?" Sakura chuckled. "You're the one who assigned me this mission, so if I come back with nothing… how am I gonna look at you in the eye?"

The words had left her lips before she realized that that was _probably_ not an appropriate thing to say. Frankly, she wanted to kick herself for saying something so vulnerable to someone she was no longer close to. There had to be boundaries, but it seemed as though no matter how much she accidentally spurted things out of her mouth, the less boundaries there seemed to be. She felt closer to him in these instances, but a part of her knew that familiarity was a dangerous feeling.

"I've gone from trying to protect you," he said slowly, his eyes looking away from her, "to being protected _by_ you. You couldn't ever let me down, Sakura-chan, and you never will, y'know."

When spearmint eyes turned to look at him, they found that he was smiling her favorite smile, and it was all Sakura could do to hold back tears of gratitude. She blinked the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks, and gave Naruto an appreciative smile. Her mind lingered on the ease with which he said her name, and she couldn't help but kick herself for finding it hard to say _his_ name. _That's what fifteen years of pushing people away does to you_, she thought bitterly to herself.

"Kakashi-sensei sure is late," Sakura sighed, "but I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Maybe he overslept," Naruto chuckled, "like he's done a few hundred times."

"Speaking of sleep," she said cautiously, worrying that she was crossing some kind of line, "are _you_ doing it?"

She had forced herself to look at his face and waited for him to look at her, but Naruto merely moved forward and rested his elbows on his lap, his eyes averted to the ground. His sudden silence made Sakura's chest feel hollow, like suddenly, she was talking to a stranger she knew nothing about. Maybe it was partially true, but the fact that he found it difficult to look at her spoke volumes about what secrets he kept from her. Maybe there were more. Surely, on her end, there were _many_ more.

Parting her lips to gently call for him, Naruto finally took a deep breath and looked at her, the look in his eyes dull. "I'm trying, but it's gotten hard."

"Gotten?" Sakura blinked. "Has it been this way for a long time?"

"No, no," he shook his head and waved his hand, "just for the last couple months."

"That's a couple months too long, Naruto," she breathed, "and it's not good for you. You're not getting treated for it."

"I'm just making sure things are always going smoothly," he replied, "since I'm the Hokage now. It's my job."

"It's also your job to stay healthy for your people, so that you can lead properly."

"I rest," Naruto said stubbornly, "and when I do, I make sure there's at least two shadow clones doing work for me."

The _kunoichi_ couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Look, do you need something for it? When we get back, I can give you something, if you want."

"Nah," he shook his head, "it's probably just because of the nightmares I've been having."

Sakura frowned, noting the lilt in his voice had dropped slightly. "What kind of nightmares?"

"About my parents."

There were a number of times while they were still friends that Sakura was at a complete loss for what to say whenever he confided in her. Ironically, this was one of the times that she felt completely powerless in trying to support him, even though he always saw her as a tough person. Her fingers itched to touch his shoulder, to show sympathy and compassion in some kind of way. She lifted her wrist and hesitantly grazed her fingers upon his shoulders, half hoping that he wouldn't feel it, but when he lifted his eyes from the ground to look at her, she felt her heart thump.

Shit, she thought to herself.

"Don't worry about it," he said to her, smiling as genuinely as he could, "you have other things to worry about."

Just as she opened her mouth to protest, Naruto quickly looked away and Sakura followed suit to see their old sensei walk up to them, his gait as laidback as ever. He still wore a mask over his nose and mouth, despite the fact that people would surely still recognize him if he left Konoha that way. Raising a hand to wave, Naruto took that as his cue to stand up, straightening his pants as he smiled at Kakashi.

"Someone's late," he joked, "did you oversleep?"

"No," Kakashi responded casually, "was just double-checking that I had everything."

The older man glanced at Sakura. "It's been a while for me, too."

"Are you going to wear that the entire time we're traveling?" the _kunoichi_ asked, her tone worried. "Even though you're not the Hokage anymore, you're kind of hard to miss with that mask."

"And that Sharingan eye." Naruto chimed in.

"But mostly the mask," Sakura said, "since it's not really commonplace anymore."

"Relax," Kakashi said, raising his hands as though surrendering, "I'll take it off when we're on the way there. You know the route, right?"

"Well. Yeah."

"Away from the public eye?"

"Until we get to the port," Sakura nodded, "but why do you want to wait?"

"People won't recognize me as a previous Hokage once I take off this mask," Kakashi replied calculatedly, "because they'll be too focused on what I look like."

Sakura blinked, confused. "And that's a _good_ thing?"

"Trust his judgment, Sakura-chan," Naruto said encouragingly, "he's never led us somewhere that was dangerous on purpose."

"You'll see later," Kakashi winked, "and then you'll believe me."

"Please don't wink at me," Sakura cringed, while Naruto laughed good-naturedly.

Now that they were all older, Kakashi had become much more lax with the jokes he made. Sakura had to admit that they were funny, but funny in that way that was also cringe-worthy, because he had been their sensei. While Naruto would find these jokes hilarious, sometimes Sakura found herself rolling her eyes at how _bad_ these jokes were. Sakura stood up and gestured towards the gates with a head nod. The three of them walked together, with her in between the other two. It didn't matter how many years they were apart, because she felt as though she was reverting back to when she was sixteen years old.

Perhaps that feeling would never change whenever she was with them.

"So," Sakura said as the gates were pushed open by Kakashi, "we'll be gone a few days."

"Yeah," Naruto replied, "remember to stay safe."

"We will. We'll send word if anything's changed or urgent."

"Good."

The _kunoichi_ turned her shoulder and began to walk out the gates, following their _sensei_, but a heavy feeling settled in her stomach. Taking a deep breath and expelling it through her mouth, she turned around to face Naruto, whose eyebrows were raised when she looked at him. Her eyes studied his face and noticed that his jaw was shivering just the slightest bit, but he still maintained his warm, encouraging smile that she forgot how much she loved. Offering a smile of her own, she decided then and there that she would be there for him as much as he had been there for her.

"When I come back," she said, "you can tell me everything."

Naruto's eyes widened, the vibrant blue as lively as ever. They faded into a range of emotions, before he processed her words properly, and he tilted his head in question. "Everything?"

"Your parents," she said quietly, "your nightmares. Everything."

Naruto cleared his throat and averted his eyes to his feet. She wanted to ask, wanted to know, why he suddenly looked away, but she kept her eyes on him and bit her tongue.

"Sure," he said finally, "maybe over a bowl of ramen?"

Sakura smiled, feeling as though her heart was settling in her chest. "Obviously."

Raising her hand as she waved goodbye, she quickly made her way through to where Kakashi stood waiting for her. Not uttering a word, Kakashi motioned for her to walk alongside him, but not before they both looked back towards the green gates that were now closed. Sakura's face softened as her steps fell into the same rhythm as Kakashi's, and allowed the silence between them to sit in the air. It was easy and it was familiar, but in an entirely different way that things were familiar with Naruto.

As they made their way towards the path that they often ventured in their earlier days, Sakura looked up at the winter skies and smiled to herself. Normally, awakening to a new dawn made her bones ache with the notion that she didn't quite fit into herself, but for the first time in over a decade, she felt as though she was right where she was supposed to be.

_Everything_, she reminded herself with a heaviness in her chest, _he can tell me everything_.

* * *

Although neither she and Kakashi had been on an S-ranked mission in an incredibly long time, it seemed that once they set out, their bodies remembered the physical intensity of being a ninja. They started out merely walking, but at some point, they both let out an exasperated breath before they made their way in between trees, using the chakra in their feet and hands to aid them. Though they were mostly in Konoha in their daily lives, there were ways to ensure that their techniques and skills didn't become rusty.

Stopping at a lower branch of one of the taller trees, Kakashi turned to look at Sakura and raised a hand to his mask. Stopping one tree behind him, the _kunoichi_ shot him a questioning gaze.

"We're almost at the port," he said, his voice low, "but there's a lot of people."

"Travelers?"

"Looks like a mix."

"What do we do, then?" She asked, her tone confused. "If there's a lot of people, we can get through easier."

"They're doing ID checks," Kakashi replied, "and it doesn't look like these people are going to Kiri for some sightseeing."

Sakura felt the veins in her body turn cold. "What does _that_ mean?"

"It's hard to tell, but we have to stay low for now."

All she could do was stare blankly at her _sensei_, who maintained his gaze on her so that she understood what needed to be done. She gulped and slowly nodded, though she was worried that they wouldn't be able to use the rest of the day to get to Kirigakure. Taking a deep breath and softly clearing her throat, she nodded at Kakashi, who proceeded to gesture that they needed to get down from the trees. His feet dropping to the forest floor was silent, and no leaves rustled as he landed, with Sakura following suit.

Once her sandals touched the soft earth, she re-adjusted her winter coat, pulling it tighter around her before she started to shiver from the cold air again. They were closer to the ocean now, after all. When she raised her gaze to look at Kakashi, his hand was still on his mask. Spearmint eyes widened in surprise.

"Now?" She asked.

"There's no other time to do it."

Long fingers pulled down the mask that covered his nose and mouth, folding it carefully and hiding it in his shirt that he wore under his coat. He ran a hand through his silver hair and ruffled it, teasing the tips, making himself appear more disheveled. Sakura watched in awe, studying his features and thinking that the rumors that he had left a trail of broken hearts was most definitely true. His sharp jaw and nose were definitely prominent features, and he had a beauty mark near his lips which were surprisingly plump and appeared soft. Hatake Kakashi was almost like an _entirely_ different person. Sakura nodded to herself, as though silently approving of what she saw.

Kakashi looked up at her with an indifferent gaze. "What?"

"Nothing," Sakura replied, her voice coming out higher than she would have liked, "just, uh. Wondering if all those rumors we heard about you were true."

"What rumors?"

"That you were a heartbreaker."

He snorted. "Hardly. I think people read too much into it."

Sakura shrugged and smiled at him. Pulling the straps of his backpack tighter over his shoulders, he nodded towards the port town with a solemn expression. They walked side by side, and Sakura made a mental checklist of all the _kunai_ she kept in her coat, and as they stepped into the area, she noted the number of herb shops that surrounded them. There were crowds of people around them looking around and shopping for seafood, which the area apparently specialized in.

"Are we heading to an inn first?" She asked loud enough for just Kakashi to hear.

"Probably just a tea shop first," he replied, "don't want to attract too much attention when there's this many people."

They made their way through the alleyways in an attempt to dodge shopkeepers who were too good at marketing their products, but every now and then, Kakashi would be stopped by younger women who seemed to be escorts looking for clients. Sakura wanted to laugh every single time her _sensei_ made an attempt to politely turn them down, especially because the women were so persistent. Eventually, they had to avoid the alleyways, too, and just had to put up with lively shopkeepers and hope that they weren't too suspicious or conspicuous.

Before long, they reached a tea shop that seemed to fit Kakashi's taste, and they stepped inside.

It was packed with people, some of whom were obvious travelers such as they were. Spearmint eyes cautiously examined the other customers who made up the majority of the shop, who seemed to be citizens of the port town. They were smiling and laughing, giving the impression that things were normal around here, but there was some kind of aura in the atmosphere that caused Sakura's nerves to be on edge. Her eyes flitted to a hostess wearing a lovely kimono who approached them, her smile soft and demure.

"A table for two?" She asked, her voice as soft as silk.

"Yes, please," Kakashi nodded, "could we get a seat near a window?"

The woman nodded and held out a hand to gesture the direction she was leading them. Sakura only caught a quick glimpse of her hands, since the floral pattern of her _furisode_ sleeve was quite attention-grabbing, but she was surely not mistaken when she saw an intricate tattoo on her palm. Feigning a smile at the hostess, Sakura placed herself between Kakashi and the other woman in the hopes of getting a closer look at the tattoo. The hostess, whether aware or not, kept her hands skillfully hidden by her sleeve.

"Your table is here," she said eventually, gesturing towards a square table, "please do look through the menu and call for me when you are ready to order."

"Thank you." Sakura smiled as the hostess bowed and walked away, disappearing into what she could only assume was the kitchen.

"Something funny about this place?" Kakashi asked, his voice low as he flipped through a menu.

"It just feels weird."

"You talking about the atmosphere?"

"You feel it too?"

"Of course," the older man replied, glancing at her, "and I bet it has to do with those merchants at the port."

"She has a tattoo," Sakura whispered, "on her palm, but it doesn't look like it's just for show."

"Like something to identify her?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "it seems too weird to be a coincidence. If there's an outpost in Kiri, this port town is close enough to it for _utsushō_ to be smuggled in and out."

Kakashi had kept his Sharingan eye closed the entire time that they were walking through the shops, but at Sakura's words, he opened his other eye and discreetly looked around them. Even without saying a word, the _kunoichi_ knew that he was studying the behavior of the other customers. Of course, he didn't need the Sharingan to study them, but she understood that her _sensei_ liked to be cautious and would interfere, in the event that he had to. Her fingers lingered at the edges of the pages of the menu, and she idly made conversation the drinks and food as Kakashi kept his gaze low enough to keep observing.

"It says the _hōjicha_ is really popular here," Sakura feigned enthusiasm, "do you want some?"

"You know I hate _hōjicha_."

"You want to stick with _matcha_?"

"Of course," Kakashi replied, looking at her and forcing himself to smile, "so while you order, I'm gonna head to the restroom."

Sakura nodded and raised a hand to call for the hostess. "Excuse me, we would like to order!"

"Could you also point me in the direction of the restroom?" Kakashi asked politely, his left eye already closed before the hostess even reached their table.

"It's back there and to the right," the hostess gestured towards the kitchen, "it's hard to miss."

As Kakashi stood up, he shot Sakura a quick look before disappearing and the _kunoichi_ cleared her throat and offered the hostess a smile. "One _hōjicha_ and one _matcha_, please."

The hostess nodded and bowed, a lock of black hair falling from her done up hair. "You will receive your order in a few minutes."

"Can I ask you something?"

Dark eyes looked upon Sakura, and something about that gaze was no longer friendly, but instead it was incredibly guarded. As though she was keeping something secret. "Of course."

"My partner and I have never been here before," she lied, "but we heard that this area is an up-and-coming port town."

The hostess visibly relaxed and smiled. "Merchants have been doing a lot of trade here in Suiren, and it's really helped a lot of shops like this one to stay in business."

"Merchants?"

"Yes," the hostess nodded, "they come from Kirigakure and travel here often, kind of like business trips."

Sakura tilted her head. "Business trips for merchants?"

"That's what they call them," the hostess shrugged, "but… it's gotten harder for people to come and leave Suiren, lately."

"Why's that?"

"Don't know," she said, her tone uncertain, "but it's good for the citizens here."

If she was being completely honest with herself, Sakura could sense that the hostess of the tea shop simultaneously _knew_ something, and _didn't_ know something. Glancing near the kitchen where she saw Kakashi walk back towards the table, Sakura leaned closer to the hostess and lowered her voice.

"Does that tattoo have anything to do with the merchants?"

The hostess' eyes widened at the question and she gulped, looking around her in a panic. Before she could walk away, Kakashi stood behind her and asked her to stay still.

"You're not in trouble," he whispered, "we just need to know what's going on."

"I don't know anything," the hostess replied, her voice trembling, "I swear."

"That tattoo suggests otherwise."

"It's just a tattoo."

"It's a tattoo that was typically used by Kiri nin to mark blackmailed targets before the Fourth Shinobi War," Sakura explained calmly, "which means that someone is holding your life over your head if you're not doing something for them."

The atmosphere in the restaurant had not changed, but rather, it was buzzing even more than it was before. Customers were still laughing, still enjoying their meals and their drinks, but the hostess' demure aura no longer existed, and it was the first time that Sakura saw bloodshot eyes that were beginning to panic.

"We're not going to hurt you," Sakura said gently, "we promise." She signaled for Kakashi to sit down as though they were still ordering their food, and the hostess took a shaky breath and glanced at both of them with fear.

"There's… this drug… and a lot of the shops here," she began, "were threatened."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"If we didn't put a specified amount of it in our foods and drinks to serve our customers," she whispered, averting her eyes to the floor, "they would kill us."

Sakura frowned. "Who's 'they'?"

"The merchants."

At that exact moment, the crash of glass was heard when a cup of hot tea fell to the floor, startling the entire shop. Sakura and Kakashi gave each other a look. Two customers, who were sitting together, stood up and began beating each other up. One of them was thrown onto the table and was punched hard in the face, and Sakura could see blood on his knuckles. Kakashi stood up immediately, making his way over to the two customers, pulling them off each other.

"What happened here?" he asked, his voice hard. "You're in a public space. Have some respect."

"He knocked over my drink," the first man - the one with the bloody knuckles - responded, "and I just… lost it."

"Are you drunk?" Kakashi asked simply. "It's just a cup."

Sakura glanced at the hostess, whose expression held guilt. While her _sensei_ attempted to calm both of the customers down, the pink-haired woman stood up to face the hostess, who would no longer look her in the eye. Tightening her fists and her jaw, Sakura reminded herself to take a deep breath and to calm herself down. The other customers in the tea shop had resumed their previous activities, almost the same as it was before.

"Did they just have some of that drug?"

The hostess hesitated, fiddling with her sleeve. "Yes."

"What's your name?"

Dark eyes looked up at Sakura, still as bloodshot as they were before. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman, except that she, whether or not she understood it, had aided smugglers and merchants who were illegally selling drugs. Still, Sakura knew that part of her job was to protect those who were defenseless. Surely, the situation was a lot more in the grey area than she had anticipated.

"Rena."

"Okay, Rena," Sakura started, "I need you to tell me which stalls are also drugging their customers."

The woman winced. "When you put it like that…"

"That _is_ what this tea shop was doing," Sakura said sullenly, "but I understand that you were scared." She tucked a lock of pink hair behind her ear and frowned. "We all do things we regret later because we were scared."

Rena nodded and took a deep breath, her eyes suddenly exhausted and fatigued. From the folds of her kimono, she pulled out a small note pad and began writing a list of names. She then ripped it from the pad and handed the piece of paper to Sakura, looking her directly in the eye.

"These are the shops around here that are also like us," she began, "and they currently have more of that drug than we do, because of the festival tonight."

Sakura nodded slowly, processing her words. "What festival?"

"The Oniyo festival."

"Is that the one with all the fireworks every single winter?" Kakashi chimed in, taking his place next to Sakura.

"Yes," Rena nodded, "and it's when a lot of the people here buy that drug from merchants."

Sakura found herself staring at the woman before her, and a sense of uneasiness settled onto her shoulders. "Rena… how long have you been taking _utsushō_?"

The dark-haired woman blinked in surprise. "I never said it was."

"You didn't have to," Sakura said sadly, "I can tell."

The two women exchanged a glance and Rena sighed, her eyes tearing up. Still, she tried to smile through her tears and reached for Sakura's hands, pretending she was handing her something. Frail hands felt even more so as Sakura held them, and when she looked down, she noticed that Rena's palms were upturned, revealing the intricate tattoo that looked far from painless to etch into her skin. Grazing her fingers upon the dark ink, Sakura frowned when Rena drew in a sharp breath, still clearly traumatized by the sheer act of the symbol being carved into her skin. Without question, someone had done it to her forcefully.

"We'll do something," Sakura whispered softly, "I promise."

* * *

Plans to go to Kirigakure were in no way delayed, but Sakura knew that she couldn't stay in Sensui knowing that there were people like Rena who who were being blackmailed. On top of that, there were people who were so deeply entrenched in taking _utsushō_ that they likely didn't remember crucial details about their own lives. Sakura thought back to the two men in the tea shop that Kakashi had to get in between, and the uneasiness she felt only doubled. Noticing her tense shoulders, Kakashi cleared his throat, catching her attention.

"What?" Sakura asked casually. "You see something?"

"No," Kakashi drawled, "but something's bothering you. What is it?"

"You don't typically get in between people who are fighting," Sakura sighed, "especially if it attracts attention. Why did you break those two people up?"

"The bloodlust was too heavy for me to ignore," Kakashi replied simply, "and I didn't want potentially corrupt authorities to show up. That would've been trouble."

"He said he lost himself."

"He did."

"He must've been taking _utsushō_ for an extended period of time."

"Are those the side effects?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"One of," Sakura nodded, "before they go completely insane. But even that takes a long while, and a lot of exposure."

Kakashi didn't utter another word as they made their way through the town again, looking for the names of the shops that Rena had listed down for them. Since the stalls were in such close quarters, it was actually harder than it was easier to find the ones they were looking for. Some of the overhead signs were faded, while others had missing kanji. Thankfully, Kakashi was able to read most of the signs with ease. Spearmint eyes looked at the harbor, where people were still being ID'd before they were let on or off a boat. They were going to lose daylight, that was definitely a certainty.

"I feel bad that we can't fix things here right now," Sakura whispered as they approached what looked to be the fifth and last shop on their list, "even though the immediate danger is right before us…"

"You've always been that way, but it's not a weakness."

"You've always said that."

"Because it's the truth," Kakashi reassured her, "and you know that once we find more information in Kiri, then you can use that to change things. And we'll all be here to help you."

They stood at the _genkan_ of the shop when Sakura turned to look at him with widened eyes. The older man smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "Don't sell yourself short yet. We're only just starting."

He went ahead of her and ducked his head, stepping inside and Sakura heard the booming '_irasshai!_' from what could only be the shopkeeper. It was an _izakaya_, but it wasn't as packed as it was at the tea shop they were at earlier. Sakura watched as Kakashi approached the cashier where an older man stood, his expression cautious. She looked around, wondering if the customers being quieter in a place with alcohol was normal or not. Any time she made eye contact with a customer, she would stare at them hard enough until they turned away and resumed drinking, intimidated.

Drawing in a deep breath, Sakura stepped forward and stood beside Kakashi, who had been asking the old man whether officials had come by to his _izakaya_ often.

"They only come here every once in a while."

"How often?" Kakashi pressed. "There has to be a reason that they come by here, no?"

The old man, whose eyes were bloodshot, but not as much as Rena's, glanced at Sakura and pursed his lips. "Who are you, exactly? Bounty hunters?"

"No," Sakura chimed in before Kakashi could open his mouth, "just some passersby looking for some information."

"What's it worth to ya?" The old man asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"Judging by the atmosphere of this place," Sakura glowered, "and by your bloodshot eyes that people mistake for being too dry from the cold, you know something about some drug smugglers."

"Wha-? Bloodshot eyes?"

"Listen," Sakura whispered, bringing her face closer to his, "I know for a _fact_ that you were forced to drug your customers with _utsushō_, because your life and your family's lives were threatened."

The old man, whose lines had sunken into his face, wore the same expression of fatigue that Rena and the other four people wore. Perhaps they weren't getting enough sleep, or they were having nightmares, but either way, Sakura knew from research that it was difficult for people to live their daily lives without having even just a little bit of _utsushō_. In that way, she knew that she may have come off as forceful, or even unkind, but in the long run, she knew she needed more answers and solutions than problems.

Reaching for a key in a drawer, the old man, who never revealed his name, sighed and motioned for Kakashi and Sakura to follow him to a back room that he unlocked. The two hesitated at first, but after the man insisted that they come inside, they merely left their guards up in case it was a setup. They sat down on one of the plush sofas and watched as the old man closed the door and sat across from them, his demeanor entirely different from when he was at the front desk.

"I apologize for being crude," he began, the sound of his voice reminiscent of the creaking of old wooden floors, "but someone is always listening."

"That's understandable," Kakashi nodded, "so can you tell us what you know?"

"What have the other shops told you?"

"That there's one guy who oversees the operations here, and makes sure that shops like yours are lacing food and drink with the drug," Sakura responded calmly, "but none of them know his name because he never actually shows up to their shops."

"But they say he shows up to yours," Kakashi added, "which I find strange, unless there's a special reason he comes here."

"His name is Shin," the old man began, "and he comes here because this is where he keeps a large stash of utsushō. He has a close relationship with our cook, but because I own the place, I'm the only other person who knows about it."

"Is the cook also being threatened and blackmailed?"

"Yes," the old man nodded, "so he also has no choice."

Sakura paused and glanced at his hands, which he kept folded neatly in his lap. "May I see your tattoo?"

Milky eyes looked up at her, hesitating.

"It's okay," Sakura assured him, "I just want to see."

Raising a trembling hand and overturning it so she could see the same mark that she saw on Rena, Sakura extended a hand, silently asking if she could take a closer look. The old man nodded slightly, and allowed her to examine it, turning his hand this way and that, before she sighed and looked at him with a worried expression on her face.

"How did they do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"The more I look at it… the less it looks like a tattoo."

"It's not."

Sakura and Kakashi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "But it's the same technique that Kiri _shinobi_ used in the past-"

"_Those_ were tattoos, yes," the old man nodded, "but these… are like when you brand an animal with hot metal."

At the choice of his words, Sakura felt her entire body tense. She pictured the heat being pressed into their palms, or what was more likely was that the hot metal was shoved into their hands as a fear tactic. Her breathing began to quicken at the images, at the amount of blood there surely was, and tears began to form in her eyes. When she had figured that they were tattoos, it meant that victims were knocked out and their marks tattooed onto them, so they only felt it when they awoke, but this was an entirely different deal.

She was filled with an indescribable rage, something that made her unconsciously focus chakra into her fists, and it was only when Kakashi held her wrist that her breathing calmed. She looked to her _sensei_ with tears still in her eyes, and he nodded at her, acknowledging her emotions.

"Sir," Sakura whispered, "do you mind if I try to alleviate the pain a little bit?"

"Sure," the old man replied, "there's some herbal shops nearby-"

The pink-haired woman still held his wrist in her hand, and she slowly raised her other hand and hovered it over his wound, allowing her focus to manifest into the form of healing chakra. She let it stay there a while, looking to the old man's expression as her cue when it no longer hurt as much as it did before. When she saw that the mark would not go away, she frowned, but gently placed his hand on his knee, and retracted her own hand.

The marks were permanent, like tattoos.

But the incredulous violence that was inflicted upon innocent people was what was getting her blood boiling. She leaned back in her seat and looked at her hands in her lap.

"If you don't mind me asking," Kakashi said to the old man softly, "how did you know about the tattoos that the Kiri _shinobi_ gave their victims?"

"My dad had one on his hand."

The silence that filled the small room was profound as both Kakashi and Sakura stared at the old man, completely at a loss for what to say to him. That meant that it was very likely that his father was killed, or that the Kiri nin who had branded that tattoo unto him was killed first.

The latter was less likely.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kakashi said finally, "that must have been tough."

The old man nodded. "If you need to know where Shin is, he hangs out around the harbor. Those guards you see that are checking for ID are his, but there's an inn nearby that he stays at."

"Is there heavy security?"

"Yes," the old man nodded, "but surely you can come up with something."

"We can," Sakura reassured him, "so thank you. For everything."

"Thank _you_, ma'am," he offered her a smile, "my hand hasn't felt like this in years. I hope you get him, so we can all go home without having to worry that we'd be killed the next day."

Sakura had gone out ahead of Kakashi, standing outside the _izakaya_ and was breathing heavily. No matter how many years she spent looking at wounds and blood, there was always a limit. She drew in a deep breath and blinked away more tears that threatened to spill from her eyes, but more than anything, she was feeling that same rage that she felt earlier, if not amplified.

"Sakura," Kakashi called out to her when he stepped outside, "I know how you feel, but let's go get him. That's what Team Seven does best, isn't it?"

The pink-haired woman scoffed. "Half of Team Seven isn't even here, and I'm starting to doubt why Naruto _ever_ put me on this mission."

"Because even through your tears of anger, he knows that you'll pull through."

"He puts too much faith in me, Kakashi-sensei," she retorted, "I can't _do_ this."

"When you thought no one believed in you," the older man said calmly, "he was your number one supporter. He knew you wouldn't let him down."

The same words that were uttered by Naruto that very morning were echoing now, resounding in her head as though it was to serve as a mantra for her to get through this. She didn't remember how she ever did her missions without feeling this way, but she knew deep down that she had to cut herself some slack. This mission was different. This mission could potentially harm those closest to her, yet again. She took a deep breath and looked towards the harbor, resolving to knock down doors to find this Shin who preyed on innocent people. Grinding her teeth in anticipation, she turned towards Kakashi.

"Let's go," she said with triumph, "we don't have a lot of time before the last boat."

* * *

The plan was set: Kakashi would be the decoy, and Sakura would sneak in through a window.

Surely, with so many guards stationed _around_ the perimeter, the pink-haired _kunoichi_ could do something from the inside. It was likely that the staff that worked inside the inn would alert Shin or his guards that there were intruders. As Sakura made her way to the back of the inn, she ran through the plan inside her mind, knowing that Kakashi would be buying her time to get to the receptionist's desk and figuring something out that didn't attract attention.

"I'll act as a prospective buyer," Kakashi had told her, "and then I'll put them under a _genjutsu_."

"In that time, I'll figure out what room he's in."

"Be careful," he had told her with a worried tone, "never let your guard down."

"I never do."

Making her way to an open window, Sakura used her chakra to scale the walls and gently coaxed the window all the way open for her to fit through. So far, in her scope of sight, there was no one around, which either meant that there was hardly anyone in the inn, or everyone who _was_ in it worked for Shin. There wasn't really any way for Sakura to tell which one was more likely, and so she quickly pulled a _kunai_ from her coat and hid it in her hand as she approached the front desk. A receptionist sat there, sifting through what looked like financial records, before she finally looked up at Sakura and offered a smile.

"Welcome to the Suika Inn," she said in a rather singsong voice, "would you like a room?"

"Actually, I'm just here to pay someone a visit."

"Sure," she replied earnestly, "could I have the name of the guest that you would like to see?"

"His name is Shin," Sakura noted the slight fall in the receptionist's smile, "but he didn't give me a room number."

"I'm sorry, Miss," the receptionist said, "but I need to check with him first that he is expecting you. Safety measures, after all."

"Of course," Sakura nodded and smiled, "I can wait here."

Hesitantly smiling, the receptionist stood from the front desk and disappeared into a back room. Sakura was aware that she didn't have much time, but she quickly went behind the counter and found the roster with the guests' names inside. Skimming through the names in a haste, she quickly found the name Shin and retreated, pretending to pace back and forth and look at the art that hung on the walls around her. By now, Kakashi should have been done with the guards at the other entrance.

Sakura was gazing up at artwork of floral design when the receptionist came back from the back room and feigned a smile. "Excuse me, Miss. May I ask for what purpose that you would like to see Shin-san?"

"Ah," Sakura said, feigning politeness, "my partner wanted to discuss business with him, and said that he had an appointment today. He wanted to purchase something from this Shin."

"Of course, I understand," the receptionist said, "give me just one moment."

As she disappeared once more into the back room, Kakashi came from the other side of the lobby, barely ruffled up from his encounter with the guards outside. He swaggered over to Sakura, his expression unfazed. When he was close enough for him to lower his voice and still have her hear him, he stopped.

"What did the receptionist say?"

"I think she's checking with him that she can let us in," Sakura whispered back, "but I already figured out what room he's in, just in case she won't tell us."

On a busy day such as the Oniyo festival, surely a drug smuggler such as Shin wanted to make as much profit as possible. The whole concept of 'high risk, high reward' was at major play here, and Sakura _wanted_ to use it to her advantage. They waited patiently for the receptionist to come out again, and when she finally did, her expression was less friendly, and was more frantic, instead. She bowed forward, her expression apologetic.

"I am so sorry," she uttered with her head still bowed, "but Shin-san isn't seeing anyone today. Perhaps you can come another day?"

"We understand," Kakashi nodded, "though it would have been nice to see him today, what with the Oniyo festival being tonight."

The receptionist's eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise at Kakashi's words, and just as the two were about to walk away in feigned dejection, she called out:

"Wait!"

Reaching into a drawer, she pulled out a key that surely led to Shin's room, and motioned for Kakashi and Sakura to follow her. The presence of her silence made the air around them astoundingly cold, which was a stark difference from her personality while she sat at the front desk. Eventually they came upon a hallway that was somewhat more secluded, and she rapped three times on the last door.

She turned to give Kakashi and Sakura a meaningful look. "Since it's for the Oniyo festival, I'm making this exception for you to see him." Bowing again, she bade them farewell and walked away, the sound of her swishing kimono the last thing they heard from her before she disappeared.

"Remember," Kakashi said, "we have to do this quick if we're gonna get onto a boat without his people checking us."

"What's important is the outpost," Sakura said, a smile spreading on her lips as she heard footsteps approach the door, "which means we have to get some information out of him, no matter what."

The door slowly creaked open, and Sakura took a deep breath to calm the thunderstorm that was brewing inside her.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	10. Nanadaime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His dream job, surrounded by friends, and a wife and kids anyone would kill for- so why does Naruto feel incomplete? A peek through the Seventh's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We've reached the first ten chapters of this story! I want to thank everyone who has been reading up until this point, and I hope you will continue to read until the very end! A new _exciting_ thing I decided to add to this fic, since it's been requested by people who have contacted me personally, is a point of view change! This fic will still stay primarily Sakura-centric in terms of the point of view, but starting with this chapter, I'll shift to Naruto's perspective every few chapters or so, but don't worry because you'll know it's his perspective by the chapter title - Nanadaime! This way, the story takes both of their lives and feelings into account! I hope you enjoy.
> 
> As a side note, I know that this has taken a while to update. Things have been going on, and I got an internship that I didn't think I would get, which essentially means I didn't have any time for myself. But I'm trying, and I'm going to start trying with this chapter x

The paperwork seemed to be endless, as was his desire to just _sleep_.

It didn't matter where, really. Since becoming the Seventh Hokage, Naruto fell asleep often at his desk, or on the sofa that Shikamaru had set up in the office a few months after he was officially instated, or while eating his lunch. To everyone's chagrin, he often had to strain to keep his eyes open during meetings sometimes. Everyone knew he wasn't doing it on purpose, but it still made official matters more difficult to get through, and deal with, on time. At the end of the day, they couldn't complain, because contrary to mannerisms he had as a child that everyone thought he wouldn't get rid of, his signature and seal would always be at the bottom of documents, signifying he took his job _very_ seriously.

Regardless of the fact that he knew sleep was crucial to being able to do his job properly, the Seventh Hokage refused to miss out on anything, even if he died by lack of sleep.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," Shikamaru scolded him one evening after their final meeting of the day.

"Konoha needs me."

"Which is exactly why you being half slumped over your desk isn't conducive to your job. You need rest, you need a _bed_."

"Install one here like you did the sofa," Naruto chuckled, "better yet, install a whole damn studio apartment in here if you're so worried about me snoozing."

"Don't think Hinata would be okay with that."

The blond drew in a breath. "You're probably right. I work so much, I hardly see them."

"So take some days off."

"I can't just-"

Shikamaru walked over to his desk and patted a hand on his shoulder. "You can. I think she would appreciate it, too." He paused, shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and sighed. "Coming home to a cold meal is better than no meal at all."

Blue eyes lost their usual glimmer as they turned to look at Shikamaru, who offered a sympathetic smile and began walking towards the exit.

The Hokage watched his trusted advisor open the door and he parted his lips slightly, his words barely audible. "The meals are never cold." Shikamaru came to a brief halt, turning his head slightly to look back at Naruto, an unreadable expression on his face. The dark-haired man let out a quiet sigh and waved, closing the door behind him as he left for the night.

As his office became eerily silent, Naruto's eyes averted to the photo frames on his desk. He examined each one without lifting them from their spots, remembering the day that Hinata had helped him set up the photo frames in just the right order, telling him that they were perfectly placed. He had smiled at her then, kissed her on the cheek, and bade her farewell, promising that he would be home for dinner that night.

He stared at a photo of her now, feeling nothing but something akin to tolerance.

Did he love her?

Yes.

At least, that was the official response, because there was no way he could spend fifteen years with someone and have the audacity to say that he _didn't_ love her. Not after she spent endless nights waiting for him after putting their two children to sleep, and not after fifteen years of dedication to her role as the Hokage's wife. He always came home to a smiling Hinata, who rarely complained that he came back late - and even if she did, it felt like she was too afraid to say what was really on her mind. She'd kiss him, tell him that dinner was in the fridge, and wait for him in their bedroom.

Not like they ever _did_ anything in the bedroom anymore.

Cerulean eyes fell upon another photo frame, one that he'd placed on his desk a few weeks after he began his job as the Hokage. He examined it fondly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Where would he be without his grey-haired, porn-reading teacher?

Where would he be without his two teammates?

Roots were important, knowing where you _came from_ was important.

Mostly because he didn't _have_ that while he was growing up.

Naruto sighed, leaning back in his chair. It wasn't that late yet, but he knew that once Shikamaru left the building, any other staff would begin packing up, too. Normally, he would have a shadow clone either stay in the office, or send it home to at least eat dinner with the family while he worked into the late hours of the night. He felt that something was amiss, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fact that he, oddly enough, couldn't muster the chakra to form the seals. Or maybe it was the fact that he was lying to himself and what he didn't have the energy for was himself.

He was becoming someone he didn't like.

Drawing in a sharp breath, he stood up and fumbled to put on his coat. In just a few strides, he was out his office door and was heading towards the elevators. Thankfully, there weren't many people around, and of the ones who were, they merely bowed their heads at him before bidding him a good evening. He smiled, becoming painfully aware that he had gotten incredibly good at faking it, and stepped into the elevator, letting the doors close in front of him.

The lobby was a ghost town as he walked out, towards the harbor where trade ships would come in during the early hours of the morning. He remembered sitting there with Sakura, remembered almost grazing her lips, and wanted to kick himself. It wasn't that he thought he should've done it, because of course he wouldn't have.

It was that he let indulgence take over, even if just for a second.

Biting his lip as he approached closer to the harbor, he looked for a spot to sit on one of the docks closest to the water. The wind was biting at his knuckles and his cheeks, and he could feel the cold wood against the back of his legs as he sat. He breathed, seeing his breath before him.

If he wasn't going to sleep, he could at least listen to the water.

The insomnia only had started getting worse in the last couple of years, though he liked to tell everyone it had only been a few months. They would worry less, and no one would even dare to insinuate that he couldn't do his job as Hokage. He had once been full of hope, full of determination to do whatever it took to protect his village.

But he was growing weary.

He turned his head slightly when he heard a rustle behind him, not at all surprised. Entwining his fingers together, he sighed.

"What're you doing here, Sai?"

"Doing my job," the pale man answered, "since I _am_ ANBU."

"You're supposed to just watch from the shadows," Naruto whined, "I need some _peace_ here, man."

Sai shrugged, but didn't take a step forward to sit down next to his friend. Instead, he stood straight, his arms at his side like a soldier waiting for orders. He didn't move even when Naruto turned around to look at him directly, and only relaxed when Naruto sighed and gestured with his head to sit on the docks beside him.

"While you're here," Naruto breathed, "you got any updates for me?"

"Just that Kakashi-senpai and Sakura are preparing for their trip tomorrow."

"Anything else?"

"Sasuke isn't happy about the mission you're sending him on."

"That's no surprise," Naruto sighed, "that guy only wants to do what he likes."

"But he listens to you."

"For selfish reasons, I'm sure."

The wind whooshed around them and Naruto felt a deep chill, shivering as he pulled his coat tighter around him. He looked to Sai, whose coat was definitely something more of an autumn jacket. The Hokage chuckled.

"Do you never learn from your countless colds during the winter-"

"Why is Sasuke back?" Sai asked suddenly, cutting Naruto off. "He left for fifteen years, and suddenly he's back?"

"Yeah."

"You're okay with that?"

"It's not my job to order him around-"

"That's a load of horseshit."

"Sai," Naruto said sternly, "he's back because I asked him for help."

"Isn't that ordering him around?"

"I asked _as a friend_."

"Some _friend_, leaving you, his village, and his _wife_ for fifteen years."

In all the years the new each other, Sai never got angry. There were the few rare times, and all of them seemingly had to do with Sasuke. Having been ANBU-trained, Sai was not allowed to show feelings, but for some reason, there was just a different level of disdain that he held for the guy. While Naruto - and clearly, Sakura - had forgiven Sasuke for leaving Konoha all those years ago, not many others did. It was why he was always in the shadows, it was why whenever Naruto asked for his help, it was in silence.

Still, he didn't send the Uchiha on the same mission as his wife, because something was nagging at him and telling him that it was impractical. It was Shikamaru's voice, mostly, telling him that separating the two would be more strategic and waste less time. It made sense, and he remembered feeling relief at the revised strategy for looking for _utsuhō_ outposts. He sighed now, looking at Sai.

"What am I supposed to do?" he whispered, shaking his head "I mean, the guy is also from Konoha, and he's investigating things for me without protest, like this whole fucking mess of an S-ranked mission. I mean what the _fuck_, Sai?"

"You care about him," Sai answered, "and obviously, I don't think the reason you keep him around sometimes is merely because of your friendship with him."

Naruto's heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?"

"He's married to your best friend," Sai remarked, his eyes fixated on the water before him, "and we both know his commitment to her is important to you."

"Yeah, because they're _both_ my best friends. They were my teammates."

Sai snorted. "If that's what helps you sleep at night, sure. That can be the answer."

"I don't sleep."

Sai had begun to move to stand up and retreat back into the shadows, he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Naruto, a genuine expression of concern on his face. "What do you mean you don't sleep?"

"Haven't been able to in years."

"Go to a _doctor_, Naruto," Sai urged, "before something terrible happens."

"You make it sound like I'm dying."

"You're not," Sai admitted, "but you will collapse and you will fail to do your dream job properly."

"Yeah," Naruto breathed, "you're right. I should go soon. Just like you should."

"You gonna be here for much longer?" Sai deadpanned.

"No," the Seventh replied, "Hinata is probably waiting for me at home."

Without another word, Sai disappeared back into the trees, rustling slightly as he found a position he could safely watch the village from. Naruto sighed and slowly stood up, giving a short wave at the dock workers who sometimes gave him some fresh fish to take home for dinner. He walked home now, hands and heart empty, but his head filled with migraines he knew would last until he actually tried to sleep.

The nightmares - every single one of them - were horrid. How could anyone sleep well after what he found about this mission that fell into his lap? Human experimentation on people of all ages, even if they didn't have a freaking _kekkei gengkai_. Regular civilians, _shinobis_ with no special abilities weren't even the main targets- they were just _tests_. He thought of his son, his daughter, _Sakura's_ daughter, and a deep fear settled into his veins. Lady Tsunade had thought to keep doing her job, and to investigate herself, but despite her young looks, Naruto knew she was getting tired, and just wanted to sit at home and drink _sake_ all day.

He also knew that Sakura had a tenacity that was needed for the job.

The path to his home passed by hers, and as he walked by the path that led up to her front door, he began to walk slowly, averting his eyes to the only light on in the house. It was on the second floor, and he knew it had to be her bedroom.

Hers _and_ Sasuke's.

He bit his lip and pushed thoughts away from his head, looking to the path ahead of him and taking deep breaths. The nightmares were waiting for his head to hit the pillow, after all; he had to be ready to face them. Details of the mission ran through his head, how there were actual outposts that were harvesting _utsushō_, which no one knew was man-made or not. For the purposes of it, it seemed as though it was created by man, but there were doubts in the Hokage's head-

There's no way a person could _make_ something that cruelly killed innocent people.

He thought of his mother and how she was often in his nightmares, chained in the same way she was when Uchiha Obito tried to extract the Nine-Tails from her. Since he heard about the incidents through Gaara, Kushina appeared in his nightmares frequently, her strangled screams something Naruto had memorized by now. Ice-cold fear filled his veins at the thought of his son or his daughter in the same position, being held against their will as a Tailed Beast was sealed into them. Of course, the _utsushō_ would have significantly weakened them first.

The Hokage shuddered at the thought.

Approaching their front door, he took three deep breaths and opened the door. Before him was the sight of his two children sleeping on the sofa, comfortably and safely nestled on each of Hinata's laps, with the fireplace casting a warm glow upon them. Boruto slept on his back with his mouth open, and Himawari slept on her side, cuddling a stuffed toy he bought for her birthday three years prior. A soft smile graced his lips as he watched his children - the lights of his life - sleep soundly. Cerulean eyes moved up to look at Hinata, who now regarded him with a warm smile. The warmth, he noticed, didn't touch her violet eyes.

"_Okaerinasai_," she whispered.

Naruto smiled back at her. "_Tadaima_."

* * *

Naruto had no idea how he managed to do it, but he carried both Boruto and Himawari in his arms to their beds without either of them stirring awake. He vaguely thought to himself that it was an absolute achievement, but when he heard Hinata's soft chuckle behind him, he was glad he wasn't the only one to think so. He held onto Himawari as Hinata helped to tuck in Boruto, and he planted a kiss on his son's forehead before tucking in his daughter and doing the same. Both he and Hinata tiptoed out of their bedrooms, and breathed a sigh of relief once the doors were closed.

"That seemed almost impossible," Hinata exasperated, "I don't know how they didn't wake up."

"They seemed extra tired," Naruto replied, "were they waiting for me to come home?"

"They wanted to surprise you."

"With what?"

Violet eyes blinked, confused. "Nothing. They just wanted to see you."

"Oh."

Hinata's eyes lost their glimmer as she looked at him, but she still offered him a smile. "It's okay, they'll see you tomorrow morning, right?"

Naruto's thoughts flashed to the fact that Sakura was leaving for Suiren in the morning. He pursed his lips. "Actually, uh…"

"That's fine," Hinata waved her hand in the way she did whenever she tried not to be upset about something, "they can see you after work. For dinner maybe?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "of course."

A smile spread across her lips, and this time, the warmth seemed to touch her eyes just a little. "Do you want me to eat with you? I already had dinner, but there's some leftovers for you."

"If you're tired, you can sleep," Naruto responded as they turned towards the stairs, "I might be up for a while."

"Are you sure? You can talk to me."

"I'm sure. I just have some things to do for work before I head to bed," he lied, "so I don't want to keep you up."

Hinata nodded, keeping her smile intact though Naruto knew she wanted to say something. He would always wait for her to express disdain, but she never did. It was getting tiring - for both of them - to keep up this routine. If she at least yelled at him or got mad at him for not being home enough, he might've actually felt like she gave a shit, which wasn't even fair, because he _knew_ she gave a shit.

He looked at her as she spoke, not hearing a word she said, and remembered a time that every man in Konoha had wanted to marry her and thought she was so incredibly _beautiful_. Who couldn't find the Hyuuga heiress to be so, with her long, dark hair cascading down her back all the way to her waist? With her pastel violet eyes that, despite their appearance, always held kindness and showed her gentle nature? Her soft, papery voice that could make threats sound like poetry made multiple men become infatuated with her.

But she loved the Hokage.

She loved _him_.

But did he love her?

He felt a lump in his throat, knowing that he was asking himself questions he didn't want to answer.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata called his name gently, waving her hand in front of his eyes. "Did you hear what I said?"

"I'm sorry," he blinked, "no. What did you say?"

She let out a soft sigh. "I said that the food is in the microwave, and I've wrapped it with saran wrap. You can just leave the plate in the sink, and I'll do the dishes tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay. Thank you."

"Goodnight," she said, leaning in to kiss him lightly on the cheek before she turned around and walked to their bedroom, her hair swishing behind her.

Naruto sighed as he watched her walk away before turning towards the stairs and slowly making his way down. He crossed the living room where his wife and children sat earlier waiting for him, then into the dining room, and finally into the kitchen where - as promised - a wrapped plate of food waited for him in the microwave. Setting the button for one minute, he moved to the countertop opposite the microwave and watched his food rotate as he aimlessly thought of his wife.

She waited for him every night to come home from work, even though she did nothing during the day except take care of their children. He always felt guilty, always felt as though he wanted her to do more - but she had insisted.

"_I want to raise the kids_," she said after they first got married.

There was nothing wrong with what she wanted, of course. The guilt that he felt deep in his core was related to the fact that she _wanted_ to stay home to raise their children. He couldn't be there as often as she was, and especially with his duty to Konoha, which everyone seemed to understand but it still didn't feel right. Having made a vow to Hinata to always be by her side, none of it felt right. She _should_ be mad, she _should_ be adamant about wanting him at home more, even though he knew the reason she wasn't angry at all. It absolutely made sense that she accepted his late working hours and his lack of being around, but somehow, he knew some part of her felt that it wasn't okay.

He had taken her from her home and from her family's legacy, even though she said she never wanted to be the one to continue it, that she didn't have the _drive_ to continue it herself.

Maybe she was lying to him, or maybe he was lying to himself that it was a good enough reason to not feel guilty about what he'd done to her, and what kind of life he had given her.

The microwave beeped once it reached the one-minute mark, and suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore.

Without even opening the microwave door, he exited the kitchen through the back door, which had a path that led into a greenhouse he had built when they first moved in. He'd always loved gardening, and because he didn't live in a cramped one-person apartment anymore, he could actually create a little haven just for him and the seeds he planted. His long legs made big strides and finally, he opened the door and took in the mixture of scents from the flowers he had planted earlier that winter, and he instantly calmed down.

His eyes swept the array of andromedas, camellias, and the crocus that he'd planted just a few weeks ago with Himawari, and he smiled that they seemed to already be growing well. Walking over to them, he regarded them with admiration and thought that the colors complement each other nicely, especially during the winter. His eyes focused on the andromedas, which had turned out to be pink instead of the white that he thought he bought the seeds for. Unable to move his eyes, he reached out to touch them lightly, seeing a flash of pink in his eyes that reminded him of cherry blossoms in the springtime.

He hoped that winter would soon end, so he could see the cherry blossoms bloom.

* * *

Naruto ended up barely sleeping on the couch, after he had transferred the plate of food from the microwave into the fridge. The migraines were beginning to pound on his temples, and though he was not fully asleep, just closing his eyes seemed to reduce the pain. He stayed that way for a few hours, idly going in and out of sleep, silhouettes of his nightmares dancing behind his eyelids.

If he allowed himself to fall in too deep, he may wake up screaming and inadvertently wake his children.

He was _exhausted_, and could barely move, even when he heard Hinata come down the stairs before sunrise to prepare breakfast for their children. Her footsteps were lithe, but he could still hear her walk towards where he lay, and she let out a sigh before she gently pulled a warm blanket over him and walked away. Opening his eyes slightly, he looked out the window next to the fireplace that was still ablaze and keeping him warm, and he noted to himself that if he was to see Sakura off, he had to begin making a move.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. They felt like they would be permanently bloodshot at this point, but every morning when he checked, they never were.

He never looked as weary as he felt.

Gently pushing the blanket off him, he stood up and stretched, hearing a crack in his back and feeling it in his arms. He took another deep breath and rubbed his eyes again, looking towards the door that led to the kitchen, debating whether he should go and kiss her good morning. Standing there for a few minutes mulling it over, he only decided to just go upstairs and take a shower once he heard the clank of the spatula against the pan. He already knew she was making scrambled eggs for their children, before he could even smell it.

He walked up the stairs and passed by his children's bedrooms, knowing that they were still asleep. Usually, he was the one to wake them up to eat breakfast right before he left for work. They would get up with incredibly messy hair, the same sleepy look on their faces that he had in the morning, and his heart would always fill with so much love at things so simple. Making a note to himself to wait until he could smell Hinata's scrambled eggs, he got into the shower in their bedroom and let the warm water wash over him. He was always quick, and in no time, he was dressed and putting on cologne, his face hardly showing his fatigue at all.

Once he stepped out of the bedroom, the familiar scent of his wife's cooking hit his nose and he smiled, walking to his children's rooms and opening both doors at the same time.

"Wakey wakey!" His raspy voice boomed, jolting Boruto awake, but Himawari barely opened an eye.

"Jeez," Boruto whined, "you're so loud."

"Time for breakfast, then for school."

"Go away," his son muttered, pulling his pillow over his head, "five more minutes."

"I know what your five more minutes are," Naruto laughed, stepping into his room, "and you ain't getting them today."

"Dad," Boruto whined as his dad pulled the pillow off his head, "I want to sleep."

Naruto moved to the end of the bed and lifted the blanket off his son's feet, and wrapped his hands around each of his ankles. Knowing his father's tactics, Boruto held onto the metal railing at the header of his bed as tightly as he could while his father pulled his legs. The metal groaned as Naruto pulled, refusing to let up.

It was like this every morning.

"Stop pulling, Dad!"

"Time to get up!"

"Go away, old man!"

Naruto smirked when he could hear Himawari's pattering feet get out of bed and walk towards her brother's room to see what the fuss was all about. She was in her pajamas that had little pictures of cats all over them, and wore her fuzzy bunny slippers that oddly fit the look. Her eyes were fully open now and she smiled as she walked over to Boruto's bed, standing at his side.

"Himawari, don't you _dare_ poke me," Boruto yelled, "I will _end_ you!"

Ignoring her brother's threat, Himawari giggled and poked him in the side relentlessly until he finally let go of the railing, too ticklish to keep holding on. Naruto guffawed and pulled Himawari close to him, kissing her on the top of her head. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"You're dead," Boruto said angrily, looking at his sister, "I'm eating all your eggs."

"No fair! You wouldn't wake up!"

Boruto, having learned Minato's hiraishin, was already out of the room and in the dining room, where Naruto could hear him laughing. Still, he picked up his daughter in his arms, and transported them as well. Boruto's face at the sight of his father and his sister made him frown, but at least now they were both awake. Himawari sat down across from her brother and jeered at him, but they soon made nice and waited excitedly for their mother's cooking.

Looking out the window, Naruto decided that if he was to see Sakura off, he had to leave now. He quickly kissed Boruto and Himawari on their heads and turned towards the front door.

"Tell Mommy I'll see her later," he yelled as he opened the door.

"Bye, Daddy!" Himawari shouted back.

The Hokage was already out the door, racing to Konoha's front gates where Sakura was waiting.

* * *

Of all the people he lied to about his insomnia, he felt the most guilty at having lied to Sakura.

She was an _iryōnin_, which meant that she was the person who was _most_ qualified to help him get back to sleep properly. Although, to be fair, he wasn't sleeping because of nightmares, and not because of physical conditions that disabled him from being able to sleep. It was all psychological, his fears manifesting themselves into monsters that appeared in his nightmares and hurting those he loved.

Even if it was all fake, he couldn't bear with it.

Plus, he didn't want to stress her out even more than he already had.

Still, talking with her and Kakashi before they left for Suiren had felt nostalgic, and like for a second, things were normal again. He felt more like himself, and it was easy for him to fall back into his usual self with Sakura there. He didn't know what it was, but it was almost as though she reminded him of who he once was.

Before all the fame, before all the politics.

She remembered who he had been.

"_When I come back, you can tell me everything_."

The words had sounded sweeter to him than she probably intended, but there was a softness in her voice that made his heart ache as he listened to her speak in hushed tones like it was supposed to be a secret. He watched her walk away from the gates, and he prayed to whatever higher power there was to keep her and Kakashi safe. The green gates had closed as soon as they stepped out of Konoha and Naruto wondered if she had looked back at him before they did. He could picture her beautiful spearmint eyes and he sighed at the image.

He turned around, his heart still heavy with worry. Cerulean eyes fell upon the Hokage Tower, and he huffed out a harsh breath before using _hiraishin_ to arrive in his office. Documents were untouched and the lights were still off, of course, since Shikamaru hadn't come in yet. Quickly making himself comfortable, Naruto turned on the lights and organized some of the documents he knew he had to look at in a neat pile, separating the mountain of paper in half so he could deal with what was urgent first. Surely, Shikamaru would appreciate it, too. Meant less work for him as well.

As soon as the sun had fully come up, Naruto could _hear_ the Tower fill with his employees.

Multiple people were coming in and out of his office, dropping off and picking up documents, and he swears the last time his hand cramped this much was when he was sixteen years old and lived alone. When the first round of "Hokage Rush Hour" finished, he breathed a big sigh of relief and settled back into his chair, suddenly aware that he was hunching over the entire time. He looked to the door, knowing that Shikamaru would come in at any moment. The rules apparently didn't apply to him where he had to be in by 8AM, not that Naruto cared.

Gave him more time to relax.

Just as that thought entered his mind, the door opened, and there Shikamaru was, his expression as cranky as ever.

"Someone looks pissed," Naruto commented as his advisor shut the door behind him, "fight with Temari?"

"No," Shikamaru retorted, "why would you ever think I would bring my marriage problems into work?"

"So you do have them."

"Not as much as you do."

The Hokage glared at him, but huffed and decided to let it go. "So what's the rest of my day looking like?"

"You have a visit today from the Kazekage."

Naruto looked up from the documents before him and stared at Shikamaru. "What are you talking about? That meeting is not until after Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei come back."

"Lord Kazekage decided he would pay an old friend a visit," Shikamaru answered stoically, "and apparently, this visit has nothing to do with the mission."

The only thing Naruto could do was squint his eyes and furrow his brow in suspicion. "Is he serious?"

When his advisor merely nodded, Naruto sighed.

"I guess it's better than stressing over the mission."

"Over the mission or over someone's safety?"

"I appreciate all the jokes," Naruto responded coolly, "but I'm not sixteen anymore. I'm married now."

"Bold of you to think they're jokes," Shikamaru scoffed, "as if anyone would ever joke about that."

"Look-"

"_Anyway_," Shikamaru quickly retorted, "the Kazekage will be here in an hour. He decided to take the train instead of the usual secret route."

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. "Is there a reason why?"

"Says the whole world knows you and him are friends. No need for secret routes. Public transportation is perfectly fine, and if any enemies were to attack him, they wouldn't. Too many civilians would be involved."

"Since when did the Kazekage decide he's not strong enough to fight off some lowly people who have nothing better to do than to try and attack him?" Naruto laughed.

"He says it's the safety of the people that matters," Shikamaru shrugged, "plus I hear from his inside circle that he really loves the new trains. Says it makes traveling so much easier than it used to be."

The Hokage laughed. "He makes us sound like we're freaking a hundred years old."

His advisor shrugged again. "Need me for anything before you meet him?"

"Just get his favorite tea. He'll keep asking about it until he gets it."

Shikamaru nodded, bowed, and walked out the door. Naruto shifted his attention to the documents before him, though in the back of his mind, he idly wondered if it was true that Gaara decided to come to Konoha just to see an old friend. The more he thought about it, the more it didn't make sense, but it was only particularly so because of what was currently going on in secret regarding a drug that they didn't know much about. Since Sakura was a Konoha resident, she wouldn't be obligated to tell the Kazekage her findings, but since this was supposedly a casual meeting, Naruto wasn't sure if he should share information yet, since this meeting wasn't at his own behest.

He drew in a sharp breath and drew his attention to some approval requests for renovations of old buildings in the central part of Konoha, barely reading through them and only reading what seemed to be important. He signed each of them for the better part of an hour, and before he knew it, a knock came at his door.

"Come in," he said without looking up, his hand still signing documents, "it's open."

There was a pause once the door opened, and Gaara's voice resounded in his ears, making him look up. "It's nice to know that you really suit the role of the Seventh Hokage incredibly well."

"It's been fifteen years," Naruto rolled his eyes, "I could say the same about you and your position."

"Except I was Kazekage for longer," Gaara chuckled, "so I've had more time to grow into it."

Naruto glanced at his outfit, his familiar and simple red garments that he wore all the time, even during the Shinobi War. "But you don't come here with the formalities of wearing your Kage uniform."

"Do you? Every single day?"

"Kind of."

"Well," Gaara cleared his throat as he closed the door behind him, "like I told Shikamaru, this is a visit to an old friend."

Silence hung in the air as Naruto stared at him, unable to read the expression on his face. Gaara's eyes betrayed nothing, but something still felt off. The Hokage leaned back in his chair, entwining his fingers together, pensive.

"_Is_ it really a visit to an old friend?" He whispered. "Right now, it seems like you have some bad news for me."

Gaara had been smirking at him the entire time, but at the Hokage's words, he let it falter. "It is a friendly visit, but unfortunately, I also have some news."

"Why didn't you just push up the meeting we were supposed to have when Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan got back?"

Gaara sat in the seat across from him, neatly crossing his legs and resting his arms on the armrests, his expression serious. He was quiet and didn't say a word, lest for occasionally opening his mouth every now and then as though trying to find the right words that wouldn't cause panic.

"We don't know who's listening," he finally whispered, "so if I announced it was an official diplomatic meeting, there might be those we can't trust."

"Is that why you took the train instead of the usual route?" Naruto asked, his voice just as hushed.

"It also got me here faster."

It seemed that while there was clearly some new information to share, the two men didn't seen to have any motivation to begin the conversation first. Eventually, one of the underlings under Shikamaru came inside with a pot of peppermint tea, setting in on the Hokage's desk and pouring each of them a cup. She bowed, and quickly scurried out the door. They drank in silence, but they never stopped looking at each other, noticing that each Kage's expression was growing more and more concerned.

"You go first, or I go?" Naruto finally said. "Because this is literally killing me."

"We still don't know what it is that makes victims have their veins poisoned, and the condition of their bodies once they've been killed is one that I would rather not see again." Gaara paused, then sighed. "Internally, everyone is freaking out because we don't know anything, but one of our researchers said that utushō is not a man-made invention."

"Meaning it's native to a land?"

"Yes. It's an herb, that when mixed with some chemical and compounds, becomes useful in controlling people and can hold something with great chakra together."

"That could be a _Jinchuuriki_ or anyone with a _kekkei gengkai_."

"Exactly. You, me, and anyone else who is a Jinchuuriki wouldn't be the targets, but Naruto, your children-"

"I know."

Gaara was silent for a moment. "There was another incident in Suna. A girl with a _kekkei gengkai_ was abducted a few weeks back, Sasuke-san was probably looking for her when you sent him there. Internal reports say that she was force fed crystals-"

"I'm sorry, what?" Naruto asked incredulously. "_Crystal_? Are you _fucking_ with me?"

Gaara's eyes seemed to have lost the usual kindness that he held, and he watched Naruto's face as he began his next sentence. "She's the first one to not have died from the procedure."

Naruto felt his veins grow cold.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she didn't die because the crystal was too much for her, but it also means that she is too valuable for these people to let her return to her normal life. They're going to use her."

"To do what? Attack more people? Start _another_ fucking war?"

"It's hard to say what is going to happen," Gaara said softly, "but we have people in Suna looking for as we speak, but I thought that I would share this information with you, that the experimentation does unfortunately, work. It just has to be someone with a _kekkei gengkai._"

Naruto let out a sharp breath.

"Something about this information irritating you, Lord Hokage?"

"Just fucking call me Naruto, Gaara. This isn't the time for formalities."

"Fine," Gaara sighed, "do you have any information for me since you put Sakura-san on the case?"

"I take it she hasn't told you anything."

"No."

Naruto took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. He thought back to the conversations he had with Sakura, the nightmares he suffered of his mother being chained against her will, his insomnia, the fact that he had to worry even more about his children and his wife. He rubbed his temples, then clapped either side of his face.

"Sakura-chan has told me a few things since she did an autopsy on a body that was left near our border."

Gaara's eyes widened. "They _left a body_ on the border?"

"Probably as a way to scare us or threaten us into not finding them."

"Did you know her?"

"She was a young girl who often came into Konoha to sell treats at the markets."

Gaara nodded, his expression revealing that was merely trying to process the situation as it was right now.

"And what else?"

"Sakura-chan thinks that there's a port town near where my mother was from, and thinks that it's possible that the outposts throughout each country are getting their supplies from there."

"Near where your mother was from?"

"Uzushiogakure."

Gaara's eyes widened. "The village that was destroyed during the Second Shinobi War? Why would she ever think that?"

"She does her research," Naruto sighed, "but I told her to start small. Going there is dangerous, especially because it's a port town for criminals and people like that. I wouldn't want her going alone just for some recon."

"So you sent her where?"

"Kiri," Naruto replied, "got some intel that there's an active outpost there, and they're selling their shit to people in Suiren. Probably trying to test who has a _kekkei gengkai_ without actually knowing." Naruto frowned. "They're involving a lot of civilians, and putting them in danger."

"Is Chōjūrō aware that you sent them there?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "we drafted a letter and sent it out a while ago. I didn't have the details of who would be going then, but he replied and said that his ANBU would figure it out once our people got to Suiren."

"Good thing you sent Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-san, then."

They stayed quiet for a few minutes, silently sipping tea as they were lost in their own thoughts. Naruto had been aware that there were other incidents in which people were being tested, but the fact that there was someone who _survived_ the torture - the _ingestion_ of these poisonous crystals - was making him on edge to the point that he felt that _he_ had to do something in that exact moment. Would Sakura and Kakashi-sensei be able to find enough information to take home, or would it lead them somewhere else? Naruto thought once again to his children and to his wife, knowing that it was his job to protect them. Still, he couldn't say anything until they had more information. He sighed in frustration.

"You know," Naruto said quietly, "Sakura-chan told me that it's not just _utsushō_ that's the problem."

Gaara cocked an eyebrow. "Then what's the other problem?"

"We did an autopsy of the girl found at our border," the Hokage said slowly, "and upon closer inspection on her veins, it wasn't only the substance that was inside her veins, poking at them like sharp bristles."

"So what was it?" Gaara asked quietly, almost afraid that if his voice got louder, someone would be listening.

"When they ingest this thing, they're sealing the drug to their veins, and it takes their body over."

"When you say sealing…"

Naruto nodded, his expression filled with a sadness he hardly showed. "I mean _fūinjutsu_. The Uzumakis' specialty."

The Kazekage fell silent, unable to muster the right words that might make ease Naruto's nerves, not that he expected him to. The mission itself was hard as it already was, but with old traditions out the door, Naruto was allowed to be worried, was allowed to feel just a little bit of fear at the prospect that whoever was heinous enough to conduct human experimentation was using his family's secrets to do so. They had to be someone who actually was one of remaining Uzumaki left, or someone who was close to the Uzumaki clan there. When Naruto didn't hear Gaara say anything for a while, he looked at him.

Gaara had been giving him a sympathetic smile.

"It'll all work out," Gaara said encouragingly, "it always does. Just like how you got this job. It was meant to happen, and you will also have a part in making sure no person with a _kekkei gengkai_ will be subject to the torture of ingesting poison just so a Tailed Beast can be sealed into them."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Naruto admitted, "I know we'll all be okay."

"So what is it?"

Naruto hesitated, vaguely wondering if Sakura would yell at him if she knew he was saying this out loud.

"I want to see it. Where my mom came from. Maybe there are some clues there." Naruto had said the words in a rush, hoping Gaara would just ignore the flurry of words, but instead, the Kazekage nodded and offered him a smile.

"I think Sakura-san would appreciate going with you."

"If she doesn't yell at me first for not taking her suggestion from the start," Naruto laughed.

"Even if she did," Gaara advised him, "in the end, she would still go with you. The both of you have always been that way."

The Hokage didn't say a word once that thought flew out of his friend's mouth, and he was left to wonder if he should have just listened to Sakura in the first place. Information was always important to obtain, but maybe once they decided it was enough to _really_ begin investigating, maybe he could actually go with her while a clone managed things back here. He wanted to smile at the thought - it would feel like old times again, like he was his usual self again.

But he could picture his own wife smiling bitterly as she uttered the words he hated hearing.

It was a lot to consider. The Hokage sighed, and just then, Gaara stood up as though to leave.

"You really just came here for a chat?"

"Yeah," Gaara nodded, "thought it had been a while, you know?"

Naruto pursed his lips. "How do you feel about drinking some _sake_?

"What's the occasion?"

_I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to talk to anyone else for the rest of the day_, he thought to himself.

"There's supposed to be some fireworks tonight we can see from here, but they're actually being set off in Suiren."

"That's kinda far from here, no? Can we really see them?"

Naruto smirked. "I see them every year."

"With Hinata?"

The Hokage winced. "From my office."

Gaara's shoulders sank at the wistfulness he heard in his friend's voice, and gave him a smile. "Sure, I'd love to stay. When does it start anyway?"

"Later in the evening. You mind drinking the whole day?"

The Kazekage scoffed. "I may not look like it, but I can handle my liquor enough that I can drink a whole day."

"Bottoms up then, bitch," Naruto laughed, turning behind him to pull out the whiskey and two glasses.

The two Kages transitioned from talking of pressing issues, and eventually began catching each other up on what was going on in their lives. Gaara was not yet married, but there was a line of suitors for him that he did not know how to choose from. Naruto told him of the routine with the kids, and how much he missed them since he was away so much. They laughed, spoke of their troubles, and kept drinking uninterrupted until the sun began to go down. It was only when the clock struck midnight that Naruto looked out the window behind his desk, and saw the first few fireworks in the sky. He smiled, thinking of Sakura near there, and hoping that she saw them much clearer than he did.

"Hey Gaara?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks for coming today," he whispered, "you're a good friend."

Gaara didn't say a word, but if kindness was a sound Naruto could hear, he could definitely hear it in the way he shifted in his seat to look out the window at the fireworks.

"You wishing you could see it with someone special?"

"My wife? We do this during the summer."

"But not the winter?"

"Winters are usually busy."

"What about Sakura-san?"

Naruto blinked, looking at him. "What do you mean?"

"You don't think about watching these fireworks with her during the winter, since you both have a lot of work around this time?"

"No," Naruto frowned, "that feels like it's crossing some kind of very dangerous territory."

Gaara shrugged. "Not if you know you're just old friends."

Taking his words into consideration, Naruto looked out the window again and listened to the fireworks, wondering if she would even want to see fireworks for a festival with him. Maybe it would just be for them in the winter, when they both have a lot of work? Cerulean eyes watched the gorgeous splash of colors in the sky and the cheering of the people of Konoha below, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the display. Sakura and Kakashi-sensei were probably about to make their way to Kiri, and he drew in a breath.

Behind beautiful lit up skies that felt like his heart when he was around her, there was a darkness there, too. Something unfamiliar that he did not dare to touch, and not because he was afraid of the darkness itself. Of the unknown, of the secrets he knew he was keeping. The problem was allowing light to seep into that darkness he kept inside himself.

What if allowing Sakura in forced him to realize he still loved her?

Not that he didn't already.

As he watched the fireworks spark up in the sky, he thought of spearmint eyes and spring, the light green glow of her hands as she mended people's wounds and made them whole again. He thought of the fact that she avoided him for fifteen years - and maybe it was because she might have been happy with Sasuke, or happy raising his child - but the last fifteen years were hard on him _because_ he never saw her face.

As the last of the fireworks lit up in the sky, he prayed on them that maybe, he would stop loving her, and for her to be happy with Sasuke.

It was all he could do to keep his heart from continuously breaking every time he saw her face and heard her voice, knowing that even the smallest parts of his being were yearning for her.

For many years, every part of him did.

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	11. Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Sakura are in the thick of Kirigakure, and are given advice by an old friend on how to gain some intel. Sakura battles with herself between what is right and wrong, and whether the two ever converge into a blurred line.

There was no sound at first when the door creaked open. A man sat alone in the middle of the room, his back facing both Sakura and Kakashi, and he stared out at the open windows before him. The silver-haired man walked in first, his expression warning her to keep her guard up. Stepping inside the frame, they stood on either side of the door, Sakura closing it behind them, her guard so high up she could feel the fine hairs on her arms stand on end. Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Shin-san," he said in a low voice, "I apologize for being late."

"I don't normally take last-minute meetings," the man said slowly, his voice mildly bored, "but you _want_ to have a hand at dealing _utsushō_?"

"We know the addictive properties of the substance," Kakashi said coolly, "and the more addictive something is, the more people are willing to pay for it. I hear you're the man around Suiren that knows that fact the best."

"I do."

"My partner and I think we might wanna have a part in that."

At Kakashi's words, Shin rose from his chair, taking what felt like years for him to turn around to look at them. Sakura felt her breath catch in her throat at his icy cold blue eyes - too light for them to actually be useful for him. He had a gash across his cheek that was certainly not recent, but it wasn't old enough to be a simply faded scar. Sakura examined it, thinking of a vague timestamp of the wound - definitely one that occurred just a few days ago. She watched him move, feeling uneasy as the lightness of his eyes until it dawned on her that he was barely able to see.

"Your partner? A woman?" Shin said as he turned to look at Sakura, his tone slightly entertained.

"Yes," Kakashi answered simply, "we've been in business for a long time and wanted to expand."

"So you chose to do _utsushō_ with a woman?" Shin scoffed. "I don't know if she can handle it. Women can't handle watching civilians go through the symptoms. They're too sympathetic, don't got the stomachs for it."

Sakura quietly took a few deep breaths, her mind flashing back to the autopsy of the young girl found at the Konoha herself together, she put on her brightest smile - though Shin would not be able to see it, he would be able to hear it - and decided to speak up. "_Utsushō_ is a valuable product that can definitely go far, and we hear that Kirigakure is where it started."

"So what do you need me for?"

"We don't want anyone being able to track where we're going, do we?" Sakura said sweetly. "Especially with that long queue of people, those of us who wanna engage in business can't be on borrowed time."

"She's right," Kakashi chimed in, "we have to get to Kirigakure before dawn, and the lines are extremely long. We also don't wanna leave a trail for people to follow us."

"So you're asking for passage without ID check?" Shin asked, facing Sakura,

"It's just for us fellow dealers and business partners, like mine and I here" the _kunoichi_ replied sweetly, her voice lilted.

Shin smiled, revealing a set of teeth that was filled with tar. Must be from smoking illegal substances, Sakura thought to herself while keeping her composure. "Going to HQ is a big deal," Shin remarked as he took a few steps closer to them, "y'all sure you're not trying to do something funny?"

"Like what?" Kakashi said casually."

"Shut down the operation maybe?"

Kakashi and Sakura chuckled at the same time - thankfully. "Hardly our intention. Like I said, my lovely business partner and I are simply wanting to engage in the _utsushō_ business."

Shin stared at the two of them through what little vision he seemed to have left, mulling over his decision as he looked between them. He let out a huff, but seemed to believe Kakashi and Sakura. "I'll signal my guards to let you two pass through without ID check, but once you're in Kiri, you should be careful."

"What's going on there?"

"The Mizukage has been keeping a pretty tight ship in busting us and putting our asses in prison. Y'all have to be careful when you get there."

Deep down inside of her, Sakura sighed in relief.

"We appreciate the information," Kakashi said, "thank you."

They watched as Shin sent off a hawk with a note attached to its leg, presumably headed towards the docks. After a few seconds, the man turned to look at them again, his expression unreadable. He took a few steps forward, and eyed Sakura up and down, as though looking for something. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Thanks for doing business with us," Kakashi commented, "we really appreciate it."

Sakura bowed slightly and turned to walk out the door, keeping sure to have Kakashi behind her. She listened closely to what he said to her _sensei_ \- because maybe for whatever reason, Shin didn't trust her. Waiting outside the door, she listened closely.

"That's your business partner, eh?" Shin asked Kakashi, his tone different than before. "Pale skin, fit frame?"

"Yes," Kakashi answered cautiously, "we work well together."

"I hope you are," Shin replied, his tone now devious, "I bet you're fucking her brains out too, huh?"

Although she was only supposed to be listening, Sakura whirled around and was about to go past the doors to give Shin what he deserved - but Kakashi was a few steps ahead of her and the man was already on the ground, unconscious. Sakura let out a sharp breath placed her hands on either side of her hips. Glancing at her _sensei_, she suddenly felt more gratitude that he was there with her.

"Thanks, Kakashi-_sensei_," she whispered, "I really appreciate it."

"Anyone who talks about women like that is scum." Kakashi answered, the sentiment very clearly something that bothered him. He glanced at his student, his expression irritated. "Especially you. _No one_ talks about my students that way."

The pair walked by the receptionist's desk as they left the inn, and she merely bowed at them before they headed out. Sakura vaguely wondered if she was also someone whose life was being threatened by Shin, and was perhaps silently thanking them - or more specifically Kakashi - for giving him a knockout that he deserved. They hurried their way out of the inn, which was still surrounded by the unconscious guards that Kakashi had put under a _genjutsu_. Sakura giggled as she remembered the days when she and her teammates thought that he was _the_ coolest _sensei_ for executing beating people up so easily. Her nostalgic streak came to a halt as they approached the crowds of Suiren, Kakashi squeezing through people right in front of her, to get to the knew that on the other side of the harbor, there were hopefully some answers to the questions that had been wracking her brain the entire time that this mission was assigned to her.

Trying to make their way through the bustling crowds, strangers' backs and shoulders continuously bumped against Sakura, and she became increasingly irritated every time they didn't apologize. Keeping her sights on Kakashi, she tried to focus on the silver hair instead of how she was bumping left and right. It was only when she was shoved to the side that she felt her patience wear thin.

"Hey _dumbass_," she hollered, "if you're gonna shove-"

The man who had shoved her turned to look at her, his expression surprised. Apparently people in Suiren weren't aware of their surroundings during the Oniyo festival. Sakura let out a sharp breath and waved her hand as though to say 'nevermind'. As she kept walking, a loud voice at the docks boomed, and the crowd went from shouting over each other to murmuring to each other.

"Those of you who are traveling to Kiri for business purposes, line up on the left! Everyone else, to the right!"

A groan was heard from the crowd, and vague words of protest resounded around Sakura. She watched their faces and figured they were probably people who needed to get to Kirigakure to visit family or to get to work before dawn. Making her way to the left side of the docks, she saw that there was still a large number of people who were supposedly business merchants who were most likely in business with Shin. She glanced at Kakashi who was looking out onto the harbor, his expression unreadable.

"Sorry, Miss," the man whose voice boomed earlier, "this line is for merchants only."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Women can't be merchants?"

"They can," he laughed, the sound making her cringe with disgust, "but no woman so beautiful as ya would ever line herself up with this business. Only women who have nowhere else to go would do this."

Spearmint eyes looked him over, noting his pudgy beer-belly, the shirt that he probably hadn't changed out of in weeks, his unshaven and unkempt beard, and the same tar-filled teeth that Shin had. He didn't have any scars, but he _was_ apparently missing an eye, as he wore an eyepatch. He most likely didn't get a lot of action, working for Shin at the docks, but Sakura couldn't bring herself to charm the man the way Lady Tsunade would have, back in the day. Guilt crept up on her as she watched Kakashi swagger over to where she stood, clearly about to help her out.

_When am I going to get completely used to being on missions again?_

"She's with me," Kakashi said plainly, "she's my business partner."

The man glanced at Kakashi, then turned one eye back at Sakura. He scratched his chin.

"Ah," he said in a low voice after a few moments, "you're the ones Shin's allowing passage to."

"That's right."

He looked once more at Sakura. "Brave of ya to be in the _utsushō_ business."

"Just like anyone else," Sakura said flatly, "I need money."

The man nodded, surely relating to the sentiment. Gesturing to the queue behind him, he let her pass through without another word. She let out a small sigh as she and Kakashi walked together, and she glanced at him in the hopes that he would understand that she was apologizing.

"Don't worry about it," Kakashi said quietly, "you'll get back into the hang of things."

"I better," she said plainly, "otherwise there's no point in sending me here."

"He knows what he's doing," the older man replied coolly, "just believe in him like he believes in you."

At those words, Sakura suddenly found herself speechless. Spearmint eyes stayed locked on the sight before her, as groups of men and women stepped onto boats and rowed off. The queue was moving swiftly and she glanced behind them to see how many people were left, only to acknowledge that she and Kakashi were at the end of the line. As they approached the front of the line, they were stopped once again by the man who had stopped Sakura earlier. She clenched her jaw, her guard immediately going up.

"Since Shin specifically asked us to let ya through, we're gettin' yous a smaller boat." He paused, then smiled, showing his dirty teeth again. "Special guests, after all."

Sakura thought back to the body that lay unconscious at the inn, hoping that he didn't regain consciousness in time to let his lackeys no that the silver-haired man and the pink-haired woman weren't allowed through. Quietly, she took a deep breath and watched the man signal to a few other men to bring a smaller boat to the docks. They rowed it over and stepped onto the docks, gesturing for Kakashi and Sakura to step in. Not once did Sakura's heartbeat stop palpitating, and not once did her panic concede, even as she stepped in to sit across from her _sensei_.

"We rowing ourselves?" Kakashi asked the man standing at the docks. "Thought we were special guests."

"We don't have enough manpower," the man answered, "plus, it's too small a boat. Yous gonna have to row it yourselves."

"You trust that to us to do that alone?" Sakura asked, almost amused at how easily he took Shin's words and had no sense of suspicion whatsoever.

"Shin's given his okay. I don't see any reason why I should send someone with ya."

At his own words, he saluted and, without any more questions, Kakashi began rowing the boat away from the docks. It took a good ten minutes for the harbor to only be a speck in her line of vision, and when she was absolutely one hundred percent sure that there was no threat around them, she looked at Kakashi.

"Do you want me to row? You haven't been on missions for a while either."

"I want to row."

"You're not as strong as you used to be."

"I'm _plenty_ strong, thank you very much."

"Kakashi-sensei-"

"Just enjoy the waters, would you? Let your _sensei_ row you across the waters."

Spearmint eyes rolled and Sakura reminded herself that Kakashi only became this way after Naruto became Hokage. Sasuke had apologized to him at the time, feeling some kind of remorse that he had betrayed his teacher. From the very beginning, he had always given off an air about him that he _expected_ you to take care of yourself, but eventually, as the three of them learned, it was just a front. He cared deeply about his students, and although they stopped being children a long time ago, some part of him would always see them that way. The thought made Sakura feel a deep sadness, but she turned her head to look at the water instead of at Kakashi's face.

A lot of things had changed, but at the very least, their mentor stayed the same.

Eventually, Sakura noticed that Kakashi was rowing a lot slower than he was before. Her eyes turned to look at him, worried that he had pushed himself too much already. When she looked at his face, he was merely smiling. They were dab-smack in the middle of the waters, and he was _smiling_.

"Is this the part where I find out what you've been doing for the last fifteen years? Because that smile is _creepy_."

"I'm creepy when I don't smile, and I'm creepy when I do. You guys just don't change."

"Your fault for not being warmer more often."

"I am now though, aren't I?" He chuckled.

Sakura's face softened. "Yes, you are."

Kakashi looked at the dark skies above them, and Sakura followed suit. They were silent for a few moments, not daring to break the silence that felt so serene. Spearmint eyes searched the stars until she heard the crackling of what sounded like thunder, then she watched bright colors fill the sky in various shapes. Though they were far from the docks, she could still hear the cheering and the music from the drums that celebrated the Oniyo festival. The fireworks were only delayed by a few minutes, and partially due to Kakashi knocking out Shin back at the inn, but none of that mattered as Sakura glued her eyes to the sky.

"Lady Tsunade once told me you can see these fireworks from the Hokage Tower," she said idly, "because the fireworks were so big and extraordinary."

"She's right," Kakashi murmured, "it was always a special sight to see."

She pictured Sasuke, somewhere that Naruto sent him off to, looking up at the same sky. A blonde man clad in his white Hokage cloak, standing at his window, potentially watching the very same fireworks she and Kakashi were watching right now. Tears filled her eyes at the image of the other two important men in her life being so far away from her. She could only _hope_ they were looking up as well, and thinking of her and Kakashi.

Love was rarely simple for her, but somehow, the heavens that lit with bright colors cleansed her heart, and all she wanted in that moment was for the four of them to be together again, staring up and sleeping under the same sky.

* * *

Despite his many protests - mainly through grunting and sighing - Sakura finally managed to coax Kakashi into letting her row them the rest of the way to Kirigakure. It was still dark out, but on the horizons, she could see that daybreak would soon come.

Kakashi sat across from her, always keeping one eye open as he watched her. She didn't know if he kept one eye open because he was saving energy for potentially having to use the Sharingan later, or if he was exhausted but was too worried to actually fall asleep. Clearing her throat, she decided to test her theory.

"You can sleep, you know," she said quietly, "I'm just rowing a boat."

"All the way to Kirigakure," he responded, "and without an extra pair of oars, we can't get there faster."

"Blaming me?" Sakura chuckled.

"No," he shook his head, "just making sure to stay alert in case you wanna swap."

"You've been staying alert for the better part of an hour," Sakura groaned, "I think you can rest. Everything will be fine." She pursed her lips at the thought of their mission, and what they were going to Kirigakure for in the first place. "You have to stay sharp for later."

"We're seeing Chōjūrō-kun first."

"Even then," the kunoichi sighed, "we won't be getting a full day's rest. We're seeing him to get a feel for the operations in Kiri."

The silver-haired man stared at her with his darker eye, his expression unreadable. He opened his other eye then, revealing the bright red eye that Sakura had grown familiar with as she was growing up. She sighed again, the sound weary and slightly annoyed.

"You don't have to try and predict what face I'm going to make. I'm fine. Get some rest."

"Fine," he said finally, "but you're missing out on some great company while you row."

"You getting enough rest first is good enough for me, Kakashi-sensei."

Without saying another word, Kakashi turned to his side and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep. It was peacefully quiet for the first half hour, but when Sakura began to hear Kakashi snoring softly, she felt herself begin to lull to sleep. Stifling a yawn, she looked around them to gage how close they were to the gates of Kiri, and was relieved to find that they actually were almost there. Glancing at Kakashi, she felt relieved that he would at least have gotten _some_ rest, compared to rowing the whole way from Suiren.

Worried that she would lull to sleep before they got to the docks, Sakura gently focused chakra into her hands as she rowed the boat. A small breeze blew through her short hair, the smell of the lake calming nerves she didn't know were so frayed. They eventually came upon gates that, when she was younger, were so threateningly unwelcome. Now, Kiri _nin_ who were a generation younger watched them, their expressions cautious, but never hostile in the same way the old Kirigakure was.

Sakura rowed them gently to the docks where she made a note of the people that were getting off. They were mostly the same people from Suiren who came to Kirigakure to either visit family, or because they had jobs in the Water Country's capital. The dock workers' voices resounded in her ears as they pulled their boat in, tying it to the dock with rope. The _kunoichi_ was surprised when she turned to her sensei to see that he was already awake, despite how deep in sleep he was he seemed just half an hour ago. Kakashi placed one foot on the dock before hoisting himself up, then waited for Sakura to follow suit.

The waters were still a little unstable for their boat, but she still hoisted herself up and they walked towards a queue of people. Reaching into the satchel that she carried on her back, she pulled out a few documents that Naruto had prepared her with before she left.

_To avoid suspicion_, he had told her.

She quickly flipped through the pages, and surely enough alongside her photo were her details. Her _fake_ details. She smirked as she thought of Naruto planning it this way, knowing that despite good relations with Kirigakure, they still wanted to stay as low-profile as possible. She glanced at the name and had to wonder if it was Naruto who chose it, or if his advisor was tasked with these things that were so troublesome. Spearmint eyes glanced over at Kakashi's documents, and the same thing had been done. He gave her a meaningful look before folding the documents neatly back into his bag.

"You know the reason for these fake identities, right?"

"To avoid suspicion," Sakura murmured, "especially at the immigration queue. We don't want them to know who we really are."

Kakashi nodded. "A lot of these people have only heard of our names, but have never seen our actual faces." He chuckled. "Gotta hand it to the Lord Seventh. He never used to give a shit about this kinda thing, and would just charge in heard-first."

Sakura laughed. "Who would've thought we'd see the day _he'd_ be preparing documents for _us_?"

"_Maa_," Kakashi sighed, "I guess that's what fifteen years in the job does to you, eh?"

The pink-haired woman let out a soft chuckle, but Kakashi was right. Naruto had been in office for the last fifteen years, so why was she so surprised that he provided fake documents for them? It was his job as leader of the Village to protect his people, It was a long period of time for him to get used to the job, so naturally, by now, everything he could do was quite literally at the tips of his fingers. Sakura sighed as they approached the front of the queue.

"ID?" The immigration worker asked flatly.

Sakura didn't say a word as she handed her documents.

"You in Kiri for business or pleasure?"

"Pleasure," Sakura smiled sweetly, "just a little vacation."

The agent looked over the documents carefully before he was finally satisfied and gave her a visitor's pass stamp on her documents. As she walked forward, the man called out to her "Have a lovely stay at Kirigakure, Miss!"

Kakashi waited for her just a few meters ahead and Sakura raised an eyebrow as she approached him. "How are you always done with this stuff before me?"

"They didn't look at my documents real hard," Kakashi shrugged, "like your officer was there. Probably was committing your name to memory."

"Or checking the authenticity of the documents." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"That, too." Kakashi smirked.

Sakura kept her eyes peeled for the merchants that traveled before them, only to find that they were disguising themselves as tourists and merchants who sold herbal goods. They stood patiently in the immigration queue, willingly opening their sacks that only revealed herbs and medicines. The _kunoichi_ reeled at the thought that some merchants were hiding _utsushō_ at the bottom of their sacks, knowing fully well that immigration officers wouldn't dig so far down.

_Something to bring up to Chōjūrō_, she thought to herself idly.

Averting her eyes to their surroundings, she watched the people who weren't classified as merchants as they made their way through the crowd, glancing every now and then at the group of people whose bags were being checked. Civilians that weren't involved in the operation of smuggling _utsushō_ were clearly aware of the drug circulation, even when it came as far as the immigration checkpoint at Kirigakure. Spearmint eyes scanned the people working once more, trying to see if she could figure out who the traitor was.

"I know what you're thinking," Kakashi said quietly when he leaned in, "but we can't show what we know yet."

"I know that."

"We've already been cleared," he reminded her as he pretended to fix his jacket, "so for now, we keep moving. We deal with all that later."

He was right. He was _absolutely_ right. Sakura drew in a small breath and expelled it slowly, walking alongside her _sensei_ as they crossed the border, finally, into Kirigakure.

Not a lot had changed in the last fifteen years, save for infrastructure that provided public transport for the people. Motors and vehicles were deafening, but there seemed to be more smiling faces than back in the day, which was thanks to both Terumi Mei and Chōjūrō's efforts to eradicate the country of the Fourth Mizukage's totalitarian reign. The scars were healed, but only the ones that the people of Kirigakure _wanted_ to be healed. There were signboards that pointed in different directions for tourists who wanted to understand the history of one of the most formidable nations, consisting mostly of museums and landmarks that were once known for great battles.

One of the signboards, Sakura realized, was pointing to the very landmark that she and her teammates had fought a battle on a long, _long_ time ago. She frowned as she read the "Naruto Bridge" signboard, knowing that that mission had caused the three of them nothing but pain. Forcing herself to look away, she caught Kakashi looking at her, his expression somewhat concerned.

"They still have the bridge," she said quietly, "I was just surprised."

"That was the first time any of you had experienced the prowess of a Swordsman of the Mist." Her _sensei_ responded somberly.

"We were just kids," Sakura's voice trembled slightly, "and we watched two people die."

Kakashi didn't say anything for a time, seemingly at a loss for what to say. Maybe that was better than saying anything at all, because Sakura knew that he had _been_ there with them. She gave him a look as he patted her shoulder in reassurance, and she nodded before they decided to keep moving towards where Chōjūrō waited for them.

* * *

Sakura had expected Naruto to have already laid down the groundwork, so it was no surprise that she and Kakashi didn't meet Chōjūrō at his office, where there were a ton of witnesses - some of who might recognize Sakura _or_ Kakashi. Even _if_ they thought this visit had nothing to do with an S-ranked mission, neither Konoha or Kirigakure wanted the risk of a traitor to find out what Sakura and Kakashi were _really_ doing here.

Instead, the two Konoha _shinobi_ took a short trek through the woods, searching for a lookout location near one of the outposts. It was entirely risky, but it was what had been decided. They walked on steep land and made their way through difficult terrain and if Sakura was being completely honest with herself, she was finally starting to feel that, like Naruto and Kakashi had been telling her all along, she would be able to complete this entire mission with the best of her abilities.

Eventually, they reached a campsite in which they were supposed to meet the Mizukage, filled with a few Kiri _nin_ who swiftly bowed to them and greeted them. Sakura walked through the camp ahead of Kakashi - mostly at his insistence - and smiled politely at the men who stared at her with awe in their eyes.

"Think they know who I am?" she whispered to her _sensei_ behind her.

Kakashi scoffed. "If they're in this line of work and specifically working for _this_ mission, they'd be crazy not to."

She ignored the sarcasm in his voice and kept walking, bowing slightly whenever she was bowed to. Naturally, Sakura wasn't accustomed to being treated this way - but maybe Kakashi was at some point while he was the Sixth Hokage. Unofficially, she was guided to a tent that was larger than the others in the campsite, and when they came closer, she spotted the familiar, soothing blue of the Mizukage's cloak and hat.

Chōjūrō looked up then, the corners of his eyes creasing as he smiled wide at the two of them.

Certainly, the shy boy had changed a lot since taking up this position.

"Kakashi-dono! Sakura-dono!" He said jubilantly. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"We apologize for being late, Lord Mizukage," Kakashi bowed, "and if there are any delays in the operation, that would be on us."

The Mizukage swatted his hand as if to say 'no big deal' and invited both of them inside his tent. Sakura nodded towards the two guards that stood outside the tent with bows and arrows in their hands, and they acknowledged her by bowing their heads slightly before going back to standing straight and on-guard.

Pushing her way through the tent, Sakura found that it was a lot bigger than it appeared on the outside. In one corner, there was a desk filled with documents that Chōjūrō had neatly stacked. There was only one photo frame facing outwards, and Sakura smiled when she laid her eyes upon a smiling Mei hugging her then-pupil Chōjūrō. In front of the desk were two chairs, ready for Sakura and Kakashi to prop themselves on. The Mizukage sat in his seat, one that he had been nervous about sitting in when he was first appointed, and gave them a shy smile.

"Please," he said kindly and gestured towards the two chairs, "have a seat."

Kakashi sat first, his back pressed against the back of the chair and one arm resting on the arm rest. He touched his face with the other hand before leaning his elbow on the other armrest, pressing his knuckles to his cheek. Sakura gently cleared her throat, bowed slightly, and sat down next to him, crossing and uncrossing her legs and leaning her weight towards one arm rest and lacing her fingers together. She felt a sudden burst of anxiety, not sure of how to sit properly, or even what to do with her legs. She finally settled for uncrossing them and placing her hands in her lap as the Mizukage looked through documents the entire time.

"It's been a while since I've seen you both," he said politely, "how have you two been?"

"We've been good, Lord Mizukage," Kakashi answered, "the war has brought a lot of change for all of us."

"Indeed it has," the blue-haired man nodded, "and as you've seen, Kirigakure is trying to change with the times." He paused then and winced slightly. "Especially because we've been trying for so long to have things go back to before the age of the Fourth Mizukage."

Sakura merely nodded and felt surprise when he turned to look at her.

"What about you, Sakura-dono?" he asked. "The last I heard of you, you had just had a daughter."

"I apologize for not keeping in contact more," Sakura replied guiltily, "but yes, she's fourteen years old now."

"Has it really been that long?" the man exclaimed. "We've all gotten quite old, haven't we."

Kakashi cleared his throat then, but the Mizukage merely chuckled. He gave his advisor - who stood on the opposite end of the tent - a look and a nod, and the man left the tent so that it was just the three of them.

"Are you in here everyday, Chōjūrō-kun?" Kakashi asked, dropping the formalities.

The Mizukage shook his head. "They keep the tent here for when I have to come, but most days it's just the ones who have been assigned to this mission."

"How often do you check up on things?" Sakura asked. "It seems like it's a pretty well-run camp."

"I come in three times a week," he replied earnestly as he leaned back in his chair, "or whenever it is necessary. With S-ranked missions - as you know - things can change at a quick pace." He took a deep breath then, his expression suddenly tense. "It's my duty to know how to protect my people in times like those."

Both Kakashi and Sakura nodded then, understanding his words on very different levels. Sakura thought back to the intel that was being shared when the war first started, and how just the arrival of a body at the hospital's doorstep had changed the nature of the mission she was on now. She let out a small sigh then and watched the Mizukage carefully. He was a different man than when she first knew him as a teenager, and she was really quite impressed with how he grew into his role as a leader.

"How's the situation in Konoha as of right now?" Chōjūrō asked as he poured three cups of what smelled like jasmine tea.

"We've been able to do our research without word getting out so much," Sakura responded, "but the stuff that we are finding aren't exactly bits of information that we want to share just quite yet."

"How do you mean?"

"As of right now, I know that _utushō_ is used for locking and sealing external sources into the victim's veins."

The Mizukage's eyes widened in horror. "How did you figure that out?"

"My apprentice and I had to do an autopsy on a girl whose body was dropped near the Konoha border."

The tent fell silent for a few minutes as Sakura watched the Mizukage's face twist into an expression of horror and rage. He shifted in his seat, as though the new information triggered a restlessness he couldn't shake off. His gaze shifted between Kakashi - who nodded and confirmed the information was accurate - and Sakura - who could merely look at him with a somber look. She was the one who led the autopsy, after all. The person who saw what _utsushō_ did firsthand was her and Yuzuru.

"With all due respect, Lord Mizukage," Sakura began, "what's been the situation in Kirigakure? Since this is a mission that seems to endanger all nations, we also would need to know what's going on here."

Chōjūrō nodded slowly, then straightened his back. "As I'm sure you've been informed, there are a number of outposts in Kirigakure that are managing operations for this part of the continent."

Sakura blinked. "What?"

"Meaning there are more elsewhere?" Kakashi chimed in.

"We can't be sure," the Mizukage responded, his expression worried, "but since Kirigakure was once known for being formidable, they've decided to set up base here."

"Is that really okay?" Sakura asked.

"I know that some people thought I was too weak when I was assigned this position," he said calmly, "but the whole point of _being_ in this position is to oversee what's going on. If they've chosen Kirigakure as a base, then so be it. We can monitor the situation."

"What will you do if the situation gets out of hand?" Kakashi asked.

"We have our countermeasures, don't worry," the man said plainly, "but for right now, we're just watching them."

Sakura made a face.

"Something wrong, Sakura-dono?" the Mizukage asked. "Anything to do with the operations here?"

"Actually," the _kunoichi_ enunciated, "I was wondering about the merchants that come from Suiren and travel here."

The Mizukage nodded. "The ones who go through different immigration procedures than those who are tourists or those who come here for work?"

"Yes," she nodded, "if they come here for the outposts, why are immigration officers not checking their things properly? Even when we came in as supposed merchants, they didn't look through our things properly."

"It saved our asses, since we don't _have_ anything that proves we're merchants," Kakashi muttered."

"But the point still stands," Sakura rolled her eyes at her _sensei_, "that people aren't being properly vetted. These can't be your people, right?"

Chōjūrō nodded, moving to rest his elbows on his desk, then his chin on his knuckles. "They aren't. They're Shin's people."

"Ah," Kakashi exhaled, "you know who Shin is, then."

"Only recently," the Mizukage admitted, "the guy has been pretty good at covering his tracks, considering he's not even a trained _shinobi_."

"Is he perhaps one of their guys?" Kakashi asked.

"No," he shook his head, "he was originally a Kirigakure civilian."

Both Sakura and Kakashi froze. "Was?" they asked in unison.

Chōjūrō let out a heavy sigh. "He's become stateless."

"A _civilian_ has become stateless?" Sakura exclaimed. "That's _insane_!"

"Does he know what a stupid mistake he's made?" Kakashi growled. "Whoever is controlling him surely must feel that everything is going according to plan."

"We're keeping an eye on him right now," the Mizukage nodded as though in agreement, "but I suspect that's why he was assigned to Suiren. If we were to take any action, it would put the entire port in danger, and innocent lives would be jeopardized."

Sakura nodded. "That, added onto the fact that Shin pretty much is blackmailing whoever is a business owner there."

Chōjūrō moved to go through a stack of papers, examining each of them before he finally found the one he was looking for. He cleared his throat. "There's a report from a few days ago that we were able to get. Says that they got an import of materials another port town."

"Does it say where?" Sakura asked cautiously.

"Unfortunately no," he shook his head, dismayed, "and we currently don't have the resources to send any of our people to trace the source."

Kakashi sighed. "Seems like we're gonna have to check it out ourselves."

"There's an outpost just a few miles north of here," Chōjūrō said, "it's one of their bigger ones, so please be careful."

"We always are," Sakura smiled as they stood up, "and we'll find something that we can work with."

The two bowed to the Mizukage, thanking him for his help before they stepped out of the tent. Once more, Sakura nodded to the ninjas in sight, acknowledging their place in the camp. All of them bowed to her and Kakashi, and if she heard correctly, she heard them thanking her and addressing her by name. She gave them a smile and pulled the straps of her backpack tighter, preparing herself for what was to come.

"Are you nervous?" Kakashi asked, once they were out of sight of the camp.

"Terrified," she responded, though she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

After a few minutes of walking, she focused her chakra into her feet and climbed up one of the nearby trees. She took a deep breath as she and her _sensei_ breezed through the air, reminding herself to calm down. She pictured what would be found there, how many people would be there, and if it was going to be a bloodbath. Remembering the girl that had been dropped off at the borders of Konoha, she felt rage begin to simmer in her blood. She thought of her daughter, of Naruto, and even of Naruto's children.

There was no way in hell she was going to let any of them, or anyone else, meet the same fate.

* * *

Sakura knew that they were getting close to the outpost when she saw people with bows and arrows near the bottoms of the trees. Just as the Mizukage had told them, she suspected that a lot of them weren't trained _shinobi_, and were perhaps hired mercenaries. They wore helmets and garnered heavy armor as they patrolled the area, making sure that no outsiders were able to get in. Kakashi looked to Sakura then and gave her a look of determination before he opened opened his left eye, revealing the brilliant red of the Sharingan.

"What's the plan?" she whispered.

"There's too many of them," the older man said, "so we need to take them out quick."

"I'll be the decoy?"

"No," he shook his head, "I'm gonna put them under a _genjutsu_, and in that time, you need to take them out."

"_What_?" Sakura exclaimed softly. "There's way too many! I can't work that fast!"

"I know you can." Kakashi said plainly, then looked beneath them. "You got your _kunai_?"

Sakura gulped and nodded.

"Good," Kakashi breathed, "I'm gonna head down and put them under it, and then the rest is up to you."

She watched as Kakashi quickly made his move and skillfully planted himself in a position where the mercenaries could not see him. Reaching into her pocket, she fingered at four, maybe five _kunai_, that would be just enough to take them all out at the same time. There was no room for mistakes, there was no room for blunders. Sakura knew that, like her _sensei_, she had limited time. Although she had done this a hundred times before, she felt her heartbeat in her ears. After all, fieldwork had not been her usual forte. It was incredibly different than staying in a hospital and doing her work _that_ way.

Anxiously, she watched and waited for Kakashi's watched as the men slowly became aware of his presence and readied their weapons. As they were about to strike, they froze, and instantly, she knew that Kakashi had worked his magic on them. At a fast pace, Sakura made her way down the tree using the chakra in her feet, and pulled out all the _kunai_ in her pocket. Holding them in one hand, she lifted herself off the floor for leverage, and flung the weapons in the directions of various pressure points. She heard the sound of the metal slicing through skin and she winced, finding it hard to remember that she was an _iryōnin_ at all.

The mercenaries were slewn, and Kakashi gently laid their bodies on the floor. Hastily, he began taking off the armor of one of the enemies, and Sakura quickly followed in his lead. They quickly put on the helmets and grabbed the bows and arrows, but not before pulling the bodies to the corner and leaving them in a bush. If those bodies were going to be found, it would be much later, and hopefully while they were long gone.

Making their way to the outpost, Sakura was beginning to feel more anxious than she was already feeling. There was no way for Kakashi to communicate to her that things were going to be okay, other than an affirmative pat to the shoulder. Sakura took it though, and reminded herself that it was better than no reassurance. Kakashi walked ahead of her, towards the person who seemed to be in charge of the outpost. She had silky, long, black hair that was tied up into a bun, and there was a scar on her upper lip.

"Tetsu," she said in a scolding tone, "you're late. Any reports?"

"None, ma'am," Kakashi replied quietly, "there hasn't been anything for miles."

"Good," the woman smiled, "as there shouldn't be. What about you, Rika? See anything from our suppliers yet?"

"Not yet, ma'am," Sakura almost squeaked, "but I'm sure they'll arrive soon."

"They better," the woman scoffed, pushing a lock of her long hair behind her ear, "_utsuhō_ is an expensive, imported product. They can't be messing with it."

Sakura eyed a few tables throughout the outposts, all with documents on them that could be very useful to her own operation. Slowly, she made her way through, glancing at documents here and there, looking for something that would hold traction in her reports. As her eyes scanned the documents, she finally found something that read something like 'transfer routes' and other outpost information. Still holding the bow and arrow that she had "borrowed" from the mercenaries before, she began cleaning the arrows and the string of the bow, trying to appear busy.

Her eyes scanned a few lines of how dangerous the herb _utsushō_ was, citing symptoms that went so far as absolute insanity if someone was exposed to too much of the substance. She furrowed her brow then, as she read more into what the substance was, and that it was surely a poison. Spearmint eyes moved to the bottom of the document, and finally, Sakura found what she was looking for:

'The use of _utsushō_ in _fūinjutsu_'.

Checking her surroundings, she noted that there were more mercenaries that were busy with maintaining the outpost and their own tasks, that they wouldn't notice her take a document or two. Swiftly, she grabbed a bunch of papers and managed to temporarily stuff them inside the armor she wore. She looked up when she heard the noise of what sounded like crates being rolled on wheels, and when it entered the camp, the woman from earlier had a wide smile on her face.

"Our long-awaited product," she beamed, "must be the _really_ good stuff, eh?"

"Took it a while to smuggle it out of that place," a man with a deep voice answered, "especially with the port town for criminals right next to it."

"They weren't helpful to you?" the dark-haired woman asked curiously.

"Said we were taking their resources."

The woman nodded as though she understood, but there was a grimace on her face that told Sakura that she was merely plotting easier ways for them to get _utsushō_ out of its native land. She waited anxiously for them to mention the name, knowing that if they so much as uttered the first few syllables, then Sakura was right all along. There were clearly ties between Kirigakure and whoever was allowing these ties to exist. The pink-haired _kunoichi_ continued to pretend to clean her bow and arrow, but she kept her eye on the package that came in.

"The port town there _should_ be helping you," the woman said coolly, "that's where the HQ is. They should know what's going on."

"The HQ is in a run-down part of the Land of Waves, secluded in itself."

"Uzushiogakure was once powerful, for such a small nation. We need to respect that whoever is running the operations there now, is willing to do business with us."

Sakura didn't hear much else of the conversation, screaming in her head that she knew she was right the whole time. Slowly, she made her way over to Kakashi, who was working hard to make his presence unknown, but Sakura could feel his chakra flow from all across the outpost.

"We have to go," Sakura whispered, "if we stay any longer, they might figure us out."

"But we don't have enough information."

"Believe me," she responded hastily, "we do. We need to get out of here."

"We can't leave while they're still watching us."

"We have to make a run for it."

"Sakura, no," Kakashi pulled her arm, "we have to stay here until the sun goes down. Only then will it be safe."

"Are you _kidding_ me, Kakashi-sensei? Naruto is _waiting_ for us -"

"And he would understand that we shouldn't be risking our lives anymore than we already are."

No matter how she looked at it, they were outnumbered. Even if Kakashi put everyone under a _genjutsu_, it was still a great strain on him, and it wouldn't guarantee that they would _stay_ hypnotized. Not only that, but Sakura would surely find it hard to manage to get any other documents or evidence they might need to take back to Konoha. Through the slits in her helmet, she watched the movements of all the other mercenaries on-site and resolved to copy them. She didn't know if her teacher could see her calculating her movements, but he was definitely smart enough to blend in, and to keep from standing out like a sore thumb. They stood in one place for extended periods of time, only moving when it was required. Despite her anxiety that they would be found out, Sakura and Kakashi stayed until dark, playing the parts that they accidentally stumbled into before quickly making their way back to Suiren under different disguises, then finally making their way home.

* * *

Still feeling her own heartbeat in her ears, Sakura could barely hear when the Hokage called her and Kakashi inside his office.

"Take deep breaths," the older man reminded her as he stepped inside before her.

The _kunoichi_ took her first steps inside the Hokage's office, only to see him facing the window that overlooked the city. He wasn't the type to keep his anger inside of him, but he also wasn't the quiet type in general. The man she had known was always fiery, always boisterous, and the fact that he didn't even flinch as the door clicked behind her was beginning to scare her. Taking a few steps forward, she took her place beside their teacher, awaiting a lecture, or a scolding - or _anything_ that wasn't just silence.

Spearmint eyes glanced to the man next to her, but Kakash didn't make a move. He stood with his arms to his side, his expression unreadable. It had been a long time since protocol was practiced on her end, but still she straightened her back and placed her arms at her side, focusing on the blond hair and orange clothes before her.

"Status report?" Naruto asked without turning around.

"We have some information," Sakura squeaked, "that I think can point us towards the next step."

He turned his head slightly then, but didn't turn around completely to look at them. Shikamaru, who was standing off to a corner, cleared his throat as though to prompt Naruto.

"Are you safe?" the Hokage whispered.

"Yes," Sakura breathed, "we're fine."

At that point, from the corner of her eye, Sakura saw Kakashi shift his weight from one foot to the other.

After another few minutes, Naruto finally turned around to face them, his cerulean eyes more alive than the last time she saw him. They held a fervor that she had seen before, back before he became Hokage and was fighting to be acknowledged. She recognized the determination, the decision to not give up, etched into that look he wore on his face.

"I'd like a full report tomorrow afternoon," he uttered, "with all the details, and whatever you can give me that counts as evidence."

"Yes, sir." Sakura and Kakashi said in unison.

Sakura turned on her heel to leave the office, but Kakashi grabbed her hand firmly until she turned around. She couldn't describe the look on his face, but when he turned to look at Shikamaru, she realized he was signaling for her to stay while they left. Looking to Naruto, she saw him examining documents that she presumed were from Sai, who was probably watching from the shadows. Anxiety spread through her veins as Kakashi and Shikamaru left her behind, the click of the door suddenly louder than her heartbeat.

Naruto didn't utter a single word for the longest time and kept his eyes glued to the documents in front of him. Watching him reach up to rub his neck occasionally, Sakura thought to leave him alone, except that he never actually made a move to prop himself in his seat. She waited patiently, too afraid to move, and merely watched as he began to pace left and right. When he finally looked up at her, it was unexpectedly so that her body jolted.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Naruto asked, his voice hushed. "I know it's the first S-ranked mission you've been on in a long time."

"Kakashi-sensei being there helped," she replied hastily, "but it didn't come without its challenges."

The Hokage nodded, but kept his eyes on her face. "And before I get an official report from you, you wanna tell me what you found out?"

Sakura cocked a thin, pink eyebrow. "Expecting some specific intel?"

"Just wanted to see if your hunch was right."

At the somber look in his eyes, she felt her heart sink to her stomach. "You always hated it when I was right."

"Doesn't mean I didn't listen," he smiled sadly, "so you can tell me."

Staring at the man before her, she felt a lump in her throat. No part of this mission was easy, and it had been that way from the start. Something about looking at him before her now had her heart beating to a rhythm she had long forgotten. She cared for him and his well-being and had always wanted the best for him, hoping that he would no longer have to feel any form of hurt after the day of his wedding. Pursing her lips, she felt tears begin to well in her eyes.

"They got a shipment today," she whispered, "and there was a lot of it."

Pausing, she waited for a response from Naruto, but he merely stared at her, his eyes weary. Sakura sighed.

"I got a look at the documents on the tables while everyone was hauling it into the outpost," she continued, "and it looks like Kirigakure isn't the biggest outpost for _utsushō_."

Naruto leaned his palms on his desk and took a deep breath, as though preparing himself for the weight of her answer to his question. "Were you right?"

Hesitantly, Sakura nodded. "It's originally in crystal form, native to what used to be Uzushiogakure."

In all the years she spent with him, he had never been one to throw tantrums to show his anger. He had always let it simmer inside of him, so much so that he would begin to succumb to the _Kyuubi_ inside of him. It had hurt him from the inside out, and she had always wished she could do more. She watched him now, a man who had become one with the beast inside him, and was confused when he gave her a smile.

"So," he said, "you were right, Sakura-chan. The trail points towards the port town near Uzushiogakure."

"Naruto," she began, "I didn't do any of this to prove a point."

The man that stood before her took a few steps towards her, and before she could utter a single word, he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her short hair. She felt his chest rise and fall once, likely a sigh, before she felt her body begin to go limp.

"You never do anything to prove a point," he said gently, "I just wanted you to be wrong for once."

At his words, the lump in her throat formed again. "Why? This is all for the mission, and if solving it means-"

"I know you're a _jōnin_ and that you have a ton of experience," he uttered, "but I can't imagine how terrified you were today, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

Naruto tightened his arms around her. "To have to send you somewhere I don't want you to go."

What was wrong and what was right was beginning to blur into a very thin line, and with that thought in mind, Sakura raised her arms, wrapping them around Naruto's waist, burying her face in his shoulder. They stayed that way for awhile, simply feeling that the other person was there. Tears spilled from spearmint eyes, and he wordlessly let her wipe her eyes on him by stroking her hair. It was overwhelming, and the stress of the mission was finally starting to get to Sakura, but all she could do - instead of wishing him goodnight and sleeping alone - was hold him as she sobbed.

"I don't know why you chose me," she whispered, her voice thick with sobs, "I'm not the person for this."

"You've already proven you are," Naruto chuckled, "and you're not the type to prove yourself and then say no. You always give it your best."

"You think I'll be fine?"

"You always are."

Just a few minutes later, Sakura slowly tore herself away from the man who was once her best friend, and she gave him a sheepish smile. She didn't know if he felt like that was wrong, or that it should've _felt_ wrong, but she personally wanted to kick herself at how right it felt for her. Bidding him a good night and reminding him not to work so late, she walked out his office door, letting it click quietly behind her. There were still some late-night workers in the Hokage Tower, and they bowed to her as she passed by them on her way to the elevator.

Maybe it was because she was trying to walk off the guilt she felt, or the denial she felt that what was in that office was _definitely_ not an embrace, but the journey to her house felt shorter than usual. Sarada was still at Chouji's, probably eating snacks with Chouchou and watching movies. She smiled at the thought that at least _something_ was stable in her daughter's life. As she walked up the path that led to her house, she fumbled for her keys and jingled them in the door.

The lights were off when she left just a day before, but the living room lights were on, and as she approached closer, she saw familiar black hair watching the television. She sighed, making him turn around in his seat.

"What are you doing here?" she asked rather impatiently.

"We need to talk," Sasuke said plainly, "please. I've been listening to your demands this whole time, just hear me out."

"Oh, _now_ you want to talk?"

"It's an inevitable discussion."

"Really?" Sakura scoffed as she made her way to the kitchen. "And what would that be?"

She had quickly pulled a drink from the fridge and faced her husband now, his expression calm. He had always been that way, and it was one of the things that made her fall for him in the first place. But he _never_ showed passion or love for her when it was called for. She leaned against one of the kitchen counters, her patience wearing thin again.

"What do you want, Sasuke?" Sakura asked firmly.

The father of her child stood before her, gently taking her free hand so she would look up at him. He wore an expression that she had never seen before, and her heart became frantic. When he had her full, undivided attention, he parted his lips and spoke:

"I want to meet our daughter."

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


	12. Credence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke tells Sakura what he really wants, and she's taken aback at how he is simultaneously the same person, and a different person, than who she knew fifteen years ago. A secret has also been revealed from the Hokage Tower, but it wasn't Naruto who revealed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this is like, six months late. Things got busy and now we're all in quarantine and lockdown. I hope everyone is doing well, and is safe and healthy. Hopefully having a new chapter will cheer some of you up. Thank you so much to everyone who reads thus far.

"I want to meet our daughter."

The dark eyes that she had always put her at his mercy bore into her now, but there was a softness to it she had only seen one other time -- at the end of the Fourth Shinobi War. Studying his face, she looked for any sign of the possibility that he was lying, but she found it hard to figure out _ why _ he would be lying in the first place. Sasuke did not utter another word, and did not make another sound as he watched her carefully. As she laid down her drink on the counter behind her, she felt a weight lifted off her heart, although she was still somewhat in disbelief.

"You want to meet her?" Sakura said softly. 

"I was gone all her life," he replied, "and I just couldn't come home and face you. Which was unworthy of me."

Sakura's eyebrows shot up. "Couldn't face me?"

"In what way did it make sense for me to come back to the mother of my child after I had abandoned her?"

She stared at him, her eyes feeling impossibly wide. "Part of the reason you left was to redeem yourself for Naruto and the village."

"He didn't ask me to."

"That's true, but--"

"I'm sorry I left you." His face softened now as he looked at her, and if this had happened fifteen years ago, she might have run into his arms and held him, and not let him go. There were so many moments in her life that she wished she was that same young woman, but she looked at him now, her anger simmering deep in her chest. 

"Why are you only saying sorry now?" she said through her teeth, more because she felt a lump in her throat than because she was trying to control her anger. 

Sasuke could read her face even without using his Sharingan, and at her expression, he looked to his feet. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and took a deep breath before lifting his eyes to meet hers again. 

"I finally gathered the courage to."

To Sakura, his reply was unexpected. It didn't _ sound _ like him -- at least, the old him -- and it was absolutely throwing her for a loop. She ran through the last fifteen years in her mind and remembered all the times that his absence was deeply felt by her as she was forced to raise their daughter alone. He hadn't been asked to redeem himself, and yet he still went on a journey and left her waiting for him yet again. Over the last few days since she had first seen him, she always felt as though he wasn't really there, almost as though he was a ghost. He stood before her now though, uttering words she had always wanted to hear. 

Why was she finding it hard to trust him?

"You were running away from me," she whispered, "saying you were sorry to everyone else but me."

No words left his lips, but he nodded his head ever so slightly, and Sakura thought to herself that it was out of shame.

"Look," she sighed, "I appreciate that you want to meet her, but I don't think it's time yet."

"What do you mean?"

"Her father just up and left her and her mother for all her life. Seeing you might not harbor the reaction that you want, and it could very well end up in sending her straight to therapy," Sakura explained, "so you need to be tactful about this."

"So, what you're saying is--"

"I'm not saying no. Just... I need time before I'm okay with you meeting her."

Sasuke nodded without a beat, which made Sakura think that at the very least, he became a man who could respect her wishes. He was different than how he used to be, and she bitterly realized that all those years away from her was probably what guided him into being the man who could gather the courage to apologize to her. She looked up at him, wondering what to say next. 

"I'm assuming she's not here tonight," he said.

"Sleeping at Chouji's."

He furrowed his brow as he looked at her, seemingly wondering about something that he hadn't yet decided if he wanted to voice out loud. Sakura quickly grabbed her glass and placed it in the sink and aimlessly turned on the faucet, washing her hands because suddenly, she didn't know what to _ do _. She waited for him to say something, but it was only when she turned to face him again after wiping her hands on a cloth that he opened his mouth. 

"Sakura," he uttered her name softly, "is it okay if I stay here tonight?"

At just his words, she felt her resolve begin to chip away quickly. She didn't know whether she had heard him wrong, since he was perfectly okay with staying elsewhere since he arrived in Konoha. Avoiding looking at him, she shifted her eyes to her feet, feeling weak. Part of her wanted to tell him to get the fuck out, but the other part of her, which was so muddled she could barely make out what she was feeling, seemed to be screaming at her to let him stay. She bit her lip, finding it hard to make a decision, especially since he had said everything she wanted to hear in the last fifteen years. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to meet his, and found that he did not waver as he kept his eyes on her. He took a step closer to her, and whatever resolve she had left was broken as he swept her cheekbone with his thumb. Surging forward, she crashed her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

She wasn’t paying attention except only to the feel of him against her, but before she knew it, she was laying on her back in her bedroom, Sasuke hovering over her, his eyes bright as he looked at her face in the dark, the moonlight coming in through her window. They were both breathing heavily, and as he leaned down to pepper her neck with kisses, there was a twinge in her heart that made her realize that she was shutting down. Even as Sasuke made his way down and slowly peeled away her pants, she felt her heart break, and wanted nothing more than for it to feel full. She knew that he had been away for over a decade, and had missed him despite the fact that she was angry with him for leaving. A younger version of herself would have _ craved _ to be touched by him like this, and even when he turned her over so she was on her knees, she merely let her body take over as her heart succumbed to hollowness. 

∞

_ What was I thinking? _ she thought to herself as she lay on her side, facing the balcony. She pulled the blanket over her, pretending to be asleep. Sasuke had only stayed in bed for a short while after they were done, and when he thought she was asleep, he stood up and put on his clothes and walked out onto the balcony. Silently, she watched and listened to him -- listened to his heavy sighs, and watched as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one after another. Though she did not think it was possible, she felt her heart sink even more than it already did at the sight, thinking that she didn’t actually know this man well enough at all. She wondered when he had started smoking, _ why _ he started doing it, and whether he would stop if she asked him to. Yet, both times she had asked him to stay with her, he left. 

Sakura could find no reason why he would stop a habit for her, if he couldn’t even stay with her.

Her tired, dry eyes watched him for as long as they could, but she saw how many cigarettes he smoked. She counted how many times he sighed wearily. She noted how often he looked up at the moon, almost as though asking it for some kind of guidance, the way people went to temples as a signal of new beginnings. Spearmint eyes welled up then, wondering if the two people who were supposed to be husband and wife just couldn’t do so anymore. Subtly, she took a deep breath and rolled over to face the other way, deciding that she had seen enough. If he was acting this way when he thought she was asleep, surely it was hard for him to even come back to her and apologize. At the thought, she could not hold back the tears that welled in her eyes, and she buried her face in her pillow, willing them to stop. 

It had never been more clear to her that he tried his best to love her. That was what people in committed relationships were supposed to do -- find ways to stay committed to the other, and keep finding new reasons to love them, instead of letting love die. Even if it took him fifteen years to realize it, he still came to understand what he had to do, what his duty and responsibility was to her and their daughter. Her thoughts felt like cobwebs in her mind and she was unable to break through them long enough for her to just sleep. Hearing Sasuke close the balcony door, she half-expected him to crawl into bed beside her, but was dismayed when she heard the bedroom door shut behind him as he, once again, left her alone. 

* * *

Dreams came and left her mind in a haze, that when she finally opened her eyes to the dawn, she wasn’t sure if she had slept at all. Her bones were tired, her mind as weary as her limbs. As she sat up in bed, she averted her eyes to the closed door and sighed, knowing that Sasuke hadn’t come back inside the bedroom. Gnawing on her bottom lip, Sakura tried not to feel disappointed, knowing that some part of her expected him to take off again. Still it didn’t make the void in her chest go away. 

There was no one to be angry at or upset with.

Drawing in a deep breath, she made her way to the bathroom and quickly got herself ready. There were a bunch of things that were on her mind that she needed to get done, and it was still so early in the day. Off the top of her head, she knew that she had to draft an official report for the Hokage, which she had to do from her office. She also intended to do more research into the mission -- more specifically into _ utsushõ _ and Uzushiogakure -- to see what other information she could find. She had also promised Sarada that she would allow her to sit in on Yuzuru’s training, since it had been a while. Everything was running through her mind aimlessly as she got dressed, and she reminded herself that there was no time to feel pity for herself.

She opened her bedroom door to hear the sounds of plates clinking in the kitchen, figuring that Sarada had gotten home early and didn’t want to wake her, but was too hungry and decided to make her own breakfast. Descending the stairs, she put her hair up in a bun as she approached the back door to the kitchen, composing herself so that her daughter would not sense anything was wrong. Plastering a smile on her face, she reached for the knob and opened the door, but what she found there was the last thing she expected to see. She froze, not sure if she was even awake at this point at all. 

Sasuke stood before the stove, frying up food in a pan skillfully as he reached for two plates near him. Bewildered, the _ kunoichi _ stood and stared at the back of his head, unsure of what to say to him. She took a few steps towards him, knowing that he had heard her come in, but he still didn’t utter a word. 

“You didn’t stay in bed last night,” she decided to start, “I thought you left.”

“I slept on the sofa.”

“Oh.”

“Go sit at the table. Breakfast will be done soon.”

“Are you staying to eat?” she asked, thinking that Sarada would soon be on her way home.

“No,” he answered without turning to look at her, “I remember what you said. I’ll leave as soon as I’m done.”

Sakura stared at the back of his head, unsure of whether she should start a conversation, or to just leave it be. She mulled it over in her mind for about a minute before she decided to just sit down at the dining table. There was nothing she could think of to talk about. How would you start a conversation with someone you haven’t seen in fifteen years, anyway? Her eyes moved to the already-poured orange juice and she reached for a glass, taking a big gulp. Her hands, which were normally perfectly fine not doing anything when need be, felt fidgety and she busied herself by fixing her hair that she had previously decided was good enough. In her pocket, her cell phone vibrated, and she felt relieved when she saw Yuzuru’s name on the caller ID.

“Hello!” she said, her voice a singsong. 

“_ Ms. Haruno! Just wanted to check in with you. Are you coming into the office today? _”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m coming in, but I guess I’m going to be a little late.”

“_ Is everything okay? _”

“Yeah,” she lied, “just that Sarada still isn’t back from the Akimichis’, and I wanted to have breakfast with her before she goes off to the Academy today.”

“_ Alright, no problem _.”

“Did anyone need me this morning?”

“_ Just that the Hokage dropped by and asked for you _ _ . _”

Sakura winced. “Ah, is this about the report for the mission?”

“_ No, he didn’t say. He didn’t seem too bothered though, _ ” Yuzuru pondered, “ _ just kind of seemed like he wanted to say hi or something _.”

They said their farewells on the phone and hung up, a million thoughts running through Sakura’s mind. She could picture how she would organize her desk for the day and which documents were most important, and what time she’d have to send them out by. Taking another swig of orange juice, she began to feel overwhelmed at the thought that _ this _ was the kind of shit that Lady Tsunade had to deal with. S-ranked missions that demanded one hundred percent of your attention, training an eager apprentice, and constantly having messages in the office that requested your presence at meetings or otherwise.

_ No wonder she was always fucking gambling and drinking _, she thought to herself. 

She became so lost in her thoughts that she barely noticed when Sasuke laid a plate full of food in front of her, then set an identical platter next to her. He uttered her name four times before she stirred, her eyes suddenly not so foggy. 

"What?" she asked, blinking.

"I better go now," he replied, his expression something she _ still _ couldn't read. "Sarada might be on her way back."

Crossing her legs in her seat, Sakura nodded. They didn't utter another word as Sasuke moved to make his way back into the kitchen and out the back door, and she watched his back the way she did for so many years, helplessly following after him. Somehow, in the time that she had been zoned out, he had cleaned the pans that he used to cook their breakfasts and left them to dry on the rack beside the sink. He had worked silently, listening to every slight shift of her body, trying to make up for lost time where he didn't get to see her grow as a ninja and as a woman. Most of all, though, as his wife and as the mother of his child. Everything she had done to protect herself from getting hurt had made sense, even to him. There was no doubt that _ he _ fucked up, that _ he _ broke her heart, and on a level that no one would expect of him, he knew he had hurt her. 

Still, as he turned the knob and stepped out the back door, she said loud enough for him to hear:

"Thank you."

The door clicked behind Sasuke quietly after a few seconds of deliberation, and just as she found herself on many days, Sakura was alone with a platter of food before her. It smelled absolutely delicious, and she wondered idly when and where he had learned cooking. Was it for himself, or was it also for whoever sat with him as he journeyed from one town to the next in the last fifteen years? She picked up a pair of chopsticks and made a cut through the whites of her sunny-side up eggs, her fingers trembling as she did so. Biting her lip had become habit when she felt distressed, but she found that this time, it was more because she was trying to alleviate the heaviness she felt inside her chest. In her thirty-five years of living, she was always told that time would heal all wounds, no matter how deeply they seared into a person. 

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shoved the food down her throat, an attempt at stifling the sobs that threatened to erupt from deep inside her. 

Though she had intended to wait for Sarada to come home to start eating, she decided it was probably better she ate first. There was something about eating the food that Sasuke made for her that triggered emotions that had been dormant for such a long time. In hindsight, it was incredibly cheesy, and as Sarada might say, absolutely gross. As she grew older, she really shouldn't be _ fazed _ by little things like this. She even felt a little bit embarrassed as she washed her plate and laid it on the rack. As she opened the fridge door for more orange juice, she heard her fourteen-year-old daughter call from the door, "I'm home!"

"I'm in the kitchen!" she called back. 

Excited steps hit the wooden floor as Sarada made her way to the kitchen, throwing herself into her mother's arms and almost knocking over the carton of orange juice in her hands. Sakura smiled and stroked her hair. "You never hug me when you haven't seen me for a few days, did you do something bad that I should know about?"

"When have I ever gotten in trouble, Mom?" Sarada pulled back and rolled her eyes. "I was just excited for you to come home."

"Because?"

"Because you're my mom?"

"Nice try," Sakura laughed, "what's the real reason?"

"I can't wait to train with you again!" she beamed. 

A pink eyebrow was cocked. "So soon?"

"You _ promised_."

"I know I did, but you have a lot going on with school and your own missions, so the training is really only reserved for free time." Sakura noticed that there was a glint in her daughter's eyes that only showed itself when she was determined to do something. "What's the rush?"

"Mom," Sarada said, "when did you take the _ chūnin _ exams?”

“I was twelve.”

“And I’m fourteen.”

“Konoha also had tense relationships with its neighbors, so they _ needed _ their _ shinobis _ to start younger.”

“Okay, but I plan on becoming one in my adult life, which means the choices I make now are going to affect my future, right?”

“Well--”

“We got an announcement from the Academy that they’re going to hold _ chūnin _ exams again.”

Sakura’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really?”

“I’m _ so _ excited, Mom! You have no idea how much me and Chouchou have talked about wishing we could experience it. It just makes you feel like you’re progressing forward as a _ shinobi _, you know?”

She nodded and listened intently to her daughter, and even followed her to the dining table to watch her eat her breakfast that was made by her father. It was hard to display enthusiasm when all she felt was fear, her skin covered with goosebumps. Her mind had flashes of the girl that Sai found on the borders of Konoha, and she couldn’t help but think to herself that if the Seventh Hokage had reinstated _ chūnin _ exams, there _ must _ be something wrong. If they were anything like the ones that she had experienced as a child, it was hard to think of an explanation as to why such dire situations were still needed. Children should have childhoods, not be traumatized into thinking that the life of a comrade depended on their skills as a ninja. 

It seemed as though problems were piling up after one another. 

* * *

The commute to her office felt longer than usual. Maybe it was because there were more people perusing the streets than usual, or perhaps it was because her mind had convinced her that it was so. Yuzuru had been making a pot of coffee as she stepped into the office and she threw him a quick hello before retreating to her office.

Her transparent, glass office. 

She groaned as she took off her coat and set it on the nearby coat rack that Yuzuru had insisted she get. As soon as she sat down in her chair, Yuzuru came through her door with two mugs of coffee, a bright smile on his face. He placed one before her, then wrapped both his hands around his mug. He seemed to be bouncing on the balls of his feet, almost as though he was expecting her to say something. She cocked an eyebrow.

“Can I help you?” she uttered.

“How was the mission with the great Kakashi?”

She snorted. “Sometimes I forget how much of a nerd you are with this kind of stuff.”

“No duh. I wasn’t fortunate enough to be trained by him, or Lady Tsunade.”

“Well,” she sighed, “we got the mission done. That’s what’s important.”

“So what’s the next step?”

“That’s for the Hokage to decide,” she replied as she reached for blank paper in one of her drawers, “and he can only decide once he’s had an official report. Which I still have yet to write.”

“Yeesh,” Yuzuru exclaimed, “you had all last night to start. Were you just too worn out from the mission?”

Sakura gulped as images of Sasuke hovering over her loomed in her mind. “Yeah, especially because it’s been awhile since I actually went on a mission like this, even if it _ was _ only for intel.”

“I could’ve helped you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I give you enough work as it is.”

They chatted for a few minutes more until Sakura playfully shooed him away, grabbing a pen and quickly writing down the date, along with the first few sentences of her report. It took her awhile to document the information that she obtained from Suiren, considering that it was more than she, Kakashi, or Naruto had anticipated. She wrote of Shin, and made a note in her report that he was someone to look out for, and potentially investigate. Perhaps having the ANBU keep tabs on him would lead them straight to the source of this entire operation, but she wasn’t so hopeful at that idea. With S-ranked missions, things hardly worked out the way that they were expected to.

Her hand had guided her to write two pages now, and she wasn’t even done. She had noted the condition of the port town between Konoha and Kirigakure, the ease with which she and Kakashi had entered the capital, and before she knew it, she had reached the point in the mission where she had found confirmation that _ utsushō _ was, in fact, native to Uzushiogakure. She took a deep breath then, remembering that she had already told Naruto in person that her suspicions were, as she had feared, true. Signing off her report, she heard the beep of her intercom, signifying that Yuzuru was paging her.

She pressed her finger on the button at the base of the machine. “Yes?”

“If you’re done with your report, I can go and hand it to Lord Seventh.”

“Normally, I’d let you do so, but I think I have something I want to ask him about.”

“You gonna ask him something personal?” Sakura could hear the teasing lilt in his voice.

“_ No _, you gossip,” she rolled her eyes, “some genuine concerns that I wanted to raise. Some information I heard on a grapevine that I need confirmed.”

Yuzuru chuckled, but did not press any further. Grabbing a folder to stick her papers into, Sakura’s mind wandered back to that morning, when Sarada had told her about the Academy. She furrowed her brow, an uneasiness settling into her chest. Straightening her clothes, she put her coat back on and took one last sip of the coffee Yuzuru had brought her, which was more warm than hot at this point. As she made her way out of her office, she threw him a quick wave and headed for the elevator, hoping that there weren’t too many people. She walked through the lobby and gave courteous smiles and hellos as the automatic sliding doors opened and the cold air bit her cheeks. Her mind was only focused on a few hundred things, and she couldn’t decide how to approach each predicament calmly. 

It was hard to tell what had made her this way. She didn’t know where all her self-confidence had gone. 

Eventually, she reached the Hokage Tower and was knocking at the Hokage’s door. Shikamaru had answered her, beckoning her to come in. Her eyes rested upon Naruto at his desk, looking through a few scrolls that his advisor was helping him sift through. He hardly noticed that she was standing in the doorway, and she wanted to laugh at his furrowed brow. It was a rare sight. 

She cleared her throat. “Am I interrupting?”

At her voice, Naruto looked up, surprised. “No, come in.” He set aside the scroll he was reading, motioning for Shikamaru to roll it back up for him to look at later. Standing up from his seat, he began to make his way across the room as Sakura came closer, but she held up a hand, halting him.

“There’s no need to come over,” she chuckled, “you’re the boss and I’m just here to deliver a report.”

“I thought maybe you were gonna ask me to go for ramen.”

Sakura raised her eyebrows as she handed the folder to Shikamaru. “You haven’t had lunch?”

“Would it be presumptuous to assume that you haven’t eaten yet, either?” Naruto smirked. 

“Well,” she laughed, “I came in late today because I was, uh, having breakfast at home.”

“Ah,” Naruto replied curtly, “I’m assuming you had breakfast in bed.”

She cleared her throat. “No. I woke up to the smell of food.”

The moment _ might _ have been awkward if Naruto had stayed silent, or if he stood before her and shifted his weight from one foot to the other in a desperate attempt to keep the awkwardness at bay. Instead, he laughed -- though it sounded forced -- and took the folder from her. 

“I mean,” he started as he gestured to her to follow him into the tea room, “I can always have Ichiraku deliver food if you wanna talk about your report.”

“I can answer any questions you may have, obviously. Has Kakashi-_ sensei _ handed in his yet?”

“Not yet,” Naruto shook his head, “and even when he does, I’ll clarify anything that comes up from his report with him. Don’t worry about it.”

They sat down in the room, Shikamaru joining them by sitting in one of the chairs. He was still going through one of the scrolls that he had been holding when she came in, his brow furrowed. Sakura chuckled. 

“If you keep furrowing your brow like that,” she said, “you’re gonna get lines in your forehead and Temari’s gonna get worried.”

“She already worries too much about me,” he replied without looking up, “so not furrowing my brow isn’t gonna make a difference.”

Sakura snorted, then looked at the room. It wasn’t much different than when Lady Tsunade and Kakashi had been Hokage, but that was just to the naked eye. Since Naruto took office, he had polished all of the previous Kages’ photos and hung them up again. He refurbished the furniture, had a console table with a teapot and a few cups. The water dispenser was in the corner of the room, unnoticeable unless you were _ really _ looking. When she looked back at him, sitting across from her, he was still reading her report, nodding as though she was the one reading the information to him out loud. She cleared her throat.

“Everything up to code?” 

“Seems like it is,” he nodded, “but I shouldn’t be so surprised. You were always good at makin’ these reports.”

“Only because Sasuke didn’t care, and you always forgot.”

They both laughed. 

“Shikamaru,” Naruto said, “can you do me a favor and ask the front desk to order some ramen from Ichiraku?”

Without a word, and without moving his eyes from the scroll, Shikamaru stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him. It was silent for a few beats, and Naruto was still reading the report. Sakura found herself fidgeting with the sleeve of her coat, mostly because she didn’t know whether she should say something, or wait for _ him _ to say something. After he finally let out a heavy sigh, she straightened her back and eagerly waited for him to look at her.

“Well,” he said, “I’ll log this with Shikamaru and assign you when I decide what to do next.”

“Wouldn’t going to Uzushiogakure be the next step?”

“No,” he shook his head, “there are other cases that demand our attention right now, and this is still an S-ranked mission.”

“All the more reason to send me.”

“Sakura-chan--”

“You can’t keep saying that you believe in me, and then rescind that statement every time you’re presented with a situation where I have to go somewhere that is only mildly dangerous.”

“Okay,” he sighed, “first of all, I never knew what it meant when you used that word--”

“Rescind?”

“That one,” he chuckled, “and second of all, I have _ always _ believed in you. It’s all I ever do.”

“Then why are you waiting?”

“Because you have to remember that this is a mission that also involves other nations and their cases, too. We still need information from Iwagakure, and there’s some towns that our ANBU are stationed in that have yet to report.”

“So I’m just supposed to sit on my ass while I wait for shit to hit the ceiling?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t have to,” Sakura rolled her eyes, “but I thought you were going to make things different when you became Hokage.”

The man before her cocked a blond eyebrow. “What is _ that _ supposed to mean?”

“Sarada told me that she got an announcement from the Academy.”

At her words, confusion dawned on Naruto’s face. “What?”

“You have something you wanna tell me, Naruto?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sarada _ told _ me that there was an announcement that there’s a change in the chūnin exams, that they’re gonna be conducted the way they were when we were taking it!”

The lively blue eyes that she had come to know so well were now dull as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, sighing. He appeared much older now and did not look at her at first. His thoughts seemed to be running in his mind, and Sakura waited patiently for an explanation. There was a feeling in her bones that what she was going to hear was not going to be what she wanted to hear, but it was hardly the time to allow herself the luxury of being oblivious and ignorant. “Naruto,” she whispered, “what’s going on?”

The Hokage sighed and closed his eyes briefly before opening them to look at her. There was a ferocity in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in a long time, and then her stomach began to sink.

“No one is supposed to know that information.”

Spearmint eyes blinked as panic washed over her. “What, like that wasn’t something you had made public knowledge yet?”

“No,” he shook his head slowly, “because I haven’t run it by the other Kages yet.”

An eerie silence filled the room as she stared at him in horror. She couldn’t begin to form coherent thoughts that would come out in the form of questions -- there was just so much going through her head. One of these days, all the panic and anxiety she endured was going to catch up to her. As much as she can convince herself to fight it off, at some point, she would give in. Things in Konoha, and elsewhere, had been running smoothly since the end of the Fourth Shinobi War. Peace had been achieved, and systemic abuse was abolished when the new generation of Kages took the stage. Yet, she sat on the sofa across from the Hokage, not understanding what was happening at all. It was the same way she felt when she found out that Sasuke had, in a way, started the war. 

“I thought about it since you told me about the girl that Sai found at the borders,” Naruto said slowly, “and it just seems like the children here -- no, everywhere -- aren’t safe. Even if they don’t have a _ kekkei gengkai _.”

She expelled a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“What are you gonna do?” she whispered. “That seems like a serious breach of security--”

“It is,” Naruto admitted, “but I have it under control, I promise.”

“People are gonna think you’re trying to start another war,” she said softly, “and even if the other Kages know that you wouldn’t do so… people here will start questioning your authority.”

“There’s always gonna be at least one person undermining authority,” he replied as he stood up, making his way to the teapot, “and what I’ve learned from everyone before me is that I have to take it in stride.”

Sakura moved to hold her head in her hands, sighing as hard as her lungs would let her. “Everything’s such a mess,” she breathed.

“You don’t have to be the one to clean it up,” he assured her.

It was true that since Lady Tsunade retired and threw her position into Sakura’s lap, things had been challenging. She was assigned an S-ranked mission -- the type of mission that she hadn’t worked on in _ years _, especially at the caliber that this particular one was. She removed her face from her hands to find that Naruto had placed a cup of tea before her, ready with some milk already poured in. Just the way she liked it. She looked up at him as he sipped on his cup of tea, his eyes exhausted. Remembering the morning that he had bade her farewell before she left with Kakashi, her shoulders slumped at the memory of his admission of how bad the insomnia had gotten. Naturally, Sakura felt sad for him, and if she was being completely honest with herself, she wouldn’t let him face adversity alone. 

“It may be your job to clean up this kind of stuff,” she uttered, “but there’s no way in hell I’m letting you do it alone.”

* * *

next ⇥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments, lovelies! xo


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